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Author Topic: What to do if she won't back down?  (Read 3605 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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What to do if she won't back down?
« on: November 11, 2018, 01:44:27 PM »
So I've still been thinking about how to handle a FSW who's decided she wants the opposite of what you want and won't back down, budge, compromise, etc?

I know it is sometimes possible to sidestep the issue, talk you're way around it, avoid talking about it or trying logical reasoning to resolve it. What however after all of that she still stays adamant to what she wants and vice versa. Is there anything else to try? A more simple direct way of resolving the situation she rigidly refuses to move on?
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2018, 01:56:41 PM »
Could you be a little more specific as to what it is she can not compromise on..
Kaplah!

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2018, 02:17:42 PM »
Could you be a little more specific as to what it is she can not compromise on..

Could be anything, where to meet up, what way around something will happen. Take for example a girl I was with last year. She wanted to see me in the UK next but point blank refused to see me in her housetown. The discussion with it all went around in circles and got no where. She would not budge at all no matter what I said. I tried to tell he'd that getting a UK visa is a difficult, most probably impossible matter for a young girl who works in retail, spouse visa much easier. So that it would be better & easier for me to visit her in her home town (we met in Kiev originally as more going on there than Kherson where she is from).

Now reasons of it may be this or that aside I kind of find that FSW tend to be very obestinate when they settle upon something. Not just the girls I have met but others on this forum too.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2018, 03:12:44 PM »
This is a stupid question, devoid of the understanding that every woman is an individual, with her own unique perspectives and methods of resolving interpersonal conflict.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2018, 03:24:10 PM »
This is a stupid question, devoid of the understanding that every woman is an individual, with her own unique perspectives and methods of resolving interpersonal conflict.

'Adamantly Obstinate' is a phrase I think applies to most FSW :)
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2018, 03:26:26 PM »
No it doesn't, and I say that knowing probably 20 times more FSUW than do you, even lived in close quarters with dozens over the years.


However, if this is what you believe, then why are you seeking one?
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2018, 03:44:54 PM »
No it doesn't, and I say that knowing probably 20 times more FSUW than do you, even lived in close quarters with dozens over the years.


However, if this is what you believe, then why are you seeking one?

Well you're a woman not a man so you would likely not come across this woman to woman. I think it is more a woman to man interaction thing.

For me it is dealing with this one awkward issue as a potential stubbing bloxk as opposed to dealing with potentially many awkward issues in Western Women, well the dregs with mental problems left on sites like Match at any rate.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2018, 03:56:25 PM »
LOL.  Human traits are not so easily hidden.  The fact you even post this suggests you don't know the human condition very well.


Hmm, dregs  - does that include you?
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline krimster2

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2018, 04:07:14 PM »
Trench

you have the wrong approach...

you NEVER argue with your girl friend/spouse
NEVER about anything!!!

your role is to make sure SHE has a good time...
so that later she will show her appreciation to you
and then YOU will have a good time...

your good time is watching and making sure she has a good time
I truly do ENJOY making a woman happy
because I am in total anticipation of her future display of gratitude
(how do you think she will do that Trench?)

there’s no way of getting around the fact that this enterprise requires money Trench
to do it right, it sometimes requires a lot...
without a few thousand sterling that you can just spend whenever you want without worrying about it, I don’t know if it’s the right thing for you...

I am totally old skool as well
to me, you just walk right up to em and say “howdy”
oddly enough, I found that Kyiv and elsewhere you can just walk up to the hottest looking women, and talk to them for a few minutes and ask them out

my first dates in Kyiv were the cutest sweetest college girls you could ever imagine
I met them in the University, probably 1 out 4 of the students at Taras would be considered hot looking and is a great place to go and check them out

just for you Trench
here are the pics of my first girl fiends in Kyiv
both students at Taras Shavchenko Univ that I met on campus (it's a totally funky lookin place!)
just the sweetest, most natural girls, I ever met
and physically the most perfect erotic specimens of womanhood I had ever seen
they had a devastating effect on me
imagine one of these girls curled up naked in your lap...
 


