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Author Topic: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU  (Read 8098 times)

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Offline Boethius

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #100 on: November 19, 2020, 12:22:27 PM »

I did not make a single disparaging comment about your wife
nor any other person that you know. I posted my belief that YOU
did something.

You said you didn't do that thing. I said you did, you said you didn't,
I said I believe you did, you said you didn't. There is no productive
reason for the mods to put up with you and I repeating it another
40 to 400 times. 

What Trench did was to disparage a person that a member knew
(and Trench didn't) who couldn't defend herself.

That has never been considered acceptable behavior on this forum
or any other.

Trench has made similar comments in the past about women, though not a particular woman.  Each time, he's been called out on it, either by me, or, usually, moby.  Yet he persists.  He's not the only poster here to express misogynistic views.  The now banned Sting was another.  Thankfully, it is rarer now than it was in the past.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #101 on: November 19, 2020, 12:41:20 PM »
Trench has made similar comments in the past about women, though not a particular woman.  Each time, he's been called out on it, either by me, or, usually, moby.  Yet he persists.  He's not the only poster here to express misogynistic views.  The now banned Sting was another.  Thankfully, it is rarer now than it was in the past.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

Yes he does it all the time. It's nice that he has a thread like this to dump
his crap in.

In my opinion, his completely off topic posts should be considered for placement
here as well. He has 50-60 posts on somebody else's trip report.

Look at this
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=20000.0

He has totally taken over threads


Lastly, Moby follows him around as he does Maxx and others. Moby jumps
Trench for nearly every post he makes. You wait for Trench to say something
ridiculous before calling him to task.

« Last Edit: November 19, 2020, 01:38:44 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #102 on: November 19, 2020, 12:42:51 PM »
IMHO, it's a positive that he is willing to engage with other posters.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #103 on: November 19, 2020, 01:09:36 PM »
IMHO, it's a positive that he is willing to engage with other posters.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

It would be nice however, the OP never posted on the thread again.
Trench took over the thread

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online msmob

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #104 on: November 20, 2020, 06:47:44 AM »
I did not make a single disparaging comment about your wife }

You told us her words were not her words and ran away from knowing you made an arse of yourself.

If you state someone is fibbing...and you said 'nobody' believed it was wifey, you should face the music.



I offered you a way out. It would have been settled with a laugh.

Calling someone a liar, then refusing to see you were 'mistaken  is that unacceptable?

Online 2tallbill

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Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #105 on: November 20, 2020, 09:00:10 AM »
You told us her words were not her words and ran away from knowing you made an arse of yourself.

If you state someone is fibbing...and you said 'nobody' believed it was wifey, you should face the music.

I offered you a way out. It would have been settled with a laugh.

Calling someone a liar, then refusing to see you were 'mistaken  is that unacceptable?

I believe you made that post.

You've got me on ignore, maybe you should ignore me.
Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #106 on: November 20, 2020, 11:49:39 AM »
I believe you made that post.

You've got me on ignore, maybe you should ignore me.
Udachi!

Bill
Of course he made that post. Now up to his usual tricks.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #107 on: November 23, 2020, 03:25:58 PM »
Anyone know if Japs will be returning anytime soon? I noticed that his trip report was removed a couple of weeks ago and that he was flagged up as Moderated, so maybe possibly banned or suspended for a short while? Both I feel is a great shame as he contributed greatly on here and his trip report had some great stuff in it. Kind of a breath of fresh air to here from someone with experience that doesn't hang out here all the time and of course presently in Ukraine so behind the wall where all the action is happening with boots on the ground. I know I have benefited enormously from his contribution on here :) :clapping:
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Online msmob

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #108 on: November 23, 2020, 04:08:18 PM »
Trench,

What did he 'contribute'?

1/ where to go to get cheaper tattoos ?

2/ theories that many women like tattoos and beards ?

3/ yet another poster living there that could not be bothered to try to learn the local lingo?

4/ boasting of 'sexual conquests' whilst still hung up on one particular lady..

That was 'useful' to you?.




Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #109 on: November 23, 2020, 04:26:51 PM »
Trench,

What did he 'contribute'?

1/ where to go to get cheaper tattoos ?

2/ theories that many women like tattoos and beards ?

3/ yet another poster living there that could not be bothered to try to learn the local lingo?

4/ boasting of 'sexual conquests' whilst still hung up on one particular lady..

That was 'useful' to you?.

