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Author Topic: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?  (Read 9420 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #125 on: March 12, 2019, 02:54:08 PM »
I brlieve WMVM is daft....not immoral..based on MY preferences...not wanting to go a long way and have a 'blind' date...

Of course sex came up and would we stay in the saame place, etc.

One simply cannot achieve that with a VM...

NO back up plan(s) were needed...

The worst part of VM is not knowing beforehand whether she may be an insincere girl of the worst kind. That can be established during the meet usually unless she is particularly clandestine about it. Most show their true colours soon enough out that way. So once you've met a few FSW it's usually easier to weigh other ones up. The women probably have the same misgivings before meeting the guy so some may flake.

The best part of VM is that you get a surprise when you meet the girl in person for the first time. Particularly if you have not messaged each other much before. Every girl is different and a unique experience whether good or bad is still an interesting time to be had.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #126 on: March 12, 2019, 02:55:59 PM »
Pat,

I have a hundred times better social skills than Trench does

+100 to that ;D
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Offline Patagonie

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #127 on: March 12, 2019, 03:26:25 PM »
Surely everyone who is still looking for their FSU gal has read in detail and thought about the plan laid out in: Pursuing FSUW 101.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

I have followed that plan several times in several FSU cities and have always ended up with 10-15 gal to have first meetings with.  And I usually found 2-3 in each city who would have made a good wife for me and most any man.  Many (most) men here would have proposed during the first trip to these 2-3 (or more) gals.
But importantly, in virtually no instance was my beginning (pre-trip) number 1 gal in the final 2-3.
That suggests if I were on a WOVO trip, I probably would have ended up proposing to number 1, when interaction with more women made me realize the WOVO gal was not the best choice.
You can go down probably top 10 cities in either Russia or Ukraine and still find close to 1000 gals who meet your minimum criteria.

You don't use just one website, but rather virtually every website that is either free or has monthly subscription price for unlimited direct contact with all gals on the site.

The idea that WMVM is immoral is patently ridiculous AND the women are also doing it.
And both men and women do it within their own country.
Adding in travel to another country to do it, and suddenly it becomes immoral is beyond laughable.
+2
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline Patagonie

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #128 on: March 12, 2019, 03:30:25 PM »
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline Patagonie

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #129 on: March 12, 2019, 03:35:19 PM »
To Pat and others.
I have some disagreement, but depends on how 'talking about sex' is defined.

I also never talked about size of my equipment, asked to see her breasts, asked what positions she liked, etc., etc.

But I still got many women to indicate their interest in sex with me.

My tactic was very low key.

e.g. Sign off my 2nd or third message (this was back in the e-mail only era) with . . . 'kiss to your left cheek.'
Sign off next message . . . 'kiss to your right cheek.'
Next message . . .  'kiss to your neck.'

Not one woman ever told me that they didn't like this in my message, even as they never responded in kind.
But several picked up on it and started signing off with . . . 'kiss to you also, etc.'
Others got even more forward and said: 'I wonder where your next kiss will be on my body.'

Result . . . by the time I was arriving in country I knew that it was a virtual certainty that there would be sex with X number of women . . . even as I never mentioned the word sex or anything close to it.

And I did and still do rate those women as top flight, intelligent, professional grade women.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that the higher the grade of the woman, the more educated,  and the more confidence she had in herself, the more likely it was that there would be sex.
We don't have a major disagreement ML, you use what i would call "indirect references", a little upfront but that is this type of i wanted to talk about, you gave an example, interesting.
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline Patagonie

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #130 on: March 12, 2019, 03:54:40 PM »
Pat,

I have a hundred times better social skills than Trench does, but for my WOVO trips
I talked to most of them 90%+ about sex before I met them in person. Trench would
screw it up and sound weird but I can do with them laughing and smiling the entire time.
I will expand on this later, I must go on an errand with Angel Eyes and mini me

On my WMVM trips of course I didn't.
Happy for you, but you have to raise a level of comfort to bring this. But most guys don't have any connections (or they believe they have one but they don't) and they bring this crude to the lady thinking first about how their pole could be satisfied and two this will arouse her.

