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Author Topic: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?  (Read 1059 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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So been thinking recently about Interests and having common shared interests. Remembering young Kyn from last year (hope he is getting on well) and his advice that a common shared Interest so like minds can come together being of significance even necessary in finding someone. Well it's something I've been turning over in my mind. Yet it's only recently I feel I have managed to get a better grasp on it. To my mind it could be said that some Interests have a better ability to be shared Interests but more importantly Interests that's can be better & easier in discussion with another person.

Some Interests such as Cars, Motorbikes, Football, etc are obviously difficult as they have a large following among men but a very niche following with females (not including Lesbians). Similarly there are female Interests such as Sewing, hairdressing, etc that tend to have a much greater female following. Then I think there are interests that are Generic, like the Cinema, Scenery, Beaches, Tourism, Exploring, etc, etc that a lot of people can do so are easier to find those that share the same but these Interests are relaxing activities but not very good for holding long shared discussions over. There kind of a commonal Interest which while not everyone may share they are somewhat generic and rarely define the inherent deep Interest of the person. So the more specific a shared Interest the greater the ability for it to work as a good operator in helping people get on potentially.

Kyn had a shared Interest with his girl on Philosophy & History. She had a greater involvement in this than him. His interest was greatest in Scientific stuff but still an ability to talk at long lengths if both parties so wished over a specific shared Interests. Of course not all specific shared Interests need be academic but probably many academic subjects are.

Now not all lovers share any Interests at all which brings me to both Chemistry and Personality. Chemistry and how hot for one another and usually be determined straight off but whether a relationship can be maintained on people feeling it so much for each other but having little else is perhaps debatable.

Personality is regarded by many as important, some people can talk a lot about not very much at all for a very long time and be very entertaining doing so. They probably need very little if anything in the way if shared Interests. Some people can talk to another person with not a lot of input back for quiet some time, others need or prefer to be with others that can talk like them. Just how quickly someone can pick up on the personality of another person and how quickly the other person shows their personality varies. Also how different personalities get on with each other varies and how compatible they are.

So potentially someone striking it right in at least one of either Chemistry, Personality or Interests may find a loved one. If all three can be sorted could that be the best combination in finding the best compatible match?
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Online krimster2

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2019, 06:38:00 PM »
my wife and I had NOTHING in common when we met
besides obvious difference in nationality
a huge difference in our education levels and our familiy's economic backgrounds
musical tastes, EVERYTHING
but...
we both just instantly liked each other the moment we met...
maybe that's what "chemistry" is...

when I first met a woman
and if I elicited this little recognition in her eyes
coupled with a slight smile when she's looking at me
I knew we'd develop some kind of connection
that may become sexual...
I could tell this in the first 60 seconds of meeting
I could see it in their eyes



« Last Edit: June 27, 2019, 06:40:38 PM by krimster2 »

Offline ML

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2019, 08:40:53 PM »
when I first met a woman
and if I elicited this little recognition in her eyes
coupled with a slight smile when she's looking at me
I knew we'd develop some kind of connection
that may become sexual...
I could tell this in the first 60 seconds of meeting
I could see it in their eyes

I was trying to sort through all the gals that I met to see if I could remember much about what I thought in first few seconds or minutes; and possibly what she thought.

Will take a lot more time than I have, or probably really want to invest in.

But, I do recall one gal who was showing signs of a total lack of interest in me from the get go.
Something just didn't sit well with her about me.

However, she dutifully toured me through one museum and through a park, and then on to a late afternoon meal.

Halfway though the meal, I took out a small slip of paper and wrote a short 4 line poem with her name mentioned in every line, and handed it to her.

After reading it, her eyes teared up a bit, she got up, came around the table and kissed me on the cheek.

As we exited the restaurant I asked her what she wanted to do.
She said:  We are going directly to my apartment.

She was one of best kissers I have ever encountered.

Unfortunately, we never had a second date as I met up with an even more fantastic gal on that WMVM trip.

Anyway, the point is . . . sometimes even what appears to be a total disaster initially can be turned around.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online BillyB

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2019, 09:24:31 PM »

Trench, get a woman's respect and she'll love you. Who cares if you both like dancing.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

Offline ML

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2019, 09:26:52 PM »
Trench, get a woman's respect and she'll love you.

