What might Have Been

[corp]

So there I was back in Kiev after almost two weeks in other parts of Ukraine. This was phase three of my trip. In Kiev, I was to meet a girl from Sumy who I had traded letters with a few times before my trip ... kinda like a "last minute contact" which seemed to have potential.
She was average looking but with a nice personality and seemed very much like the "Girl next door."

I won't bore everyone with the gory details but lets just say, she "bombed out" on me; I had to put her and her 9 yr. daughter (yep ... at the last minute she decided to bring her daughter) back on the train home.
Even thought she did not "look the part" of the "Shopping Girl" she wasted no time trying to corral me into shops to buy new boots and then into an upscale toy store to buy a fifty dollar doll for her daughter, all within the first 30 minutes on the street.
 Okay call me a sap, it was easy to ignore Natalia's suggestions about new boots but when they double teamed me for the doll, I felt a little greedy to turn the child away emplty.

After a moment of silence....I simply told her to find one for $25.00.
I made the purchase, we got lunch and then I faked a phone call and told her I had to return home early, some problem at work.
I didn't know what else to do, there was no sense to burn up another 3 or 4 days with this dead end situation, so I gave her a few bucks for the train and that was the last I saw of her.

 Natalia really surprised me, while I was prepared for the chance we might be no match for each other, I did not expect it to end like this and so soon. I hadn't even bother to set up any real back up plans for the Kiev area so now I had a few empty on my hands.

First thing I did was go to the I-cafe, and comb through two sites I use and sent out about ten or twenty letters to ladies from Kiev hoping one will get it and respond in time.
I actually got a few replies the next day, one Black haired chick wanted to meet me but insisted that I pick her up at her house. I tried to explain (from a phone booth) that I don't know enough Russian hear clearly the address she was trying to give me... Perhaps we can meet some where? She said "sorry those are my laws." So I dropped her, I have "laws" too, such as never get involved with a demanding B#tch.

Two other girls emailed me their phone number but then didn't answered either my call nor SMS?
Finally another girl SMS me, I called her back and Shazam we had a date!
She had very good English, we decide to meet at McDonalds (not to eat) by Metro. I had no Idea which girl she even was and I hoped I would recognize her. She was late but finally arrived and turned out to be very attractive. Small, thin with red hair, green eyes and perfect eye brows and lips. We walked up the street next to McDonalds to one of the cafes where we had coffee, desert and conversation. She tutors English and does some interp work as well.
Right away I felt really relaxed with her, but I could tell she was not my type, she seemed jaded and cynical. I had a little fun with this part of her personality because we actually did communicate well but we ended up talking, then parting ways.

Well even though all my prospects seem to have gone up in smoke,
 I never quit swinging until the bell rings!
I went to Kiev connections and picked out a few possible ladies, we made the calls only to discover one was already married and the other two were not available at such short notice. I admit I was limited because I wanted someone who did not need an interpreter so then we called on one more lady, she said she could be there in an hour.
She arrived even sooner and looked like her pictures plus a few years but what's new there?
Her and I walked to a Ukraine Restaurant she knew of, it was kind like a buffet type place. She was a very nice lady but clearly she was a "wine and cheese crowd" type person, but I don't mean that insultingly, she was not standoffish at all, just not a match for me.

So this was another swing of the bat ..... hitting "all air".

Apparently; even though I had a good time and some success in other parts of Ukraine (not a home run mind you) it appeared my time in Kiev was destined go out with a whimper.

My last day in Kiev I am walking through the underground. I see a lady working in a shop, I actually noticed her the day before and I turned around to get a second look.
This rarely ever happens to me but every once in a while, I will see someone and just from looking at them alone they seem like they would be the absolute Ideal person for me.
It is not so much about stunning apearance, it goes to a differnt level somehow.... and not that i am assigning it "soul mate" status or any such B.S., i'm just saying there is a instant magnetic connection; of course it is physical but along with it is this sence that person could be "The One".
Well, there she was standing in the shop.
I decide to walk in and get a "closer look."
She looks every bit as attractive up close as she does at a distance, I ask her about one of her products, she speaks a little English too, I am impressed, I found most girls that work in shops will not even try to work through the language barrier when you ask a question. (at least the hourly workers)
Between her English and my Russian we are communicating on a basic level.
Her name is Natalya, soon I shift from "product talk" to more personal questions. She tells me Her son is taking English lessons and this is where she learned English. I find that impressive. I see no rings on her fingers either.

