It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Just another introduction  (Read 8686 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6103
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #100 on: January 18, 2019, 02:13:25 PM »
Thought the guy was talking about a girl he was actually with, lol. Now I recall it having you mentioned it GQ, DC was just messaging the girl but couldn't visit for quite some time.

So of course the girl will not want to disclose where she works, she won't want any weird communication from some random guy with her workplace, stands to reason. Even as a guy I wouldn't want this from disclosing to a girl where I worked, wouldn't want any awkwardness at work with them saying 'hey, we've got this message from.... (strange message) they obviously know you, whats it all about????'

That's even before you get to all the men she may message over time, if she told each one where she worked she could be plagued with her workplace recieving all sotrs of strange messages from a load of weird wacko's.


DC, if you are trying to check whether the girl is a sincere girl there are other ways to do it. You can't expect to give her info that may compromise her way of life to someone who she's never physically met/relatively new to her. So its not a Red Flag, I'm not saying all is sound, but its not a sign at your stage in relations with this girl.

Generally, if she sends you serious down to earth messages she's likely ok, learn what the other subtle ways of checking if she is sincere are and go by that. Don't expect to feel entitled to know everything about the girl from the word go as a relative stranger to her, its basically her choice on what she wishes to disclose to you and when. So an appropriate time & place for everything as they say.

Every woman I have ever dated told me where they worked.   Every FSU woman told me what she did for a living.    The only women who won't tell are those that have something to hide.   I had a woman who was a bit worried about telling me who she worked for.   So she told me what she did for a living, but not the company where she worked.   

IIRC she worked as the accountant and verification person who put grain on ships.   After she made her comments, her boss would come in and change the moisture content in the grain, altering the value of the grain and, essentially stealing money from the purchasers of the grain.   She quit the job to become a masseuse.   That is life in Ukraine.

The only good thing I see in what is reported about this relationship is that the woman is from Moscow.   It is rare that a Moscow woman needs to resort to tricking men into getting money from them.   There are so many other opportunities for employment.   Were I the OP, I would ask for her home address so I could send some flowers to her, then look up her address to see if it is legitimate.   Of course, send the flowers.   And don't use the PPL to send them.   There are a good number of honest florists working in the Moscow area.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline DCcowboy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 129
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #101 on: January 19, 2019, 01:20:22 PM »
When I have dated Ladies in the US it is always something that comes up in the first date. But this is a totally different situation. I responded to her and subtitly told her that I understand and we had time to get to know each other deeper in time. It is three months now and unfortunately she does not want to do a short weekend visit and perfers to just wait until she gets her Visa or I can visit which unfortunately due to work project can't visit until June or May. My employer will not let me go any sooner.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2019, 01:25:46 PM by DCcowboy »

Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 734
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #102 on: January 19, 2019, 03:22:28 PM »
Well either she's low sex which is very unusual in the fsu  or she has a side sex game going on.   Or you're another sausage about to be minced.  Fsu dating can be brutal this isn't Kansas

Online SteveInBoston

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 312
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #103 on: January 19, 2019, 03:28:32 PM »
When I have dated Ladies in the US it is always something that comes up in the first date. But this is a totally different situation. I responded to her and subtitly told her that I understand and we had time to get to know each other deeper in time. It is three months now and unfortunately she does not want to do a short weekend visit and perfers to just wait until she gets her Visa or I can visit which unfortunately due to work project can't visit until June or May. My employer will not let me go any sooner.

Are you guys still on the ppl site for translations?

Offline DCcowboy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 129
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #104 on: January 19, 2019, 04:05:36 PM »
Are you guys still on the ppl site for translations?
Yes limited, and mostly Skype messaging.

Online jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6103
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #105 on: January 19, 2019, 04:29:32 PM »
Can anyone tell me if Clownfish has been supplanted by an auto translation feature in Skype?  If not, implement Clownfish on Skype.  It shows your original post, followed by the translation into (sic) Russian.

I will say this again:   Nothing has happened in this relationship until two people actually meet in person.   MLK is coming up on Monday.   Would have been a quick getaway weekend with an extra day due to the holiday.   I did such trips twice, both with tremendous success.   

So let's take stock here:

1.  Never met in person

2.  Woman does not confide in what she does for a living

3.  You volunteered to fly over for a short period of time.  She rebuffed the request.

4.  She wants to fly to the US, knowing full well that visas to the US are (in the least) difficult to obtain.

5.  She still has you communicating on a PPL site.

To any outsider looking in, this is a classic setup whereby she is playing you, either as a mule or as a goat.   You are still paying money to a PPL site, which may or may not be paying her.

