Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff

[msmob]

Thanks to those living / lived in Russia for a great thread.

I only live there half the year.  I admit to being enthusiastic and trying to do as much as I can and see new places.

[Trenchcoat]

you meet a woman on the street in Kyiv, and you invite her to lunch
at lunch you invite her to diner
at diner, you mention that the Spanish word for bathroom is “banyo” and you heard the Russian word “banya” is that the same as “bathroom”?
No, it isn’t!
after she explains it to you, you say with enthusiasm that you want to go, but then with some hesitation, “not by yourself...” and let your voice trail off...
if she has any interest in you at all, she’ll volunteer herself as your companion...
if not, you finish diner, tell her good night, and “move on"
all the 5 star hotels in Ukraine will have a banya in the ground floor or basement
now, the next part is the part that requires some “finesse” on your part
your joint banya experience will go one of two ways, either you go into separate saunas and showers or you share one...
obviously you want to share one, since this will mean being naked with her!
I personally have never had separate saunas with a woman in Kyiv, even if I had only known her over diner...

ok?

i’ve taken you this far...
the rest is up to you...

Yep already did the private banja scene with girl

Surprised the heck out of me as it's pretty unheard of to have private banja/sauna thing in the UK. I think it would be regarded particularly by women here as seedy. In fact I think if you mentioned it to a lot of UK women it would likely signal the end of a relationship or any attempt at one, lol.

What got me is that the girl doesn't have any qualms against using a banja that is in the basement of the hotel but she will not stay in a hotel as it makes her a prostitute 

In the UK it is more likely the other way around where a girl might be thought of as a prostitute. Apparently a cultural difference it seems but one I find most bizarre and lead to a bit if unease on my part until I understood that they view it differently, lol. They apparently see the two as separate businesses/establishments even though it is in the same building

All this cultural stuff can be a strange old affair!

[krimster2]

"Yep already did the private banja scene with girl

yeah, but damn, those are such great memories, I just feel compelled to bring it up once in a while
the same would be in the US of the banya, it would not fly there!
the thing about the banya is that at least in the ones that are in Kyiv's 5 star hotels like the Dnipro fro example
are very discreetly located in the ground floor with no station attendant (only in the winter OFF season)
so you can go there discreetly without any hotel staff interacting
a long time back the big hotels in kyiv used to have a "matron" on each floor to kinda "oversee" things  who'd intimidate your girl friends unless you slipped her something green, but they haven't done that in awhile - but Ukrainian girls are VERY intimidated by this, so even though the "danger" is gone, the paranoia isn't
 that's why in some places it's better to have an apartment and avoid this particular hassle!  this is what I did  you can still rent the banya without being a guest

it wasn't in any way difficult or awkward for either of us if I were to caress a woman' cheek or arm or leg and get her to respond
in the US people would be a bit more awkward, but Ukrainian women were pretty much fully "into it"
I was very successful at turning foot massages into foreplay
and every woman I ever went hiking with got a foot massage

most of my relationships with girls in kyiv were similar, mid-20ish, tallish (I'm 6'4") bi-lingual
I ended up marrying a Ukrainian woman 28 who was 6'1" light brown hair and green eyes
who I met in Kyiv

I did have some really WEIRD encounters though
I liked this Ukrainian "Goth" girl I met at the kreschatik street McDonalds
and invited to my apartment which was nearby
I found her "interesting" awesome English, was studying at Taras Shevchenko Univ
an intellect sharper than a scalpel
my guess was 22 yr old  kinda looked like a young version of the actress Anne Hathaway
she really was "quizzing" me on "life in America" , is it real what you see in the movies"
the conversation abruptly turned when she asked me, "American men are circumcised, yes?"
yes, I responded
our men are not, she said,
you are circumcised, yes?" she asked
er um yes, I replied
would you show me please, she asked?

so the life erotic in kyiv can be quite varied
everything from cocaine-fueled orgies with escorts
to "show me yours and I'll show you mine"

[msmob]

What got me is that the girl doesn't have any qualms against using a banja that is in the basement of the hotel but she will not stay in a hotel as it makes her a prostitute 



All this cultural stuff can be a strange old affair!