Her blue eyes are looking right inside me as she struggles to find the correct English words to use.
Soon I feel a little awkward as other customers are gathering so I tell her it was nice to meet her and say good-bye.
Wow she seems like such a nice person and to be honest a little out of my league but nothing crazy.
My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon which really doesn't leave many options but I decide to at least see if I can open a door of communication and who knows what might come of it?

I begin to walk quickly up and down through corridors of shops to find a card to give to her. Of course I can't read any of them to know if it is a birthday card or sympathy card so I must find a blank card that I can fill in myself, not an easy task, but finally I find one.
I sit at the coffee bar and write her a short sincere note, of course including my contact info.
 I have never done anything like this before but I feel I have nothing to loose.
With my heart pounding like a schoolboy, I walk back over to her and say hello. I tell her I have something for her and hand her the card, she is a little surprised of course, double checking if it is really for her.
She opens it and sees my writing and then tells me she can't read it, I tell her "it's okay, you read it later."  She thanks me and then I start to feel awkward again, what is it with this girl, I never feel awkward around anyone ... ever! I was so focused on giving her the card, with that now out of the way I am at a loss for words. Did I mention the part where I feel like a shy school boy?
As customers come in, I excuse myself.
Now, I feel I have at least reached out to her and if she is interested she can contact me.
 
Later on in the day, I decide to go back by there to see what her reaction is to the card I gave her, I am sure she has understood most of it by now. She is in the both next to hers, talking to another lady. I approach her and right away she gets up and walks over to me. I ask if she read the card and she says yes, I tell her I would like to get to know her. She looks at me and tells me she has family here and a son, I assure her I understand that but suggest we just get to know each other and we can see where it goes.
 I ask if she uses the Internet and she says no. She asks how long I will be in Kiev and when I tell her I leave tomorrow she looks a little disappointed, Then guiding me into her booth, she takes out her purse and finds a business card which has the phone number to her work on it, she says I can call her. Also there is some type of business e-mail address on there.
Well that's a good sign right? I thank her for the card and then ask her if she would like to get coffee after she finishes work, she says she must get home to her son.
The part of my brain which usually flows with conversation is seizing up again so I tell her I will write her and then leave.
Q: Why do I keep leaving this lady?
A: I don't know but it's a good question.

It's already getting late so I walk back to my flat over by the sports stadium and call it a night.
I pack my bag, clean the kitchen and get ready to head to the airport in the morning.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am just not cut out for this type of whirlwind romance. Even though I always have a good time when I travel and I have met some really nice girls, I never seem to be tempted to be a one-week-wonder. Perhaps I am too calculating or cautious. whatever it is.... up until meeting Nataly in the Underground, I never got that
"instant" attraction to any girl, even though some who were pretty good looking and very nice as well.
So as I lay on my fold out bed staring at the smooth cement ceiling, I began to wonder if maybe ... just maybe my "ship had come in"?

Well as it turned out, I wrote to Nataly on the Email address and I waited and waited, finally after a week or ten days, I decided to try to call her. I was hoping we could communicate by letter because even in person it was a struggle to bridge the language hurdle ... on the phone I knew it would be 5X as bad not only that but she would be working which would not be helpful. But what choice did I have, so I called and she answered, I told her I wrote her and she said she did not check yet and that she would do it that week.  Another week went by and still I got no e-mail so I tried to e-mail her again and this time my letter came back with some odd notice account did not exist or expired or something.
As I said it was some company e-mail address and not hers personally.
So I tried to call her again and one of the other ladies working there answered, I tried to ask for Nataly but you can imagine how little, I understood from the answer.
So my flickering candle of "Hope" ... was all but sputtering out.
 I asked someone I knew who lives in Ukraine to call and find out what the deal was, but I don't know if they did or not. I thought about "hiring" someone to call and see if we could not get things on track but she might think that was odd, so now it looks like what seemed to be such a strong possibility, now is Kaput.