I always said that a relationship gets stale after one month without direct contact.   You've now spent three months.   Time to either meet in person or find someone else.  Believe you me, there are plenty of women out there.   The investment that you have in this woman should bear fruit or be terminated.

I, personally, think she has a different motive rather than wanting a long term relationship.

One last thought that everyone on this forum will likely agree with:

The meeting (and possibly sex) is only the first stage of the relationship.   Once you meet (and possibly even get married) the real work begins.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4135
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #106 on: January 19, 2019, 05:24:48 PM »
DC, your ladies position sounds BS to me. What reason does she have not to meet you on a weekend? After all you would be making all the effort and expense to get there. You both could work out if there is anything between the two of you within the first half hour or so of meeting. If there wasn't any chemistry there then you both benefit in not feeling tied to each other for the week. Explain this to her if she has problems with it. Personally though I think you are being played. She has been told to only accept guys for a week minimum so your stuck there with her squeezing all the money she can out of you, that or as you've told her your difficulties of getting a week of sooner she is using it to last communication out.

I would say get of PPL and find another girl on a free dating website if she won't agree to meet you for a weekend. There's so many girls out there in the FSU on free dating websites who won't give you all that BS and will happily meet you for a weekend or whatever.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline DCcowboy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 129
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #107 on: January 30, 2019, 06:39:01 PM »
She did her visa interview, they held to stats and denied her application. I have not heard from her since her message saying she was upset that it was denied. If she comes back and asks for money I won't be following up with her. But I am guessing she won't. We had a back up plan for Belgium. So we will see what happens now.

Online SteveInBoston

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 312
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #108 on: January 30, 2019, 07:20:48 PM »
Sorry to hear that, DC.  As Bill says, Udachi!  Keep us up to date, if you can.

Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 734
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #109 on: January 30, 2019, 07:49:19 PM »
dccowboy how long since this woman last messaged ?  Thanks for being honest as I think many people post about the good results rather than all the results.

Offline Davo2

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 179
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #110 on: January 30, 2019, 08:08:33 PM »
Fast track your back up plan.... We had one too, but it was 6 months after her visa was denied (only time she could get off work) and in that time her feelings changed, mainly due to the disappointment you're experiencing. Eventually we stopped talking completely for a few months, but now it's getting close to me visiting, things have turned around.

Online msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6792
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #111 on: January 30, 2019, 09:54:22 PM »


I always said that a relationship gets stale after one month without direct contact. 

I first contacted SC in late October and we met in March the next year.....


 


The meeting (and possibly sex) is only the first stage of the relationship.   Once you meet (and possibly even get married) the real work begins.

Agreed  - yet you refer to two tremendously successful  [ long weekend ] trips  - So you've been married to a FSUW - twice ?

" Would have been a quick getaway weekend with an extra day due to the holiday.   I did such trips twice, both with tremendous success.  "

Please define 'success"

Offline DCcowboy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 129
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #112 on: February 14, 2019, 09:26:53 AM »
We have our plans set. It will be Spain in July. Despite what other's have posted we have not gotten distant in our communication.  Btw just correct some previous post she did tell what she did for a living, and is very open about what she does during the day. And we are communicating almost 90% on Skype, we only use the ppl site about once a week, for long letters.
 I was reading another post from a member who I believe he said he was in the coast guard from several years back that was using a agency and has ended up being long term marriage. But this was also a example of someone "paying to play" how is this different than a ppl site?

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4135
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #113 on: February 14, 2019, 10:02:06 AM »
Varies, most/nearly all guys that use ppl get ripped off. Every once in a while a guy gets lucky or at the extreme is canny enough to make it work, the latter of two is even more rare. Often you get guys who think they are clever/experienced enough but come to find out their not.

Of the few that get lucky most of them just find on meeting there is a lot of natural chemistry. Of course there is also the situation where a girl is just interested in a guys wealth or getting a green card. BillyB has pointed to the issue that an agency girl is always an agency girl if she is indeed an actual agency girl and not a general sign up, i.e an actual agency girl will have poor character to do the business she does.

So the long and the short is if you use ppl you are already stacking the odds heavily against you with all the negatives they often entail.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline ML

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8843
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #114 on: February 14, 2019, 10:50:51 AM »
. . . we only use the ppl site about once a week, for long letters.
 