Example could be used with minimum of connection with a girl (half hour) :My garage gave me a second car to use, this car is a wreck. So if the lady comes with you you can say.
Oh the garage gave me this old car sorry. Entering in the car together. It's dirty and your seat is almost broken and itbarely cannot move. Smiling and enjoying your joke, this is the type of car where it's impossible to make love or you land in the emergencies, the neck broken, the back broken. Now it's time to see if she enjoys and play the game.So if she looks ok you continue :"you know as the windshield is already cracked i think it's possible to get more space by broking it definively. May you try with your shoe please ?" and so on, write the following sentences.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 04:11:59 PM by Patagonie »
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online msmob

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #131 on: March 12, 2019, 04:57:56 PM »
The worst part of VM is not knowing beforehand whether she may be an insincere girl of the worst kind. That can be established during the meet usually unless she is particularly clandestine about it. Most show their true colours soon enough out that way. So once you've met a few FSW it's usually easier to weigh other ones up. The women probably have the same misgivings before meeting the guy so some may flake.

Trench ...once again writing as if he has had a LTR with a FSU lass..Why are you posting as if you are some authority on the subject..?
The best part of VM is that you get a surprise when you meet the girl in person for the first time. Particularly if you have not messaged each other much before. Every girl is different and a unique experience whether good or bad is still an interesting time to be had.

So, we are back to recommending Blind dates? ...Why travel to meet a stranger?

We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline lyndontom

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #132 on: March 13, 2019, 01:29:35 AM »
So, we are back to recommending Blind dates? ...Why travel to meet a stranger?


Well Mob, now you bring it up...I think Trench is worried that with a WMVM he isn't able to encourage sufficient number of replies from women. If I plan a WM, I don't like to get to know the women too much simply to avoid wasting unnecessary time and energy beforehand.


Something I did when I had lots of time in Kiev was to use a website agency to simply arrange dates for me with women who fit the criteria and I was attracted to from their photos. No PPL or correspondence beforehand. For a few hundred quid, I was able to be lazy and kill some time by lining up dates with 6-10 women I would in all likelihood be attracted to, all in addition to meeting ladies via the mainstream ways.


Now, out of those ladies 5 would probably be there because the agency had paid them and were scammers. Three probably were not interested in me, or I was not interested in, or didn't look much like their old, air-brushed photos. But, there's always a chance that 1 or 2 would be very good matches and seemed like genuine women to pursue further. 


Historically I had chosen women I simply thought were 9 or 10's on the scale, even if they needed a terp, wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and even if they were in their teens. Lesson learnt. You can still control the variables. The older the lady, the less attractive, if she has children, etc are all likely to make her more serious, genuine and attainable. However, what you develop are one or two feasible options. In addition, you can meet some genuine interpreters who can steer you away from bad apples and help you out in the future. Occasionally there would be a woman I thought was incredible, but did not respond to messages or made excuses not to meet again - you have to be strong to that element of it. The rest I could take for what it was.


True story...In a different City I met one lady, several years ago now, who had asked to use a terp. She was extremely attractive, but because of the language issue and her shyness in the meeting, I didn't see it going anywhere. Not long after I had returned home, the lady contacted me directly to apologise for using the interpreter. She hadn't felt confident using her English, but said that during our initial meeting she had understood enough and been practising enough to feel like we could meet again alone. I had left Ukraine by that time, but we continue to stay in touch as friends several years later and it is interesting to see how her successful career and life have taken off via social media. She is one I do occasionally think 'what if?' or still maybe in the future...


Yes, there is a 'scam' element to it that you need to be wary of. Getting burnt by an agency is an inevitability if you use one but one you can minimise. I am categorically not advocating this as a stand-alone strategy. We can debate the history of Pat's ex-Mrs and why she changed; maybe or maybe not she was pre-disposed to what she did. Besides, I think Trench is too stingy to throw a few quid at this idea and is too distrusting of women and agencies in general to form a relationship this way. But, amongst these women you might find a hidden gem - you might just need to kiss a few frogs to find a princess.

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #133 on: March 13, 2019, 05:05:33 AM »
Trench ...once again writing as if he has had a LTR with a FSU lass..Why are you posting as if you are some authority on the subject..?
So, we are back to recommending Blind dates? ...Why travel to meet a stranger?

