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Author Topic: Hi all....did i get lucky first time  (Read 3680 times)

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Offline marc63

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Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« on: April 19, 2019, 09:19:44 PM »
Evening all, I am new here and just wanted to say hello to everybody from the sunny UK.
The reason I joined was to ask if I may have gotten lucky with my first foray into online dating, basically I signed up to an online dating site and within days was emailing 5 different women, within as many days 4 of them dropped away as they all asked for money for whatever catastrophe had befallen them lol.

However one remained , a really nice 45 year old RW with whom I have been corresponding for 3 weeks now. My concern is quite simple in as much as I cannot see any way in which she is being insincere to me , and I know that sounds strange cos that's what we are all looking for but I sadly try and find fault as things that seem too true normally are.

We have exchanged countless photos and talked about eachothers lives, she has no desire to live outside of Russia has a great job which she loves and in her words is just lonely. She has asked for my mobile number and has promised to call over the weekend and wants for us to meet in person and I just wanted to ask some of you who have been doing this for some time now can you see any potential pit falls ahead of me that I am being blinded by other than the obvious lack of physical chemistry when we do eventually meet.

Thanks for reading my ramble and I hope to hear from people soon

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2019, 09:37:18 PM »
 :welcome:  Wish you the best of luck.
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Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

Online krimster2

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2019, 09:43:58 PM »
hey there...
I see you're from Dorset, lovely place...

tell us a bit more about yourself, age, profession, marriage background, etc
if she's not interested in leaving Russia, how does that factor into your future with her?

most of the pitfalls I see relate to the "hunter" and not the "game" if you get my metaphor...
you will have much to learn

it's only a 5 hour journey from London to Kyiv
look for posts on this web site from a guy named Trench, you can PM him
he found plane tickets from UK to Kyiv for a small price I believe 50 pounds
airbnb can rent you in apartment in kyiv for 30 pounds a day
you could spend a week in Kyiv for just a few hundred quid and you would learn a lot!!!!


« Last Edit: April 19, 2019, 10:47:35 PM by krimster2 »

Offline ML

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2019, 09:44:17 PM »
Of course there are dozens of pitfalls potentially ahead for you with  this or any woman.

And also possible that you have lucked out.

You need to do a ton of reading here which will help you sort out in your own mind what the probabilities are for the different future scenarios.

Biggest problem for you in my opinion is if you concentrate only on this gal and do not continue to pursue possibilities with other gals that you could visit with on a future trip.

Others will disagree and will (in effect) want to place all your available time and money on purchasing a lottery ticket.

Are you the type who will place all of your retirement money into one stock, or do you diversify your retirement portfolio?
« Last Edit: April 19, 2019, 10:04:30 PM by ML »
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline marc63

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2019, 09:56:44 PM »
Krimster2..i am 55 and widowed, I work in a well known hotel as a receptionist , I was born in England but my father was Polish and for the right person I have no problem relocating as I have never considered England as home.


ML...I did a tonne of reading before registering lol and I have eliminated a lot of potential women but this one just seems totally legit but I shall tread on egg shells and do some more reading

Online krimster2

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2019, 10:14:12 PM »
OK, I get it...

if you feel "alienated" in the country of your birth
multiply that feeling by 100 and that's how you will feel in Russia
and you will have to cope with 100 problems you won't have to cope with in the UK

my advice
look for a woman who will come to you
make a life together and you will not feel alone
be realistic
age 55, and you're not the Duke of York
you can pull a woman 40+  - younger if you can cope with a single mom
look for a woman with English language skills and who has a professional background that would make it possible for her to be employed in the UK
anything else is "folly" I'm afraid...

« Last Edit: April 19, 2019, 10:38:01 PM by krimster2 »

Offline Davo

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2019, 11:52:19 PM »
Welcome )

That’s a good age to look for a woman, you probably have a better chance of finding a genuine woman first time (in her 40’s).  I found some very nice middle aged women online and recently met  one in Russia. I didn’t find any red flags with her and had the “too good to be true feeling” from the start. Despite all the horror stories, she turned out to be exactly who she presented herself to be online.

My impression is they are fully aware of the mob / scammer stereotype associated with FSUW and will say things to reassure you (not deceptively), like act uncertain about moving. At that age they want to have a partner alongside them more than anything. She wouldn’t waste time chatting with foreign men, if she wasn’t considering relocating, obviously for the right Man. 

The woman I met is considering giving up a comfortable life, a great job and lots of family and friends if things go well between us next time we meet. It’s a huge sacrifice to make.

If it wasn’t for my kids, I’d move to her city as she lives a very similar lifestyle to me and has all the luxuries I have in my home city. If anything I would say their supermarkets and restaurants are better in many respects. Definitely their shopping hours are.

 Right now video calling is your best option to see exactly who she is. If she comes up with excuses not to, you have your first major red flag.

Good luck!! 😊
« Last Edit: April 20, 2019, 03:21:13 AM by Davo »

Online msmob

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2019, 03:39:59 AM »
Welcome, marc63

So, she doesn't want to leave RU and you'd happily leave the UK


But how would you 'survive' in Russia ?


