How important is it for her to Speak English

[Bruno]

I have only dated women that speak english so that is why I asked.  When I go out on a date I can see where things are going pretty quickly after talking to her.  It would seem to me that it would take a lot longer when there is no common language.  Is the extra time worth it compared to just finding a woman that you can communicate with from the start?

Tbelknap, i am from Europa and this can maybe make the difference between me and a US citizen... Europa is maybe now a political union but at the level of people, we have several different language and culture... when you have a country like Belgium, with a population around the same side of Moscow, with already 3 different culture and language ( French, Dutch, German ), with foreign country within a range that you can make in one hour with car... in so case, marriage with foreign women is something who is not usual... from when we was young, we have learn to deal with people not speaking our language, have a different cultural background...

I only speak French, Dutch and English but i have date women from France, Spain, Italy, Nordway, Sweden, Russia, Ukraine, Moldova, Germany, USA, etc ... language was never aproblem for encounter or short term relationship... but once it was time to speak serious subject over the relation, some misunderstanding have almost always lead to problem... Since the majority of people here seek a very long term relationship ( marriage ), a minimum of common language is needed... Without a minimum common language, you can build a relation, enjoy sex, enjoy a meeting or stay but it will be very difficult to build a long term relationship...

I don't really take care of the initial level of language of a woman... what count for me is her wish, capacity to learn, to adapt to the culture of her future husband... I am from a little country almost unknow, and i really don't expect that a women will know the Dutch language before we know each other... If she seek really love, she don't know from what country it will be coming... when a lady seek only American and know almost perfectly English, i will question the motive... Do she will marry the American for love of for his country, is it some hidden agenda ?

A lot will not agree but USA men are not so much good ready to cross cultural/language relation that european people... seek all forum and you will see that the majority of men who know problem are from America... of course, i am the case ( exception ) who confirm the rule  ... i have my share of stupidity in my past problem with RW... but i am lucky, i have learn... i think 

[BC]

I guess what Bruno is trying to say is that if you applied for your first passport to chase a RW then you're probably already knee deep in muck..

[Bruno]

I guess what Bruno is trying to say is that if you applied for your first passport to chase a RW then you're probably already knee deep in muck..

Yes, something like this...

It is possible to chase a foreign women without common language IF you have already some experience of it... and when i speak of experience, it is not a few week dating foreign women... i speak about 10 year and more... IF you have a full knowledge of the cultural background of the lady country, it can luck... BUT in any case, it will be good for short term relationship ( week or month, maybe a few year ) but not for a lifetime relationship.

I can now see the huge difference between my first russian wife ( very basic common French ) and my actual girlfriend ( she is better that me in English )... in a few week, i have better know my actual girlfriend that my ex-wife in 5 year of living in Belgium...

A few year ago, i have maybe say to the JB, KenC and other that they was wrong about language... i was in these time able to date without problem... but now, i know that a healthy long term relationship is not possible without a common language... at the limit, it is possible with very hard work and time, a lot of time... like Michael who now stay a very long time with her girl before the final commitment, like Leslie who have take time and where both have learn partialy the language of other, like shadow livingtogether with her girl in Holland but not yet married... the lack of language need to be replace by something other... usualy time... a lot of time...

And like say BC, if you have never go out your town, the first foreign encounter can be lead to problem... And when i think about the BC situation : a American man married to a Ukrainian woman, living in Italy... how much people will be able to make the adaptation like him and her... very few i think !!! BC is the best example of language/ culture adaptation here... this remember me that with these very hot weather in Belgium, i miss the Italian Gelateria, the best in the world 

[andrewfi]

I am wondering of the people that date women with little to no english capabilities, how long does it take to figure out if she is not a good fit with you?

At about the same time that a divorce seems to be the best outcome.

I see it like this.

Imagine a car, going along the road, with no driver. From the perspective of all around, the car is going fine, no problems... Until it hits another car, or goes off the road. Then we see there was no driver and say 'my god, how could it go for so long without a driver?'

Some will crash within a few minutes, some may be years, but as the partners learn more about each other the lack of a driver will become more and more obvious. Some will say 'a car without a driver will crash', others will say 'everything is OK it has not crashed yet'. The former can not convince the latter that their point of view is misguided, because everything is OK and the latter will say 'even a car with a driver can crash, so what is the difference?'

[Turboguy]

With Russian drivers I think it might be safer with no one at the wheel. 

