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Author Topic: Labido: Men vs. Women  (Read 683 times)

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Online jone

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Labido: Men vs. Women
« on: January 21, 2019, 09:59:38 AM »
I have read that men lose their sexual desire as they grow older, while women's desire increases.   I actually think this is a good topic on this forum as I believe that reality is much more complicated.  Nonetheless, as the years pass, sexual activity diminishes between long established sexual partners.

I think, that as men grow older, their sexual drive does not diminish, but their sexual stamina has a tendency to diminish.   Thus the emergence of all of the wonder drugs and stimulants.   

Women, on the other hand, are distracted by their lives. 

What do you all think?
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2019, 10:45:43 AM »
It is said that men hit their sexual peak at about 18 and women in their mid 30s.
I believe with the right partner anything is possible.

Offline ML

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2019, 11:11:09 AM »
As is true of any topic regarding human behavior, we must stick with 'averages.'
Examples of individuals serves no purpose at all in such discussions.

The libido for the average man is above the libido for the average woman at all ages.
It decreases for both over time, but the man's decreases more proportionately than the woman's, even as it still stays above.

There are some other factors which can mask or give false impression regarding the above.

First for men, there are physiological factors that come into play which don't have anything to do with libido.  Standard intercourse requires a more or less stiff penis.  There can develop over time restrictions in the blood flow to the penis which lessens or even prevents the stiffening.  This leads many men to avoid having sex which is then often falsely interpreted as a diminished libido.  Women do not have to have any physiological transformation (analogous to the stiffening) in order to have standard sex, thus adding to false idea that the average woman's libido becomes greater than the average man's over time.  Note: This is not to say the woman doesn't need something to actually enjoy the sex, it's that she can engage in the sex act.  This physiological factor for men can become exacerbated by accompanying psychological problems because of worrying they cannot perform.

Second for women on average, they come to look forward to and enjoy sex more after age 35 or so and up until menopause or so.  But this is not due to an increase in libido.  It is due more to just 'letting go.'  Many, many factors here that women could better describe.  Some would be:  Children are out of the house; abandoning any ideas that they must resist; not desiring children so more use of birth control; complete knowledge about what leads to most and best orgasms; abandoning ideas about what are 'appropriate' sex activities; use of sex toys, etc., etc.

Moving a bit beyond average man and woman.
Picture two bell shaped curves beside each other with some overlap in the tails.
The libido for women is illustrated by the left bell curve and the men's by the right bell curve.
The average for men is higher, but the area where the left tail of the men's bell curve overlaps the right tail of the women's indicates the few (percentage wise) women who have higher libidos than the few (percentage wise) men.

Below is one of probably thousands of articles by those supposedly more learned.

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-libido-in-men#1

Men don't like to talk about it; neither do their partners. But loss of libido in men or inhibited sexual desire stresses a marriage more than any other sexual dysfunction, according to Barry McCarthy, co-author of Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages.

Losing interest in sex may not be as common an occurrence for men as it is for women: It affects about 15% to 16% of men, and at least double that many women. "But when men lose interest in sex it scares them more than women -- their masculinity is so linked to their sexuality that it is very threatening," says Esther Perel, a couples therapist in New York city and author of Mating in Captivity.

Loss of libido also makes men more unhappy about the rest of their lives than it does women. Only 23% of men with loss of libido say they still feel very happy about life in general vs. 46% of women, says Edward Laumann, professor of sociology at the University of Chicago co-author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. "It bothers men more."

But loss of libido is not something you have to live with. There is much you can do to regain your sex drive and your happy outlook on life.
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2019, 12:13:13 PM »
I have read that men lose their sexual desire as they grow older, while women's desire increases.   I actually think this is a good topic on this forum as I believe that reality is much more complicated.  Nonetheless, as the years pass, sexual activity diminishes between long established sexual partners.

I think, that as men grow older, their sexual drive does not diminish, but their sexual stamina has a tendency to diminish.   Thus the emergence of all of the wonder drugs and stimulants.   

Women, on the other hand, are distracted by their lives. 

What do you all think?

