Holding a grudge

[eich]

The married guys I think may an opinion on this. I’m not sure if “grudge” is the right word but I’m curious, in a relationship, overall who tends to hold a grudge more, western women or FCU women? In other words is Ukrainian – Russian more forgiving if you seriously screw up, made some mistake, etc? Do you persist in attempts to repair the situation, and for how long, or would they view it negatively as an American woman probably would? It would be interesting to know how the men over there deal with such ordeals.

[BillyB]

 in a relationship, overall who tends to hold a grudge more, western women or FCU women?

Some people say Western women  are more likely to use sex(no sex) as a weapon.

In other words is Ukrainian – Russian more forgiving if you seriously screw up, made some mistake, etc?

Divorce rates over there are comparable to Western nations but they are dealing with worse economic conditions and financial troubles are usually the #1 reason relationships fail.

Do you persist in attempts to repair the situation, and for how long, or would they view it negatively as an American woman probably would?

My wife rarely gets mad for more than an hour over anything. I don't try to repair anything. I just give her a hug later on in the day.

It would be interesting to know how the men over there deal with such ordeals.

Some FSU men say their wives drove them to drink.

[alex330]

Ukrainian women do not generally hold grudges. But the wrath of an FSUW is quick and severe if you screw up. Good news is that it is quickly forgotten.

[Boethius]

I've witnessed FSUW who hold grudges for years.  That said, I think it comes down to the individual.  It has nothing to do with the culture.

[tfcrew]

Dittos Boe

[southernX]

 my experience is that there is not much difference  , it comes down to the individuals core personality more than anything else

however , i have seen FSU women harbor a grudge for along time for something a person has done to them & this is in their home country and in the new , and especially between themselves in the new country when different levels of FSU people meet up .

they are usally quick to let you know your offside , it can be silent strike or a hell harranging with a memory like an elephant , but once forgiveness is done , your ok

be wary of denting their pride or independence !!

best way is ime to just keep on with your own routine , be the man , stay calm , stay logical and dont escalate it beyond what it is directLy about ..sort of normal really

SX

[eich]

Years ago something like this happened with me during a long distance relationship with a woman from Donetsk. For certain reasons it had gone on for an extendedly long time including multiple visits and a particularly embarrassing incident in Tunis. By then I was thinking there was a future for us.
Then it all came to an end after 2 melodramatic quarrels followed by the silent treatment. I moved on afterwards. For awhile I wondered what I could have done to make things right in such a long distance situation. Oh well. . .

[BillyB]

Eich, a guy sometimes has to go through a bunch of women before he finds one that is mentally stable so date or communicate with as many women as you can to get done with the process sooner rather than later. Once you find that mentally stable woman, you better hope she finds you mentally stable.

[Sting23]

Years ago something like this happened with me during a long distance relationship with a woman from Donetsk. For certain reasons it had gone on for an extendedly long time including multiple visits and a particularly embarrassing incident in Tunis.

Care to elaborate? 

[eich]

Well I can but I did not intend for this to be so drawn out but here it is.
      The “incident” was more embarrassing for her than it was for me.
We settled on some dubious resort in Tunis; town of Hammond, since our first choice was no longer available for reasons I no longer remember.
     
   After the airport we spent the first days exploring, getting incredibly burned, fending off merchants, and swimming in the Mediterranean Sea. Radiating out from the resort center the aged cottages with pathways were grouped separately among some exotic trees, shrubbery and undergrowth; and according to nationalities – as I was told. Apparently they thought I was Italian because we were grouped near two other cottages that held some of the same. There were also some unidentifiable birds wandering about that shrieked in the early hours along with my drunken neighbors that sang, shouted throughout the night and belched in our window.
     
    Well Sting, getting back to your question.

    Katya became fascinated with the hang gliders making their passes along the shore at incredibly high altitudes - I’m not a fan of heights. With some misgivings in regards to the people operating the boat/glider I eventually gave in to her requests. After receiving instructions we were strapped together in tandem – she was wearing a very skimpy bikini that drew the attention of the handlers as they were strapping us in. Anyway we were quickly and expertly lifted off the beach and into the air. I began to relax as we climbed higher and higher. The view was magnificent yet Katya remained oddly silent. Then came some turbulence that was of course startling but I was able to maintain control. It didn’t quite register at first as I was preoccupied with well, everything. But I soon came to the realization that something was amiss, - a warm wet feeling around about my waist and legs. I cannot really explain what had happened in delicate terms but Katya’s bowels simply let loose into the wind. (Skimpy bikini bottoms do not hold much in the way of fluids unfortunately.) As it turns out she was not a fan of heights either. Upon our return to the beach and crowd, we both sprinted for the water to rinse off. Understandably conversation was rather stilted afterwards until we left the next day.
     
    I did however have some revenge on my neighbors while they were away. Just before we left for the resort center to catch our bus to the airport, I collected all of their clothing they had hanging to dry and threw them up on their flat roof in such a way that they were hidden from view. Next I jammed wood splinters in both of their door locks. I could only smile to myself as we boarded the bus while listening to their shouts of protests to a bewildered manager at the main desk.

[Sting23]

wow I don't think I can top that story. I just hope the poor girl wasn't beet red in the face the whole day.  I think anyone would be pretty embarassed if that happened to them.

[BillyB]

Eich, although not your fault, Since you knew about her embarrassing episode, she cut ties with you so you'd never leak what happen to her friends and family.

[I/O]

Billy's right, She spilled her guts and she probably didn't want you to spill yours to anyone she knows.


As for the rest of it - they hold grudges as well as anyone from anywhere..

[ML]

Regarding embarrassing situations:

I was in Antalya once with a Russian gal.

We were at  Mediterranean (or  Akdeniz as they call it) seaside and I started throwing flat stones to show her the skipping display.

About my fourth try, a combo happened.

First I broke wind during my throw, second I lost my balance and fell, and third a wave came in and soaked me.

It was so funny that I started laughing; and then when the gal could see that I was not upset about anything  she joined in the laughter.

When I tried to get up, I fell back into the water again.
I started laughing harder, and then the locals started laughing along with me.
A couple of local guys came over to help me finally stand up and walk up on the solid sand.

We walked back to our rented aparthotel and laughed a lot along the way.
The unfunny part was that my paper money and a bunch of other papers took a long time and some ironing to get back into shape.  They were in a buttoned pocket, so nothing was lost into the sea.

Anyway she was a 40 something medical doctor and was not fazed about it, once she saw that I wasn't fazed either.