Can't see how exchanging emails and photos is anything but good for both of you ! ;)


Good luck

No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Online krimster2

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2019, 04:55:03 AM »
"Can't see how exchanging emails and photos is anything but good for both of you ! ;)"

yes, however be aware of "first letter syndrome"....

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2019, 05:25:59 AM »
Marc,

 :welcome:

One word......... SKYPE. 

One sentence.........Consider Krimster's following words as the golden truth

 
Quote
if you feel "alienated" in the country of your birth
multiply that feeling by 100 and that's how you will feel in Russia
and you will have to cope with 100 problems you won't have to cope with in the UK 

One question..........Does the agency where you discovered this woman operate on a  PPL (pay per letter)?   It seems "no" given she has revealed her mobile number.   However, if "yes," for sure get on Skype now.

My experience...............  My wife did not want to leave Russia.  I would never relocate (I love golf, etc.).   I appreciated her honesty, yet she posed a challenge.  A "challenge" is IMO the exact type of woman you should try to woo.  However, it could take a couple of years of dating. 

                             


Offline GenMish

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2019, 05:30:36 AM »
Someone with native English skills in the hospitality industry could probably find work in Russia, but why? You would take a huge paycut and most likely hate living there.

Its time to cut bait

If you two really like each other, if she has the great job with ties to Russia, she can probably get a tourist visa to visit you. And that might be what she is looking for, romance with a Western Man and visit his country

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2019, 08:01:56 AM »
We have exchanged countless photos and talked about each others lives, she has no desire to live outside of Russia has a great job which she loves and in her words is just lonely. She has asked for my mobile number and has promised to call over the weekend and wants for us to meet in person and I just wanted to ask some of you who have been doing this for some time now can you see any potential pit falls ahead of me that I am being blinded by other than the obvious lack of physical chemistry when we do eventually meet.

Thanks for reading my ramble and I hope to hear from people soon

If things work out will she move to Blighty to be with you?

IF SO,

You need to remain cautiously optimistic and keep moving towards meeting
her. Often times it doesn't work out*

IF NOT,

Then I don't see any reason to keep moving forward with this woman.

Udachi!

Bill

*You can read where things didn't workout many times but eventually did for
me at this link http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0
« Last Edit: April 20, 2019, 09:01:53 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online 2tallbill

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Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2019, 08:03:09 AM »
yes, however be aware of "first letter syndrome"....

Could you elaborate? I am unfamiliar with the phrase.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online krimster2

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2019, 08:30:09 AM »
"Could you elaborate? I am unfamiliar with the phrase."

guys getting "hung up" over their first letter....
and getting "over-invested" even if it's not a good fit...
because "something" is better than "nothing" they don't want to let go when they should...
« Last Edit: April 20, 2019, 08:33:16 AM by krimster2 »

Online 2tallbill

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Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2019, 08:59:28 AM »
"and getting "over-invested" even if it's not a good fit...

I see,

Yes, that happens quite a bit. I've been there and done that myself
and it's really easy to do. You really want there to be mutual chemistry
etc and you really want this gal to be THE gal but sometimes the fickle
fingers of fate won't cooperate, then you have to start all over again.

That is why I usually suggest being cautiously optimistic but also having
a backup plan.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2019, 12:02:25 PM »
marc,
If this is the way you see yourself actually finding a partner, you've got to start somewhere. So far this lady has raised no flags. That is a good thing. Assume she is legit until you have a reason not to. There is a lot of gaming out there but there is a good deal of sincerity, too. Speak on the phone, get on skpye and all those things. Get as interpersonal as you can given the situation. The answers to your questions will begin to reveal themselves. 3 weeks might be a bit too early to plan a trip to meet her but you're not far off from making those arrangements. She may be perfectly happy with everything in her life except the loneliness. That doesn't mean she wouldn't leave that life in a heartbeat for the right man. Play it out, see where it leads

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2019, 12:59:16 PM »
 :welcome: Marc

Where abouts in Russia is your lady from?

It sounds like you would consider living wherever it is though you have not been yet. Most women in their 40s are past the age the scamming industry find useful, so she's probably ok.

I would say take a visit to see her after you have Skyped. Use it as a holiday and get to know about of Russia hopefully with your lady's help in showing you around. There's no telling if there is chemistry till you meet so no need to get to wrapped up in plans now on that. If you meet and there is no chemistry then it's all a lot of concern over moving to another country for nothing, unless you later find another girl of course.

As to the thread title I would say it is quite easy to find women in Russia, Ukraine, etc who are friendly and feminine who will message a guy a lot, so it's not that lucky. It's far more lucky to find that there is natural chemistry with the girl you have been messaging/skyping when you land and meet her. Now that would be lucky to get first time, a guy occasionally does but most don't and that's not so great when that happens.

I think just arriving in another country you have not visited before can be enough of a culture shock. I found it took several visits and often a few days into visits before I got acclimatised. Learning a bit of spoken Russian can be handy to help feel a bit more at ease in the culture though that tends to take time as I am finding. Also think about how you are going to support yourself out in Russia. Good luck.

