Prince Alfie

[prince_alfie]

Hi RWD folks,

I am Alfie aka Prince Alfie. I am currently 29 years old but will be 30 in October. I live here in Salt Lake City UT, the heart of the Rocky Mountains. I work as an injury epidemiologist at the Dept. of Health and I have a masters in public health. Also I do art, mostly graphic computer drawings, and photography as well. I am mostly interested in documentary photography, pop art, Gerhard Richter, Russian culture/language, comparative religion, Leica/Contax/Nikon stuff, and eating good food. I am addicted to sushi mostly and love stuffing myself with it. Russian pop music, rap, and literature are also favorites.

I got into the russian M.O.B./female scene by complete accident. Were it not for the work of a few Fat Yuri's, I would have not considered looking into the FSU for a future spouse. However, I have managed to get out of the futile dating cycle with noncommittal AW's. Perhaps it was God's signal but regardless, it has been rather productive. I am learning Russian through Pimsleur's and a few books from the library.

I hope to be able to contribute fruitfully to RWD. Spasiba, guys! 

[Son of Clyde]

Very intelligent post.
Best of luck, you are young with plenty of time.
You will do ok.

[prince_alfie]

Thank you, Son of Clyde.

Actually I have fairly broad tastes to be honest. I read pretty much everything from Cosmo (no kidding I love to laugh at all the gossip on Lohan) to Bauilliard and his post-structural theories to Jane Austen (who is my favorite author). I love to live life.

Someday I hope to travel more. I often joke about having a honeymoon at the ruins of Troy. I could be an Achilles of a different sort. Of course, I do make my annual pilgrimage to NYC to visit my sister there.

I guess that I'm not the usual guy but I still know how to lose at Halo on Xbox and watch soccer/football and get some kicks from a lousy movie like "John Tucker Must Die".

Russian women seem to be rather awesome. None of the so-called intimidation factor/nerd factor coming here. For example, I doubt that many AW would want to go on a date to see "The Sketches of Frank Gehry". But I bet the RW would 

[jb]

Hey, Alpo,

If you live in Salt Lake, and are a Mormon, why don't you just bop over to BYU?  There's a large delegation of Russian students over there.  The Mormons have been giving out scholarships to BYU for a number of years as they proselytize in Russia and the Ukraine.  The obvious benefit to finding a girl there is that they all speak pretty good English and they've already been thouroughly exposed to your brand of religion.  Plus, you would have a chance to date in a more normal fashion, and if you did score at least you'd know ahead of time that you weren't being measured for a mule suit.

You'd have to be prepared for some possible rejection however, as those girls are going to be less desperate and probably a bit more picky.  I know of this because my eldest step-son graduated from UU in 2005 and lived up there for 6 or 8 years and never had to worry about finding a Russian girlfriend.  There's tons of them around.

[prince_alfie]

The irony is although I am LDS, I find that AW members are rather too picky for my liking. Although I haven't met any Russian students down at the Y yet. Thanks for the suggestion . I might be the only nutcase around here in the MOB scene at my own age ...

I don't mind a little desperation however. I do want a gal to want me for sure!

[beattledog]

Prince,
take your time .  Do not just go for the looks of the woman, but also her inner beauty and personality

beattledog

[prince_alfie]

Spasiba, beattledog. I appreciate your positive feedback. I agree. I like a balance between physicial and spiritual looks.

[jb]

Alfie,

I've been reading your posts now for awhile now, and I do wonder if you are in the right place.

Please don't consider what I have to say as a flame, but I'd like to give you a little brotherly advice.  You have a few things going against you as you think about pursuit of an ethnic Russian girl for marriage.  As I understand it, you are ethnically 100% Asian, (from the pic you posted with the cat, IIRC, probably of Korean extraction.  Or, am I confusing you with someone else?).  If that was indeed you, are you aware of the ramppant racism that pervades Russian culture?  That would be strike one.  This is going to make the search infinitely more difficult because most white ethnic Russian women want to marry the same, and have babies which look like the same.  We here in the US are growing more accustomed to seeing mixed race marriages everyday, however it is still something of a rarity in Russia.

You are also Mormon.  Strike two.  Don't missunderstand, I have nothing personal against LDS, however most Russian/Ukrainian women who have any religious leanings at all are probably Russian/Eastern Orthodox Catholic.  Orthodox Catholicism and LDS would be a poor mix.  The other things you've mentioned interest in is a Kazakh Muslim woman, this, IMHO, would also a very poor mix.  Unless you'd be willing to convert, you might not be successful in such a marriage.  The other option would be an atheist, in which case you'd have to give up your religion altogether, are you willing to say adios to the LDS Church for the sake of a pretty face?

This is not intended to be a jab at you, merely something to give you food for thought.

