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Author Topic: Negative opinions!!  (Read 1130 times)

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Offline Davo

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Negative opinions!!
« on: May 09, 2019, 11:46:28 PM »
Iíve been searching the site for threads like this ....

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10322.0

Iíve started receiving the occasional negative comment or concerned opinion, due to the typical MOB stereotype.

It would be great to hear others stories of the bias you faced from family, friends and even strangers in the initial stages of your journey and also eventually when your partner arrived in your country.

How did you cope with it?.... How did your wife react?.... Did you face any jealousy due to your wives obvious attractiveness and other qualities? and once those in your life spent time with her, how did their opinions change?

Lastly, do you think FSW are generally aware of this stereotype and the way they and the western men they marry are perceived in his country?

I must admit Iím guilty of this. I used to think the same and look down on men with their Filipino wives in tow..... Desperate men who canít get a woman in Australia and are probably being used by the woman to gain citizenship.

« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 12:48:15 AM by Davo »

Online Patagonie

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2019, 04:06:39 AM »
It varies.
My ex MIL had been highly supported and open, largely more than my parents. (unfortunately my father disappeared before i got married). A lot of people, especially women,  will not tell you but they think that they have used to hear about FSU women : green cards chasers. They are formatted by some stupid medias or movies. In fact they are not so better in average when it is time to take advantage of a man, but chut don't say it ;D
If i was feeling an opposition or a disgusting face i would like to never talk about my search in FSU to this people again. Purely and simply, i don't have enough time and energy to convince them, and above all WHY ?

As your lady will be there you will meet many guys who will stare your wife for hours with lust, especially anonymous bystanders (my ex wife got honked almost every time she was walking a long time in the city).
Your wife will have to meet the hostility of the locals women, that's a fact, not all women but it will happen. Many locals will feel threatened because of course they absolutely cannot competite with a FSU woman generally in term of feminity, and locals dammed know it when it's time for the race when men are along them and a true FSU woman. They loose purely and simply.
That will be a problem for your wife for the integration.
I tried to avoid to brag about my personal life. No photo on my desk at job. I never bring my wife in some professional events. I tried to be discreet and to not BRAG about her beauty. Only few colleagues knew her and met her but in a private space. I can thank myself today as i am divorced, nobody came to tell me : "oh i told you, green card chaser", or nobody dares to tell me knowing my personality.  :popcorn:

« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 04:32:34 AM by Patagonie »
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Online SteveInBoston

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2019, 09:06:21 AM »
I think the negative opinion thing will happen depending on the area you live.  If you're in the suburbs, in a mostly non-immigrant neighborhood, the gossip might fly around.

I'm fortunate in that I have a mix of US and immigrant friends - Vietnam, Malaysia, China and Singapore.  So it's been fine so far - no jealousies or wondering about immigrant/green card intent.

The only odd looks I got was when I was in NYC.  I caught a few men looking at my better half and wondering, but I think they were trying to determine if I was some celebrity.  Heh.





Offline ML

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2019, 09:35:01 AM »
Depends a lot on the age of the woman and the surrounding environment.

My wife was in early 40s when she arrived, and we live in a town with a large University with a substantial contingent of foreign doctors, professors and students.

Local residents are used to seeing a wide variety of husband - wife combinations.

As a result . . . wife has faced zero problems despite a definite difference in our ages and attractiveness.

I detect some jealous looks from men . . . but I enjoy those.

Winston Churchill.  ďThe best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.Ē

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2019, 10:26:45 AM »
Iíve been searching the site for threads like this ....

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10322.0

Iíve started receiving the occasional negative comment or concerned opinion, due to the typical MOB stereotype.

It would be great to hear others stories of the bias you faced from family, friends and even strangers in the initial stages of your journey and also eventually when your partner arrived in your country.

How did you cope with it?.... How did your wife react?.... Did you face any jealousy due to your wives obvious attractiveness and other qualities? and once those in your life spent time with her, how did their opinions change?

Lastly, do you think FSW are generally aware of this stereotype and the way they and the western men they marry are perceived in his country?

I must admit Iím guilty of this. I used to think the same and look down on men with their Filipino wives in tow..... Desperate men who canít get a woman in Australia and are probably being used by the woman to gain citizenship.

Before or as you read through the responses you should ask yourself this question: Does it matter? If so, how? Will it change anything in your pursuit?

I mention that because if it does, stop right now. I'm sure there was "some" behind my back but there was zero to my face. I had a few friends before they met her in the early going bring up the "they're just all after a greencard" conversation. After they did eventually meet her I've not heard one peep. I had "heard" from second hand information gossip that the green card thing that may or may not have said. I never cared and any of it just fell off like water on a ducks back.

I dated a lot before I went to Russia so there wasn't any discussion that I couldn't get a woman. Some of those same friends couldn't understand why I dropped some of the women I did to want to go to East (of course several dropped me as well).

I did not share any of the minute details with anyone. Many thought I was going to see the young smokinghotkova. My wife is very beautiful, very demure, highly educated with a smile that lights up a room and only 4 years younger. She also happens to have a beautiful body, too.