Forgive me, but I am left wondering if this a Trench fantasy.

Perhaps it is my age, but I can think of a lot more interesting places for cracks at intimany. ....

A proper banya session involves making each other mutually  hot in a different sense?

Could this be why a woman wouldn't  object?

The best 'private' banya we have hired was with another couple in the mountains above Sochi.

.....and no..... it wasn't like that....It was fun, though.

[Trenchcoat]

"Yep already did the private banja scene with girl

yeah, but damn, those are such great memories, I just feel compelled to bring it up once in a while
the same would be in the US of the banya, it would not fly there!
the thing about the banya is that at least in the ones that are in Kyiv's 5 star hotels like the Dnipro fro example
are very discreetly located in the ground floor with no station attendant (only in the winter OFF season)
so you can go there discreetly without any hotel staff interacting
a long time back the big hotels in kyiv used to have a "matron" on each floor to kinda "oversee" things  who'd intimidate your girl friends unless you slipped her something green, but they haven't done that in awhile - but Ukrainian girls are VERY intimidated by this, so even though the "danger" is gone, the paranoia isn't
 that's why in some places it's better to have an apartment and avoid this particular hassle!  this is what I did  you can still rent the banya without being a guest

Certainly are good memories Krimster Thanks for the tip on the Dnipro, knew they had some kind of spa facility there but not of the private Banja sort. I've stayed in the hotel Ukraine before and rang the bell just off reception for the sauna, I was surprised when the door opened and this stange looking guy (the attendant apparently) popped his head out. I wasn't with a girl at the time just curious. So I'm guessing they have similar in the basement there. Attendant guy didn't seem that hospitabe (not rude but not exactly welcoming/cheerful) so had I been with a girl I can see how she might find it awkward/intimidating.

With girl that I did the banja thing with I did rent an apartment and we went to a banja in a hotel that was way out of Kiev by taxi - on the outskirts. It was a big hotel most probably five star, done out nice inside. We went inside to Receptoon then down to the private banja - it was quite sizable with a number of rooms for us to enjoy, like a whole sauna facility but just for us, I could not believe it, lol. Anyway one room had a sauna, another a steam room I think and yet another a bed there was also one of those big bucket things you stand under pull the rope and a load of water gushes over you, fortunately it was not real cold as I feared just a little cool.

Anyway, there were apparently two types of private banja we could have gone for - a Turkish themed banja and a Russian themed banja - she chose Russian since she was Russian/Ukrainian. I think it was a good choice. Like I say compared to back home it was far out, and yes only the sort of experience I would have dreamed off.

You've certainly lived one he'll of a life Krimster. I just wish I could go back in time and lived mine more the way you have lived yours. I'm now 40 but time over again I would have learnt Russian early saved up a load of dosh and spent a long time of my youth over in Ukraine/Russia Still hasn't been a bad life could have been worse and still plenty of time to get more FSU experiences in I hope. The way they live their lives over there is just so much better than in much of the west I think where all the joy has pretty much been squeezed out of life by uptight values and stuffyness.

[Trenchcoat]

Forgive me, but I am left wondering if this a Trench fantasy.

Perhaps it is my age, but I can think of a lot more interesting places for cracks at intimany. ....

A proper banya session involves making each other mutually  hot in a different sense?

Could this be why a woman wouldn't  object?

The best 'private' banya we have hired was with another couple in the mountains above Sochi.

.....and no..... it wasn't like that....It was fun, though.

With another couple... you mean like you were like swingers!