I'm just giving my opinion of what I have found Mobers. WMVM is not without its negatives, but these aren't that bad if you can get a WMVM sorted. A WMVO is good for a newbie as I did when I started as it's not a lot all at once and the girl kind of acts as an introducer to the FSU dating scene, hopefully in a good way and the FSU itself, kind of like a tour guide.

I would say to your questions, why not travel to meet a stranger? As 2tallbill points out his Angel Eyes was a stranger to him until he called her up.

Mainly I would say even meeting a VO girl for real that you have Skyped with and messaged a lot you still start as if you are strangers when you meet. Sat at the computer screen you just don't get that sort of real life walking around thing with her. Mobile Skype is possible and interesting but still not quite the same. Then there is the issue of chemistry, sure some guys get lucky and get chemistry with a VO first time but most of us don't. Chemistry can only really be found out on arrival. So why put all your eggs in one basket? VM and have many cracks at it on one trip rather than the expensiveness of meeting one girl at a time on each journey. Even for us Brits you're talking £1k a time or near enough even for quick weekends as most of the cost is in the travelling not so much the accommodation.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #134 on: March 13, 2019, 05:11:48 AM »

Well Mob, now you bring it up...I think Trench is worried that with a WMVM he isn't able to encourage sufficient number of replies from women. If I plan a WM, I don't like to get to know the women too much simply to avoid wasting unnecessary time and energy beforehand.


Something I did when I had lots of time in Kiev was to use a website agency to simply arrange dates for me with women who fit the criteria and I was attracted to from their photos. No PPL or correspondence beforehand. For a few hundred quid, I was able to be lazy and kill some time by lining up dates with 6-10 women I would in all likelihood be attracted to, all in addition to meeting ladies via the mainstream ways.


Now, out of those ladies 5 would probably be there because the agency had paid them and were scammers. Three probably were not interested in me, or I was not interested in, or didn't look much like their old, air-brushed photos. But, there's always a chance that 1 or 2 would be very good matches and seemed like genuine women to pursue further. 


Historically I had chosen women I simply thought were 9 or 10's on the scale, even if they needed a terp, wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and even if they were in their teens. Lesson learnt. You can still control the variables. The older the lady, the less attractive, if she has children, etc are all likely to make her more serious, genuine and attainable. However, what you develop are one or two feasible options. In addition, you can meet some genuine interpreters who can steer you away from bad apples and help you out in the future. Occasionally there would be a woman I thought was incredible, but did not respond to messages or made excuses not to meet again - you have to be strong to that element of it. The rest I could take for what it was.


True story...In a different City I met one lady, several years ago now, who had asked to use a terp. She was extremely attractive, but because of the language issue and her shyness in the meeting, I didn't see it going anywhere. Not long after I had returned home, the lady contacted me directly to apologise for using the interpreter. She hadn't felt confident using her English, but said that during our initial meeting she had understood enough and been practising enough to feel like we could meet again alone. I had left Ukraine by that time, but we continue to stay in touch as friends several years later and it is interesting to see how her successful career and life have taken off via social media. She is one I do occasionally think 'what if?' or still maybe in the future...


Yes, there is a 'scam' element to it that you need to be wary of. Getting burnt by an agency is an inevitability if you use one but one you can minimise. I am categorically not advocating this as a stand-alone strategy. We can debate the history of Pat's ex-Mrs and why she changed; maybe or maybe not she was pre-disposed to what she did. Besides, I think Trench is too stingy to throw a few quid at this idea and is too distrusting of women and agencies in general to form a relationship this way. But, amongst these women you might find a hidden gem - you might just need to kiss a few frogs to find a princess.

Thanks Lyndon, that is all true, I have been struggling to get the number of girls per a city I want to visit. I think I have found a way to up that a little now. I see your point with the agency girls but I would have to have a lot of time on my hands to kill to want to do that as like you say only 1 or 2 might be legit. If I can bring up girls online or even on the street that would probably be better as I get more legit girls to see, theoretically. I think we all take a good few years to get the hang of this FSU dating scene, an odd few get lucky early on but I think for most it's a bit of a journey. I'm guessing you've been looking longer than the 1-2 years as in your profile status ;)
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Offline ML

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #135 on: March 13, 2019, 09:05:41 AM »
I think we all take a good few years to get the hang of this FSU dating scene, an odd few get lucky early on but I think for most it's a bit of a journey.