Or perhaps she will just continue to respect you.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2019, 12:18:13 AM »
Or perhaps she will just continue to respect you.

This I agree with. Respect is important for a girl to feel for a guy in a relationship, but I think the above three factors, Chemistry, Personality & Interests are the ones at the heart of it all.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2019, 12:30:47 AM »
I was trying to sort through all the gals that I met to see if I could remember much about what I thought in first few seconds or minutes; and possibly what she thought.

Will take a lot more time than I have, or probably really want to invest in.

But, I do recall one gal who was showing signs of a total lack of interest in me from the get go.
Something just didn't sit well with her about me.

However, she dutifully toured me through one museum and through a park, and then on to a late afternoon meal.

Halfway though the meal, I took out a small slip of paper and wrote a short 4 line poem with her name mentioned in every line, and handed it to her.

After reading it, her eyes teared up a bit, she got up, came around the table and kissed me on the cheek.

As we exited the restaurant I asked her what she wanted to do.
She said:  We are going directly to my apartment.

She was one of best kissers I have ever encountered.

Unfortunately, we never had a second date as I met up with an even more fantastic gal on that WMVM trip.

Anyway, the point is . . . sometimes even what appears to be a total disaster initially can be turned around.

I think FSW often have an inbuilt ability to love when certain buttons are pushed as you show here ML that a lot of western women have lost. Almost like they follow a prescribed programming, lol.

I though don't like to push those buttons with a FSW I don't feel is into me. I really need to feel it is natural as I'm not into having a horny time (fun as I'm sure it is :) ) with a girl then moving on. I tend to get invested connection wise in a girl or I don't. Otherwise I tend to think of girl as unfinished business if a connection was made and then we both disappeared from each others lives never to connect again.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline SteveInBoston

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2019, 02:47:05 AM »

Some Interests such as Cars, Motorbikes, Football, etc are obviously difficult as they have a large following among men but a very niche following with females (not including Lesbians). Similarly there are female Interests such as Sewing, hairdressing, etc that tend to have a much greater female following.


Trench, fix this about yourself.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2019, 07:39:48 AM »
Trench, fix this about yourself.

Well I don't really have a particular traditionally male Interest that doesn't translate well with women, but I know some men do. I'm not really at all inti Football, even stuff like cars etc I don't really have a big interest in, I like some of the fancy looking Sports cars & convertibles but not really any past time there. I like watching the odd Boxing match but again no avid following.

I have just began to branch out my core interest of Architecture into a related field that translates better to women. Architecture is great but while it interests a few more women than other subjects it's still mostly a make thing that would bore a lot of women unless you got lucky. Also odds are if the girl is into it in a professional way then it's the old career girl thing which often entails a head to head of how each other sizes up in their career and potential to see each other as competition or end up in disagreement.

So yeah, I'm fixing it at the moment to get onto a subject I think I can get into fairly naturally and which would be a good conversational topic with women. In the past with a few Ukrainian women I have struggled for stuff to say after I've asked about her and found out a fair but about her. So adding to my repatoire of stuff to talk about particularly stuff I could use to talk about a lot if needs be will be handy for me. A couple of the girls have said that I was repeating myself in the stuff I asked them so it will be handy to get away from that.

Also I've met a couple of girls over these past few years that were into the musical/performing arts scene. While it was great find out out about that stuff for a once off its not the sort of world I think I naturally fur into or would want to spend a lot of time in. Traditionally it has been my alternate universe world, I like some music but don't have any deep interest in it or want to spend much in the way of time there.

So yes in terms of Interests I think I'm getting onto a better situation now :)
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline SteveInBoston

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2019, 10:40:07 AM »
Trench,

My comment is not about interests and hobbies.  It's with your view of thinking of people as objects.

See them as a person, not a category.