Could it be that Trenchy here has had a FSU experience that Mobers has not!!! And that are Mobers is just a tinsy winsy bit jealous, lol

Appears for once you have some catching up to do Mobe. When you are next with your other half discuss this with her and book yourself in for the real banja experience, not the touristy version, you won't regret it 😉

[krimster2]

“Perhaps it is my age, but I can think of a lot more interesting places for cracks at intimany. ....”

top o’ the mornin!
aye, tis true, but need to start the new cadets out slowly...
also, the banya is a part of Russian Kultura, our “victims” “know the score” to the tune that’s about to be played, so to speak, so their acceptance of being there is in Russian Kultura the beginning of an “invitation”

A proper banya session involves making each other mutually  hot in a different sense?

oh very much 100% true
and if you’re good at it and you meet a girl who’s also good at building it, it can be a pretty intense erotic experience...  and besides the “display” in the sauna, you have the shower which generally involves more touching and then I usually “finish up” partly in the pool (and this is my favorite part)

and ‘tis why I introduced it to our younger brothers.  if they master this basic lesson, should we provide more advanced ones?

what would you recommend?

never did a multi-couple or group banya, for my “style” it wouldn’t really add much, also these girls were so damned hot, you would not need to add a second for more eye candy

I  did end up in a Russian oligarch’s party at his dacha/mansion near the airport  I was the only American at this party and was very roughly handled by the party’s “escorts” who forced me to take illicit drugs...  how I’m still alive I don’t know...  stay away from this kind of “action”
stupid of me, hope there’s no pee pee tape of that night...

[msmob]

Could it be that Trenchy here has had a FSU experience that Mobers has not!!! And that are Mobers is just a tinsy winsy bit jealous, lol

You are dreamin' of the life and I am livin' the dream - what's there to be jealous of ?

Appears for once you have some catching up to do Mobe. When you are next with your other half discuss this with her and book yourself in for the real banja experience, not the touristy version, you won't regret it 😉

Duh, you've 'tried it' in some underground room in a hotel and that's 'real' ? ....   REAL banyas are the one's at folks homes, when you take turns to go in , take tea, chat about the world or places in the mountains, where you run out into a roaring mountain stream ....  or run out and roll in the snow ...

'Sure' .... like you've tried that ...   

[JayH]

You are dreamin' of the life

Moby --he is a liar --I don't believe he has had any of these "experiences "  .
The fantasy is coming from his sex tourist forums that he frequents and gets his kicks from-- and believes the BS there from the likes of that clown  fantasist DK .
This is a guy who on meeting managed to get  a girl to flee before she had even finished her coffee!!

The "highlight"of that trip he actually made was he was staying at an excellent hotel that has about as much opportunity to meet someone as any location possible-  right there on doorstep.

 He wrote about it being a miserable place with nothing to do !!

The only way -- and I mean the ONLY way --there is any possibility of there being a grain of truth in what he wrote is if he had hired ( paid) that girl. But --knowing how tight he is about money -- I can't see that as a possibility either -- so it only leaves it to something he has read.

[krimster2]

" or run out an roll in the snow"

did not like that part, cuz then you have to have that awkward conversation about shrinkage, it's just so embarrassing for that to happen to have your willy shrink down to the size of a noodle in front of her ... when just a minute ago... I dunno, I guess all's well that ends well...
ohhh sure, yur gonna tell me an Irishman never has that problem, not even on a freezing night in St Petersburg with 3 shots of vodka?

[msmob]

top o’ the mornin!

NEVER heard any real Irish person say that  ))

aye, tis true,

And I'm from the north .. We'd say "Achk, at's troo!"   

but need to start the new cadets out slowly...

