BUSTED! I am starting to wonder.....

[FSUrookie]

I am starting to wonder if the whole Ukrainian - Russian girl, long trip - overseas dating thing - is worth all the time money and hassel? I know there are great women in the FSU countries, but dealing with the "Middle-Men" dating agencies is becoming very discouraging. For the guys who have been there and married a FSU woman, Is it just luck or is it worth the effort for the rest of us who are still seeking our future wife? What are the precentages of success (roughly)?

With that said, after I initiated contact with my first letter to a girl on Confidential Connections, below is the first letter that I received from her. Also note that a friend of mine who sent the same girl a completely different intro letter, received the exact same response letter below. Who writes these letters? The Interpreter? The Office Manager? Is there anything us guys can do to make sure these agencies are legit, and if they are not legit, what can we do to stop them? Besides refusing to partonize these agancies, what can we do to make the Dating Agency Industry legit? There must be something?

*********************************************************
Hello dear xxxxx! I am honoured to get your letter as every woman is pleased when the man she is interested in pays attention to her. I suppose I can say "Welcome to my heart!" No. I do not mean that just now I am ready to open my heart completely, that won't be interesting to you, am I right? So step by step, turn by turn we'll give the part of information to each other. So now it's my turn.

Frankly speaking I have come to this agency occassionally. I was reading the newspaper and I saw the advertisment. I thought why, why Americans wanted Ukrainian ladies? So this question I leave to you but I want to answer it from my side. I do not think that I am old, I am 22 and it is a little bit unpleasant for me that I still have no boyfriend. I do not like Ukrainian men, no I am not a "naughty girl", maybe I just had to be born in another country? And suddenly I realised that I wanted to love and to be loved, how long should I wait for my man. So I came here, saw you and decided that something could be between us. How long have I to be alone??? By the way I like to learn the cultures of different people, it is very interesting for me. I am psychologist (I study it at University)so from this moment I am getting to learn you. Different man from another country...

I do not care of the age difference as I can not communicate with the men of my age, they are not serious, they are not real. I find older men more attractive as they are more matured, more careful and thoughtful. The main is not the age of the person but what you feel when you are with him. It's human's nature - to be there where it is good for him.

I am very energetik person and I try to give my energy to other people, that makes me happy. I like to smile, I like to live.

I go in for ballroom dancing so dances and psychology are two of my greatest passions! I also like travelling very much!

I want my man to be only with me, to love me, to respect me and to trust me, that's what I need. Maybe I am flying in heavens but I do believe that such things happen in our life. I'd give all my heart to the man who treated me like a woman, like a person, like a wife. I am very honest, I want it very much.

I want you to reply this letter and if I was too talkative, I am sorry;-)))) I know that I am one of many many girls who write you but I want you to know that you are the only one whom I liked among many other men and I just now I want to stop my search. With this letter I am sending my photos to you where I send my smile to you;-) Sincerely Nadja

www.confidentialconnections.com/details.rpx?id=3867
*********************************************************

[Durk]

        Hi Rookie and welcome to the club!! I would like you to tell us a little more about yourself.
The letter you have included hear makes me real nervous. ??? I am new to this industry as well
and wonder the same things. I viewed here for almost two years before I considered signing up. I
can tell you from what I have seen there is a great wealth of knowledge here to help all of us.
         This industry needs some serious clean up and I have to sometimes wonder myself why I
 decided to look out of the country for a wife.
          AWs have just destroyed my friends personal lives and I decided to take a look at the big
picture. I will tell you the trip reports here both bad and good are very worth while and there is a
lot of quality people here too.
          I would say go ahead and write her, but dump her if she askes for money! Get away from
the agency as soon as possible and write her personally. I still think the letter is real heavy and
over written. She does not care about the age difference ??? Be carefull and I am not sure about
that agency as well!

[TexasBoar]

At the risk of starting the same sort of firestorm here, I feel like I should point out that Confidential Connections has a somewhat, aaaah, dubious reputation on several of these fora.  I haven't checked the archives of this forum yet . . . but you might.

More experienced hands at this than me (which would be everyone here but Alfie, I think . . .  ) can reply in more detail as to the worth of the pursuit, as well as some of the more flagrantly dubious aspects of Nadja's letter.

~Boar

[SANDRO43]

after I initiated contact with my first letter to a girl on Confidential Connections

FSUrookie, other members here will probably offer their advice as to the advisability of using dating agencies.

That said, be aware that Confidential Connections have a very bad track record in this business (because that's what it is). Therefore, before dealing with an agency in the future, it would be advisable to have a look at :
1. The  Review section and,
2. The Scammer and Suspect Agencies thread

If you do not find your particular agency there, post a query in 2 above before investing any money .

[BillyB]

What are the precentages of success (roughly)?

If you were dealing with a decent agency and you were a decent guy who has a lot going for you and you are willing to visit ladies in person, I'd say you'd have over a 50% chance to succeed if you find a decent lady who's into you to correspond with. But, since you're using Confidential Connections(CC), I'd give you less than 1% chance to succeed no matter how great a guy you are.  There's a good chance the person writing letters to you is Igor, the employee of the month, instead of the woman in the photo. Also I've read stories of guys visiting a CC girl and the girl doesn't remember the letters written to her and sometimes she just milks the guy for dates and gifts. You're just wasting your money and time with CC and all they are selling you is a fantasy.

FSUrookie, do lots of reading here to get educated if you want to succeed. Ask questions and we shall answer.