I am persuaded to believe she was interested in me somewhat or why would she give me her card?
She truly seemed disappointed when I said my flight leaves the next morning but she also seemed like the type of girl who gave no thought to leaving Ukraine when she spoke of her son and her responsibilities.

So, there you have it ... the one girl I met and instantly felt that "connection" with and I failed to foresee this kind of communication breakdown, I should have had her write out her street address and then, I could have at least known my letter reached her, for all I know when she did check the e-mail, the account was closed and she never got my mail.
But my e-mail address was on the card, if she really wanted to write me she could.

Anyone had a near miss like this before?
Comments and suggestions are welcome.

[Bruno]

Anyone had a near miss like this before?
Comments and suggestions are welcome.

Read my trip report of May 2005 in Nikolaev...

Almost similar situation... problem with the visited woman ( Galina ) and a wonderful last week of stay with Luda ( a shop girl )... unfortunaly, she was not wishing quit the Ukraine and divorce from her husband ( who was not more living with her )...

Simply forget her... and ready yourself for the next trip... and next girl...

[PeeWee]

So there I was back in Kiev after almost two weeks in other parts of Ukraine. This was phase three of my trip. In Kiev, I was to meet a girl from Sumy who I had traded letters with a few times before my trip ... kinda like a "last minute contact" which seemed to have potential.
She was average looking but with a nice personality and seemed very much like the "Girl next door."

I won't bore everyone with the gory details but lets just say, she "bombed out" on me; I had to put her and her 9 yr. daughter (yep ... at the last minute she decided to bring her daughter) back on the train home.
Even thought she did not "look the part" of the "Shopping Girl" she wasted no time trying to corral me into shops to buy new boots and then into an upscale toy store to buy a fifty dollar doll for her daughter, all within the first 30 minutes on the street.
 Okay call me a sap, it was easy to ignore Natalia's suggestions about new boots but when they double teamed me for the doll, I felt a little greedy to turn the child away emplty.

After a moment of silence....I simply told her to find one for $25.00.
I made the purchase, we got lunch and then I faked a phone call and told her I had to return home early, some problem at work.
I didn't know what else to do, there was no sense to burn up another 3 or 4 days with this dead end situation, so I gave her a few bucks for the train and that was the last I saw of her.

 Natalia really surprised me, while I was prepared for the chance we might be no match for each other, I did not expect it to end like this and so soon. I hadn't even bother to set up any real back up plans for the Kiev area so now I had a few empty on my hands.

First thing I did was go to the I-cafe, and comb through two sites I use and sent out about ten or twenty letters to ladies from Kiev hoping one will get it and respond in time.
I actually got a few replies the next day, one Black haired chick wanted to meet me but insisted that I pick her up at her house. I tried to explain (from a phone booth) that I don't know enough Russian hear clearly the address she was trying to give me... Perhaps we can meet some where? She said "sorry those are my laws." So I dropped her, I have "laws" too, such as never get involved with a demanding B#tch.

Two other girls emailed me their phone number but then didn't answered either my call nor SMS?
Finally another girl SMS me, I called her back and Shazam we had a date!
She had very good English, we decide to meet at McDonalds (not to eat) by Metro. I had no Idea which girl she even was and I hoped I would recognize her. She was late but finally arrived and turned out to be very attractive. Small, thin with red hair, green eyes and perfect eye brows and lips. We walked up the street next to McDonalds to one of the cafes where we had coffee, desert and conversation. She tutors English and does some interp work as well.
Right away I felt really relaxed with her, but I could tell she was not my type, she seemed jaded and cynical. I had a little fun with this part of her personality because we actually did communicate well but we ended up talking, then parting ways.

