Trip Report: 2 weeks in Moscow/Sochi

[tim 360]

Even before cleaning up Times Square it was safer than many cities I have been to.  I am referring to Manhattan which I never found to be unsafe and I spent a good 10 years there.  I have been in far scarier cities than New York City. 

[groovlstk]

Elena & Ken,

Thanks for your good wishes! If you guys ever wander towards NYC, the beer's on me!

Billy,

I hope you didn't have to endure the fetus exhibit

[groovlstk]

Part IX

I climbed up from the tracks to the platform, and if the people waiting for the next train thought it was odd, they didn't give me a second glance. Irina was nowhere to be found, so I leaned against a fence and debated what I should do next. Of course the logical thing would be to sit down and wait for her, but come hell or high water I'm not the passive sort so I set off in the direction of her flat, a five-minute walk. As I approached her building, I noticed an enormous Doberman, much bigger than Chuck and easily 1/2 my height charging at me like I was a steak dinner. Could this day get any worse?!?!? I remember seeing this dog earlier while walking with Irina and Chuck and Irina explained to me that he's Chuck's pal. I stopped and waited as calmly as I could, knowing that showing fear to an aggressive dog was a big mistake. Whew, I thanked God when Marmaduke blew right past me, in search of God knows what. I briefly thought that maybe he saw me with Chuck so I had some street cred.

When I arrived at Irina's building I waited outside the entrance until someone exited (since the door is locked, of course) then took the elevator up to her floor. One of the strange things I noticed about many apartment buildings in Russia and Ukraine is that if there are two elevators, each elevator serves a different side of the building, and you can't cross sides. Irina lives in a 25-story building, each floor houses six apartments, three of which are accessible from each elevator bank.

As soon as I approached the leather-padded entrance door, Chuck howled and I knew he was running up and down the hallway inside. There were two doorbells and I wasn't sure which was for Irina's flat, so I sheepishly rang both. A few minutes later Irina's dad opened the doors and came out. He gave me a big handshake and I asked "Irina?" and pointed inside the flat. "Da da," he said and he then walked to the nearby shared balcony to have a smoke. Chuck ran to me and I gave him a hug, and as preoccupied as I was I thought I could really learn to like this fellow provided he looked beyond his sexual desire for me and learned to appreciate Groov's personality and soul. I looked all over and Irina wasn't there... I headed back out and tried as best I could to explain to Irina's dad what happened, complete with making choo-choo sounds, using two fingers to demonstrate Irina walking away from the elektrichka while I was stuck inside the train, etc. He looked at me like I was a lunatic and I realized it was impossible, so I headed out.

As I neared the path to the elektrichka, I saw Irina approaching. She gave me a big hug and then scolded me. I explained to her that the elektrichka exit was packed, that the many smokers crowding the area between cars where the entrance/exit was were not all that cooperative. I think she initially suspected that I'd caught a taxi back and spent the last hour relaxing at a pub, but I showed her the photo I made as I was walking along the train tracks. She told me that when she realized I hadn't exited the train, she'd grabbed the next train smokin' and searched the first station's platform and nearby markets, cafes, etc., for me, then took another train back in the opposite direction. She didn't spot me walking along the tracks. We were both hungry and thirsty but if we didn't walk Chuck immediately he'd likely leave his calling card in the foyer. As we walked with Chuck in the humidity, the mosquitoes were voracious and seemed to prefer my blood to Irina's. I don't know why, but I seem to draw undesirables. In addition to mosquitoes, I have noted that if someone in a room is smoking, the smoke from their cigarette/pipe/cigar/etc. always chases me around the room. And if there's a crazy person on the subway asking for money to rebuild his spaceship so he can return to his native Mars, I'm the guy in the crowd that he appeals to.

After walking Chuck we stopped at the nearby market and picked up some food. After a quick meal we showered and went to sleep. The next day we planned to visit Irina's mom and stepfather.

[Louie]

Great Story Groov, I really appreciate you sharing it with me\us, and keep up the humor, I really love the Marmaduke crack!!! you had me chuckling pretty good!!

[groovlstk]

Thanks Louie, I don't think anyone under 30 knows who Marmaduke is I used to play ice hockey with a guy who was 6-7, we used to call him Marmaduke and it would piss him off something fierce

[groovlstk]

Part X

Even when I'm exhausted, I don't sleep more than seven hours. Until I hit 40, I could easily sleep until noon or later after a night out; so far the waking up early thing is the only aspect of getting older, besides a better salary, which seems worth a damn. I woke up the next morning around 6AM and strolled to the bathroom. Chuck, wide awake and bored while lying in his padded chair nearby, was apoplectic with excitement, thinking I'd entertain him. Sorry buddy! When I returned to bed he moved close enough so I could scratch his head from time to time while he licked my hand. I looked over at Irina's sleeping form and again I was overwhelmed with a feeling of unreality; how in God's name had this incredibly beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent, and tender woman fallen for a shmuck like me? Several married men here have written that they often experience this feeling even years after marriage, and I hope for me it never fades.