[prince_alfie]

I appreciate your advice, JB. I know that I have a lot of hardships going against me but I have been able to weather through all of this. I am pretty open-minded for a LDS guy (mostly active in church) around here in Utah. Of course, being Asian has its limits but I think that I can overcome. Maybe I'm rather optimistic but I am always up for a challenge. It's what life is about. Of course I know that dating a lady of a different religion can be hard but it will be worth overcoming differences. I think that to being a good drawing point.

I guess that I'm a guy who likes to look at the similarities in everything in life. It's a blessing here. Of course, dating in the LDS church has become a challenge considering that I have been rather frustrated with the scene in 4-5 different places (ranging from Indiana to Yale to Salt Lake City)... So AW haven't really been all that as of late...

Of course, I'm trying to learn Russian slowly. Considering that I've been in a time crunch. Also one of my friends living in New York (who is LDS) is dating a young LDS girl in Kiev and is planning to visit her next year. I am helping him in that project.

[Bruno]

Of course, being Asian has its limits but I think that I can overcome.

Not really a problem, you can hunt in area like Kyrgyzstan ... Women of Kyrgyzstan combine Asian and Russian culture...

Try http://www.svetlanasbrides.com/start.htm
or
http://freepersonals.ru/search.php?country=23&action=search_by_params&gender=f&submit=Search

[prince_alfie]

Indeed, I can recommend Uzbek as well. Tashkent has a good intersection between Korean and Russian cultures.

[catzenmouse]

Don't the LDS do missionary work in the FSU? Why not try to get involved in one of those trips? Might just be what you want.

Ken

[prince_alfie]

I forgot to add that I'm really interested in Russian art. As a young kid, I looked at Constructivism and got hooked into connecting the mechanical into the playfulness of the art context. Tatlin, Malevich, and El Lissitzky all sparked my interest. I enjoyed that formal approach welded to a hidden playfulness that Soviet culture could not suppress.

Ironically I have to admit that I'm kind of a post-Marxist type of guy. I am really big into Bauilliard and find his critique of American consumerism to be pretty entertaining. Of course I don't agree with everything but in post-structuralist worlds, who knows what disagreement is anyways?

I admit that I really relish the idea of RW as a playful creature tettering between two worlds. Under that supposed veil of submissiveness, there is a strength in a Russian lady. They can be sexy in a less gaudy way than AW, but be more seductive (can't really explain too easily)... Ironically even though the culture is pretty feminist, it is one which is geared to family life, not selfishness like in the US. I really like the complex mythology of RW and regardless of whether I'm actually delusional about it, it is worth my efforts to understand to win over her heart...

D'accord looks like I'm fin with this lil bit.

[prince_alfie]

I am way too old to serve a mission to the FSU actually. I am nearing 30 years old now. Actually I had two friends at Yale who served missions over there and it was rather interesting in fact. They joked about marrying Russian women (before they married AW) earlier but it was a passing phase.

I wish that I had their command of the Russian language. Missions are good for training guys in the language.

By the way, I'm a convert to the LDS faith (senior year at Vandy) so I wasn't born in the church... also I am interested in marrying a good-hearted girl regardless of her status. Her kindness and elegance will win my heart over the cultural aspects. Perhaps I'm too optimistic in thinking that those can be overcome.

[jb]

Of course, dating in the LDS church has become a challenge considering that I have been rather frustrated with the scene in 4-5 different places (ranging from Indiana to Yale to Salt Lake City)... So AW haven't really been all that as of late...

Alfie, you kinda make my point for me.  As a general rule of thumb, if you can't date THAT kind of girl at home, then you can't date THAT kind of girl there either.   If you've been successful with AW in the past, then you might be successful with younger and prettier in the FSU, but women are women the world over.   Whatever success you have had in the past is the direction you should pursue, where you've found closed doors here, it is likely to be the same over in the FSU. 

Have you considered any of the Asian MOB sites?  My cousin married a Thai girl who is, IMHO, one of the most stunning women I've ever seen.

I just hate to see any man spinning his wheels needlessly.  Your time, efforts,,, and money, might be better spent on more achievable goals rather than on RW fantasy and pipe dreams.  I wish you well, my friend, but if you go to Russia, not speaking the language, not understanding the day-to-day culture, with only a pocket full of dreams and the address of a MOB agency, well,,,your appreciation of Russian and Byzantine art will do you no good on the street, my guess is you will be fleeced like a spring lamb.  The pro-daters will have you for lunch.

[prince_alfie]

Actually it's not that I have problems finding dates here at home. It's moving up to the full commitment. I had a lot of g/f around here during the past year, NONE of which led to marriage. I'm pretty fed up with the lack of commitment and lack of marriage-mindedness existing here. 

[jb]

LOL,, Alfie, you are foolin' yourself.

If you are 29-30 y.o. and dating LDS girls who are,,, say,, 20-26 y.o., believe me, they are as marriage minded as any woman on the planet.  They are just not viewing you as desirable, take you home to meet daddy, spend the rest of my life eating sushi, be the father of my children, marriage material.  Have you ever developed a relationship with a girl deep enough that you could ask, and get an honest answer, about why she wasn't interested in making a commitment with you?   There's handwriting on the wall, you just need to focus on it.