Well even though all my prospects seem to have gone up in smoke,
 I never quit swinging until the bell rings!
I went to Kiev connections and picked out a few possible ladies, we made the calls only to discover one was already married and the other two were not available at such short notice. I admit I was limited because I wanted someone who did not need an interpreter so then we called on one more lady, she said she could be there in an hour.
She arrived even sooner and looked like her pictures plus a few years but what's new there?
Her and I walked to a Ukraine Restaurant she knew of, it was kind like a buffet type place. She was a very nice lady but clearly she was a "wine and cheese crowd" type person, but I don't mean that insultingly, she was not standoffish at all, just not a match for me.

So this was another swing of the bat ..... hitting "all air".

Apparently; even though I had a good time and some success in other parts of Ukraine (not a home run mind you) it appeared my time in Kiev was destined go out with a whimper.

My last day in Kiev I am walking through the underground. I see a lady working in a shop, I actually noticed her the day before and I turned around to get a second look.
This rarely ever happens to me but every once in a while, I will see someone and just from looking at them alone they seem like they would be the absolute Ideal person for me.
It is not so much about stunning apearance, it goes to a differnt level somehow.... and not that i am assigning it "soul mate" status or any such B.S., i'm just saying there is a instant magnetic connection; of course it is physical but along with it is this sence that person could be "The One".
Well, there she was standing in the shop.
I decide to walk in and get a "closer look."
She looks every bit as attractive up close as she does at a distance, I ask her about one of her products, she speaks a little English too, I am impressed, I found most girls that work in shops will not even try to work through the language barrier when you ask a question. (at least the hourly workers)
Between her English and my Russian we are communicating on a basic level.
Her name is Natalya, soon I shift from "product talk" to more personal questions. She tells me Her son is taking English lessons and this is where she learned English. I find that impressive. I see no rings on her fingers either.

Her blue eyes are looking right inside me as she struggles to find the correct English words to use.
Soon I feel a little awkward as other customers are gathering so I tell her it was nice to meet her and say good-bye.
Wow she seems like such a nice person and to be honest a little out of my league but nothing crazy.
My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon which really doesn't leave many options but I decide to at least see if I can open a door of communication and who knows what might come of it?

I begin to walk quickly up and down through corridors of shops to find a card to give to her. Of course I can't read any of them to know if it is a birthday card or sympathy card so I must find a blank card that I can fill in myself, not an easy task, but finally I find one.
I sit at the coffee bar and write her a short sincere note, of course including my contact info.
 I have never done anything like this before but I feel I have nothing to loose.
With my heart pounding like a schoolboy, I walk back over to her and say hello. I tell her I have something for her and hand her the card, she is a little surprised of course, double checking if it is really for her.
She opens it and sees my writing and then tells me she can't read it, I tell her "it's okay, you read it later."  She thanks me and then I start to feel awkward again, what is it with this girl, I never feel awkward around anyone ... ever! I was so focused on giving her the card, with that now out of the way I am at a loss for words. Did I mention the part where I feel like a shy school boy?
As customers come in, I excuse myself.
Now, I feel I have at least reached out to her and if she is interested she can contact me.
 
Later on in the day, I decide to go back by there to see what her reaction is to the card I gave her, I am sure she has understood most of it by now. She is in the both next to hers, talking to another lady. I approach her and right away she gets up and walks over to me. I ask if she read the card and she says yes, I tell her I would like to get to know her. She looks at me and tells me she has family here and a son, I assure her I understand that but suggest we just get to know each other and we can see where it goes.
 I ask if she uses the Internet and she says no. She asks how long I will be in Kiev and when I tell her I leave tomorrow she looks a little disappointed, Then guiding me into her booth, she takes out her purse and finds a business card which has the phone number to her work on it, she says I can call her. Also there is some type of business e-mail address on there.
Well that's a good sign right? I thank her for the card and then ask her if she would like to get coffee after she finishes work, she says she must get home to her son.
The part of my brain which usually flows with conversation is seizing up again so I tell her I will write her and then leave.
Q: Why do I keep leaving this lady?
A: I don't know but it's a good question.

