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Author Topic: Greetings from the US Midwest  (Read 3224 times)

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Online myrddin

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2018, 08:56:03 AM »

I guess things have changed since round one.


having a wingman. The fellow from NY that was there when I was, sure helped me. It was nice to have a like minded person to talk to after introductions and dates.


I've always thought the best way is to go over for as long as your situation and resources allow (though I don't see a reason to avoid website contacts beforehand).  Meeting and dating is just easier than in the West. 
Some details may change, but I doubt things/people have changed that in 10 (or 20) years.

No matter how much advice you're getting, your own experience and reflection is paramount.


Good luck

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2018, 10:50:00 AM »
Meeting and dating is just easier than in the West.

Exactly! and there are members on this forum that tell me to date at home. When I tell them how much harder it is they don't believe me. It certainly is easier to date over there, I've found that so has many others. Sure it's a mixed bag what you get but that's similar to dating anywhere. Just a case of chose which method/strategy you want to use GenMish and try your luck is the way I see it.

Offline krimster2

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #27 on: May 29, 2018, 11:40:52 AM »
pretty much...

but...

why not do both?
you better start playing your "A" level game
you're not getting any younger

Online msmob

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #28 on: May 29, 2018, 04:14:30 PM »
Exactly! and there are members on this forum that tell me to date at home. When I tell them how much harder it is they don't believe me. It certainly is easier to date over there, I've found that so has many others. Sure it's a mixed bag what you get but that's similar to dating anywhere. Just a case of chose which method/strategy you want to use GenMish and try your luck is the way I see it.

It is easier to 'date' there as the lady isn't as sure of you .. The Brit girls havec- clearly - worked out 'your number' pretty quickly ...

THAT is why you are dating abroad .. 

You'll see get found out - over there - until you change your attitude

Those that can be attractive to the opp sex are attractive everywhere
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #29 on: May 31, 2018, 11:49:46 PM »
Hello,
I have been lurking here for the last few weeks. You see, I was married to an intelligent beautiful Russian Lady I met in the early 90s for 23 years, but now recently divorced. Im thinking about giving it a second try at 53 years of age. If nothing else I want to share advice with the many good people I have seen posting here since I have travelled extensively to Russia, and have experience with the people.


Welcome to the forum!

Bill
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FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #30 on: June 07, 2018, 04:56:24 AM »
Hello,
I started out and am already chatting with some ladies from one of the online dating sites recommended here, but Im going to need some advice. As you know, the online situation is very different from my experience a quarter century ago. Where should I start a new thread? Or should I message individuals?

Online msmob

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #31 on: June 07, 2018, 05:30:33 AM »
How do you think the situation is much different ? It is interesting to hear your opinion

My guess is that you might have been knocked down in the rush for attention ? ;)

FSU ladies are much wiser to the keyboard romeos and sex tourists and in the case of Russia - they hear that western economies are as bad as - or worse - than their own


The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #32 on: June 07, 2018, 07:35:46 AM »
Perhaps my experience was unique msmob. It was a small agency specializing in the Urals. I knew it was real because a friend brought home his bride, and she knew many of the other women because the agency sold them a class on living in the USA. So my friends wife spent time with the other women, and I could ask her questions about specific women. All the girls were serious, and all the men going there were too. I think if someone went as a sex tourist, they would change their minds. These women were that good.

But with online dating, its like a past time for some of these women. Yes I am being rushed, but in an odd way. Its like many are just throwing as much #@$! against the wall as they can, and seeing if any sticks

My first visit, I met handful of ladies, all beautiful, intelligent, serious, and who wanted to show they had all the qualities of a good wife(keeping a good clean home, cooking, sewing, raising children, etc) However now the few I like and I think are serious, the conversations feel more like a conversation in a bar which is issue #1. One reason could be phone calls were $2 minute then and the phone lines were horrible. Now Im getting a few dozen 'how was your day' texts.

So Im going to narrow it down and start skyping. Which brings up issue #2, there is a big geographic distance in the ladies I like. So if I see more than one, I will need extra travel time.