« Last Edit: November 11, 2018, 04:26:22 PM by krimster2 »
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2018, 04:26:13 PM »
Hmm, dregs  - does that include you?

Oh bitchy!
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2018, 04:29:33 PM »
No, it is a fair question.  If every single woman on a dating site is somehow "lacking", then surely, every man is also somehow "lacking".


I doubt the above is the case, so then, you have to look inward, to determine what, in you, is attracted to, or attracts, "dregs".
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2018, 04:38:04 PM »
Trench

you have the wrong approach...

you NEVER argue with your girl friend/spouse
NEVER about anything!!!

your role is to make sure SHE has a good time...
so that later she will show her appreciation to you
and then YOU will have a good time...

your good time is watching and making sure she has a good time
I truly do ENJOY making a woman happy
because I am in total anticipation of her future display of gratitude
(how do you think she will do that Trench?)

there’s no way of getting around the fact that this enterprise requires money Trench
to do it right, it sometimes requires a lot...
without a few thousand sterling that you can just spend whenever you want without worrying about it, I don’t know if it’s the right thing for you...

I am totally old skool as well
to me, you just walk right up to em and say “howdy”
oddly enough, I found that Kyiv and elsewhere you can just walk up to the hottest looking women, and talk to them for a few minutes and ask them out

my first dates in Kyiv were the cutest sweetest college girls you could ever imagine
I met them in the University, probably 1 out 4 of the students at Taras would be considered hot looking and is a great place to go and check them out

just for you Trench
here are the pics of my first girl fiends in Kyiv
both students at Taras Shavchenko Univ that I met on campus (it's a totally funky lookin place!)
just the sweetest, most natural girls, I ever met
and physically the most perfect erotic specimens of womanhood I had ever seen
they had a devastating effect on me
imagine one of these girls curled up naked in your lap...

Wow, those girls are pretty nice looking Krim, I bet you sure did enjoy you're time with them :)

Yeah, your definitely right on the not arguing with them thing, a reasoned discussion is fine but the moment it decends into arguing it's a downward spiral. Arguing with a FSW I have learnt is a pointless endeavour that achieves nothing and only damages the relationship and if done enough irreparably. Hence why I ask the question how else it can be resolved.

I know the girl I met last year seemed very much along the lines of you buy her clothes & you're rewarded later. There was no formal agreement as such it was just the way things were. I'm not sure if all FSW are like this though. Some guys here such as 2tallbill seem to have gotten FSW that aren't so geared that way on that they don't need to buy them stuff alot. I'm sure a lot of Ukrainian men are too skint to buy their ladies much if anything at all. Compared to the I no doubt have a lot more spending power.

Do you think a FSW may be more compromisable if I were to treat her? or just the same?
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2018, 04:40:27 PM »
If you want a relationship built on what you can "buy", then you are going to have to up your game significantly. 
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2018, 04:41:15 PM »
No, it is a fair question.  If every single woman on a dating site is somehow "lacking", then surely, every man is also somehow "lacking".


I doubt the above is the case, so then, you have to look inward, to determine what, in you, is attracted to, or attracts, "dregs".

The men may not be on the top league so far as women judge men but most have not got bizarre mental problems.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline krimster2

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2018, 04:41:51 PM »
"Do you think a FSW may be more compromisable if I were to treat her? "

yes, but life is always give and take
better to arrive at a deeper understanding of a woman
why she likes what she likes
why she wants what she wants
you do that by asking nicely...
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #15 on: November 11, 2018, 04:43:44 PM »
If you want a relationship built on what you can "buy", then you are going to have to up your game significantly.

Indeed, I already had that and feared I might run out off money long before marrying, having kids with the girl, etc.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #16 on: November 11, 2018, 04:45:41 PM »
The men may not be on the top league so far as women judge men but most have not got bizarre mental problems.

I highly doubt that of the thousands of WW listed on a dating website, every single one has mental problems.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online 2tallbill

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2018, 05:09:32 PM »
Some guys here such as 2tallbill seem to have gotten FSW that aren't so geared that way on that they
don't need to buy them stuff alot. I'm sure a lot of Ukrainian men are too skint to buy their ladies much
if anything at all. Compared to the I no doubt have a lot more spending power.