It's already getting late so I walk back to my flat over by the sports stadium and call it a night.
I pack my bag, clean the kitchen and get ready to head to the airport in the morning.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am just not cut out for this type of whirlwind romance. Even though I always have a good time when I travel and I have met some really nice girls, I never seem to be tempted to be a one-week-wonder. Perhaps I am too calculating or cautious. whatever it is.... up until meeting Nataly in the Underground, I never got that
"instant" attraction to any girl, even though some who were pretty good looking and very nice as well.
So as I lay on my fold out bed staring at the smooth cement ceiling, I began to wonder if maybe ... just maybe my "ship had come in"?

Well as it turned out, I wrote to Nataly on the Email address and I waited and waited, finally after a week or ten days, I decided to try to call her. I was hoping we could communicate by letter because even in person it was a struggle to bridge the language hurdle ... on the phone I knew it would be 5X as bad not only that but she would be working which would not be helpful. But what choice did I have, so I called and she answered, I told her I wrote her and she said she did not check yet and that she would do it that week.  Another week went by and still I got no e-mail so I tried to e-mail her again and this time my letter came back with some odd notice account did not exist or expired or something.
As I said it was some company e-mail address and not hers personally.
So I tried to call her again and one of the other ladies working there answered, I tried to ask for Nataly but you can imagine how little, I understood from the answer.
So my flickering candle of "Hope" ... was all but sputtering out.
 I asked someone I knew who lives in Ukraine to call and find out what the deal was, but I don't know if they did or not. I thought about "hiring" someone to call and see if we could not get things on track but she might think that was odd, so now it looks like what seemed to be such a strong possibility, now is Kaput.

I am persuaded to believe she was interested in me somewhat or why would she give me her card?
She truly seemed disappointed when I said my flight leaves the next morning but she also seemed like the type of girl who gave no thought to leaving Ukraine when she spoke of her son and her responsibilities.

So, there you have it ... the one girl I met and instantly felt that "connection" with and I failed to foresee this kind of communication breakdown, I should have had her write out her street address and then, I could have at least known my letter reached her, for all I know when she did check the e-mail, the account was closed and she never got my mail.
But my e-mail address was on the card, if she really wanted to write me she could.

Anyone had a near miss like this before?
Comments and suggestions are welcome.

A somewhat sad story but a great one none the less. I have two vocations that require me to be overtly persistant. If I were you I'd try communicating with her at least two or three more times. Persistance usually wins out in most cases. She seems worth the effort to me.

Hey, Corp, let's change the title of this thread from "What might have been." to "What it could be."  Glass half empty/half full logic.

Peewee

[Bruno]

PeeWee, when you quote in a reply, keep only the relevant part...

You always quote the full original post and make the forum difficult to read... if you continue, i will charge you with the cost of a new mouse for my computer... my scroll wheel begin be used 

[PeeWee]

PeeWee, when you quote in a reply, keep only the relevant part...

You always quote the full original post and make the forum difficult to read... if you continue, i will charge you with the cost of a new mouse for my computer... my scroll wheel begin be used 

What do you calculate that to be? CPS (cost per scroll). or would it be simular to a mileage charge? RPS?  (revolutions per scroll)

Peewee

[Bruno]

What do you calculate that to be? CPS (cost per scroll). or would it be simular to a mileage charge? RPS?  (revolutions per scroll)

I was jooking about the mouse... but not about your method for quote... quote 5 pages of a trip report for add a few lines of your own really don't help for read these forum... and you make it almost all time...

[wiz]

Corp

In Greece we say "Together with the help of Goddess Athena you must move your hand too!"

Basically if you liked this woman so much and definitely you want to get in touch with her why don't you find somebody, who can phone her and try to find out what is going on? He/she can also visit the shop and speak in person if necessary and you can pay for their effort!

