Why the sudden desire to open up?

[kynrazor]

My guess based on the scant information available something changed in her personal situation and she is looking at her parachutes, so to speak.

A few questions:

Just curious what is the age difference?

Is she a materialistic or superficial woman?

What is the difference between the two of you in education/cultural expierence?

When you visited her did you also meet other women?

Did you meet any of her close freinds and family during your visit?

Bd

The insight you will receive from answering the above from those in the know might aid you in coming to answer to what you are pondering?

Ah I guess it won't hurt to answer, so might as well.

1. age diff is 3 years.
2. Not saying it's impossible she's not materialistic but highly unlikely given the fact that she paid for her (admittedly cheap) travel from the suburbs to see me in the city centre though I did surprise her with an inexpensive gift to which she reciprocated by insisting on buying me bread and kept pushing my handful of rubles away.

Oh by the way, you won't imagine the things I had to say to persuade her to see me  . In the end she told me:"I have great news. I will be free this afternoon."  Overall she was very hospitable.

3. Culturally, I'm British-savvy, she's...FSU Muscovite I guess? We are both university students.
4. Didn't have time to meet other women. I think the fact that I mentioned I talked to many people on the dating site but she came across as the most special, actually seemed to have pissed her off a little. Was evident from her raised voice reply to that but otherwise, the conversation was quite pleasant and she took me around the red square and other sites.
5. Was planning to visit her family. I even asked what gifts she thought her family would like, eg. teddy for the lil sister but of course, my stay was cut short due to work commitments. 

[kynrazor]

to the OP,

As I said, it is not at all unusual, and a part of their "vetting" system as well as other things that are somewhat cultural that RW do to guys here (like when RW look away quickly when you look at them if you don't know them, even though they may find you attractive and want you to approach). I even reply 1-3 days later depending on the situation now that I have adapted to living here. Until you have established a sound relationship, you should not find this unusual.

It's mostly about proving yourself to them, not much more. This is especially true with girls from Moscow.

Very re-assuring. Perhaps I should step up a notch and send better signals that I am capable of commitment. Perhaps it's simply paranoia from me for fear of being stringed along for the ride and played with by this 21 year old lass with admittedly mesmerizingly beautiful eyes gleaming with intellect.

It's not due to lack of approach that I've only ended up with her solely as the strongest prospect at the moment, enough to warrant a visit. It's simply because I haven't found others who have met my criteria manners-wise (no visible tattoos), chemistry-wise and to a lesser extent looks-wise, though I'll admit I fancy curvy types but no dealbreaker

Oh btw, do you think she's serious about her Orthodox faith? She told me before she observes the Lent fast, where she had to control her emotions and refrain from meat etc.

[kynrazor]

You are young yourself at the age of 24. Women over there tend to believe young men aren't serious, responsible and too much into themselves. Women may apply those labels to you until you prove otherwise. You are also unemployed. Your lady may not be a gold digger but financial stability is important to her. Most of your competition that is writing her are employed. Don't expect things to progress with this woman until you become a more attractive candidate for marriage.

Haha fair enough. Would like to hear what others think of this stereotype?

[GQBlues]

Haha fair enough. Would like to hear what others think of this stereotype?

Mating is really very simple. Just trust & rely on your basic instincts.

If that 'stereotype' were true - anywhere - then there would not have been a *bad boy* syndrome. On the contrary, it's a well proven-science to be true.

"...The researchers also measured whether or not wealth played into Chris’ level of attractiveness — they found that it had a very small effect. Half of the women were told that Chris only had the potential to earn $20,000 per year and the other half were told that Chris’s parents won $10 million and would pay him $500,000 a year. The disparity in the results was insignificant, probably because the spike in money did not affect Chris’s abilities. Women want men with a wedding band because of his marriageable qualities — skills and ambition are attractive. Inheritance isn’t impressive enough to boost raw sex appeal...."

Here's another.

Confidence beats all else.

Now, I realize 'being confident' is an oxymoron in the world of our little niche of MOB, but do give being an exception to the rule a chance. You'll be glad you did.