Do you think a FSW may be more compromisable if I were to treat her? or just the same?

Trench,

I got Angel Eyes to fall in love with me. That is a step you are trying to bypass. I talked to
Angel Eyes extensively every chance I could which is another step you are trying to bypass.
You won't find a girl like Angel Eyes because you can't skip steps with good girls. They will
kick you to the curb and move on. The girls who are left aren't the ones you would want. 

Put your index finger on your forehead and then you will have identified the problem.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #18 on: November 11, 2018, 10:13:58 PM »
Could be anything,


And you will have to judge it  on a  case by case basis. Re the example with  visiting the UK vs. visiting Ukraine.THere was a good chance she was embarrassed about her living accomodations, or parents (could be a drinking problem with mom or dad etc).   It was easy to resolve, there was no point  for argueing - you should have let her try and get a visa.
Kaplah!

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #19 on: November 12, 2018, 04:10:49 AM »
Trench,

I got Angel Eyes to fall in love with me. That is a step you are trying to bypass. I talked to
Angel Eyes extensively every chance I could which is another step you are trying to bypass.
You won't find a girl like Angel Eyes because you can't skip steps with good girls. They will
kick you to the curb and move on. The girls who are left aren't the ones you would want. 

Put your index finger on your forehead and then you will have identified the problem.

You could well be right there Bill, I normally ask about the usual stuff, hobbies, Interests, family, holidays, pets, etc, etc but I don't think I often get deep enough with many a subject or the girls life in general. I quite often start running dry of stuff to say/ask quite possibly repeating myself of trying to rack my brain for something we haven't talked about yet.

Getting to a place where I feel I really know the girl her inner life and somewhat connected to it is I think a hurdle I haven't jumped over yet with a FSW. How to do this I havent been quite sure other than spending time where she lives. I think Krimster's advice may help with getting more out of a girl,

"better to arrive at a deeper understanding of a woman why she likes what she likes why she wants what she wants"

Do you think?
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #20 on: November 12, 2018, 04:18:13 AM »

And you will have to judge it  on a  case by case basis. Re the example with  visiting the UK vs. visiting Ukraine.THere was a good chance she was embarrassed about her living accomodations, or parents (could be a drinking problem with mom or dad etc).   It was easy to resolve, there was no point  for argueing - you should have let her try and get a visa.

I know she lived in a concrete tower/tenement block like many Ukrainians. When I brought up a general conversation about this architecture she almost kind of whinced/ seemed uneasy so it could well be. She lived with her brother & sister on law so it was apparently not an easy situation. That said I wouldn't have minded not visiting where she lived just the city though perhaps it still made it too close to home for her. Apparently there is not a lot to Kherson so she did query with me why I wanted to go there/what I would be doing there.

Yeah I think with hindsight applying for a visa would have been the easiest option despite her almost certainly not being able to get it so pointlessly throwing away more money.
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline krimster2

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #21 on: November 12, 2018, 07:07:59 AM »
Trench,

let me explain to you, how I think you were beginning to be on “the road to success”
but got side-tracked...

you got past the initial meet, ok, GOOD!

but you fell short at the next step, because of two issues...

1. lack of money
2. lack of understanding

if it’s within reason, you ALWAYS get for her what she wants!

she wants to come to the UK, you send her money to apply for a visa and pay for all her travel expenses
and of course she will “be staying with you” (“wink” “wink”)

then you ask her, what should we do if you can’t get a visa to the UK
and you have a backup plan - my favorite would be Istanbul, but she MIGHT be able to get an EU visa, in which case suggest Amsterdam!

the lack of understanding relates to how UW communicate or not communicate
they are NOT very good at a “dialog” type of communication, especially if there is a significant language issue. 

women communicate to men through their emotions...
you need to read them the way you “read the sky” to determine the weather

in your case...
either this woman DID NOT want to bring you to her home
either because there is something she didn’t want YOU to see
or she didn’t want someone to see YOU
alternatively, the woman has never been out of Ukraine, and part of her desire for hooking up with a foreigner is to travel...