Issue #3, I am getting the vibe that some wont see you if they know you are going to see other ladies. In that case, I would be making a trip for just one

So I have 3 issues, and Im just starting

Online msmob

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #33 on: June 07, 2018, 08:37:26 AM »
Issue #2 is why *I* prefer visit one.... Women ain't daft
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #34 on: June 07, 2018, 10:36:15 AM »
Russian women were not daft 25 years ago either. It was understood that there wasn't going to be hanky panky until a commitment was made. The only one that tried to get physical with me, I showed her the door. The last thing I wanted was a wife that would do that . And the next thing I didn't want was to get emotionally/physically involved because it would impact my judgment.
  I(and the Americans I knew that went) didn't fly all the way to Ekaterinburg for sex. We wanted quality women. Those that wanted sex, probably stayed in Moscow where all the hot prostitutes migrated to. Sex tourists weren't taking the extra flight to the Urals.  Those of us that went to Russia went to find quality women that weren't westernized. From the conversations I am having today online, they sound very westernized

Online msmob

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #35 on: June 07, 2018, 10:41:41 AM »
I do not recognise 'the prudish FSU women of the past'  you may be suggesting ....   

Whilst I'm not suggesting any lady was akin to a prostitute .... I heard the expression "we are not adults" - a LOT... 
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Online myrddin

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #36 on: June 07, 2018, 12:50:29 PM »
Perhaps my experience was unique

That may be. It certainly sounds unusual and not without luck.

But with online dating, its like a past time for some of these women. Yes I am being rushed, but in an odd way. Its like many are just throwing as much #@$! against the wall as they can, and seeing if any sticks

 Now Im getting a few dozen 'how was your day' texts.

So Im going to narrow it down and start skyping. Which brings up issue #2, there is a big geographic distance in the ladies I like. So if I see more than one, I will need extra travel time.



There is a big time investment, early on with many messages and Skype/calls and later building a long distance relationship.  I've seen a few people dramatically underestimate this.  Sorting 1000s of profiles down to 100s of attempted contacts, scores of ongoing contacts, and as many Skypes as you can handle.

There is no way around the time investment, hours a day didn't surprise me. Time investment also affects travel, though there are a lot of factors in that.

 I expect many women do throw out as many lines as they can. Most men will never get on a plane.
FWIW, I wouldn't use geography as a major sorting criterion yet. Prioritize your contacts to start and see how interest progresses (on both sides). I'd expect at least some of it will become clearer sooner than you think.


As for PMing members directly, I'd say feel free.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Offline Jumper

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #37 on: June 10, 2018, 08:24:32 PM »
   I preferred someone with a more western mentality and outlook ,easier transition, more positive,more  like minded etc. But I think western women are just fine,so it's not something I would avoid in a woman from other cultures.


  I'd recommend you keep in mind they may not be  nearly as eager to relocate now,so may very well be more casual in their approach to dating a foreigner and chats with one, until they at least meet you.
  Basically you don't exist reallynintil you are in front of them.So while I certainly recommend building up an interest and learning about someone before visiting,and add the caveat that it's just virtual pen pals until you meet.
As fast as time, its certainly an investment of a lot of time.Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

From 99 to 2010, I saw a lot of change in the FSU.
However the one thing that did not change is the demand for a financially stable,good family man.
.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #38 on: June 14, 2018, 01:27:14 PM »
I think I am going to throw in the towel

At 53 years of age the Risk Reward equation doesn't make sense. Its not just the time required, but I am now talking to a totally different demographic than I did 25 years ago. A demographic that has much different needs than the women I met 25 years ago. I am now talking to 35-43 yr old women with children, and they are looking for a man to step in and correct all the mistakes the previous husband made. While they might say they want a new love, its pretty obvious it would just be a deal

If I looked in my own age range, I bet ya I could find a wonderful lady there. But Why spend all that effort searching there, when I can find a nice lady here?

Online BillyB

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #39 on: June 14, 2018, 03:27:51 PM »
If I looked in my own age range, I bet ya I could find a wonderful lady there. But Why spend all that effort searching there, when I can find a nice lady here?


Why not do both?
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline ML

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #40 on: June 14, 2018, 04:03:14 PM »
But Why spend all that effort searching there, when I can find a nice lady here?

Yes . . . nice and chunky.
I still like Ike.

Offline ML

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #41 on: June 14, 2018, 04:09:19 PM »
I am now talking to 35-43 yr old women with children, and they are looking for a man to step in and correct all the mistakes the previous husband made. While they might say they want a new love, its pretty obvious it would just be a deal.

There are quite a number in that age range whose children are 18 years and older.
Some of the children are even 22 years and older, have finished University and have jobs.
Above a certain age, they cannot come with their mother on the fiancee visa.