[BillyB]

Would like to hear what others think of this stereotype?

Sure, what have you heard?

[Nightwish]

I only have one advice right now, if you are serious about this woman, you want something to develop, test the feeling.

Get your ass on a plane - your in UK, its a 2-3 hour trip.. put your boots on the ground and prove it/yourself to her, not just "bla bla bla" because she has certainly heard it all before..

Be the man of action she looks for.. and this advice goes for all that is "looking", stop talking and start acting.

I read you said hoping to be there in April? Why? A weekend in Moscow takes little effort and is cheap trip from UK, only a small hassle with Visa.

[msmob]

Women over there tend to believe young men aren't serious, responsible and too much into themselves.

SOME women feel this way ...

My daughter has been living with her guy since they were students - I know plenty of RU folk the same age scrimping and saving - living in a room in an apartment in Moscow - to make ends meet

Sure, Kyn will be more marketable - in the future - but if he has his heart set on finding a FSU W he'd be better meeting lasses in the UK - until he can afford to make regular trips - part of the courting process

Miss 21 simply does not sound 'in to you' Kyn - she is flitting ...  plenty of student age relationships break down when distance / long periods apart are a factor ...

You just ain't on the ground in her city long enough ... you're virtual when not around

[BillyB]

My daughter has been living with her guy since they were students - I know plenty of RU folk the same age scrimping and saving - living in a room in an apartment in Moscow - to make ends meet

"Living together" and "being married" are two different things. Can a guy  bring a woman over to "live" with him in the UK? If not, kynrazor needs to consider marriage if he wants to be with an FSU woman. It's harder to get a woman to marry him in comparison to getting a woman to live with him.


Couples from the same country have little risk living together. If things don't work out, they can drive back to their parents within minutes. Marrying someone overseas is a bigger riskier decision and harder to get out of the situation should things not work.

Get your ass on a plane - your in UK, its a 2-3 hour trip.. put your boots on the ground and prove it/yourself to her, not just "bla bla bla" because she has certainly heard it all before..

Our man did meet the woman. Her desire and intensity to communicate with him did not increase after the fact.

[Nightwish]

"Living together" and "being married" are two different things. Can a guy  bring a woman over to "live" with him in the UK? If not, kynrazor needs to consider marriage if he wants to be with an FSU woman. It's harder to get a woman to marry him in comparison to getting a woman to live with him.


Couples from the same country have little risk living together. If things don't work out, they can drive back to their parents within minutes. Marrying someone overseas is a bigger riskier decision and harder to get out of the situation should things not work.



Our man did meet the woman. Her desire and intensity to communicate with him did not increase after the fact.

for a few hours and ended the visit premature....

[GQBlues]

... but if he has his heart set on finding a FSU W he'd be better meeting lasses in the UK - until he can afford to make regular trips - part of the courting process ...

I can't comment about the FSU lasses in the UK, but these young British *birds* are about as delicious as they get, if not even more so.

[Trenchcoat]

"Living together" and "being married" are two different things. Can a guy  bring a woman over to "live" with him in the UK? If not, kynrazor needs to consider marriage if he wants to be with an FSU woman. It's harder to get a woman to marry him in comparison to getting a woman to live with him.


Couples from the same country have little risk living together. If things don't work out, they can drive back to their parents within minutes. Marrying someone overseas is a bigger riskier decision and harder to get out of the situation should things not work.



Our man did meet the woman. Her desire and intensity to communicate with him did not increase after the fact.

Theoretically she could live with him on a tourist visa for up to six months. However, either he needs to show he can support her or she show she can support herself for however long a duration it will be up to six months. For him this is unlikely to be possible as he is a student with not enough in the way of income, I'm guessing she is unlikely to have the finances to do this from her side either. Even then there are no guarantees she will get a visa as border control will want to know why she is coming and be assured that she will have sufficient reason to return. This is the stuff my last girl could not quite comprehend when I tries to explain her demand to have me sort her a visa or we don't meet again was too early in our relationship to indulge in.