I mean other than those things. The tattoo thing featured heavily but I think there was a lot of philosophy behind what Japs did and realisation of who he was and where he wanted to be. Japs kind of had his sh*t together, he had found who he was, he had a good business going, he was dating beautiful women and he was in the place he wanted to be, at least at that moment in time, possibly Russia, Moscow or something.

I know you and he did get along but then you don't with most people on here ;D
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Online msmob

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #110 on: November 23, 2020, 10:57:06 PM »
Trench,

You believing the poster formerly known by various nicks as being 'grounded', speaks volumes.

I am not posting on here to be 'popular'...If I see a TR that is positively advising all that is wrong re helping find a partner in the FSU, I think it is vital to say so and why.

That you would regard such 'advice' as 'worthy' is scary.

I have had two failed marriages, which means I accept I am not perfect.. but I do know 'pulling' is the  easier part and maintaining a LTR is a greater challenge.

Suggesting entering into various liaisons while still emotionally tied to another is unfair to other ladies and not a sign of stability.

« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 06:13:12 AM by msmob »

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #111 on: November 24, 2020, 12:39:21 AM »
Trench,

You believing the poster formerly known by various nicks as being 'grounded, speaks volumes.

I am not posting on here to be 'popular'...If I see a TR that is positively advising all that is wrong re helping find a partner in the FSU, I think it is vital to say so and why.

That you would regard such 'advice' as 'worthy' is scary.

I have had two failed marriages, which means I accept I am not perfect.. but I do know 'pulling' is the  easier part and maintaining a LTR is a greater challenge.

Suggesting entering into various liaisons while still emotionally tied to another is unfair to others and not a sign of stability.
That would suggest that you are the last person to be giving advice on dating or seeking relationships and then compounding that by maintaining that your way is the only way and all other perspectives are wrong. (WOVO vs WMVM)

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #112 on: November 24, 2020, 12:19:09 PM »
That would suggest that you are the last person to be giving advice on dating or seeking relationships and then compounding that by maintaining that your way is the only way and all other perspectives are wrong. (WOVO vs WMVM)


I disagree, to a degree.


No one can really give advice on relationships, because what individuals want in a relationship varies. From reading this forum, I get the impression that what most men here seek is a woman to whom they are physically attracted, and anything beyond that is just gravy.  The fact marriages to FSUW occur quickly, without a common language, or culture, reinforces my perception.  However, beauty fades with time, both in terms of getting used to what your wife's looks, and the ravages of time.  Most of you are shallow. :P


I do agree that "WOVO vs WMVM" is down to personal preference and a man's personality.  A man who doesn't date widely at home, and is not charismatic, probably isn't going to succeed with a "WMVM" approach.  Nor will a man who doesn't enjoy dating a variety of women at home.  I think this is what moby misses.


This post was composed without the aid of google.



True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Online msmob

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #113 on: November 24, 2020, 08:45:42 PM »
Boethius,

I think it is pretty safe for me to paint myself as not lacking in charisma..that's just a fact...I have no problem with engaging total strangers ..Are we 'shallow' for seeking a woman who attracts us with good looks / nice figure...Hell, yes. I must be one of the shallowest..I just seek it in someone closer to my years..my consession to 'reality'.. as I am getting older and realise we have a finite time on the planet, that other things become important.

Choosing a partner is not something to rush..VM is too much like buying at an auction. Bargains to be had as well as you land land lemon in a moment of blood rushing to the head )







I have tried both VM and VO and the former SUCKS.

It is some 'excuse' used by members for an ego trip..or "Oh, I need to justify my time"....

Very few would adopt the same tactic at home.

If you are seriously looking for wife..No WAY one can tell on one date, with the clock ticking before the next.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #114 on: November 25, 2020, 07:05:26 AM »
That would suggest that you are the last person to be giving advice on dating or seeking relationships and then compounding that by maintaining that your way is the only way and all other perspectives are wrong. (WOVO vs WMVM)

Exactly, Mobe calls me out for giving advice based on my 'failures' at dating and then does exactly the same lol. Sure he's relationships have been more long term but two have failed to date in marriage, then there are any non marital relationships we may not know about on top of that.

He's argument appears to be that he as such knows where it can go wrong, I could argue the same :)
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #115 on: November 25, 2020, 07:16:34 AM »
Choosing a partner is not something to rush..VM is too much like buying at an auction. Bargains to be had as well as you land land lemon in a moment of blood rushing to the head )







I have tried both VM and VO and the former SUCKS.