What you should not do is DO NOTHING because you will always wonder........if this and that and will blame yourself for ever!

Q Why did she gave you the telephone in the first place?
A Because she wanted you to phone her.

Q. Was the number correct?
A Of course yes because you spoke to her!

Q Why she is not reply now and another person answers?
A. Maybe she works shift days, like many do in Ukraine and has a child, so you were unlucky when you phoned!

Q what next?
A Up to you. If you feel strong about her then chase her!

Advise: Ask Roberto, a member here, who lives in Kiev PRIVATELY if he would not mind making a call.
He may be can do it.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOOSE if she doesn't want to see you or hear from you again?
On the other hand....who knows??????

Good luck

[Gator]

Corp,

You are a romantic!  Nataly is in your head.  It torments you.

There are two ways to get her out of your head:

1.  Agonize about it for a month until you grasp reality.
2.  Call her again, but this time spend a little money and use an interpreter (e. g. Elena H in Oregon).  The interpreter will help ask some probing questions.  The answers will determine whether Nataly was just being friendly, curious and flirtatious, or indeed had some sincere interest in you.   Just remember, most of the above-average RW have boyfriends. They also believe in destiny and dream of finding their "second half" in chance meetings such as the one you had.   Go for it. The worst outcome - peace of mind.  The best outcome ....

[catzenmouse]

Corp,

 I'd say that Gator gives you the best advice you could have right now with the phone call/interpreter. This will truly tell you one way or the other what is going on.

Ken

Corp,

You are a romantic!  Nataly is in your head.  It torments you.

There are two ways to get her out of your head:

1.  Agonize about it for a month until you grasp reality.
2.  Call her again, but this time spend a little money and use an interpreter (e. g. Elena H in Oregon).  The interpreter will help ask some probing questions.  The answers will determine whether Nataly was just being friendly, curious and flirtatious, or indeed had some sincere interest in you.   Just remember, most of the above-average RW have boyfriends. They also believe in destiny and dream of finding their "second half" in chance meetings such as the one you had.   Go for it. The worst outcome - peace of mind.  The best outcome ....

[Bruce]

Corp - those kinds of trips happen sometimes.  If you are really picky and only spend 10 days to two weeks at a time in a country they will happen quite often. 

My advice - do not ever get discouraged and relax.  Go back to Ukraine in the near future (1 to 2 months if possible) and spend a week in Kiev at a minimum.  Tell Nataly the shop girl you will be comming to Ukraine again and very much want to get to know her.  Hire a professional interpreter to call her and explain what your intentions are.  Make sure she will be in town when you are there.  You may get other contact information for her as well. 

Then, scour the websites / your contacts in Ukraine etc. looking for other girls in the event Nataly turns out to still be married with no intentions of ever leaving Ukraine plus other huge negatives that will quickly lead you to determine that you two could not realistically ever make it.  Meet her with an interpreter / guide, quickly make a meeting / date and see where that gets you.  Hope for the best but expect the worst, which is just another girl that was a connection but not girlfriend / potential marriage material down the line. 

Tentatively make plans to visit other cities in Ukraine.  Pursue Nataly until things run their natural course.  Hopefully, you will resolve your idea of Nataly quickly so in the event it is not mean't to go to the girlfriend level you can quickly move on to meeting other women.

Remember, if you relax and keep your wits about you the FSU is a fabulous place for meeting quality women.  Meeting the right woman is the hard part - but very doable with resolve, understanding, calculation and time.

[jb]

Corp,

Don't feel too bad, most of the American ex-pat workers in Russia who wind up married to RWs before they come back home met their wives in exactly the manner in which you were smitten with Natalia.  A simple chance encounter.

It's all good.

[Voyageur]

Corp,

If you still have Nataly in your thoughts, why not hire Pavel (in Kiev) to call her? He is completely trustworthy and will get you an answer. I can PM you with his number, I am sure that others here (like SoC) can give you his number also.

Take a shot...what have you got to lose?