You strike me as being a really smart guy, Alfie, but you do not strike me as being a really wise one. 

[prince_alfie]

The answer is rather simple: the LDS girls here in Utah are just too picky. That's it.

And a better shot at the RW world. Less picky over there you know.

There is a term called maximum economic yield in economics courses. LDS women pretty much a minimal ROI in my dating experience. 1 engagement in 175 dates (about) during the past 9 years.

[jb]

Alfie, with every post of self-denial you nudge me closer to the "ignore" button.  I had not wanted to give up on you, but I'm able to recognize a lost cause when I see it.

Have it your own way....  Good luck, have a nice life.

[Shadow]

Alfie I see you have met jb. While his posts may seem harsh, he has the wisdom of an old grandfather for the newbies here.
What he is tryin to tell you is that the luck you are thinking you missed here might not at all be better in the FSU.

If you are looking for a woman who is 'less picky' what you might get is a woman who is less concerned with her husband as with her future status as AW. If you look for a girl with a good heart that will be a good wife for you I think you should be the one who is less picky, not her. Otherwise what you have going for you is that you are young and still have some time.
If you do not mind spending the next 4-5 years and a smal fortune looking for the perfect woman, then try to look at yourself as a woman would see you. Picture yourself with your favorite swimsuit model and then think why she (or a RW who looks like her) would find you the ideal man. If the only answer you can come up with is your money and passport (aka your good character and kind heart) then stay away from women who look like her.
Then start your journey. Prepare yourself by reading a lot, and knowing that when opportunity arrives you will have to be able to travel within 3 months. Be prepared to spend some serious money, even if the woman will not ask for anything the trip and process will cost you. If you can read enough to be half an immigration lawyer, it will help you once things start progressing.

Do not think women in the FSU will be in love with your writing and pictures, even if they are genuinely interested in you. The meeting will decide. Do not fall in love with her either. Regarding mixed races do not worry. Check out the pictures of Billyb and his woman. While he wrote 500 women to find her, he managed.
Throughout your search you will meet a lot of people who will question your motives and ideas in looking for an FSU woman. Stay focused and you will reach your goal. Be in doubt and you will lose.

[BC]

Similar topics have come up before here.  In the end I think it's an uphill battle for anyone going the MOB route.  I guess there are a lot of factors that determine how steep the path is including ones origins.  Considering how many members here have gotten married over the last year and a half it must be quite steep indeed, regardless.

One of my wifes girlfriends married a Korean guy this year. Don't know much about them except that he's been living in RU practically forever and has a small business there.  She could be hot or not.. who knows.

Heck I stick out like a sore thumb in FSU too, often being confused as a Turk.

[prince_alfie]

Thanks Shadow. I will stay definitely true to the course. In fact, I've been training me to learn Russian 1-2 lessons per month. And reading up on the forums and culture too.

Also I've been watching some Russian movies to learn more of the language. It's pretty much the same methodology that I used at Vandy to learn German (1 year only...)...

I do regret not learning Russian back in undergrad however. Alas, the folly of youth!

[BillyB]

Prince Alfie,

While many have mentioned your Asian heritage as an uphill battle, which is true, I felt your biggest obstacle was whipping yourself into shape appearance wise and figuring out how to be a desirable man personality and character wise. I remember you on another forum seeing your pics and profile and you were communicating with scammers. Have you learned to avoid scammers? Have you been writing real women yet? What is their interest level in you? Remember, a woman can accept how you look physically but you can turn her off with what you write in letters or talk about on the phone. As I said before, the good news is you're probably not going to marry a racist. But keep in mind, just because a woman isn't attracted to an Asian man doesn't mean she's racist.

[andrewfi]

As jb points out. If the women won't commit to you, it is not marriage they are rejecting but you! A woman from the FSU may not reject you for the same reasons, but her acceptance willcome with a price.

IMHO, if you cannot do it at home, you can't do it here, or anywhere else.

Find out why you can not get that which you want from women who share age, education,culture and language before looking for some foreign bint with an accent who will 'settle for you'. Then when you have dealt with your personal issues, then you might find a woman from the FSU who will want you for you and will not 'settle for you' on the basis of factors outside of you.

Even if they may not love you when they get married to you, you should at least expect that they WANT to marry YOU and not the destination.

[prince_alfie]

Thanks for your advice, BillyB and Andrewfin. 

Of course, it's not that I've been unsuccessful because of them. It's often because I know what I want but can't seem to find that combo in a AW (particularly the LDS women around here)... the challenges are not insurmountable. But I am always going to be forging ahead and that's my attitude.

BillyB's relationship does provide a fine example of how things work. Of course, someday I plan to tell my own story, you know?