Male sexual desire remain prevalent regardless of age. It's the faculty that diminishes. In some (many) cases, their target or objects of their desires switches as they age i.e. extreme example are pedophiles.
~Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people~ Gator :P

Online Gator

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2019, 09:10:25 PM »
Jone,

You are advancing in years, and perhaps you may worry about the future.  If so, relax because your spelling of this thread's title suggests the dreams of labia are dominating your every thought   :cheesy:

I am a senior citizen.  Sex is comparable to my golf game.  My driving distance has declined, and my putting stroke is a little shaky.  I need some accommodations such as playing from the white tees.  After a game I need a recovery period; I can no longer play 36 holes in one day nor 4 days in a week.  Yet, I can still birdie 1-3 holes per round, and on some of my limited number of days, I am the champion! 

What is important is to make the intimacy even more special, to treasure your wonderfully precious partner. and to feel the love.   

Do not worry about older women.  When I divorced from my American wife, I dated some young women and some around my age (yes, post-menopausal).  I encountered a couple of cougars who wore me out and  probably left only partially satisfied although too polite to say anything.   One was like a man - wham bam, no cuddling, no small talk....good bye.  I guess the women who lost interest in sex were not dating or at least not dating me.  And with modern medicine, today's women are benefiting in many ways from laser vaginal rejuvenation to include improved secretions and even ejaculations.   

I hear stories of men my age or younger who are not interested in sex.  Perhaps its their hormones.  Perhaps its the feelings they retain for their deceased wife of a long marriage (one of my friends).   

Less faculty for sex?  Pharmacology!  One friend shared with me his case that should give hope to all.     He had bladder cancer, so the surgeon removed it and while there removed his prostate.   After a long rest and recovery, he injected his penile shaft.  He and his wife had fun with Mr. Happy; however, Mr. Happy became overexcited, so much he had to go to the ER with a priapism.   Yep, out came a hypodermic needle to syringe the blood.    His urologist suggested next time he should dial back the dosage.

   

Online jone

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2019, 09:31:51 PM »
Jone,

You are advancing in years, and perhaps you may worry about the future.  If so, relax because your spelling of this thread's title suggests the dreams of labia are dominating your every thought   :cheesy:

I am a senior citizen.  Sex is comparable to my golf game.  My driving distance has declined, and my putting stroke is a little shaky.  I need some accommodations such as playing from the white tees.  After a game I need a recovery period; I can no longer play 36 holes in one day nor 4 days in a week.  Yet, I can still birdie 1-3 holes per round, and on some of my limited number of days, I am the champion! 

What is important is to make the intimacy even more special, to treasure your wonderfully precious partner. and to feel the love.   

Do not worry about older women.  When I divorced from my American wife, I dated some young women and some around my age (yes, post-menopausal).  I encountered a couple of cougars who wore me out and  probably left only partially satisfied although too polite to say anything.   One was like a man - wham bam, no cuddling, no small talk....good bye.  I guess the women who lost interest in sex were not dating or at least not dating me.  And with modern medicine, today's women are benefiting in many ways from laser vaginal rejuvenation to include improved secretions and even ejaculations.   

I hear stories of men my age or younger who are not interested in sex.  Perhaps its their hormones.  Perhaps its the feelings they retain for their deceased wife of a long marriage (one of my friends).   

Less faculty for sex?  Pharmacology!  One friend shared with me his case that should give hope to all.     He had bladder cancer, so the surgeon removed it and while there removed his prostate.   After a long rest and recovery, he injected his penile shaft.  He and his wife had fun with Mr. Happy; however, Mr. Happy became overexcited, so much he had to go to the ER with a priapism.   Yep, out came a hypodermic needle to syringe the blood.    His urologist suggested next time he should dial back the dosage.

   

Gator,

As always, a spot of humor.  Thanks for that.

Don't know that this is specifically for me.  My sex drive is fine and I have a body that is aging much slower than my contemporaries.  So, I expect that my desire for sex will not abate for a long time.   

And I am happy to hear your putter is working well.

I think that reason that I thought this discussion might be a good one is that expectations of men traveling to the FSU might be adjusted if knowledge of what desire levels can be expected by hooking up with different age groups. 

My personal experience with FSU women is good.   I don't particularly want to go into details, but I will say that the traditional role of the female is well played by the women I have met. 

I was interested to read ML's perspective.   His previous posts on this subject has made him kind of an expert in my mind.   

