How has your relationship changed you?

[Photo Guy]

You have spent time with a FSUW. Has that changed your view of
life in general? Your view of your own culture?

[catzenmouse]

I'm sure I'll think of more but a quick couple of things is that I have a lot less tolerance for how Americans treat foreigners here. I've learned that if I would only listen then I would not make so many mistakes. I've learned what it means to really be loved by someone, without any hesitation or strings. I've learned that I am a royal pain in the butt (okay, I did have an idea about this before). I've learned that I have a great deal to give and am happy giving it. I've learned that a 6 year old NEVER stops talking. I've learned a bit about choosing my words more carefully to avoid things that might be taken as hurtful. I learned that no matter how it is cooked I don't like tongue.

Ken

[ConnerVT]

Ken, I've learned how to make an 8 year old stop talking.  Hand him a GameBoy Advanced.

As for tongues, you'll enjoy them more when you stop trying to eat them.   

[catzenmouse]

Conner,

 Even the gameboy doesn't stop this one... He'll tell you everything he's doing and everything you should do when you play the game no matter that you will never play the game.

Like the other idea! 

Ken

[BC]

Every culture I have been associated with (and there have been quite a few) have changed my views of life.  I have learned to appreciate many things from my wife.. like no pretenses and brutal honesty.

[Manny]

Markedly, most notably in the following ways:

* I have experienced first hand, and as a local, a foreign culture that was previously not possible.
* I find her cool level headedness a good contrast to my sometimes impluslve nature, her nature is because she is a product of her enviroment.
* I have had to flex in issues of culture and other ways which I never considered - I am richer for that experience.
* I have experienced vocalisation of a different view of the western philosphy of life from a FSU perspective, and that has changed my view on some things.
* I now understand both types of capitalism, born and bred, and over the fence looking in.
* I am in the process of learning a new language.
* I have seen many weaknesses in the Western philosophy.
* I have learned that blending two people from compatible yet different cultures takes some adjustment on both sides, it is the simple things that catch you out!
* From what we have both learned of our respective cultures, their weaknesses and strengths, we have decided that in the future we will probably live out of the UK, somewhere else in Europe.

My experience has broadened my horizons beyond my previous comprehension of possibility. I do indeed feel I am a better person as a result of my experiences. Our own culture has serious flaws. We overlook some of the fundemantal aspects to a happy life and rely too much on materialism and consumerism as indicators of happiness. In fact we only need to be healthy, warm, fed, in good company and consequently happy. Money is a welcome bonus but not an essential one. There are no pockets in shrouds. Life is short!

[Admin]

There are no pockets in shrouds. Life is short!

Well said!

Thanks,

- Dan

[Phil dAmore]

The relationship hasn't changed me much.. or at all.   I'm still the bumbling, fun loving, impulsive, opinionated, and occasionally obnoxious guy I've always been.

But if you are asking how it's changed my view of the world- or more to the point, my view of America... that's a very different bowl of borscht.

I've learned that it's not absolutely essential to surround myself with material goods in order to be happy.

I've learned that quality medical care doesn't have to cost anywhere near as much as it does in the states.

I've learned that vegetables can indeed constitute a full meal all by themselves.

I hold a far greater understanding of the challenges faced by anyone who moves from their native land has difficulty with a new language than was held previously.

I now realize that most of what I was taught about Russia in school was  misinformation and  propaganda the likes of which the Soviets could only dream about creating.

I've learned that Russians are capable of surviving anything and enduring any hardship without complaint, because the alternative is death.

I've learned to identify where someone is from by looking at their shoes.

And most importantly I've learned that the love of a good woman - even if she does oftentimes frustrate you to the point of near-insanity - is the best thing that any man can ever hope to have.

[Voyageur]

I agree with you Ken, I have much less sympathy for the "arrogance" that people from the US can sometimes display towards people from another culture. I am so tired of questions to my wife like "do you have the internet in Russia or that dress from Russia (no from TJ Maxx)  .

I also read a response from JB that told about how history books were different, especially about the WW II days. How each country views it's contribution to the end of this conflict. I have learned the value of keeping silent.  .

I have allot less tolerance also for the people in the social Security, Department of Transportation, USCIS and other positions of authority, that can simply make your life much more difficult on a whim - seemingly.

And yes, i can also attest to the value of a Game Boy advanced to give you a day or two of silence and maybe even privacy  , when given as a present to a 7 year old.

[Jet]

Conner,

 Even the gameboy doesn't stop this one... He'll tell you everything he's doing and everything you should do when you play the game no matter that you will never play the game.

Like the other idea!  Roll Eyes

I once held a phone conversation with Kolya which lasted 6 minutes before I finally understood he was explaining his exploits in the next level of Half-Life rather than what he and Momma had done in the previous two days 

My experiences have mirrored nearly everything written by Vaughn, Phil, and some of what Manchester related. I can only add that my wife's tenacity has taught me just how much can really be accomplished in a given timeframe, and it greatly excedes my prior conceptions!

[PeeWee]

The photo is exeptional, Jet.

I have come to appreciate our, US, effeciency. I can pick up a phone and have a flight reservation within just a few moments. Recently I had attempted to book that same flight reservation via two different Russian travel agencies. Three weeks later nothing of significance had occured, hence my decision to book that same flight using a US based travel agency. Ten minutes later I was out off the door. Only to have to wait another 5 days for Aeroflot, the lone Russian link in this process, to confirm the reservation back to the agency. Effeciency is a concept that seems to be lost on the Russian society.