[WmGO]

Corp,

You invited suggerstions, so here is mine:  you should have been straight up with the lady and told her that it was totally inappropriate to try to use you for money in the form of a shopping spree. And you should not have bought the doll for her daughter. You should have told her that her actions revealed her lack of sincere intentions for meeting you and that that was the reason for sending her home. Don't feed these scammers! The more they are fed the more they seek to be fed, not to mention the fact that is is disrespecting oneself to knowingly do so.

WmGO

[David1963]

Hey Corp,

What your lady did with you was what mine did with me but to a lesser extent.  We had spent the day together and at the end of it she hit me up for a $40 doll for her daughter.  BRATZ dolls cost that much there, here they are only about $15.  I had some serious doubts but went ahead and spent it to find out what she was going to be like.  The following day she said she couldn't meet me at the planned noon meeting but would meet me at 3pm.

This is when I called the agency and lined up more ladies to meet, I thought she was not serious and wanted some back-ups.  I think she was a bit greedy and didn't understand if I was serious, other ment hat met her were not serious.

Long story short, we are comming up on our 1 year aniversary and she is deffinately not a shoping girl.

[BC]

I ask if she uses the Internet and she says no. She asks how long I will be in Kiev and when I tell her I leave tomorrow she looks a little disappointed, Then guiding me into her booth, she takes out her purse and finds a business card which has the phone number to her work on it, she says I can call her. Also there is some type of business e-mail address on there.

I remember long ago walking down a street in Germany and a woman coming out of a store dropped something.. I picked it up and gave it back.  It was one of those moments.. eye contact longer than usual, sparks flew as she waiting for the pickup line..  I was too dumbfounded to react properly.

I kicked myself in the butt for months for not asking her out right away..

Never saw her again even though I passed the same area frequently looking for her.

It's that split-second where one should not hesitate..

Luckily, later in life something similar happened and this time I didn't hesitate.. We're happily married today.

History repeats, but it's up to us to make something out of it.

[corp]

Well after letting this situation sit dormant for too long, some of the suggestions offered have inspired me to make another attempt at contacting her.
 One of the main obstacles has been, the only phone number I have is the one to the little shop / booth she works in. To call her via interpreter on a three-way would be awkward since customers come in all the time.
It would be better I think, if I could get someone to either stop by and talk to her or call her and just relay that I am still interested in her and to find out in a more definite way if she is interested and then to work out how we could proceed if she is available and willing.

What I don't want to do is "always wonder" as Wiz, wrote.

[Turboguy]

I have a feeling Pavel would do that for you and if he won't I think the terp I use in Kiev would do it for a very reasonable fee.

[PeeWee]

Well after letting this situation sit dormant for too long, some of the suggestions offered have inspired me to make another attempt at contacting her.
 One of the main obstacles has been, the only phone number I have is the one to the little shop / booth she works in. To call her via interpreter on a three-way would be awkward since customers come in all the time.
It would be better I think, if I could get someone to either stop by and talk to her or call her and just relay that I am still interested in her and to find out in a more definite way if she is interested and then to work out how we could proceed if she is available and willing.

What I don't want to do is "always wonder" as Wiz, wrote.

Turbo had a good idea or why not just have the interpreter call her one on one? Convey your message to her, get a good phone contact for you, a good email address, and then regroup from there. This way you will not have to think about the pit falls of the three way conversation.

Peewee

[BillyB]

Well after letting this situation sit dormant for too long, some of the suggestions offered have inspired me to make another attempt at contacting her.
 One of the main obstacles has been, the only phone number I have is the one to the little shop / booth she works in. To call her via interpreter on a three-way would be awkward since customers come in all the time.
It would be better I think, if I could get someone to either stop by and talk to her or call her and just relay that I am still interested in her and to find out in a more definite way if she is interested and then to work out how we could proceed if she is available and willing.

What I don't want to do is "always wonder" as Wiz, wrote.

Corp, Best wishes. If things go well over the phone with an interpreter and you want to communicate through e-mail, ask her to open a free @mail.ru account since it has a built in translator. It's important to communicate with her quickly and often to make a decision if you are compatable and keep it going or not and cut it off.