But why ???

Use of ppl is completely unnecessary.
You have each others private contact info . . . yes?
And there are numerous free translation programs if needed.

Continued use of ppl at this stage of your relationship is a huge red flag.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline rmcmonty

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #115 on: February 14, 2019, 11:16:17 AM »
  I was reading another post from a member who I believe he said he was in the coast guard from several years back that was using a agency and has ended up being long term marriage. But this was also a example of someone "paying to play" how is this different than a ppl site?

DC - I was and am a Retired Coastie. The big difference here is: The year my wife and I met was 2001. In her city, there were only a few agencies set up. Since SKYPE and other applications were not available and wife did not have her own computer, the agency was our only way, other than the phone to communicate. Things were different back then. I thought PPL stood for "Pay Per Letter." To this day, I had no idea of how much I was being charged. We did drop the agency, after our marriage in Russia, to the phone, since I didn't need their services any longer.

Monty

Online jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6103
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #116 on: February 14, 2019, 01:42:58 PM »
Cannot believe that the OP has not engaged one of the many (free) services for translation.   It is so simple and, yet, he still stands by his usage of PPL.

I would be curious to know:

1.  How much he is paying PPL per week.

2.  What would happen if he suggested that they us a different service for translation.

3.  Who suggested that they stay with PPL for 'long letters'.

We have had 'advocates' who got paid for being an intermediary between two correspondents in the past.   But those were true advocates who actually went on Skype with the correspondents simply to assist in communication.  Some of them worked out really well and for a fraction of the cost of using PPLs.   But using an agency PPL is like subjecting yourself to unnecessary expense coupled with the interjection of a third party who's sole purpose is to continue the correspondence, not encourage dating success.

As ML says, the RED FLAG is blindingly obvious to all those experienced in this endeavor.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online Hammer2722

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1439
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Belarus
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #117 on: February 14, 2019, 03:10:45 PM »
But why ???

Use of ppl is completely unnecessary.
You have each others private contact info . . . yes?
And there are numerous free translation programs if needed.

Continued use of ppl at this stage of your relationship is a huge red flag.

I totally agree with this. Why on earth would you still need to communicate via PPL even just once if you have Skype, email, etc....?
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline JayH

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5589
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking > 5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #118 on: February 14, 2019, 03:17:44 PM »
And we are communicating almost 90% on Skype, we only use the ppl site about once a week, for long letters.


A few have queried why this way -- so - a fwiw !
It is possible -- that she has obligations to the web site ie she needs to keep some action there to stay listed -- or may owe them in some way or  another.

Second --it does not necessarily cost anything more than a flat monthly fee to write there ie it is not a cost each time.

Stating the obvious -- it would be simple enough to do all communication through Skype -- but -- why not email?
Does the op have an email address?
A phone number?
Her full name?
Even if a no on each count -- I do not necessarily call all that a no no !

I am far more bothered by the meeting in another country  issue -- it creates a very false situation  and would give me little confidence in her bona fides.

Translation these days is a simple thing --even in comparison  to a few years ago --let alone 20 years ago.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline DCcowboy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 129
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #119 on: February 16, 2019, 11:41:09 AM »
My entire life I have always feel into that 1%..... Good and bad, fingers crossed it is holding true with this. I know from the way she writes and what she has and has not said she is at least a authentic person. For example I have read if they jump into the love talk to quickly, probably a scam, she has never said anything about that and as previously stated  mutual decision to use this ppl site we had 5 or 6 we looked at and via email mutually agreed to this one. When I have dated let's say unonline I pay for everything on dates and this is cheaper than that for sure. I good since of people. She has not asked for money, won't let me even send her anything. I think at some point faith and trust come into play. I am moving us away from ppl and into Skype.


Online LAman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1919
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #120 on: February 16, 2019, 11:46:28 AM »
My entire life I have always feel into that 1%..... Good and bad, fingers crossed it is holding true with this. I know from the way she writes and what she has and has not said she is at least a authentic person. For example I have read if they jump into the love talk to quickly, probably a scam, she has never said anything about that and as previously stated  mutual decision to use this ppl site we had 5 or 6 we looked at and via email mutually agreed to this one. When I have dated let's say unonline I pay for everything on dates and this is cheaper than that for sure. I good since of people. She has not asked for money, won't let me even send her anything. I think at some point faith and trust come into play. I am moving us away from ppl and into Skype.