As I said I never cared what others thought or said. Not from the beginning to this very day and it's been a dozen years but she holds her own. Most folks, male and female seem to fall under her charms the same way I did.

Offline GenMish

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2019, 12:29:12 PM »
I think there are two categories of people we are considering

The first that might prejudge here before they know her, the second that have negatives opinions of her afterwards.

In my case 25 years ago, I am sure several of my friends and family had doubts before they met my FSU Bride. But once they met her and got to know her, those doubts disappeared. My sisters, Mom and my sister in law loved her and reaffirmed she was a fine lady and I made the best choice possible. I was definitely seen as making a great choice, not a foolish one based on looks. My friends and neighbors took to her too, everyone enjoyed her company. Only a few hold outs from work kept negative opinions of her, they gossiped, but they were single women and I wrote them off as jealous. After our first child, even those negative attitudes went away
« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 12:31:56 PM by GenMish »

Online jone

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2019, 12:33:05 PM »
Before or as you read through the responses you should ask yourself this question: Does it matter? If so, how? Will it change anything in your pursuit?

I mention that because if it does, stop right now. I'm sure there was "some" behind my back but there was zero to my face. I had a few friends before they met her in the early going bring up the "they're just all after a greencard" conversation. After they did eventually meet her I've not heard one peep. I had "heard" from second hand information gossip that the green card thing that may or may not have said. I never cared and any of it just fell off like water on a ducks back.

I dated a lot before I went to Russia so there wasn't any discussion that I couldn't get a woman. Some of those same friends couldn't understand why I dropped some of the women I did to want to go to East (of course several dropped me as well).

I did not share any of the minute details with anyone. Many thought I was going to see the young smokinghotkova. My wife is very beautiful, very demure, highly educated with a smile that lights up a room and only 4 years younger. She also happens to have a beautiful body, too.

As I said I never cared what others thought or said. Not from the beginning to this very day and it's been a dozen years but she holds her own. Most folks, male and female seem to fall under her charms the same way I did.

If I were a woman, I would've dropped you!   ;D
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline ML

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2019, 12:55:44 PM »
If I were a woman, I would've dropped you!   ;D

Before even checking his financial status ?
Winston Churchill.  ďThe best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.Ē

Online supraman

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2019, 04:28:40 AM »
I had a few family members concerned and received several lectures that i ended up cutting short . Mainly from my mother and one brother . My Father stayed neutral as he trusted i was not an idiot  .
     My wife is now the favorite daughter in law .  :D

On the other hand my wife got dramas from her sister also . Which we all joke about now . 

If you come West Davo let me know
 
   

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2019, 06:20:24 AM »
If I were a woman, I would've dropped you!   ;D

Heh heh, you could've never gotten me. I have high standards :D

Online jone

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2019, 01:21:50 PM »
Heh heh, you could've never gotten me. I have high standards :D

Oh, I don't know.   I look pretty good in pumps.   Curl my hair.   I'm all yours.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2019, 01:24:23 PM »
Curl my hair.   I'm all yours.

You have a short haircut that any butch lesbian would be proud of!!
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online 2tallbill

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Negative opinions!!
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2019, 01:38:25 PM »
I had a few acquaintances who tried to tell me about scams, it's only they
were at a kindergarten level where I was in graduate school level avoiding
them.

I've sat in airports observing guys who were totally content and blissfully
unaware of their girl looking at him or around the airport totally bored out
of her mind. I work in sales and reading other peoples faces, body language
and actions and I would have noticed a woman totally bored around me far
before we ever spent time at a departure gate.
 
I had a sister who questioned me back before I found Angel Eyes and I
looked at her in the eyes and said,

"Do you really think I don't know what I am doing? I have been at this for
several years and didn't get tricked into a marriage yet" She looked back
at me, hesitated and said, "you probably got this"

Upon meeting Angel Eyes, everyone in my family fell in love with her 100%.
My son who hated 90% of the women I dated liked her.


FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online BillyB

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2019, 05:55:10 PM »
Iíve started receiving the occasional negative comment or concerned opinion, due to the typical MOB stereotype.


Your friends and family have been educated by the media that men who look for women overseas are losers who don't know what they're doing and foreign women are insincere and looking for a ticket to a prosperous nation. They should not believe everything they hear or read.

How did you cope with it?....


I don't care what other people think. I just tell concerned people saying something now isn't going to convince them who she is and that they'll get to judge my wife after she arrives.

How did your wife react?....


My wife's personality won any doubters over. Now my family tells me if I lose my wife, it's my fault. I now think they like her more than me.

Did you face any jealousy due to your wives obvious attractiveness and other qualities?


During a 4th of July get together in the street, some of my neighbors asked me if the woman over there was my wife. I said "yes" and they said "Well done." Some of my friends say if they ever become single again, they're going to get tips from me. My niece who was most skeptical of my wife before she came over has become good friends with her and they hang out once in a while.

Lastly, do you think FSW are generally aware of this stereotype and the way they and the western men they marry are perceived in his country?


Their media educates them too but they also get opposing education from marriage agencies that say Western men are the best thing since sliced bread.

