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Author Topic: What to do if she won't back down?  (Read 3267 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #50 on: November 14, 2018, 03:13:31 PM »
Oh, heavens!  What did that bottle of wine set you back?  US$3?  $4?  If it was a local wine, it would be about $1.  The milkshake was probably about $2, maximum. 

You didn't have to give her 200 hyrvnia, but you should have given her enough to take a cab home. You asked her out.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

The bottle of wine & milkshake came to about £12. It was a fairly posh small restaurant in the city centre in Lviv, along the strip leading up to the Opera building.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #51 on: November 14, 2018, 03:14:59 PM »
"It was not the cost, it was the lie over how much the taxi cost"

that was a GOOD call on your part Trench
never be with a UW who lies to you
without trust there is nothing

Thanks Krimster good to see you think the same :)

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #52 on: November 14, 2018, 03:20:20 PM »
"So how do you know if a girl you want under this type of set up will remain loyal?"


in what way?
there's generally never any competition in Ukraine
and as long as you pour the wine
they will drink it...

it's opposite land in Ukraine
she's the one who will feel insecure
not you

you have to deal with other problems
like if they try and trap you by getting pregnant
and how to back out of a relationship you no longer want to maintain

this kind of relationship can have a future if you let it
in my case these girls were WAY to young for anything other than "sport"
in the end the right thing to do was to throw them back into the sea
and it's what I did, first time was done with a LOT of tears, but I got better at it
and THEN
the woman I was chasing
CAUGHT ME!!!

What about after you left Ukraine and brought your wife to the USA. Did you have any worries that things would change that she would change in the US? I mean given the amout of divorces, martial breakdowns, FSW dumping the guy when the green card comes through, influence of western society on her, seeing how different US society is particularly how women have the upper hand there. Did you ever feel she would see the deal US women get, how they are and want that also?

Offline krimster2

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #53 on: November 14, 2018, 03:43:06 PM »
believe it or not, I never once doubted my wife's sincerity about anything!!!!
and I have never felt insecure with a woman...
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #54 on: November 14, 2018, 03:51:32 PM »
believe it or not, I never once doubted my wife's sincerity about anything!!!!
and I have never felt insecure with a woman...

Well I guess she knew you could easily pick up another woman out there and she was your choice out of all the women you had to chose from.

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #55 on: November 14, 2018, 04:37:21 PM »
What about after you left Ukraine and brought your wife to the USA. Did you have any worries that things would change that she would change in the US? I mean given the amout of divorces, martial breakdowns, FSW dumping the guy when the green card comes through, influence of western society on her, seeing how different US society is particularly how women have the upper hand there. Did you ever feel she would see the deal US women get, how they are and want that also?


This is a very good and  valid question. WE are materialists so our thought process is determined by our matrial environment, in other words we think what we live. Personally after 17 years here I have become a 75% american woman.  I actually  tried not to become  one. I conciously resisted, at least the first 5 years. There are still 25% that is russian in me so deeply ingrained, that I can not claim all 100%.
Kaplah!

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #56 on: November 15, 2018, 06:43:38 AM »
The bottle of wine & milkshake came to about £12. It was a fairly posh small restaurant in the city centre in Lviv, along the strip leading up to the Opera building.


Oh heavens!  £12! (incidentally, you were paying the "foreign" price, unless she ordered a non FSU produced wine)  So, less than 2 drinks in the UK, or about the same price as two coffees in the UK.  I can certainly see why you would take this as a major expenditure on a woman you chose to ask out for a drink!

Culturally, if you ask a woman out, and you can afford it, you buy her the cigarettes, and you give her money for a taxi home.  If you can't afford a taxi, you offer to accompany her home by bus.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2018, 07:00:54 AM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #57 on: November 15, 2018, 07:13:51 AM »

Oh heavens!  £12! (incidentally, you were paying the "foreign" price, unless she ordered a non FSU produced wine)  So, less than 2 drinks in the UK, or about the same price as two coffees in the UK.  I can certainly see why you would take this as a major expenditure on a woman you chose to ask out for a drink!

Culturally, if you ask a woman out, and you can afford it, you buy her the cigarettes, and you give her money for a taxi home.  If you can't afford a taxi, you offer to accompany her home by bus.