Peewee

[prince_alfie]

Being Asian, I think that understanding the RW culture/Russian culture has helped me to rediscover the Asian heritage quite a bit more and understand my parents better. Apart from that, I've been finding that the Eurocentric approach in my schooling hasn't been for the best either!

[Manny]

However Alfie, the question was "how has your relationship changed you?" - as you dont seem to have one the idea would be to skip it 

Same behaviour on both boards eh?

[KenC]

I have learned a new appreciation for my Great Granparents that emigrated to the US from Russia.  How the hell did they do that?

I have also learned that my many suspicions regarding the slanting of my history lessons concerning the USSR in particular were well founded.

I have learned that people are just people regardless of language or culture.

I have learned that there really is a family value crisis here in the US

I have learned that there are still some real women available in this world
KenC

[Photo Guy]

I am still coming to terms with a lot of basic issues, that were brought to
my attention while she was here.  When I met her in Kiev, I noticed a number
of things. Strangers do not talk to strangers much there. They were more reserved.
When I bought us a rotisserie chicken over there, they looked at it like they were
extremely hungry, like it was a real treat, a real feast. Contrast that with the time
we went to an 'all you can eat' salad bar place in California. I remember her looking
at all of the food laying out there. Most of all, I remember how people would take
a ton of food and leave a lot on their plates, to be thrown away.  It may sound odd,
but now I see the gluttony everywhere, here in the US. 

I now have more of an appreciation for what I have. I remember when Larisa told
me that she did not like apples. You see, when she was younger, she moved
(by herself) from Ukraine to Russia, to work on a farm picking apples. She spent a
month eating ONLY apples.  Somehow a story like that has changed me.I am not
exactly sure how, but it has.  Pleasure can be derived from simple things- looking at
a beautiful plant, or fish in an aquarium, or small birds on a beach.
Life does not need to be very complicated.

[Turboguy]

I can always remember taking Luda to a Chinese buffet for the first time.  I had about my usual pile of food on my plate.   She had never seen anything like that and had about as much as you could possible fit on a plate.   A few minutes after we sat down she looked across the aisle and said, "Now I feel better.  There is someone with as much food as I have"  I looked over and she was right.  There was a gal with every bit as much food.  Of course the gal had to easily go 450 pounds.

[BillyB]

You have spent time with a FSUW. Has that changed your view of
life in general? Your view of your own culture?

No. I don't think I've change as a person or my way of thinking or the way I act based on a relationship with an FSU woman.

[catzenmouse]

No. I don't think I've change as a person or my way of thinking or the way I act based on a relationship with an FSU woman.

Billy,

 I'll be curious to see if you feel the same way in a year or so. They do have a way of altering your perceptions on a lot of things.

Ken

[BillyB]

Ken,

I don't have to wait a year to answer the question. I was married to an Ukrainian woman I met in the States for 3 years so I have experience and pretty much know I haven't changed a bit. I guess you can say I'm set in my ways. Good ways of course.

[Maxx2]

My RW gave me P.T.S.D. (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder).... I'd say more but I am late for my basket weaving class....

Maxx :hairraising:

[catzenmouse]

I guess you can say I'm set in my ways. Good ways of course.

Are there any other kind? 

How long had your ex been here? I ask because one of the things that I have noticed, and I think others have as well, is how going through the adjustment period together alters your outlook on things that you have grown up with and don't even notice anymore. It will be interesting all the same to see how this plays out for you.

Ken

P. S. When is your lady coming? (if you don't mind my asking...)

[BillyB]

Ken,

My ex was here for approximately six months before I met her. She was still new to everything and I had to teach her how to drive and enroll her in college after she finished her English classes which she enrolled in herself. We never needed a translator. Maybe I don't get the shock others do because I've been around minorities most my life and understand what they go through and lived all over the U.S and in Germany for 5 years since my dad and I was in the military. Seeing and experiencing new things don't affect me much.

My fiancee and I will be married late this year or early next year and with a few bribes to the locals to expedite the paperwork, she should be here within 5 months after marrying. I'm supposed to live in Uzbekistan before getting legally married but there are ways of making things happen.

[catzenmouse]

Billy,

 I look forward to hearing about how things are going for you both. I think you've got a great outlook on this and your experiences will truly help you both out in the future.

Ken

[Son of Clyde]

Sorry to wait so long to post. This is coming from a lifelong bachelor who married for the first time at age 55.

There is not the same freedom of just getting up to go somewhere on the spur of the moment. There are three people to think about now.

I am very happy though with this new found security and knowing people  depend on me. I am but one part of the equation now.

She cooks healthy food for me and gives me enough freedom I can still go swing dancing once or twice a week. I had given it up for several months until she said it was ok with her because it is good for my health and something I enjoy.

I have changed for the better and have become stronger.

[catzenmouse]

SoC,

 I haven't known you that long but you are an inspiration in more ways than you know. You've made a tremendous amount of changes in your life, had some major battles with them, and have come out on this side a better, more fullfilled, and happier person. Your wife and son are very lucky to have a man in their lives that is willing to go to these lengths and to make the changes to be in the right place for all of you. My hat is off to you!

Ken