If you marry a quality woman, you'll have nothing to be ashamed about and people will envy you. Negativity should be non existent. If somebody in your life doesn't like a good woman after they get to know her, then that person should be removed from your life.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

Offline iolanik

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2019, 10:44:07 AM »
Let me say this since I went thru this process back in 2000 and ultimately got married to a RW and ultimately got divorced. We all went into this process with 3 common misconceptions and 3 critical miscalculations:

Misconception #1: RWs are "traditional" women unlike women from the U.S.
RWs are NOT traditional women in the sense of american women from the days of our parents from the 40's/50s/60s. They have been raised by parents who either: 1) grew up in a screwed up economic town; 2) Had little to no opportunity for a decent life growing up due to such economic disadvantages; 3) Were raised by single parent or had an absent father (or both!) due to military deployment, alcoholism or philandering; raised by a mother who had a tough time struggling economically and therefore "taught" their daughters to latch onto any economic opportunity that they could find.  THESE ARE NOT WOMEN FROM LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE!!!
The flip side to this are RWs who come from well to do families but want to leave the FSU bc they want to enjoy their particular lifestyle OUTSIDE of the FSU and believe the "action" is in places like NYC, LA, San Francisco, Boston, etc. These women will not be content with the Kankakee, IL, Lincoln, NE or jerkwater towns that are quiet and peaceful. 

Misconception #2 RWs want to "Take Care" of their men unlike american or european women who only think of themselves. 
When you first date a RW it may seem this way but when you become married, it is a WHOLE different ball game. They will then try to exert themselves and try to dictate situations bc this is how their mothers taught them thru example. Ask other guys who have married RWs or who know of guys who are married to RWs and ask them about it.

Misconception #3  RWs are selfless and live to serve their men
If you think RWs are not selfish creatures, you are DELUDING yourself. These women have grown up in a society that is predicated on "Getting Ahead at all costs" If you think the U.S. is inundated with Superficial, materialistic propaganda then you have not spent any time in the FSU. These women live for the handbags, shoes, dresses and nice, upscale things. If you are thinking of marrying a younger girl in her 20s you have been warned!

CRITICAL MISCALCULATION #1: TEST YOUR RW TO SEE IF SHE ACCEPTS MONEY FROM YOU OR EXPECTS YOU TO SUPPORT HER IN ANY WAY
I'm not talking about the obvious "Send me money before we meet" type of deal or after 3 emails she hits you up for some $$$ bc there was an "Emergency" deal. NO. I'm talking about once you meet her and you see where she lives and how she lives, that you voluntarily give her money to "HELP WITH EXPENSES"  If she is of any character she will decline and you should not push it on her, bc once you do, she will EXPECT IT EVERY TIME

CRITICAL MISCALCULATION #2: BEFORE YOU MARRY HER OR ASK HER TO MARRY YOU, MEET HER MOTHER AND SPEND AT LEAST A MONTH WITH HER.
You can tell A LOT about your RW based on: 1) How she interacts with her mom: Do they argue a lot or have mulitple disagreements? 2) Ask your RW what her mother thinks about the U.S. and try to find out about her perceptions of the U.S.  You can bet she raised her daughter with such attitudes. For example: My EX motherinlaw thought all americans lived in homes like what they saw in the movie "Home Alone" so her perception is we are all rich here and made of money so buying and spending money isnt a problem. My RW used to spend whenever she wanted to and when I told her that while she could buy things, I wanted to know about her purchases rather than hide them from me. Her reply and her mom's reply (her mom was visiting at the time) was "Why do I need your permission to buy something?" So I then went off and spent the "excess income" on my wine collection and bought a rental property in Texas. When she saw this, she said "Why do you buy things that are not needed" or "Why didn't you consult with her first?" My response was the same as hers before "Why do I need your permission to buy something?"  **Mind you that i was the sole income earner at the time and back in 2000 I was making mid 6 figures.***

CRITICAL MISCALCULATION #3: IF YOU MARRY A RW, SHE WILL HOLD YOU ABOVE HERSELF AND BE SELFLESS TOWARDS YOU
One thing I have learned about RWs in talking with many (20+) men who have been with or dated RWs is that you will find out that they are always about themselves before you. Remember where and how they grew up. They were raised in a country based on bribes, stepping over people to get ahead, and where $$$ is king. Does this sound familiar? You may be saying "Well that's how it is here in the U.S." or "That's how women are here"  So ask yourself WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT RWs AND NOT AMERICAN WOMEN IN THE FIRST PLACE??
Examples you can ask yourself or others are "If you give a RW money, will she look to spend it on you or how she can spend it together with you (Saving it would be considered the latter) or is she looking to spend it solely on herself, not just on her rent mind you but to use some of it for some type of luxury that she wouldnt be able to afford typically without your help? If you gave her $400 for her rent and her rent turned out to be $350, would she even offer to give you back the difference or at least ASK you that there is leftover $$$????
« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 03:05:00 PM by iolanik »

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Negative opinions!!
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2019, 10:50:45 AM »
Let me say this since I went thru this process back in

You make a lot of interesting points and comments. I recommend
starting a new thread.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

 

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