Trench, these women will always “pay you back” in their own way
for whatever you do for them
it’s how this works

if you ain’t got no “quid”
don’t expect any “quo” bruv





« Last Edit: November 12, 2018, 07:23:33 AM by krimster2 »
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #22 on: November 12, 2018, 02:29:42 PM »
Trench,

let me explain to you, how I think you were beginning to be on “the road to success”
but got side-tracked...

you got past the initial meet, ok, GOOD!

but you fell short at the next step, because of two issues...

1. lack of money
2. lack of understanding

if it’s within reason, you ALWAYS get for her what she wants!

she wants to come to the UK, you send her money to apply for a visa and pay for all her travel expenses
and of course she will “be staying with you” (“wink” “wink”)

then you ask her, what should we do if you can’t get a visa to the UK
and you have a backup plan - my favorite would be Istanbul, but she MIGHT be able to get an EU visa, in which case suggest Amsterdam!

the lack of understanding relates to how UW communicate or not communicate
they are NOT very good at a “dialog” type of communication, especially if there is a significant language issue. 

women communicate to men through their emotions...
you need to read them the way you “read the sky” to determine the weather

in your case...
either this woman DID NOT want to bring you to her home
either because there is something she didn’t want YOU to see
or she didn’t want someone to see YOU
alternatively, the woman has never been out of Ukraine, and part of her desire for hooking up with a foreigner is to travel...

Trench, these women will always “pay you back” in their own way
for whatever you do for them
it’s how this works

if you ain’t got no “quid”
don’t expect any “quo” bruv

Thanks Krimster, kind of wish you were around at the time it was happening as would have been a lot clearer to me as at the time was all a bit strange to me.

So I'm guessing then a girl (FSW) generally needs to like you if she's asking you for stuff (I mean not real expensive stuff like 5-10,000 pound or dollar jewellery) at a reasonable(ish) price then she'll know that she will be returning the gesture in kind later that night or whenever. So if girl was not into you then she would not ask for stuff as otherwise you might expect what she doesn't want to give?

This of course tends to be very different in the UK, I'm not saying some girls don't kind of do this but it seems far less of a general convention. Here gifts or stuff can be asked for without anything intimate expected in return.

I think you are right as to my understanding of FSW, it has been getting better along the way. I kind of thought after girl last year that arguing with girl is thing to avoid so it's good to hear you saying the same as I think I'm going along the right track now. Your point on them not being into dialog also chimes with the girl I was with last year and most of them I met I guess. I appreciate your input on that it's certainly a point for me to remember and adjust for.

The money side too, well I'm working on that and hope for some uplift next year on that. With the girl last year it was starting to be a case of not knowing how long I would have to stump up and also if she was just taking me for a ride ( not literally ;) ) If it were a girl in the west many would deem it as that so what you say is a new concept for me since you've come on here. It's great to have someone on here that know the culture well and you're a real asset to have on RWD Krimster  :)
« Last Edit: November 12, 2018, 02:33:34 PM by Trenchcoat »
No Deal is Ideal :)

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #23 on: November 12, 2018, 02:54:43 PM »
Oh, Amsterdam wouldn't have worked with her though as she didn’t like smoking/pot smoking. I am not a fan either though Amsterdam is such a lovely place I would put up with it. Copenhagen is also a favourite of mine, a little like Amsterdam but without the casual weed smoking. Copenhagen has a very clean feel and a lot of English speakers too. Only ever been to Istanbul Airport but would love to explore the city, maybe this year perhaps :)
No Deal is Ideal :)

Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: What to do if she won't back down?
« Reply #24 on: November 12, 2018, 02:55:33 PM »

So I'm guessing then a girl (FSW) generally needs to like you if she's asking you for stuff (I mean not real expensive stuff like 5-10,000 pound or dollar jewellery) at a reasonable(ish) price then she'll know that she will be returning the gesture in kind later that night or whenever. So if girl was not into you then she would not ask for stuff as otherwise you might expect what she doesn't want to give?



 THis is one step short of  prostitution what you describe.  Yuk..
Kaplah!

 

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