I hope we continue this discussion as I think it is beneficial to the forum.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online msmob

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2019, 11:28:48 PM »
Interesting topic:

Best define Libido, first as some seem to confuse the DESIRE part ( Libido) with the ability to be physically sexully aroused

ML: I don't know that one can define 'average' in this matter  As a tennager and in my early twenties, I experienced desire a lot more - i.e. sexual thoughts were there - even when sleeping near constantly !! ;)

I had a vasectomy in my v.early forties and this was just about unheard of in FSU circles - with most women believing it might lower my 'abilities' ... 

I'm nearly in my sixties and my partner in her fifties - so talk of 'the change' in women is something that might be relevant, not that I've noticed any with SC, yet ...  It seems that most on here are not with such 'old' ladies )))

Jone:   what the ... is this bollox ? "...the traditional role of the female is well played by the women I have met.  "

Define this 'tradition' ?  Subservient, willing, dominating compliant ?


Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2019, 02:12:53 AM »
A female friend when she ended up divorced by surprise interviewed all her friends male and female and got many responses from both sexes.  The un happy couples where where a high sex drive person had married a low sex drive person.  High and low sex drives seemed to be split 50 50 between men and women.   Personally  I didn't know I was high sex drive until divorced because I was just living life.  Myself having sex with someone I love is akin to flying with the angels and someone I don't love is something to be avoided and actually feels bad.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2019, 06:57:49 AM »
I have read that men lose their sexual desire as they grow older, while women's desire increases.   I actually think this is a good topic on this forum as I believe that reality is much more complicated.  Nonetheless, as the years pass, sexual activity diminishes between long established sexual partners.

I think, that as men grow older, their sexual drive does not diminish, but their sexual stamina has a tendency to diminish.   Thus the emergence of all of the wonder drugs and stimulants.   

Women, on the other hand, are distracted by their lives. 

What do you all think?

Mid 50s male here, a few months ago I would have answered it diminishes, but after a recent trip I cant say that. In the metaphor Gator used, I (to my surprise)can still hit all the greens in regulation walking 36 holes with no wonder drugs needed (automatic 2 putt though, temp greens). BUT I can say sex is no longer an overwhelming 'must have' as it was years ago. I no longer make major decisions based on that need alone

I know on other threads the discussion of when and why to sleep with a date has been debated. Growing up in the US, I was conditioned to take to the hoop if I liked a girl. If I didn't, the next guy would and she would fall for him not me. The consequences was it meant instant relationship if you wanted to get to know her better. Next thing you know, you have wasted 3 years with a woman you had no intention of marrying because both wanted convenient intimacy. However the benefit, you can get out of the relationship at little or no cost. That's what made the FSU good for me, as I was forced to be more serious. At the time(26 years ago) I had ZERO competition, so I could find the perfect lady(I had a list and didn't have to compromise) for me without getting stuck in a relationship where sex was the primary motivator

As for women? My experience tells me their labido has been the same as mine at the same age
« Last Edit: January 22, 2019, 07:26:17 AM by GenMish »

Offline The Natural

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2019, 09:52:58 AM »
Maybe sometimes it's not a case of libido but boredom, need for variation. Remember the words of Mr. Charlie Harper:
"For every beautiful woman there's a guy who's tired of banging her".

Offline ML

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2019, 09:48:11 PM »
Quote from: jone Yesterday at 11:31:51 PM

"I was interested to read ML's perspective.   His previous posts on this subject has made him kind of an expert in my mind."

- - - - - - - - - -
Jon, I only claim expertise in putting forth maximum effort to maximize pleasure of the woman.
Most men will not do this.
Below is a repost from a few years back illustrating one example of how this can be accomplished.

- - - - - - - - -  -

Note, I resisted sharing this for many years as I didn't want other men using it with perhaps the same woman that I might be pursuing.

But now that likelihood is long past, so I can be generous.

This food and related procedures are almost guaranteed to endear you to your woman.