Online krimster2

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2019, 11:23:27 AM »
when I was a young lad like some of you fellas, I used to date a woman who was a software engineer at this company I worked at
we had this relationship for roughly 3 yr....
intellectually and professionally we had a lot in common
we ALWAYS had great conversations...
but...
she was bi-polar
and when she went into a nose dive, she was just this crazy angry belligerent person
so my whole relationship with her
was about surviving each major up and down
until one time
I fell off the ride

moral of this story,
the best ride is the smoothest ride

avoid women with cognitive dissonance
the absolute BEST way to land a woman in Ukraine
is for HER to seduce YOU

if a hot lookin' Ukrainian woman turns her "erotic charm" setting on maximum
and focuses that on you
you will be like a rabbit staring into the on-coming high-beams
transfixed and helpless...



« Last Edit: June 28, 2019, 11:33:49 AM by krimster2 »

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2019, 06:19:47 PM »
Trench,

My comment is not about interests and hobbies.  It's with your view of thinking of people as objects.

See them as a person, not a category.

Like it or not people do fall into categories, people may not like to think of themselves as a that but generally it is what happens. Are genes tend to determine our interests. I for example am a category, I'm not in the performing arts  or musical category, I'm not really in the sports category but I'm in the History and Architecture category. I can branch out into other categories but odds are I will never enjoy performing arts or have it as my first choice to branch into, it would probably be my last. It's just being practical and asking yourself how likely you would be barking up the wrong tree and trying to get on with someone in a category where there is no interest.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online krimster2

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2019, 08:33:53 PM »
there might be a problem with two introverts
being in a relationship...

that’s why sometimes people from different “categories” as you call them can complement each other...

what is rare, is finding a woman who gives you a sense of real caring
combined with being...
young, mid 20‘s, super hot exotic looks
and she is “extreme flirting” with you
being really forward, lots of suggestive eye contact
casual touching
AND makes you a god damned sandwich and pours you a damned beer!!!!
WTF more could you want?
I mean DAMN!

all you guys who come back empty handed from Ukraine...
you could be enjoying La Dolce Vita
instead of Bee Farmer Onanism
so WTF man, try harder...



« Last Edit: June 28, 2019, 08:58:29 PM by krimster2 »

Online BillyB

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2019, 10:00:24 PM »
I think the above three factors, Chemistry, Personality & Interests are the ones at the heart of it all.

If she doesn't respect you, no matter how great those three things are, you'll be placed in the friend zone. If you spend 20 years working and you're still flipping burgers at McDonalds, a woman isn't going to respect you, she won't love you and she isn't going to open her legs for you. She may sleep with the General Manager at McDonalds though.

If I had to choose between being respected or liked by a woman and can only choose one, I'd choose respected every time.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

Offline SteveInBoston

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2019, 10:55:22 PM »
Like it or not people do fall into categories, people may not like to think of themselves as a that but generally it is what happens. Are genes tend to determine our interests. I for example am a category, I'm not in the performing arts  or musical category, I'm not really in the sports category but I'm in the History and Architecture category. I can branch out into other categories but odds are I will never enjoy performing arts or have it as my first choice to branch into, it would probably be my last. It's just being practical and asking yourself how likely you would be barking up the wrong tree and trying to get on with someone in a category where there is no interest.

Then have fun falling in love with a ... category.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Chemistry, Personality and Interests - Is this the best combination?
« Reply #15 on: June 29, 2019, 03:43:27 AM »
If she doesn't respect you, no matter how great those three things are, you'll be placed in the friend zone. If you spend 20 years working and you're still flipping burgers at McDonalds, a woman isn't going to respect you, she won't love you and she isn't going to open her legs for you. She may sleep with the General Manager at McDonalds though.

If I had to choose between being respected or liked by a woman and can only choose one, I'd choose respected every time.

An interesting thought Billy, I wouldn't discount respect coming into it. I think if a girl doesn't respect the guy there can be real problems and the guy needs to address this. That a girl would not respect a guy for the job he did is an interesting concept. I think that girls that are career girls tend to make life difficult for themselves dating as they discount guys based on the job they do before even meeting them. Indeed the higher they climb the harder I think they make it for themselves in finding a other half. Some girls meet a guy of a similar or greater standing and some girls just remain on the shelf as those high status guys go for the younger prettier girls who aren't going to end up in competition with them I think.
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