Try a little harder and locate some of those gals.
I found a number of them back when I was looking.
I still like Ike.

Online LAman

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #42 on: June 14, 2018, 10:02:12 PM »
Yes . . . nice and chunky.


ML, that is mostly a Midwest kinda thing!!! Meat and potatoes.


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Online LAman

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #43 on: June 14, 2018, 10:08:46 PM »
I think I am going to throw in the towel

At 53 years of age the Risk Reward equation doesn't make sense. Its not just the time required, but I am now talking to a totally different demographic than I did 25 years ago. A demographic that has much different needs than the women I met 25 years ago. I am now talking to 35-43 yr old women with children, and they are looking for a man to step in and correct all the mistakes the previous husband made. While they might say they want a new love, its pretty obvious it would just be a deal

If I looked in my own age range, I bet ya I could find a wonderful lady there. But Why spend all that effort searching there, when I can find a nice lady here?


I think your thoughts are clear. This type of journey is NOT for everyone, yet many on this board continue to build up the positives as if everyone should try it. I wish you good searching.
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Online msmob

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #44 on: June 15, 2018, 04:11:12 AM »

... yet many on this board continue to build up the positives as if everyone should try it.

I can't think of too many ( married or in LTRs )  who don't think the positives outweigh the negatives
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #45 on: June 15, 2018, 09:52:37 AM »
I can't think of too many ( married or in LTRs )  who don't think the positives outweigh the negatives

I agree. If being married to an FSU woman is a good thing for those who are experiencing it, it makes sense to recommend it.

GenMish should keep all his options open. He can date at home and write to women overseas. He won't know where he'll find a gem until he finds her. There is a big cost to travel to visit a woman overseas and bring her over but if she is a quality woman, it's worth it.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #46 on: June 15, 2018, 04:13:20 PM »
There are quite a number in that age range whose children are 18 years and older.
Some of the children are even 22 years and older, have finished University and have jobs.
Above a certain age, they cannot come with their mother on the fiancee visa.

Try a little harder and locate some of those gals.
I found a number of them back when I was looking.

ML,
What age range were you looking into, and what age were you at the time? When you went, how important was it for her for you to meet all her family?

25 years ago, it was really important to meet all the family.  Today, Im getting nowhere asking about meeting their family. In fact, I am finding inconsistencies in their stories about their families.  When I ask about these, I receive 'I don't understand' to 'I wanted to be tactful' responses

BIG CAVEAT- I got along really well with my Exs whole family. However my ex wifes mother was very prideful and materialistic imo. There was always some tension between my Mother in Law and I. I knew children grow up to be just like their parents. However, I didn't think it would happen this time. When we moved to the Midwest, her main contact was her Mom. My Ex had no Russian friends in the rural Midwest. My wife went from being a wonderful to being like her mom with the same tension.

 If I marry a Russian/Ukrainian Lady again, I want to meet the family. Because there is a huge chance, my lady will turn out just like her mom. In other words, the mom is going to have to adore me

The Caveat is, know the family gentleman.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #47 on: June 15, 2018, 04:39:14 PM »
Well, to be fair, I wouldn't introduce some random person to my family either.  Most women are not going to introduce a man to their family unless the man is someone who they are serious about.


I'm not certain I agree that you can tell a person by who their family is.  All this suggests to me is that you don't really know the person.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline GenMish

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #48 on: June 15, 2018, 05:51:33 PM »
Well, to be fair, I wouldn't introduce some random person to my family either.  Most women are not going to introduce a man to their family unless the man is someone who they are serious about.


I'm not certain I agree that you can tell a person by who their family is.  All this suggests to me is that you don't really know the person.

Have you married a FSU lady? You marry the whole family in a way. When you do....You will be  the one they will depend on for various matters, not just financial

 

Offline Boethius

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Re: Greetings from the US Midwest
« Reply #49 on: June 15, 2018, 06:05:07 PM »
I have relatives in Ukraine. I have been married to an FSUM for over 30 years.

My Grandmother used to send packages to her nieces and nephews in her village. I donít send my relatives anything, though I do bring small gifts when I visit.

My husband sends money sporadically, at his own initiative.   His family doesnít rely on us for anything. I donít think our situation is unusual, and I know a lot of Ukrainians. So, I believe your generalization is just that. Not all families will have the same expectations.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2018, 07:10:02 PM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

 

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