SHRIMP SAUTE   (OR CHICKEN)

One-half pound large (31-35 count or bigger) shrimp, peeled, deveined and rinsed.
One-half pound sea scallops, side muscles removed.
One-half cup extra virgin olive oil.
One-half cup white wine.
One-fourth cup scallions, thinly sliced.
(Can substitute one-half teaspoon onion powder for scallions.)
One cup chopped tomatoes (fresh or canned).
Four cups fresh baby spinach.
Four cups cooked and lightly oiled angel hair pasta.
Two tablespoons chopped fresh basil or oregano.
(Can substitute one tablespoon dried basil or oregano for fresh.)
One tablespoon seafood seasoning.
Two tablespoons chopped garlic.
One half cup butter.
Salt and pepper.
- - - - -
Prepare pasta and heat spinach.
Toss shrimp and scallops with seasoning to coat well.
Preheat a large deep skillet on high heat.
Add olive oil and continue to heat 30 more seconds.
Add shrimp and scallops carefully to avoid splatter.
Sear all seafood for 20 seconds on each side.
Add garlic and wine.  Stir and scrape sides of skillet.
Cook to reduce liquid wine by a third.
Add tomatoes and scallions.
Reduce heat to medium.
Add basil or oregano.
Simmer for one minute.
Fold in cooked pasta and butter.
Remove from heat and fold in warm spinach.
More sauce can be created from wine, olive oil, tomato juice, etc.

= = = = = = = = = =

WARNING . . . DON'T READ THE BELOW SEX PART and then complain later.

You first do your own showering, etc, and be ready for sexual maneuvers.

Then you start the food preparations before your woman is present.  For instance, I will do this tomorrow afternoon when my spouse is due to arrive home at around 2 PM.

When she arrives home, you take the lid off the deep skillet and have her take some large breaths in through her nose.  The smell is very intriguing and sexy.

Then while she is still standing, you perform manually to give her several pleasures, before sending her off to the showers and/or tub.  While there, she can use the hand held sprayer with a powerful single center stream option to achieve several more.  And/or she can use the Jacuzzi Jets to same effect.

Ask her to return wearing something sexy.  A very good choice is one of your blue men's shirts sans underwear.  Baby doll outfit with crotchless panties is great also.

Meanwhile, you keep working on the meal, set out the candles (two long slender candles have a very good romantic effect), place the matches nearby, get the music ready, set the table and arrange chairs in optimal positions, slice and butter the bread, open a bottle of white wine (Pinot Grigio preferred but Chardonnay works also) and pour some into two glasses.

When she returns to kitchen/dining area hand her the wine for a sip or two.  Then more manual work from you.  A very good position for quick and strong results is when she is leaning over the breakfast bar.  In this position, your thumb can have maximum effect on the G spot.  After first result, switch to fingers on C spot.  Repeat this cycle several times.  Don't whimp out and say your hand is getting tired.

You say what about your own pleasure . . . Hey, look, you are only going to have one (and that's going to occur a couple of hours later), whereas she can have dozens . . . so man-up here.

Then guide her into chair seat which has been covered with clean towel.  Light the candles, turn on the music, place the wine glasses and buttered bread on the table, fill plates at stove and bring to the table.

Put your chair very near to hers so that you can reach the important parts.  Don't get butter or sauce on the hand you will use several more times during the meal.  If she is capable (it takes quite a bit of practice for some women), she can squeeze her muscles to achieve results also and this procedure can be rotated with manual.

After the main meal, provide her with some chocolate or cheese cake along with some coffee or tea.

Then, on to the sofa with her in various positions to provide more pleasures for her.

Finally, off to the bed (king or at least queen size preferred) where you can think of yourself for the first time; but still,  don't neglect more for her.
Winston Churchill.  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Offline IvanMNG

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Re: Labido: Men vs. Women
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2019, 03:08:38 PM »
I have read that men lose their sexual desire as they grow older, while women's desire increases.   I actually think this is a good topic on this forum as I believe that reality is much more complicated.  Nonetheless, as the years pass, sexual activity diminishes between long established sexual partners.

I think, that as men grow older, their sexual drive does not diminish, but their sexual stamina has a tendency to diminish.   Thus the emergence of all of the wonder drugs and stimulants.   

Women, on the other hand, are distracted by their lives. 

What do you all think?

So you think when you're 70, you won't get it up anymore for a 20yo playmate?

Gimme a break.

Yes, men lose their desire. To sleep with ugly, old women. If I were stuck with the same woman for 20+ years, my dick would refuse service too. It's your body's natural reaction and warning sign: "do not procreate with that woman".

Give any old man a young woman and he'll be pumping away like he was 18 again.

I'm not saying that's realistic. But it puts things into perspective.

 

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