[size=12]This post was composed without the aid of google.[/size]

Possibly it may have been a foreign wine, I'm any case central Lviv is very touristy now so that comes with more expensive prices. Even if it were foreign prices I can hardly sit there arguing the toss I was dating a girl that potentially I might of found liking. At that point she is a stranger to me so owes me nothing. A few extra quid here and there on dating I don't mind if the end justifies the means in which case a few quid means nothing in the longer term. It was for a whole bottle of wine plus a strawberry milkshake at commercial prices of a fairly posh restaurant not a supermarket.

The fact that she was not the one for me,  the way she behaved and that I would not likely suffer any fall out from not getting paying for a taxi meant I had nothing to lose by scarpering quick without pointlessly giving away more money :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #58 on: November 15, 2018, 07:24:19 AM »
I was in L'viv less than a month ago.  I took six relatives to one of the best restaurants in the city for dinner, and the total bill was CDN$120, not including the tip.  So, I dispute your assertion on prices.


The rest of your post just proves what I have stated.  Your attitude will defeat you.  Whether she was for you or not, you asked her for a drink, and you had certain obligations as a result.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #59 on: November 15, 2018, 03:32:46 PM »
The rest of your post just proves what I have stated.  Your attitude will defeat you.  Whether she was for you or not, you asked her for a drink, and you had certain obligations as a result.

Normally I would agree but her lieing to me and her attitude to me in dictating to me what I will buy and when released me from that obligation in my mind. I'm not going to be taken for a fool or be seen as weak. She had two good drinks for free in a nice small restaurant in a nice area of Lviv, she did well enough out of it. For me I'm not obliged to be a mug that is where my obligation ends. What I have learnt is if you let them some FSW will ride the obligation argument for all its worth if you let them.

Online msmob

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #60 on: November 15, 2018, 10:56:32 PM »
Her LYING to you ?

I'm pretty certain you didn't get what you really came for, as you alluded to stuff and she tested you out and you failed

If you'd been honest with her, you'd never have made the trip as she'd not have wasted her time on YOU ..

Edited to add: Trench is the sort of guy who makes this harder for those that follow him




Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #61 on: November 16, 2018, 07:07:08 AM »
Normally I would agree but her lieing to me and her attitude to me in dictating to me what I will buy and when released me from that obligation in my mind. I'm not going to be taken for a fool or be seen as weak. She had two good drinks for free in a nice small restaurant in a nice area of Lviv, she did well enough out of it. For me I'm not obliged to be a mug that is where my obligation ends. What I have learnt is if you let them some FSW will ride the obligation argument for all its worth if you let them.


I will say it again.  This endeavour is not for you.  You are too paranoid about being taken advantage of, you don't understand the culture or the cultural cues, and you don't seem willing to learn from your mistakes.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline Jumper

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #62 on: December 01, 2018, 08:51:52 PM »
What about after you left Ukraine and brought your wife to the USA. Did you have any worries that things would change that she would change in the US? I mean given the amout of divorces, martial breakdowns, FSW dumping the guy when the green card comes through, influence of western society on her, seeing how different US society is particularly how women have the upper hand there. Did you ever feel she would see the deal US women get, how they are and want that also?

If you fret over that, then you havn't fallen for her,nor has she fallen for you.


While I may be a hopeless romantic(most poor guys are lol) when I hear* men talk of relationships here it often sounds far more like a business transaction.
While many marraiges probably have some degree of that aspect to them, and marriage is a legal contract, I'd hope it's a minor percent,not major.

My wife was always quite western minded, and certainly became more so after she adjusted to living here.
  That's a positive thing TC. I view it as positive, and more importantly ,she views it as positive.

You have the cart firmly in front of the horse a great deal of the time lol
Worrying over such things will inky undermine your initial interactions with the prospective mrs TC.
  Forget all that and just meet a nice person and see if you like each other! Then repeat until things spark for both people.
You'll have plenty of time and other hurdles after establishing a real relationship,to sabatoge it with such worries.

If there was a market for chick repellent,
Insecurity would be the main ingrediant.

Stop dousing yourself with it.

IF, you meet a serious woman that captivates you, and you her, please dont ruin it by sweating whether she will leave you if Pierce Brosnan (or poor jumper) winks at her in the park ok?

It's highly doubtful you'll be woody harrellson  in Indecent Proposal,so just live your life and try
 to simply enjoy meeting and spending time with someone  interesting.
You may find you'd like to spend more time with them, they may even feel the same, eventually you may mutually decide you want to spend most of your adult lives together.

Just try not to make this more difficult than it is.






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