Short answer is no she can't live with Kyn in an ongoing relationship here he will have to marry her for that, similar process for a tourist visa once married to get her in the country permanently once married hence why its easier to get married and forgo having to do the same long bureaucratic process twice over or more. I would suggest to Kyn even applying for a tourist visa he needs to be sure girl is really into him and not just looking for a way in the country and then once in go off and pull another bloke as this will then be very easy for a young pretty girl to do here. There are some very ruthless women out there that won't think twice of stepping on whoever they have to in order to get to where they want to be. For me doing all the leg work so some other geezer who couldn't be assed to get on a plane to meet a foreign girl could meet her by my bringing her in would suck too badly. I think you are again right Billy if she did not have her interest heightened by a brief visit then Kyn needs to be very wary as she probably is not that into him for the right reasons - i.e him, but more for her own reasons of herself.

[Trenchcoat]

I only have one advice right now, if you are serious about this woman, you want something to develop, test the feeling.

Get your ass on a plane - your in UK, its a 2-3 hour trip.. put your boots on the ground and prove it/yourself to her, not just "bla bla bla" because she has certainly heard it all before..

Be the man of action she looks for.. and this advice goes for all that is "looking", stop talking and start acting.

I read you said hoping to be there in April? Why? A weekend in Moscow takes little effort and is cheap trip from UK, only a small hassle with Visa.

Visa costs near £200 each time, a multi visa entry would save on doing it a lot if frequently travelling but one off cost would go up and then they would want to know why, etc. The visa form is not a joy for brits to fill out to go to Russia, lots of long pointless sections to fill in with irrelevant data. Kyn rushing back for 'work commitments' is pretty silly as he no doubt just spent a lot on a visa which he barely got any use out off. That is before higher cost of accommodation in Moscow compared to somewhere like Kiev is taken into account, need to get visiting stamp from hotel or wherever etc. If Kyn lives in London getting to the visa centre is not too bad but if you live outside it is a pain in the rear. Also the courier company the London (Russian) visa centre uses is a pain in the rear, they are cr*p at getting your passport back to you, I literally had to turn up to their distribution centre to retrieve it to avoid an even bigger delivery ordeal. 

[msmob]

"Living together" and "being married" are two different things. Can a guy  bring a woman over to "live" with him in the UK? If not, kynrazor needs to consider marriage if he wants to be with an FSU woman. It's harder to get a woman to marry him in comparison to getting a woman to live with him.

It is possible you didn't get that I'm comparing Kyn's potential male opposition is Moscow

You are confusing US visa regs with that of  - say - the UK ..... an FSU W can come to check out your life - live with you for some time

BTW - he did say he prefers Kyn

Short answer is no she can't live with Kyn in an ongoing relationship here he will have to marry her for that, similar process for a tourist visa once married to get her in the country permanently once married hence why its easier to get married and forgo having to do the same long bureaucratic process twice over or more. I would suggest to Kyn even applying for a tourist visa he needs to be sure girl is really into him and not just looking for a way in the country and then once in go off and pull another bloke as this will then be very easy for a young pretty girl to do here. There are some very ruthless women out there that won't think twice of stepping on whoever they have to in order to get to where they want to be. For me doing all the leg work so some other geezer who couldn't be assed to get on a plane to meet a foreign girl could meet her by my bringing her in would suck too badly.

More 'trench' bollox

You are clearly not aware that leave to remain is based on a relationship with the sponsor ... if during the first two years the relationship ends - the sponsor can make the authorities aware that the relationship has ended. Result ? The FSU partner is on their way back 'home' - unless they can demonstrate unreasonable behaviour - in the form of physical violence / intimidation / mental torture and the like...