« Last Edit: April 24, 2019, 01:03:44 PM by Trenchcoat »
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Offline John Gaunt

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2019, 01:50:51 PM »
:welcome: Marc

Where abouts in Russia is your lady from?

It sounds like you would consider living wherever it is though you have not been yet. Most women in their 40s are past the age the scamming industry find useful, so she's probably ok.

I would say take a visit to see her after you have Skyped. Use it as a holiday and get to know about of Russia hopefully with your lady's help in showing you around. There's no telling if there is chemistry till you meet so no need to get to wrapped up in plans now on that. If you meet and there is no chemistry then it's all a lot of concern over moving to another country for nothing, unless you later find another girl of course.

As to the thread title I would say it is quite easy to find women in Russia, Ukraine, etc who are friendly and feminine who will message a guy a lot, so it's not that lucky. It's far more lucky to find that there is natural chemistry with the girl you have been messaging/skyping when you land and meet her. Now that would be lucky to get first time, a guy occasionally does but most don't and that's not so great when that happens.

I think just arriving in another country you have not visited before can be enough of a culture shock. I found it took several visits and often a few days into visits before I got acclimatised. Learning a bit of spoken Russian can be handy to help feel a bit more at ease in the culture though that tends to take time as I am finding. Also think about how you are going to support yourself out in Russia. Good luck.
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Offline Jamesukjames

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2019, 02:17:39 PM »
Marc use whats app or viber on your phone to video call.  Having been raised by a Belarus grandmother I totally understand the not feeling settled in the UK feeling and if I didn't have children who live in the UK I would certainly be considering relocating to the FSU .  Go visit her and have a great holiday.  50 50 odds on her being a good person.

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2019, 03:01:40 PM »
  Most women in their 40s are past the age the scamming industry find useful, so she's probably ok.

Generalisation without any experience #1 ..Marc - do not listen to ANYTHING trench posts - he is clueless about FSU W and women in general ,,, 


I would say take a visit to see her after you have Skyped.


Howler #2 :

))

Trench has been exposing how 'skyping beforehand is a waste of time', just recently ... So - once again - he is posting 'advice' - which conflicts with his own stance ..

Trench - why are you 'advising' Marc when you are crap at this game ?



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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2019, 05:44:58 AM »
Generalisation without any experience #1 ..Marc - do not listen to ANYTHING trench posts - he is clueless about FSU W and women in general ,,, 


Howler #2 :

))

Trench has been exposing how 'skyping beforehand is a waste of time', just recently ... So - once again - he is posting 'advice' - which conflicts with his own stance ..

Trench - why are you 'advising' Marc when you are crap at this game ?

It depends on what method you are using on whether to Skype. If it's a meet one then of course Skype as you don't want to go on a long journey where Skype might have proven it needless as you didn't get on as well in conversation as in messaging, or the girl looks ugly than in her photos or whatever. If he was was going out to meet many women then unless he has much time on his hands it's a bit pointless as you're playing the numbers game to offset the ones that aren't all that great.

I would not say I'm crap at this game. Some guys go in wallet waving and then pronounce good they are at it when chicks readily take them up. Other guys are just looking for a companion in their old age, nothing wrong with that but the task is a more simple one.
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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #21 on: April 25, 2019, 05:50:32 AM »
It depends on what method you are using on whether to Skype. If it's a meet one then of course Skype as you don't want to go on a long journey where Skype might have proven it needless as you didn't get on as well in conversation as in messaging, or the girl looks ugly than in her photos or whatever. If he was was going out to meet many women then unless he has much time on his hands it's a bit pointless as you're playing the numbers game to offset the ones that aren't all that great.

I would not say I'm crap at this game. Some guys go in wallet waving and then pronounce good they are at it when chicks readily take them up. Other guys are just looking for a companion in their old age, nothing wrong with that but the task is a more simple one.

just the fact your calling this a game shows what your true intentions are..reeeal serious....

and yes, you are really crappy at this game -  two whole weeks in Ukraine and you only manage to get two dates where you got shot down on both, that's a failure in everyone's book especially since you explicitly went there to meet women and go on dates.
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #22 on: April 25, 2019, 07:56:38 AM »
Welcome Marc, by all means continue to talk with this lady. See what shakes out but don't start looking for red flags where there are none.

I will agree with others here to Skype as much as possible.

DEFINITELY, do not take any women dating advice from Trench. He has proven himself to be absolutely clueless with no signs of ever getting the messages that other members here have given him.....Good luck!
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline marc63

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2019, 08:03:38 AM »
Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

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Re: Hi all....did i get lucky first time
« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2019, 08:09:49 AM »
Sorry been busy but thanks for most of the advice so far and here is an update, after messaging eachother every day and the exchange of several videos of special occasions such as a friends wedding she attended last weekend she has just said she would love to come over to England in 3 weeks time to meet me....I am obviously thrilled with this development so sorry for the negativity but this is really good right !!!

Its very good news, as long as very sudden requests for money to pay for visas and other catastrophes start to crop up. In that case, you should offer to come see her.....
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

 

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