After a breakfast of tea, sweet poppy-seed bread, and some fruit, we were headed to Irina's mom and step-dad's home. They live on the other side of Moscow, near Domodedovo Airport. During the long metro ride, a woman entered our car selling leather man-purses and some sort of portable book light. After the vendor's short demo, Irina talked to the woman and, despite my objections, bought me a second man-purse plus some battery-powered reading light that I'm sure I'll never use. I'm now the proud owner of two man-purses! (If you're in the market for a man-purse, PM me, I promise to give you a good deal.) I could have probably nixed the sale if I was more aggressive, but I'd learned never to let practicality trump good will when with a Russian woman. I was surprised to see that many of the other metro riders bought book lights (only a few invested in man-purses), because in my experience on the NYC subway most people ignore vendors, and for good reason. It takes only one purchase of an expired pack of discounted Duracell batteries or a umbrella that will turn inside out if you cough on it to learn never to invest in such again.

When we exited the metro station, Irina's sis Natasha phoned her, and they had a heated discussion. It turns out that Natasha's husband's mom was on her deathbed, and he had flown immediately to Belarus to be with her. Instead of meeting us for dinner, Natasha decided to use this opportunity to spend a few days with her lover. Irina was livid with her. She believes Natasha's husband is daft but he's a decent man and this was a grave insult to him, considering what he was going through.

After a marshrutka ride and long walk we arrived at our destination. Her parents live in a suburban area that is an odd mix of well-kept homes and ramshackle huts. I'd been there before in May and now everything looked much better with such lush green trees and grass. Irina's step-dad explained to me that during Soviet times, oil workers in Moscow were given 30x30 meter plots by the government in this neighborhood.

I was happy to see Irina's mom and stepdad again. They have a beautiful garden in their yard, complete with goldfish pond, and their home is one of the area's nicest.

http://home.comcast.net/~marka136/home.jpg

Irina proudly showed them her ring; it's funny because she refuses to call the stones "diamonds," to her they are "brilliants." We had wine and salad made from fresh veggies from their garden, and sashlik made from pork and beef. After lunch Irina's stepdad wanted to show us the new home he was having built. Their new home is about 1/2 kilometer away and about 3/4 finished. It's much bigger and statelier than their current home. Irina later explained to me that her mom and stepdad were going to settle in this home and rent out their other house as well as their apartment in Moscow's city center. 

The reality that my trip was drawing to a close hit me on the long metro ride home. The next morning I was scheduled to fly home.

[BC]

The reality that my trip was drawing to a close hit me on the long metro ride home. The next morning I was scheduled to fly home.

Ain't that a sh!tty feeling....

Love following your adventures.. almost feels like you are there.

[Rattlehead]

Stories like this are wonderfully encouraging and inspiring.  Even if I had to have my heart broken a hundred times to get to a place like this, I would feel like the luckiest man in the universe.  And I agree with the other members, your TR's are wonderfully written.  A pleasure to read.

[Michelangelo]

Part X During the long metro ride, a woman entered our car selling leather man-purses and some sort of portable book light. After the vendor's short demo, Irina talked to the woman and, despite my objections, bought me a second man-purse plus some battery-powered reading light that I'm sure I'll never use. I'm now the proud owner of two man-purses! (If you're in the market for a man-purse, PM me, I promise to give you a good deal.)

Ha!  No thanks, Groov!   I think Moscow girls love these man-purses.  My ex girl from Russia gave me one.

I learned in Spain that no man should ever carry a purse.  Four guys attacked me.  The second one managed to wrestle my "purse" free.  My current girl was with me, and agrees I should never carry a man-purse again.  Hope you can get rid of yours in a less painful manner!

Congrats on finding your girl, Groov.  Best wishes to both of you.

[Turboguy]

Humm, might be fun to get one of those man purses to wear around and to fill it with fishing hooks.

[chivo]

All,

Ah yes the "murse" is quite popular here. I for one carry a nice leather case as my necessities require more space.

I don't think I'll be getting one soon either, and along with pink shirts and purple ties, they're just somethings I refuse to adapt to.

heres a little story about it:

http://www.exile.ru/2006-August-11/extreme_murse-over.html

chivo

p.s not to be used outside Russia

[SANDRO43]

Ah yes the "murse" is quite popular here.

Curious comeback. Almost every male used to have it here in Italy in the 1970s (we called it borsello, as opposed to borsetta for female handbags), then it gradually disappeared from view.

[jb]

Yeah, I remember those little bags from the 70's, the only men in Houston,TX who carried them were transplants from New York City and more than a little lite in the loafers.

I still think the idea of a man carrying a purse is really queer.

[Bruce]

JB, I'm suprised those transplants weren't chained up, tied to the back of pickup trucks and dragged for a mile or two........................  I have a feeling some of them may actually have fled from other places.
Yep, purses, ear rings - all the signs of a queer.

[Michelangelo]

Curious comeback. Almost every male used to have it here in Italy in the 1970s (we called it borsello, as opposed to borsetta for female handbags), then it gradully disappeared from view.

The Russian girl who gave me mine called it a borselett, or something like that...

[SANDRO43]

I still think the idea of a man carrying a purse is really queer.