I guess I was lucky or some such regarding 'getting the hang of FSU dating scene.'

Even surprised myself.

Background:  I had been married for a long, long, long time, so hadn't been in the dating scene anywhere since I was a late teenager.

I was quite concerned about how it would go.

As it turned out . . . there was absolutely zero transition time for me.

Reasons (I think):

In my professional finance/consulting career, I had been in constant close contact with hundreds of top flight women (men also, of course).

I had no trouble in talking with any woman (well of course there were some absolute bitches that I avoided where possible), joking with them, discussing some of their personal life including their love and sexual life (when they initiated such), etc., etc.

This same interaction with top flight business women continued when I began business visits to FSU in 1999.  (Note: Almost all my interactions with business persons in FSU were with those who had adequate English skills.  Any interpreters needed were employed at their expense.  This was because the USA firms I represented had what they wanted!!  The Golden Rule: Those who have the Gold make the rules).

Thus, when I started the dating scene in FSU, there was no 'getting the hang' of it.
It was just like going to a business meeting with a woman . . . except for what we mostly discussed and where we each wanted it to lead.

Final note:  I have virtually zero experience dating in USA.  I went straight for FSU because I rightly assumed I would be able to trade-up there in terms of the factors I wanted in a woman compared to what I could achieve in USA.  The same quality women were here in USA, but in much shorter supply  compared to demand, and I could not aspire to them because of age gap, attractiveness gap AND . . .  lack of an Economic Gap.

Actually there are some Economic Gap women available in USA, but those who are educated (yet in low paying professions, school teachers, social workers, etc.) are extreme left wingers.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #136 on: March 13, 2019, 09:59:49 AM »
I'm guessing you've been looking longer than the 1-2 years as in your profile status ;)


I made my first trip to Kiev in 2011 and naturally it piqued my interest in FSU and FSU women and I've visited a lot since. However, I haven't followed a sustained period of 'looking'. In that time I've also extensively dated and been in relationships with women domestically and during travel in SEA and Latin America. It just so happens that Ryanair will start low-cost flights next month to Kiev from Manchester, so Ukraine is flavour of the month for me again at the present time.

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How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #137 on: March 13, 2019, 12:31:11 PM »
So, we are back to recommending Blind dates? ...Why travel to meet a stranger?

Moby,

Everybody is not the same. Some people would prefer to lay eyes on somebody and
banter with them first to see if they have mutual chemistry instead of wasting a bunch
of time exchanging flowery letters.

You will say that exchanging letters is not a waste of time and for you it would be correct.
Others however don't do as well in that environment. Insisting that everyone is you isn't
realistic. Thank the Lord that everyone isn't Moby!

I've made many trips after I've spent a long time getting to know them and when I arrived
it didn't work out. Just because this didn't ever happen to you is an oddity. That is what
happens 90% of the time. However, it didn't happen to you so everyone must do as you
do or they are posting daft.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #138 on: March 13, 2019, 01:21:43 PM »
Some people would prefer to lay eyes on somebody and
banter with them first to see if they have mutual chemistry instead of wasting a bunch
of time exchanging flowery letters.

As you stated...we are not all the same and I believe in directness..Are you suggesting my WOVOs were accompanied with engagement rings?


You will say that exchanging letters is not a waste of time and for you it would be correct.
Others however don't do as well in that environment. Insisting that everyone is you isn't
realistic. Thank the Lord that everyone isn't Moby! 

I questioned the tactics of Trench.. specifically..do keep up


I've made many trips after I've spent a long time getting to know them and when I arrived
it didn't work out. Just because this didn't ever happen to you is an oddity. That is what
happens 90% of the time. However, it didn't happen to you so everyone must do as you
do or they are posting daft.

In this day and age indeed there is little excuse for two willing parties to get to know each other..other than how they smell and look like without clothes..so YES...your statement IS daft




We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

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How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #139 on: March 13, 2019, 02:23:08 PM »
VM strategy (visit many) is traveling to a target rich environment and meeting a bunch
of girls for coffee or tea and seeing if they have chemistry or not FIRST rather than last.
If you don't have mutual attraction you never see the girl again. If you don't like her smell,
her smoking even though she listed herself as a non smoker in her profile or anything else
you don't need to ever write a dozen letters to find out if you like the same things because
she is kicked to the curb.