The process to get a (pre) marital visa - getting married in the UK -  is akin to a standard tourist visa.. the process to get formal leave to remain is MUCH more rigorous - hardly similar

[Nightwish]

Visa costs near £200 each time, a multi visa entry would save on doing it a lot if frequently travelling but one off cost would go up and then they would want to know why, etc. The visa form is not a joy for brits to fill out to go to Russia, lots of long pointless sections to fill in with irrelevant data. Kyn rushing back for 'work commitments' is pretty silly as he no doubt just spent a lot on a visa which he barely got any use out off. That is before higher cost of accommodation in Moscow compared to somewhere like Kiev is taken into account, need to get visiting stamp from hotel or wherever etc. If Kyn lives in London getting to the visa centre is not too bad but if you live outside it is a pain in the rear. Also the courier company the London (Russian) visa centre uses is a pain in the rear, they are cr*p at getting your passport back to you, I literally had to turn up to their distribution centre to retrieve it to avoid an even bigger delivery ordeal.

I will refrain from what I was thinking of replying at first, but anyway.
Yes it might be a small hassle to get a Visa, and a Multivisa might cost a few bucks more, but getting one is REALLY easy, I went to the visa center, asked them about the multiple visa, they asked why, I said I am visiting a lady this time and doing some touristy stuff and hoping to go back many times, and they said more or less.. wonderful, welcome to Russia!

and about the money, yes it was a few bucks more, but really no big deal, have you even checked this to back up your statement?
well we all know you think you are being scammed by the Russians also in this, everything is a conspiracy to take all your money all the time .. maybe not all see it that way

[msmob]

Visa costs near £200 each time, a multi visa entry would save on doing it a lot if frequently travelling but one off cost would go up and then they would want to know why, etc. The visa form is not a joy for brits to fill out to go to Russia, lots of long pointless sections to fill in with irrelevant data.

A single entry Tourist visa costs just over £115 ... You cannot GET a m/entry tourist visa - just a double entry - at which point you're better off getting a biz visa, anyway...


The form is only a 'pain' re the Tourist Voucher / Biz invitation - helps one learn the Cyrillic characters

Save you previous applications as a pdf and the next one's are a doddle

Kyn rushing back for 'work commitments' is pretty silly as he no doubt just spent a lot on a visa which he barely got any use out off. That is before higher cost of accommodation in Moscow compared to somewhere like Kiev is taken into account, need to get visiting stamp from hotel or wherever etc. If Kyn lives in London getting to the visa centre is not too bad but if you live outside it is a pain in the rear. Also the courier company the London (Russian) visa centre uses is a pain in the rear, they are cr*p at getting your passport back to you, I literally had to turn up to their distribution centre to retrieve it to avoid an even bigger delivery ordeal.

Sighs - we do not know Kyn's reasons / circumstances - everything is cost with you... I searched for a FSU partner based on them - not where they lived...

It's STILL 'Kyiv' - ( Kiev is the RUSSIAN translit spelling format ) do check the UK Foreign and Commonwealth site re Ukraine ..

I go to Manchester - even though London is nearer ... Edinburgh and Manchester are smaller and v. friendly... the agent being behind glass ( London)  is a little formal

DX Couriers are used by VFS Global and I have had many more visas than you and NEVER had an issue .. yet

[Nightwish]

A single entry Tourist visa costs just over £115 ... You cannot GET a m/entry tourist visa - just a double entry - at which point you're better off getting a biz visa, anyway...

The form is only a 'pain' re the Tourist Voucher / Biz invitation - helps one learn the Cyrillic characters

Save you previous applications as a pdf and the next one's are a doddle


Sighs - we do not know Kyn's reasons / circumstances - everything is cost with you... I searched for a FSU partner based on them - not where they lived...

It's STILL 'Kyiv' - ( Kiev is the RUSSIAN translit spelling format ) do check the UK Foreign and Commonwealth site re Ukraine ..

I go to Manchester - even though London is nearer ... Edinburgh and Manchester are smaller and v. friendly... the agent being behind glass ( London)  is a little formal

DX Couriers are used by VFS Global and I have had many more visas than you and NEVER had an issue .. yet

That's special for UK?