[andrewfi]

Not to ring too much of a contrary note but would you normally be chasing after shop girls as potential wives?
Is this your normal dating pool - the best you can do?
Of course I don't know you and, thus, if this is your normal level then you should indeed get on the phone, or better yet go visit.
If not, remember your own standards and move on.

[Bruno]

Not to ring too much of a contrary note but would you normally be chasing after shop girls as potential wives?
Is this your normal dating pool - the best you can do?
Of course I don't know you and, thus, if this is your normal level then you should indeed get on the phone, or better yet go visit.
If not, remember your own standards and move on.

Andrew, if you have visit FSU recently, you will know that several women have more that one job... and it is not unusual to find a shop girls who have high diploma... Some can be teacher who seek a second income !

In any case, what it is wrong with a shop girls... Normal people seek a wife and a potential mother for future children... of course, if you seek a women for raise your own social status or maybe for bring a new high income home, a shop girls is not what you will wish...

Your post is very insulting to all shop girls... next time that you go to a shop, think how much these shop girls are needed... without shop girls, no shop... without shop, you can go to the farm for your daily milk...

In each modern society, each job is important... i have experience it last year when the guy who empty the garbage can have stop work during two week due to strike in summer... other people was really happy when theyhave start work again...

People who think that a job is lower that a other are idiot... each job have his place in our society.

[BC]

Andrew,

I think that current occupation should be considered to a certain point but not be overrated.  In fact concluding that western and eastern 'shop girls' are the same may not be totally valid.  I would give education and ability to engage in challenging discourse greater weight.

Just a small example:

Take a hundred shop girls in FSU and ask them about the last book they read.
Take a hundred shop girls in USA/EU and ask them about the last book they read.

I think you will find a world of difference.

Bruno,

Nothing to get upset about.. Andrew is just pointing out that forcing square pegs into round holes usually does not work out well.

   

[Turboguy]

Excellent post Bruno, good post BC.   I don't like to see posts were people or a class of people are put down myself.  For some of us the occupation of our girl is unimportant.  Some of us might not even be that concerned about eduction.  Education and intelligence are two different things.   Henry Ford had an 8th grade education and I don't think anyone thinks he was stupid.

If her being a shop girl bothered him I am sure he would not have gotten interested in her or posted this in the beginning.  It would not bother me either.  Actually of the gals I like a lot right now, one is a taxi dispatcher and the other who strikes me as the most intelligent gal I have written is a work at home seamstress.  We have had some very interesting discussions that were political, economic or about sometimes fairly complex world events.

Although I tend to not look down at shop girls and those with menial jobs, I do sometimes look down at someone who looks down at others and considers himself to be Superior.  I prefer to go through life with respect for everyone not just those with important jobs.

[chivo]

no andrew is being an ass. hey andrew, can you afford to buy yourself a dinner now, or maybe more than 2 beers if you go out?

when you actually want to help someone, you at times can offer some good solid advice.

but really cut the crap, and quite trying to appear more than what you are, which is a wannabe.  for you to call out anyone is flat out BS, and Bruno is right youre comments are insulting.

chivo

[Bruno]

Bruno,
Nothing to get upset about.. Andrew is just pointing out that forcing square pegs into round holes usually does not work out well.

BC, the post of Andrew was maybe interesting if he have not add the bold part in my quote bellow :

would you normally be chasing after shop girls as potential wives?
Is this your normal dating pool - the best you can do?

By this, he imply that shop girls are low quality... it is not about quare of round holes... it is about that one hole is better that the other...

I have just take a look at the database of aprettywoman... they have 174 saleslady... the majority of them have a university education, some a college education and a few without info... in the same time, i have find a perfect girl for our friend Horseman  ... http://aprettywoman.com/d.cgi/1001R5682082081.82.102.181153917723 ... young, sexy, farmer, like horse and ride horse everyday  ...  so, it is hope for guy living in campaign, far from city