If you aren't a good judge of character and if you can't make a decision then you should
not use the Visit Many strategy, because you need to decide whether a girl what it takes
based on a meeting in person over coffee. I can make that decision but some need time
to think and process, if you are the think and process guy then you need to visit one.

A VO strategy (visit one) is doing all the sorting while you are home. You can think of
things to delve into for a day and then spend an hour formulating a question or a comment.
Obviously you can't do that on the fly during a VM meeting. With a VO strategy you narrow
it down to the best girl and then go see her.

VO is high risk and it's high reward. If you are able to narrow it down to a great girl and when
you meet you hit if off, then you are a hundred miles ahead of the game. You have just spent
a lot of quality time with a great girl.

VM is low risk and low reward. You might meet 10 girls before you find an excellent match and
then how much time can you spend with them? How much time can they spend with you? You
are going to have to keep them interested while you are preparing for your next trip. Are you a
super shy type? This strategy is probably not the one for you.

Both these stratagems have advantages and weakness and it varies with what you are comfortable
with and your personality. I can go and meet 15 girls and make an assessment while meeting her 
and decide whether I will ever ask her out again in a few minutes. I can also make her laugh and
want to see me again as well.

So in my opinion each guy has to determine which strategy works best for him.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #140 on: March 13, 2019, 02:26:22 PM »
In this day and age indeed there is little excuse for two willing parties to get to know each
other..other than how they smell and look like without clothes..so YES...your statement IS daft

Yet in my estimation 75% of this board went on a first trip and were unsuccessful with that
girl. Are they all daft?

I set up a poll, it can be found here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=23543.0
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 02:42:34 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #141 on: March 13, 2019, 02:35:51 PM »
Moby,

Everybody is not the same. Some people would prefer to lay eyes on somebody and
banter with them first to see if they have mutual chemistry instead of wasting a bunch
of time exchanging flowery letters.

You will say that exchanging letters is not a waste of time and for you it would be correct.
Others however don't do as well in that environment. Insisting that everyone is you isn't
realistic. Thank the Lord that everyone isn't Moby!

I've made many trips after I've spent a long time getting to know them and when I arrived
it didn't work out. Just because this didn't ever happen to you is an oddity. That is what
happens 90% of the time. However, it didn't happen to you so everyone must do as you
do or they are posting daft.

That's exactly it, 90 percent of the time roughly for most people they don't meet a girl with chemistry. I got fed up of all the messages back and forth then disappointment at the end of it. Yes I still had a good time in most instances but it's not what I was really hoping for.

Nightwish told us he met with a girl there was chemistry with after roughly 25 VO visits I think it was. If we're talking £1k a visit then that is somewhere in the direction of £25k spent for an English guy. He might have spent less as Scandinavia is a bit closer, etc.

I don't know if Moby got lucky, just looking for a companion this time, waved his was or just used he's moany old temperament to get to the one. Like you say though bill even if it worked for him many others seem to not be able to accomplish the same. Perhaps he should become a Dating Agent if he's method is so successful :)
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #142 on: March 13, 2019, 04:00:35 PM »
That's exactly it, 90 percent of the time roughly for most people they don't meet a girl with chemistry. I got fed up of all the messages back and forth then disappointment at the end of it. Yes I still had a good time in most instances but it's not what I was really hoping for.

Nightwish told us he met with a girl there was chemistry with after roughly 25 VO visits I think it was. If we're talking £1k a visit then that is somewhere in the direction of £25k spent for an English guy. He might have spent less as Scandinavia is a bit closer, etc.

I don't know if Moby got lucky, just looking for a companion this time, waved his was or just used he's moany old temperament to get to the one. Like you say though bill even if it worked for him many others seem to not be able to accomplish the same. Perhaps he should become a Dating Agent if he's method is so successful :)

no, no - you got that all wrong

With my first VO everything was only wrong, she spoke no English, very VERY shy, almost 34 years old and a virgin, never dated a man since young teen and never had a relationship. She had a relative (aunt) who knew English and was the one pushing her to date a foreigner and also did all the translating (no fee)
Chemistry, well a very small amount but she was not ready to meet any man, much less someone who didn't speak her language. We are still talking sometimes, and she never went on another date and lives with her parents in a small village outside Kherson.