Well, I did divorce in 1976, but that was not the reason. And I had already quit carrying the damn thing, it was too inconvenient when also wearing a miniskirt and high heels .

[groovlstk]

Bruce, Chivo, JB, Michael...

You guys aren't helping my case here! Any guy making his first trip to Russia would impress his lass when she sees him clearing customs while boldly clutching his fashionable man-purse. I have two such models available, one in rich black leather and the other in khaki green. And I'm willing to pay for shipping.

And handling.

[Louie]

I don't know about you guy's but even when the little lady hands me  her purse to hold for a few minutes, to try something on in a store I break out in a cold sweat, head quickly darting from side to side to see how many people notice the PW'ed man in front of the changing booth!

[catzenmouse]

I don't know about you guy's but even when the little lady hands me hold her purse to hold for a few minutes, to try something on in a store I break out in a cold sweat, head quickly darting from side to side to see how many people notice the PW'ed man in front of the changing booth!

Louie,

 You just gotta go with the flow... Think pinks and pastels, think of how beautiful and feminine you are, think about how much you want those high heels to go on sale... 

Ken

[groovlstk]

I don't know about you guy's but even when the little lady hands me hold her purse to hold for a few minutes, to try something on in a store I break out in a cold sweat, head quickly darting from side to side to see how many people notice the PW'ed man in front of the changing booth!

A year ago last July I was in Kiev with a girl I was seeing. She had her "red days" and visited a shop near Independence Square. She bought a big box of Tampax tampons and, of course, didn't bother getting a bag for it because the shop owners in Ukraine and Russia often charge extra for bags. At some point she wandered off to another shop for a few minutes after transferring ownership of the box to me. The ten minutes I waited for her to return were the longest in my life, I wanted to crawl into a sewar and hide.

[BC]

Ahh Groovlstk.. next time don't sweat it.. this is the oldest trick in the book.. consider it nothing but a big 'this guy is taken' sign..  wear it proudly.

Get used to it as it will often be on your 'on your way home' shopping list.

Quite 'normalna'

[Moscvichka]

 
Hello.
 First, I am sorry for my bad English. But I hope, that I can write so that it was clear. I read your posts and I should comment. Please excuse, if my statements can offend someone from you.
 Believe me, many problems will begin after your girl will arrive to live in America. The majority of Russians have absolutely wrong  imagination about a life in America. It will be better if your girl lives in the Russian province, instead of in the big city as Moscow.You will be upset when ou see her disappointment in America especially if you live in small American city or village. I have read many such sad stories at Russian forums. Girls hope that all their problems will be solved in the magic image when they will arrive to America. They think that the fantastic life waits them there.
They  assured that they can't have any monetary problems in America, they do not understand that such taxes in America and how many money remains after payment of taxes. They do not know that the majority of Americans try to save money and also buy all on credit. Marriages with the big difference age can be a huge problem too. Only very provided Russian men presume to have  very young wife. But provided Russian it really very rich person. But if you think, that you are older than the wife for 15 or 25 years and it is ok because your wife is Russian ... you are mistaken. YOU will understand it very soon if you cannot give the Russian wife very provided life.
of course, if you found the Russian wife from village or very small small town where terrible poverty you have more chances of her gratitude. I  HOPE has not offended anybody. But know, that many many girls on russiun- american forums write as they are disappointed in marriages with the big difference age and especially if they live in the American province.

[Rattlehead]

Moscvichka,
   By your name I gather that you are a woman.  You make many good points which we all must be wary of.  You mentioned Russian-American forums where some Russian women in marriages with western men expressed disappointment.  Do some also express more positive feelings on those forums?  Contentment?  Happiness?  There must be some because this whole Russian-Western Marriages industry would have died pretty quickly if no one ever had any success.  Where are these forums?  It would be very helpful to us if we could read the candid thoughts of Russian women, especially those married to, or considering marriage to western men.

--Rat

[SANDRO43]

Hello. First, I am sorry for my bad English.

Moskvichka, since nobody appears to have done so yet, let me welcome you to RWD. It is always interesting to hear the opinions "from the other side", and don't worry about your English, there's even worse here .

You might consider also posting something about yourself in Introductions and Ice-Breaker (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?board=41.0). 

[Moscvichka]

Moscvichka,
   By your name I gather that you are a woman.  You make many good points which we all must be wary of.  You mentioned Russian-American forums where some Russian women in marriages with western men expressed disappointment.  Do some also express more positive feelings on those forums?  Contentment?  Happiness?  There must be some because this whole Russian-Western Marriages industry would have died pretty quickly if no one ever had any success.  Where are these forums?  It would be very helpful to us if we could read the candid thoughts of Russian women, especially those married to, or considering marriage to western men.

--Rat

Not all  is so bad. Women write at these forums, that  the American men  is better than Russian men. They are good  fathers and the devoted husbands. It happens more often than in Russia. But sometimes women irritate when the American husband devotes much time to the children from first marriage. Many women quickly understand that they waited absolutely another things from marriage but do not wish to come back back and suffer before reception of the status. Men, be cautious when you search for too young wife. These wives will see very soon that many single young men are ready to be with them. And it means that you get a divorce.