As far as when you are seeing a woman with no English how long does it take to figure out she is not the woman for you.   I have had that happen a number of times and I would say usually anywhere from an hour or two to a few days.   Now when I meet a gal with English sometimes it can be less than an hour and usually within a few days.

[PeeWee]

I don't question your logic Ken, but perhaps when we figure out why I am willing to push the envelope we can then find out why people want to climb Mt Everest or fly a Mig at Mach 3.   It seems to me that you pushed the envelope yoursef a bit, perhaps not as far as you think I do but if the truth were known you may find I push it less than you think.   If everyone wanted a safe route would any of us be chasing women from the FSU

When you are ready for it, Turbodude, I have the line on the MiG for you. The barf bag is on me. I have always been the risk taker all of this fits me like a glove.

Peewee

[Turboguy]

It will be a piece of cake PeeWee.  Not at all as challenging as chasing after young gals with no English and no high status job.

[beattledog]

Communication is the key to all good relationshiips.   It is important that both people can speak a common language

beattledog

[wiz]

It will be a piece of cake PeeWee.  Not at all as challenging as chasing after young gals with no English and no high status job.

I have posted this on another thread but I think is also appropriate for here too!

If you have the need to use an interpreter to communicate with your prospective new partner then you will never experience the real feelings of courting and chasing a woman and I don't think you will ever have a personal close satisfied relationsship.

The whole thing is nothing more than a business transaction!

Using the Internet and the marriage or dating agencies to get in touch with a woman, is OK by me, but to conduct your private life via an interpreter I find it ridiculus.

Is no different from buying a horse, dog or a donkey!

I bet the success rate of such transactions is extremely low! This board is full of such failed examples.

Chasing an FSU woman should not be much different than chasing a Western one!

[Turboguy]

I am sure the world as well as the board is full of failures because of communication problems.   As near as I can tell the world is also full of successes despite lack of a common language. 

I have to agree it is far more desirable to look for a gal who speaks English.  I will also say the challenges for a guy who attempts a relationship with a gal who speak little or no English are going to be much greater.  I think there are a lot of people who should not even consider it.  I still believe that if two people want something bad enough and are willing to work at it, language is just a barrier to overcome.

Frankly I was married to a gal for a long time who spoke perfect English but the communication was worse then if she did not know a word.  At least if she had spoken no English, there would have been an excuse and I could have accepted it much better than to realize that I was the guy who mowed the grass and brought home the paycheck and otherwise I didn't exist.

[PeeWee]

I am sure the world as well as the board is full of failures because of communication problems.   As near as I can tell the world is also full of successes despite lack of a common language. 

I have to agree it is far more desirable to look for a gal who speaks English.  I will also say the challenges for a guy who attempts a relationship with a gal who speak little or no English are going to be much greater.  I think there are a lot of people who should not even consider it.  I still believe that if two people want something bad enough and are willing to work at it, language is just a barrier to overcome.

Frankly I was married to a gal for a long time who spoke perfect English but the communication was worse then if she did not know a word.  At least if she had spoken no English, there would have been an excuse and I could have accepted it much better than to realize that I was the guy who mowed the grass and brought home the paycheck and otherwise I didn't exist.

I am all for making any process easier than it can be. I think it better as well if there is a common language between the two. I have a friend who was an interpreter for a General in Korea. My friend was taught to speak, read, and write both Japanese and Korean. Where I am going with this is that the US Army thought that it was important enough for the General to know was was being said that they gave him an interpreter, rather then leave him to to trying to comminicate with his Korean counterparts via his own devices.

Yesterday, my lady, told me that the English professor from the university came to her clinic for treatment. They were discussing English. I can understand her in conversation but the professor thought her English skill deplorable. They have agreed to meet for lessons. I will be interested to note her progress.

Peewee

[beattledog]

we are buying a horse, cow , or donkey, but marrying the woman that we love and cherrish with all our hearts

beattledog

[wiz]

we are buying a horse, cow , or donkey, but marrying the woman that we love and cherrish with all our hearts

beattledog

Ukrainian beattledog

I would suggest that you learn first how to read English a little better before posting your one liner wisdom!

Before I hear you complaining just go back and read what other people asked you to do before!

If you want to participate on the board then better start reading ........

[PeeWee]

Ukrainian beattledog

I would suggest that you learn first how to read English a little better before posting your one liner wisdom!

Before I hear you complaining just go back and read what other people asked you to do before!

If you want to participate on the board then better start reading ........

So, Wizzer, are not you, the horse, dog, donkey, and UW not heading for Greece soon? How long in country?