It is some 'excuse' used by members for an ego trip..or "Oh, I need to justify my time"....

Very few would adopt the same tactic at home.

If you are seriously looking for wife..No WAY one can tell on one date, with the clock ticking before the next.

I think it depends on the person. Some people don't really know themselves, some think they do but they don't, some perhaps many people may go their whole life without really finding out who they are. If you know yourself then you know exactly what to look for so a VO is obviously the way to go, probably the only way. If you don't know who you are (and the girl may not know who she is) then a VM is a good option as you get to meet a wide variety of people and it gives you a better idea of the differences and what suits better.

When I was in Lviv as you recall I tried VM, it was my first time at it and mistakes were made as it's an almost entirely different process to VO. So my VM ended up as meeting two different girls the bare minimum to avoid it being seen as another VO. I'm now glad I met both. The first girl as you may recall I didn't get on with, she smoked too much, kind off a party girls, too dominant, etc. The second girl was way more on my wavelength but I fluffed it up due to lack of experience dating FSW. Meeting the two though showed me what I way more preferred. That's not to say had I gotten into a full on relationship with girl two that it would have worked out just that she was by far the better option compared to girl one.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #116 on: November 25, 2020, 07:26:00 AM »
Trench,

You believing the poster formerly known by various nicks as being 'grounded', speaks volumes.

I am not posting on here to be 'popular'...If I see a TR that is positively advising all that is wrong re helping find a partner in the FSU, I think it is vital to say so and why.

That you would regard such 'advice' as 'worthy' is scary.

I have had two failed marriages, which means I accept I am not perfect.. but I do know 'pulling' is the  easier part and maintaining a LTR is a greater challenge.

Suggesting entering into various liaisons while still emotionally tied to another is unfair to other ladies and not a sign of stability.

Indeed, I know, still not sure why the username Japtats, I get the tats is for tattoos, but the Jap part, Japanese tattoos? I'm probably wrong on that guess, lol.

I think Japs may have not gotten everything quite right possibly, difficult bro say he has to work he's life the way he sees it. It may not be fair to the lady but out in the FSU/Ukraine many things aren't fair, that is life out there, being too fair out there doesn't tend to be rewarded nor indeed part of their society to any great extent.

Japs gave me some great advice and that has really come through for me off recent. Still a way to go and although it didn't happen directly as a result of his advice he did notice stuff about me and where I needed to be. I'm hoping he will return one day, he's younger than me but despite a few misgivings I think has a great take on life.
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Online msmob

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #117 on: November 25, 2020, 08:17:37 AM »
Indeed, I know, still not sure why the username Japtats, I get the tats is for tattoos, but the Jap part,

Japs gave me some great advice and that has really come through for me off recent.

Please share.. as I missed you announcing you were now in a LTR

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #118 on: November 25, 2020, 10:21:06 AM »
Please share.. as I missed you announcing you were now in a LTR

Ooo Mobers, now is not the right time to share, but I will in due course.

Not everything is about an LTR Mobers.
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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #119 on: November 25, 2020, 11:00:43 AM »
So... you are talking to someone on a regular basis, hopefully.

Good luck)

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #120 on: November 25, 2020, 12:22:21 PM »
I could argue the same :)


Not really.  Serial short term dating is not the same as a failed marriage, particularly one that lasted years.


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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #121 on: November 25, 2020, 04:03:36 PM »
A lot of trenches theories and comments reminds me of conversations with friends when we were in our early teens at high school. None of us had any real
relationship experience to draw on so often conversations were not based in reality, but fantasy.

I know trench hasnt ever had a serious relationship or probably even a girlfriend, because he avoids answering when ive asked the question several times. Also the fact a lot of this comments just seem strange to guys like myself who are the same age, have courted a woman, got married, raised a family, divorced and then started and entered new relationships.....On that point trench, theres a lot of quality advice a divorced man can give you that a long term happily married man cant.

I think if hes lucky to eventually find the right woman for him and experience his first relationship hell look back on his comments here and see just how far off the mark he has been, but finding that first woman to give him a go is the tricky part. He needs to trust the experienced people here, even those who are divorced and make the changes they suggest before continuing.