Our Trench is a 'Space Cadet', as we'd say in Norn 'Irn

also, the banya is a part of Russian Kultura, our “victims” “know the score” to the tune that’s about to be played, so to speak, so their acceptance of being there is in Russian Kultura the beginning of an “invitation”

A proper banya session involves making each other mutually  hot in a different sense?

oh very much 100% true
and if you’re good at it and you meet a girl who’s also good at building it, it can be a pretty intense erotic experience...  and besides the “display” in the sauna, you have the shower which generally involves more touching and then I usually “finish up” partly in the pool (and this is my favorite part)

and ‘tis why I introduced it to our younger brothers.  if they master this basic lesson, should we provide more advanced ones?

what would you recommend?

never did a multi-couple or group banya, for my “style” it wouldn’t really add much, also these girls were so damned hot, you would not need to add a second for more eye candy

I  did end up in a Russian oligarch’s party at his dacha/mansion near the airport  I was the only American at this party and was very roughly handled by the party’s “escorts” who forced me to take illicit drugs...  how I’m still alive I don’t know...  stay away from this kind of “action”
stupid of me, hope there’s no pee pee tape of that night...

I posted the video of our 'foursome' banya in one of my TR reports and simply cannot compete with your memories...   



For those with low boredom thresholds - it gets more interesting from 2:35 and ends with SC wanting to dip in the roaring torrent ( excuse my assassination of Russian - I know I should have said " Ti Zharko ? " )

[msmob]

" or run out an roll in the snow"

did not like that part, cuz then you have to have that awkward conversation about shrinkage, it's just so embarrassing for that to happen to have your willy shrink down to the size of a noodle in front of her ... when just a minute ago... I dunno, I guess all's well that ends well...
ohhh sure, yur gonna tell me an Irishman never has that problem, not even on a freezing night in St Petersburg with 3 shots of vodka?

No.. I'm telling you that's EXACTLY why I have trouble believing about romps at proper banyas

[Trenchcoat]

Our Trench is a 'Space Cadet', as we'd say in Norn 'Irn

I posted the video of our 'foursome' banya in one of my TR reports and simply cannot compete with your memories...   



For those with low boredom thresholds - it gets more interesting from 2:35 and ends with SC wanting to dip in the roaring torrent ( excuse my assassination of Russian - I know I should have said " Ti Zharko ? " )

On competing with my memories I would have to agree Mobers there was certainly no Russian dude around thrashing a branch about while everyone else sat around bored, lol.

Edit: sorry, a Russian dude in speedo's!

[msmob]

Ah, we see yet another one of RWD's forum know it alls that has dicovered today from the likes of mere old trenchy that having thought he knew it all about the FSU actually doesn't, lol, boy how am I savouring this moment

I think we should put this to the test

With the permission of the mods I created a poll ( you can only see the results if voting )

Trench - if you have any options you want adding - as you are the star - please let me know


The poll is here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22705.0

( Members only )

[Trenchcoat]

Sure, I have no problems with this, all options look fine to me

[msmob]

Sure, I have no problems with this, all options look fine to me

Good, sport !

[Trenchcoat]

In all honesty I can see how anyone who's not been in this situation may not find it believeable. By western standards it sounds much like the sort of thing young jocks (as they would say on the US) BS about to impress their peers. I assure you though it happened as you guys know on here I tell it all wart and all since I firmly believe this is how we all gain most out of this forum by getting it all out into the open - otherwise no one is able to comment to help you out is the way I see it.

This is why I tell you guys what I am about to tell you now. At the time while it was certainly a mine blowing experience that I enjoyed greatly it mistakenly begun to sow seeds of doubt in my mind. Towards the end of the sauna/banya experience I thought to myself no way would a legit girl do this especially since everything I heard about girls/her not wanting to stay in hotel as they would be deemed a prostitute. After all she was a hottie about 14 years younger than me. I'm an ok looking guy but have never considered myself a top tier in crowdy sort of guy. So was this her business and a deceitful girl? We said nothing to each other in the taxi back to the apartment. Just the odd few looks of distrust & suspicion - I feared the worst but did not wish to say. At that point I felt I would rather not know we still had the night together before departure the following day.