Cheaper????
Have you ever spent 2-3 thousand on a date before??? Never mind the costs of your communication......
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Online jone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6103
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #121 on: February 16, 2019, 01:06:33 PM »
My entire life I have always feel into that 1%..... Good and bad, fingers crossed it is holding true with this. I know from the way she writes and what she has and has not said she is at least a authentic person. For example I have read if they jump into the love talk to quickly, probably a scam, she has never said anything about that and as previously stated  mutual decision to use this ppl site we had 5 or 6 we looked at and via email mutually agreed to this one. When I have dated let's say unonline I pay for everything on dates and this is cheaper than that for sure. I good since of people. She has not asked for money, won't let me even send her anything. I think at some point faith and trust come into play. I am moving us away from ppl and into Skype.
2

What a joke.  Skype has an auto translate feature that takes everything typed in on one language and translates it into the other, with a copy of the original language post above it. 
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4135
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #122 on: February 16, 2019, 02:23:38 PM »
My entire life I have always feel into that 1%..... Good and bad, fingers crossed it is holding true with this. I know from the way she writes and what she has and has not said she is at least a authentic person. For example I have read if they jump into the love talk to quickly, probably a scam, she has never said anything about that and as previously stated  mutual decision to use this ppl site we had 5 or 6 we looked at and via email mutually agreed to this one. When I have dated let's say unonline I pay for everything on dates and this is cheaper than that for sure. I good since of people. She has not asked for money, won't let me even send her anything. I think at some point faith and trust come into play. I am moving us away from ppl and into Skype.

Is she paying the airfare to Spain or have you bought her tickets?

I don't entirely agree with the others. I think the ppl and early holiday are not great choices to make early on, the holiday in particular may turn out to be a mistake that dooms the relationship.That said it's probably not inconcievable to do it like you do and for it to work out, for some.

I believe from earlier post on here you are quite a wealthy was the impression I got. If so a bit of money spent which is probably nothing to you is being a bit alarmist to get all wrapped up in as would usually be the case. I would suggest you just press ahead as you are and be content with the choices you've made. The railroad tracks have already been lain and I think you would learn nothing by backing out now or changing tack. I think you've staked your bet and it will either work out for you or it won't. If it doesn't at least you'll have a better bearing of where to work from next time and that can be worth the time and expense of what you're undertaking alone.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2015
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #123 on: February 16, 2019, 02:27:18 PM »
A holiday cannot "doom" a relationship.  It does mean you aren't necessarily seeing the real person, as on vacations, the day to day life of a person is not necessarily on display.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3407
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Just another introduction
« Reply #124 on: February 16, 2019, 03:43:28 PM »
“situational awareness” in Spain!
petty thievery of all kinds has become distressingly common
pick pockets, luggage thieves
keep a low profile, look like a broke tourist who can barely afford McD’s, no expensive jewelry displayed, etc.

don’t fall for the scam of some African guys trying to sell you a little 12 yr old girl
and think that you’re just gonna buy her and then set her free and she’ll run home to mama and live happily ever after, it’s a scam and she’s in on it, possibly even the mastermind...

and this is just the first 40 minutes of “happy Hour” in some random bar in Barcelona....
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 9962
Latest: drgames
New This Month: 6
New This Week: 1
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 487995
Total Topics: 19354
Most Online Today: 1423
Most Online Ever: 2480
(November 01, 2018, 05:22:05 PM)
Users Online
Members: 32
Guests: 1389
Total: 1421

+-Recent Posts

Re: Brexit good, bad or indifferent? by Boethius
Today at 08:23:14 AM

Best places to hunt by 2tallbill
Today at 08:18:17 AM

Re: Aeroflot and S7 by msmob
Today at 08:07:24 AM

Re: Best places to hunt by msmob
Today at 08:02:16 AM

Re: Aeroflot and S7 by Gator
Today at 07:59:57 AM

Airbnb and hotels by 2tallbill
Today at 07:59:48 AM

Re: Airbnb and hotels by msmob
Today at 07:46:54 AM

Re: Brexit good, bad or indifferent? by GQBlues
Today at 07:44:13 AM

Re: Best places to hunt by Gator
Today at 07:42:57 AM

Re: Brexit good, bad or indifferent? by msmob
Today at 07:42:46 AM

Powered by EzPortal