Peewee

[wiz]

So, Wizzer, are not you, the horse, dog, donkey, and UW not heading for Greece soon? How long in country?

Peewee

Have you been drinking?????? LOL

Sorry can't understand what are you talking about?

It is RW and we are flying to Corfu on the 11 August for a 7 day holiday. It is our second meeting!

[PeeWee]

Have you been drinking?????? LOL

Sorry can't understand what are you talking about?

It is RW and we are flying to Corfu on the 11 August for a 7 day holiday. It is our second meeting!

you are departing 3 days in advance of me. Me 14 August to 23 August. We can vacation together in different places.

Peewee

[Turboguy]

It sounds like the best vacation the two of you could possibly have.

[Bruno]

Ukrainian beattledog

Why Ukrainian ? The local time zone of beattledog is -6 hours when compare to me... Ukraine is +1 hours... it seem to me that these beattledog is American 

[Oiler]

Is this kind of a loaded poll question? 

Maybe you both speak Japanese or German (which can be likely) in which case English is not important at all!   

Of course for people with English as a 1st language it is vastly important that the RW speask it. Maybe not at 1st but she must show a willingness to learn. There are ethnic groups in the country that can never speak good English and be perfectly at home in their own enclaves. This is not the life for a young RW though I suspect. She would want to open new vistas and grow.

My 2 kopecs.

Donald

[TexasBoar]

English skills are no guarantee of communication, of course.

Years ago I dated, rather seriously and for about two years, a lovely Basque woman from Mexico City, who had immigrated, married, and then divorced.  Her English was impeccable, aside from some difficulties with tenses and -ed endings, but communications between us hit some rocky shoals early on because I habitually overestimated her knowledge---I'm used to "reading between the lines" and looking for hints, clues, subtleties, and allusions in what people say (curse of the MFA).

So, she'd speak very literally, and I'd ponder what she really  meant.

I'd speak metaphorically, and she'd take me literally.

Lotta fights over that.  I think a little less English on her part might've been better, actually . . . I would've been less inclined to misinterpret. 

Guess that'd be my two . . . centavos? 

~Boar

[Turboguy]

Good point Donald.  If we start getting a lot of people posting here in Japanese, I will start a new poll and see how they feel.

Good point Boar,  I can not really tell as much about a woman from what she says as I can from observing her actions.   People tend to tell you what they think you want to hear, particularly in a situation like we encounter. 

[Oiler]

Also even if a RW speaks good English she may not understand the slang and ever changing idioms. It takes time even for a foreign English speaker to get up to speed so it is that much more difficult for a beginner in English.

[PeeWee]

Also even if a RW speaks good English she may not understand the slang and ever changing idioms. It takes time even for a foreign English speaker to get up to speed so it is that much more difficult for a beginner in English.

I have been teaching her a few words in Ebonics. I don't know much mind you. To date, as with most all Rw, she does have the accent except when I teach her some of the great movie lines. She does, "I'll be back." complete with Arnold accent. She also has, "See ya later, Alligator," and "See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya!" down. I have also begun teaching her about the NFL because I would hate to have a woman arrive in the US mid season and not be up to speed on at least the basics of the game. So I have sent to her various photos of my favorite players. There is so much for her to learn and so little time for me to teach it.

Peewee

[Turboguy]

If I was doing that with the photos of the players I think I would just send photos of the ref's from the last super bowl instead. 

[wiz]

I am sure the world as well as the board is full of failures because of communication problems.   

I have to agree it is far more desirable to look for a gal who speaks English.  I will also say the challenges for a guy who attempts a relationship with a gal who speak little or no English are going to be much greater.  I think there are a lot of people who should not even consider it.  I still believe that if two people want something bad enough and are willing to work at it, language is just a barrier to overcome.

Frankly I was married to a gal for a long time who spoke perfect English but the communication was worse then if she did not know a word.  At least if she had spoken no English, there would have been an excuse and I could have accepted it much better than to realize that I was the guy who mowed the grass and brought home the paycheck and otherwise I didn't exist.

Turbo

Somebody has accused you in the past that you forget what you write, as the thread expands.......and then contradict your self.

Check what you wrote above and later today you contradict yourself.

It makes no difference what language is used to communicate if both persons can speak it well.

For us living in an English speaking country we prefer that the woman speaks good English.

The problem arises when the woman and the man have NO common language to communicate and they have to use a translator.

Finally makes no difference what language you use to speak to each other and if there is NO good communication between the partners then the relationship of course will go wrong.

As the Texasboar said: "English skills are no guarantee of communication, of course."
and I agree with him!