Later though as we redied for bed I had come around to asking her why she was ok using the sauna/banja if she had a hang up over hotels. I thought I had rumbled her that I had caught her out. Instead she went on to tell me that it's ok as it's treated as two separate businesses (though eitgin the same building) and it was quite alright doing that in Ukraine. I was more reassured by this though still found it a little strange passed it off as a cultural difference which is what it seems to have been. I'm now pretty sure she was straight up in this and feel bad that I thought such about her but it was a pretty strange cultural difference that came way out of left field for me to get my head around. Before this experience I had no idea that this sort of stuff went on over there. The only other thing like this I had heard of was saunas on Austria allowing nude participation but this was as a group in public and no sex involved and in fact it tended to be only the minority that seemed to go in nude in the ones I have been in and they were mostly old guys.

So there we have it, like I say compared to the UK it was a experience I was not expecting - she off course told me before we went but I was not really believing that it would go down that way. In fact I wondered if I was being taken in the taxi to be done in somewhere - i.e there would be a crowd of goons to meet me and do me in. The taxi drove us real far out and through some areas that were a bit semi desolate. Fortunately my experience didnt end that way, lol.

[msmob]

 All this doubt, but you took her to Cyprus, too ?

[Trenchcoat]

All this doubt, but you took hot to Cyprus, too ?

I had doubt but in the last day or so it all changed around again and all was good. Like I say I felt bad for thinking badly of her. If any thing I felt more sure that she was genuine. In our contact between Kiev & Cyprus I felt she was being straight up with me.

The whole relationship generally tended to flit back & forth between I trust her and I don't. Very much like the original premise to the Homeland drama.

I think she is generally genuine and trustworthy but the way she acts tends to undermine this - basically the shopping sprees and the cultural differences such as above.

I think a lot of the shopping problem comes from both her lack of understanding of English Culture and what she has been led to believe or led herself to believe of English culture. I've tried to tell her but I think she has trouble understanding the cultural difference as I did hers. I don't think she realises that because salaries are generally equal here whether male or female each person unless they are a particularly high earner (few & far between) generally gets paid enough to support one adult and little more (a bit more for entertainment or support kids but that's all). I think she thinks that a men's salary is double like in Ukraine so will support both man and woman.

I think she has led herself to believe WM are all rich, at least those that can afford to fly. Sure the stronger currency can buy a bit more, but not enough for two if one is spending out a fair bit on fashion brand shopping. So I think she never caught onto the difference, believed me or just wanted to believe what she wanted. I tried to tell her man & women go halves in the west which went down like a lead balloon, lol. I'm not sure if I tried to tell her of ghe salary difference probably thinking it would sound weak to her, probably I should have labeled this point more as she's a young girl and may have been oblivious to it all.

[krimster2]

a dacha in the forest, a chilly snowy gray afternoon
ice on the windows on the inside
the smell of old wood
firewood in the ancient wood burning stove
heat the samovar
tea with honey....

completely different experience but nice way to spend a relaxing day with your sweetheart
this is more my speed now....

unfortunately cannot show my photos ...
my wife found my collection of the ones that did NOT feature her and hid them some where, and if I ever published the ones that featured her, I’d be cut-off for a week, noooooo...

[krimster2]

NEVER heard any real Irish person say that  ))

THAT'S why everyone in Dublin was looking at me that way
but damn Trinity college, then the library, double damn

[Sting23]

 I tried to tell her man & women go halves in the west which went down like a lead balloon, lol. I'm not sure if I tried to tell her of ghe salary difference probably thinking it would sound weak to her, probably I should have labeled this point more as she's a young girl and may have been oblivious to it all.

dude stop being so cheap.. on a date in the west guys don't go half with a girl.

[Trenchcoat]

Poll looking good for me so far Mobers I'm in the lead with 4 votes!

[BillyB]

Poll looking good for me so far Mobers I'm in the lead with 4 votes!

According to the poll, there is two Trenches on this forum. Will the real Trench stand up? The poll has an error margin of +/-  3%.

[msmob]

Poll looking good for me so far Mobers I'm in the lead with 4 votes!

?)

As I see it - it's a tie - 4 folks think your a dreamer and 4 think you're their dating hero)