Second time I went over I ended up in a relationship for 6 months, there was instant chemistry after almost a month skyping every day and I really thought I nailed it, she had a child - father was absent - father got word about me and started demanding money to "release" his child - girl broke it up with me because she did not want to put me in that situation - when I am thinking back now, I would have paid if it had come down to it, she just never gave me that chance.

After that I made both VO and VM visits and combined ones - VO with backup plan VM.
I would say there was almost never a lack of chemistry - well I DID have a few of those dates also of course - but the ones I visited VO was almost always with due diligence before, I did a few exceptions when I just talked to them for maybe a week before getting on the plane.

So chemistry yes - but other factors that also played was a bigger cause to "failure".
 
but then I never called any of my dates a failure, I had a good time, met interesting people, got to see a lot of Ukraine, many interesting places, going on adventures and just had a good short vacation with often a beautiful lady as company. Who can call that a failure..
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline JayH

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #143 on: March 13, 2019, 04:19:55 PM »

but then I never called any of my dates a failure, I had a good time, met interesting people, got to see a lot of Ukraine, many interesting places, going on adventures and just had a good short vacation with often a beautiful lady as company. Who can call that a failure..

And right there is what I consider the major key --every minute is part of the process of learning and assessing  and the experiences in the process.
What all of Nightwish's posts have shown is respect -- that is RESPECT . Again today --there it is .Respect for women,Ukraine and the whole situation .
At no stage is he or has he expressed a "'superior" attitude or that he was "owed" anything at all .
Of note particularly --he did not rush into a relationship  .

I am at odds with those that think the major part is done before arrival -- all that preliminary time is to set up meeting suitable likely possibilities -- then time on the ground in real life meeting . Sometimes that can be less than 5 minutes to know if you want to continue- sometimes weeks. But -- every connection-be that electronic or real life is part of the process  and should not be seen as a failure as such.
The odds of the one week wonder and then get married being sensible in the long run is a ? . Sure --it is possible -- but reality says the odds are long.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #144 on: March 13, 2019, 04:34:50 PM »


This is Beel's opinion and certainly not my experience

 

VO is high risk and it's high reward. [

Actually, I found it is very LOW risk ..


VM is low risk and low reward.

Waste of time and effort and stressful.  Might as well go speed dating))

Both these stratagems have advantages and weakness and it varies with what you are comfortable
with and your personality. I can go and meet 15 girls and make an assessment while meeting her 
and decide whether I will ever ask her out again in a few minutes. I can also make her laugh and
want to see me again as well.

Trench does not have those social skills..period..

So in my opinion each guy has to determine which strategy works best for him.

Udachi!

Bill

So why write like WMVM is the route to go?

In Trench's case he needs to change his attitude first.
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

Offline Patagonie

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #145 on: March 14, 2019, 02:28:56 AM »
VM strategy (visit many) is traveling to a target rich environment and meeting a bunch
of girls for coffee or tea and seeing if they have chemistry or not FIRST rather than last.
If you don't have mutual attraction you never see the girl again. If you don't like her smell,
her smoking even though she listed herself as a non smoker in her profile or anything else
you don't need to ever write a dozen letters to find out if you like the same things because
she is kicked to the curb.

If you aren't a good judge of character and if you can't make a decision then you should
not use the Visit Many strategy, because you need to decide whether a girl what it takes
based on a meeting in person over coffee. I can make that decision but some need time
to think and process, if you are the think and process guy then you need to visit one.

A VO strategy (visit one) is doing all the sorting while you are home. You can think of
things to delve into for a day and then spend an hour formulating a question or a comment.
Obviously you can't do that on the fly during a VM meeting. With a VO strategy you narrow
it down to the best girl and then go see her.

VO is high risk and it's high reward. If you are able to narrow it down to a great girl and when
you meet you hit if off, then you are a hundred miles ahead of the game. You have just spent
a lot of quality time with a great girl.