Trench, Bill have you a gem a few months ago and you totally ignored it re-: missing the most important step in modern FSU dating.... Video chatting and building chemistry online before meeting. You obviously lack the ability to do this in real life because of your lack of experience with women, so I dont understand why you avoid video chatting.

Its far easier to build chemistry online first, than building chemistry from scratch face to face. Ive been on a few blind dates since my divorce and dont have problems with building chemistry, while meeting a woman whos essentially a stranger, but ive learnt from experience that chatting for a week or two reduces the pressure and makes for a more comfortable and ultimately successful first date.

 The guys who give you advice here are light years in front of you and me when it comes to FSU dating and experience with good girls . Ive been lucky to have met two of theses women, but you have yet to meet even one whos genuinely interested in you..... you have a case of failing to launch when it comes to fsu dating and women in general, but all is not lost if you just listen to the experienced people replying to you in this thread.

As a man approaching his mid 40s like me, all you should take from Japs report is its an interesting read, but has little relevance to us. We are in a totally different situation to him..... He lives in Russia, we dont. Hes dating younger women, we arent (if were realistic). He can meet numerous fsu women everyday in real life, we cant. Our strategy is simple.... Meet women online and use all the tools available to get to know her and see if theres mutual chemistry, then see if that chemistry is there in real life.

I still see myself as a newbie and Ive been passing what I know to random guys I meet online who are complete beginners. No exaggeration, it takes approximately an hour chatting on the phone to give them enough information to successfully meet genuine women after several days online.... Women that seem to be good girls on paper and worthwhile planning a trip to meet them. One was in love with a visa scammer in January. After some guidance hes turned things around and made two trips to Turkey to met 5 wonderful FSU women. His worry atm is which woman to choose to purse further....they all have great qualities . You have infinitely more knowledge than him, so you need to ask yourself why youre struggling with the first and in my opinion the easiest step of this adventure.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2020, 08:20:17 PM by Davo »

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #122 on: November 25, 2020, 04:32:06 PM »

p.s, as a man approaching his mid 40s like me, all you should taken from Japs report is its an interesting read but has little relevance to us. We are in a totally different situation to him..... He lives in Russia, we dont. Hes dating younger women, we arent. He can meet numerous women everyday in real life, we cant. Our strategy is simple.... Meet women online and use all the tools available to get to know her and see if theres mutual chemistry, then see if that chemistry is there in real life.

I don't live in Russia, been to Russia many times, nor do i actually live in Ukraine, but more like jump between FSU and digital nomad. I have dated a lot of women though, but dismiss the ones where i feel we are not a right match. Women tend to tell you the right things, until you actually date them, and see the ones who are legit, and the ones who are just lazy.

I actually follow the talk to many, visit one approach, but invite them to go to another city with me, and spend my time with them. That is what i did with all my Russian girlfriends, and wouldn't do it any differently currently. My fiance would have never stuck with me for 8 months whilst i was financially broke, if i was talking to many different women. We both were committed to each other, spend hours video each day, and that is the only reason it lasted as long as it did.

Now i do not commit to women, i don't like to open myself up to every woman i meet. And rather see where it leads.

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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #123 on: November 25, 2020, 08:39:45 PM »
I don't live in Russia, been to Russia many times, nor do i actually live in Ukraine, but more like jump between FSU and digital nomad. I have dated a lot of women though, but dismiss the ones where i feel we are not a right match. Women tend to tell you the right things, until you actually date them, and see the ones who are legit, and the ones who are just lazy.

I actually follow the talk to many, visit one approach, but invite them to go to another city with me, and spend my time with them. That is what i did with all my Russian girlfriends, and wouldn't do it any differently currently. My fiance would have never stuck with me for 8 months whilst i was financially broke, if i was talking to many different women. We both were committed to each other, spend hours video each day, and that is the only reason it lasted as long as it did.

Now i do not commit to women, i don't like to open myself up to every woman i meet. And rather see where it leads.

Great to see you are back Japs and your trip report thread restored :)
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Re: Trenchcoat's Further Theories on, and Experiences of, Dating in the FSU
« Reply #124 on: November 26, 2020, 07:17:38 AM »
Your post was excellent, Davo


 


Bill have you a gem a few months ago and you totally ignored it re-: missing the most important step in modern FSU dating.... Video chatting and building chemistry online before meeting.


Not sure I agree that Beel still believes V.chat should be used to filter out ladies you'd not want to meet in a VM trip, but if he did mean that, I apologise

 

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