[Trenchcoat]

DX Couriers are used by VFS Global and I have had many more visas than you and NEVER had an issue .. yet

Really well for me DX courier just ran up to my front door bunged a 'missed you' delivery card through the door without even knocking and ran off up the drive. Then I find out that I can only rebook on a computer system for the same cr*p service to happen again to me. Hence why I went to collect my passport from their depot. If you look up reviews for them on Google you'll find few have much good to say about them.  Why they can't use a mainstream courier service as I thought they were going to use I don't know.

[Trenchcoat]

A single entry Tourist visa costs just over £115 ... You cannot GET a m/entry tourist visa - just a double entry - at which point you're better off getting a biz visa, anyway...


The form is only a 'pain' re the Tourist Voucher / Biz invitation - helps one learn the Cyrillic characters

And where pray tell are we supposed to get a business invitation from in Russia?

[BdHvA]

Krynrazor,

Try to spend more nose to nose time with young lady in question, preferably on her home turf.

Time will tell if she is the real deal. I would remind you the dating pool for attractive and reasonably well off humans in Moscow is deep. She might wish to test you and you vice versa.

Let us know the results and reality.

[Anotherkiwi]

And where pray tell are we supposed to get a business invitation from in Russia?

For crying out loud!  Use Google!!!  How the hell do you think most of us got business visas for Russia?

[msmob]

That's special for UK?

'special'   ..I read US citizens could get 3 year visas ... 

And where pray tell are we supposed to get a business invitation from in Russia?

http://invitationtorussia.co.uk/

Not expensive - you'll like that and in my experience - reliable.

[Trenchcoat]

For crying out loud!  Use Google!!!  How the hell do you think most of us got business visas for Russia?

I just assumed others just either did it on short stays, came from countries with more preferential visa regimes with Russia than UK or were actually businessmen. Seems all a lot of silly carry on to have this requirement then some company just provides a work around for it, lol. Why countries that aren't well disposed diplomatically towards each other can't accept it's citizens are going to want to visit each others country for a reasonable time and make allowance accordingly rather than have all this circus act I don't know.

[Trenchcoat]

'special'   ..I read US citizens could get 3 year visas ... 

http://invitationtorussia.co.uk/

Not expensive - you'll like that and in my experience - reliable.

Thanks Mobe most appreciate it Well it all adds up but think it could pay off better than Ukraine by paying a bit extra as I think Ukraine has a lot of girls with less than admirable motivations for getting with a westerner and as said before I fear I would be wallowing in a sea of bad girls trying to find the one decent one. Many thanks

[msmob]

Thanks Mobe most appreciate it Well it all adds up

Welcome

Now you are 'at it AGAIN ..((

but think it could pay off better than Ukraine by paying a bit extra as I think Ukraine has a lot of girls with less than admirable motivations for getting with a westerner and as said before I fear I would be wallowing in a sea of bad girls trying to find the one decent one. Many thanks

Newsflash: Up until a generation ago - and even after - they mixed freely and inter-married.

The  main differences are:

1/ Cheapskates don't want to pay for visas / 'fear' the system for RU / and Belarus - so

2/ there are less guys  from the west  visiting  - meaning less of an industry around parting money from fools 

3/ ladies don't have so many potential suitors

[Trenchcoat]

Welcome

Now you are 'at it AGAIN ..((


Newsflash: Up until a generation ago - and even after - they mixed freely and inter-married.

The  main differences are:

1/ Cheapskates don't want to pay for visas / 'fear' the system for RU / and Belarus - so

2/ there are less guys  from the west  visiting  - meaning less of an industry around parting money from fools 

3/ ladies don't have so many potential suitors

Think that's correct and also as someone stated on here not long ago Ukraine was the place where the PPL/Scamming Industry was biggest. Since then its all moved on a bit but a lot of attitudes and ways of seeing WM as mugs has remained so whether its a shopping purchase, free meal, expensive taxi ride from a friend/relative, etc its all seen as fair game by many Ukrainians. I do find many Ukrainian girls kind of pretty though and Russian girls I'm not so sure but no doubt could find a nice one if I scout around at least they are thin also