VM is low risk and low reward. You might meet 10 girls before you find an excellent match and
then how much time can you spend with them? How much time can they spend with you? You
are going to have to keep them interested while you are preparing for your next trip. Are you a
super shy type? This strategy is probably not the one for you.

Both these stratagems have advantages and weakness and it varies with what you are comfortable
with and your personality. I can go and meet 15 girls and make an assessment while meeting her 
and decide whether I will ever ask her out again in a few minutes. I can also make her laugh and
want to see me again as well.

So in my opinion each guy has to determine which strategy works best for him.

Udachi!

Bill
:applaud: I was before more after a WMVM and even WAVM (write any visit many), but Bill is correct it doesn't fit some personalities and some guys are absolutely not comfortable with this. Those guys will screw up their meetings because they don't have the social skills to come along VM, so don't do it. Also some guys cannot assess the girl and they are overwhelmed by the beauty of the girl and it hurts them back.
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #146 on: March 14, 2019, 02:36:27 AM »
 :ROFL:

Not all of us are Trench..some of us CHOOSE to VO and certainly do not lack social skills ...

I am as amazed at those espousing the 'merits' of a VM trip as you might be regarding VM .....

We are approaching the beginning of the third decade of the 21C and most lasses have access to messenger apps and the ability to chat ( and video chat )

WHY waste time lining up dates with lasses you've not taken the chance to 'weed out' ?

« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 02:38:42 AM by msmob »
We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #147 on: March 14, 2019, 03:02:28 AM »
Waste of time and effort and stressful.  Might as well go speed dating))


Each to his own, but I believe on the contrary. Visiting one woman builds expectations, puts lot of pressure on the trip, can cause all sorts of stress from both sides and especially if things don't seem right from the start. The pressure of having to deal with the situation and potentially dump the girl, or face the fact she's just not into you? What if from the start things are off and a potentially expensive and time-precious trip is ruined?


Even 'Speed dating' is far more fun to me, meeting new ladies and potentially the perfect one at the next opportunity, anticipating yet not expecting what chemistry there may be rather than what you've build the entire trip around and may not materialise.


Of course, WOVO is high-reward if going into the trip she seems like the perfect lady and all expectations are fulfilled, but what is the actual success rate of such trips, i.e. that lead to marriage? If things aren't going well in a VM situation, it's so much easier to walk away in a positive frame of mind.


I agree wholeheartedly with nightwish. Every trip, every date I have been on was an experience. I don't regret my VO trips, but I think if a Vo and a VM doesn't lead to something, the VM will always at least leave better memories.

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #148 on: March 14, 2019, 03:04:18 AM »
:ROFL:

Not all of us are Trench..some of us CHOOSE to VO and certainly do not lack social skills ...

I am as amazed at those espousing the 'merits' of a VM trip as you might be regarding VM .....

We are approaching the beginning of the third decade of the 21C and most lasses have access to messenger apps and the ability to chat ( and video chat )

WHY waste time lining up dates with lasses you've not taken the chance to 'weed out' ?


I am sure everyone who does a WMVM (as opposed to speed dating) will have done some weeding-out. The fact is that online romances - even by Skype, Viber and Whatsapp - are not the same as boots on the ground time.

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Re: How does a girl choose which guys she wishes to meet?
« Reply #149 on: March 14, 2019, 03:15:07 AM »

Visiting one woman builds expectations, puts lot of pressure on the trip, can cause all sorts of stress from both sides and especially if things don't seem right from the start. The pressure of having to deal with the situation and potentially dump the girl, or face the fact she's just not into you? What if from the start things are off and a potentially expensive and time-precious trip is ruined?

?? :)

If you both do your due diligence  beforehand ...( and there is NO excuse in this day and age for not doing that) ..I fail to see how one can be 'stressed' - disappointed may be ? 
It can happen ..

I know of a happily married couple who when the guy arrived in Siberia .. the lady had invited him for a month .. She told V that she had made a mistake..;)

Each of us makes their choices based on previous experience


We'll be back, EU ..and as a certain 'gentleman' couldn't accept my offer to 'bury the hatchet' .. Don't trust a clueless Californian 'business owner' who cannot even quote me, honestly ..

 

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