[Turboguy]

I think the fact that your buddy got the same letter you did would not bother me a bit.  Particularly for the first letter.  Many of the gals get hundreds of letters and many use a cut and paste first letter.   I never let that bother me.  My first letter to them is cut and paste and if they compare notes with a friend whose listing I answered she could make the same comment.   However if I am still getting cut and paste letters after the first three I just assume I am wasting my time.

So that part would not bother me.  I have to agree, the fact you are writing her through CC would worry me totally.   The odds she is real and wrote you that letter or even knows she is writing you are minuscule.

[SANDRO43]

At the risk of starting the same sort of firestorm here, I feel like I should point out that Confidential Connections has a somewhat, aaaah, dubious reputation on several of these fora.  I haven't checked the archives of this forum yet . . . but you might.

Tex, your delicacy is exemplary. Have you considered changing your nick to TexasDoe ?

[ConnerVT]

I think the fact that your buddy got the same letter you did would not bother me a bit.  Particularly for the first letter.  Many of the gals get hundreds of letters and many use a cut and paste first letter.   I never let that bother me.  My first letter to them is cut and paste and if they compare notes with a friend whose listing I answered she could make the same comment.   However if I am still getting cut and paste letters after the first three I just assume I am wasting my time.

TG, I first thought that too.  But did you read the content?  Not a cut and paste job.  Smelled more like a scam to me.

[Kevin]

Wow, I still surprise people continue to use CC even after the join this board.  The letter you see is most likely a form letter that is generated either by the agent or the software. I have an exact copy of this letter on file myself from other clients.

Best advice, Research the agency before using them.  Their are only a few honest ones out there and many scams sites.  Listen to their clients comments and results.  A web site can easily be created to give the impression that they have 100's of marriage and everyone comment on the referral pages seem to be filled with pages of glory. Only to find out latter that they just had a very creative webmaster.  Stick with the sites that give you access to their clients and are recommend on this site.

Kevin

[Turboguy]

Conner, I agree with you about that.  I probably should have worded what I was trying to say a little more carefully.  I was really just saying that in general a lot of people use cut and paste first letters and someone else getting one that was identical to the one she sent me would not scare me off.  There does need to be a point where the letters become real, ask questions, answer my questions.  If you pay much attention at all the cut and paste letters are easy to spot.  I do agree, her letter sounds like a scammers letter but with CC you are not usually getting real letters anyway.

[TexasBoar]

Tex, your delicacy is exemplary. Have you considered changing your nick to TexasDoe ?

Ooooh . . . that's gonna leave a mark. 

I'm generally cautious and diplomatic about "owning" secondhand info, unlike some, hence the uncharacteristic "delicacy" in that post.  Not having had personal experience with CC, I just didn't feel like I could be my usual blunt self! 

~Boar <---- (and please, don't call me Tex.  I'm merely a naturalized Texan, and the nick "Tex" really ought to be reserved for the "born and raised")

[Voyageur]

Believe me, from personal experience, the letters that you can receive from a CC woman can be far more than "cut-and-paste".  I wrote three letters a week to a woman I met on this site. The letters were over the course of about three months or so and were very specific and crafted in response to my letters. (Interestingly, the volume of responses went down after I purchased the service to - for a flat rate of $ 50.00 for one month, I think - to exchange an unlimited number of letters with a woman on the site)  .  When I met the woman in Kiev, she was the woman in the picture but had no clue about any of the letters.

A way around this crap is to look for the woman's picture on another site. This can sometimes happen. I was also corresponding with a woman on CC that was also listed on AFA's site. And I switched to AFA, which is not perfect but is also more reputable. As I understand it CC has an exclusivity clause in their contracts to women, but they aren't perfect. 

[Rvrwind]

Ahhhhh, and is this not the same CC that owns the 'other' board & insists on one towing the party line if you wish to post there. Mmmmm, that explains why I will never post there again. Agency owner or not, the truth is the truth & if you can't handle the truth well you can aways act like an osterich  stick your head up your a$$.
CC bought out Spencer for one reason & one reason only, to promote their own agenda & damage control!! Anybody who can't see that is as blind as a bat at high noon.
I agree this buisness needs some serious housecleaning starting with the big three, the three biggest ripoff agencies in the buisiness.
But as long as you, the clients, continue to use them, knowing full well the results beforehand, that ain't never gonna happen. It is left to the small honest agencies to fight for you & continually be critisized for our efforts. Seems somehow like a no win situation for us & a waste of time when I see guys that continually use these agencies, continually get scammed & continually whine about it when they knew ahead of time exactly what they were getting into. Normally, under some circumstances I can sympathize with a guy who gets caught up in this, but Rookie you been around these boards long enough to know exactly who you were dealing with & the probable outcome beforhand & now you want me & others to feel sorry for you, well sorry, I for one ain't falling for that. You got exactly what you deserved by using an agency you knew full well ahead of time was shady, but you chose to use them anyway, well you get what you pay for.
If your looking for sympathy you'll find it between sh!t & syphilis in the dictionary.
My opologies to others here, but I am just so sick & tired of this bullcrap. Rookie knew damn well who he was dealing with & their reputation & chose to go forward & this is the result  & now he wants us to feel sorry for him. I'm sorry but I can't go there. Myself, Kevin & a few others run honest & legitimate companies. We struggle constantly to stay afloat while guy's like Rookie continue to use the services of well known & documented shady companies.
I'm sorry but yes, it pisses me off, that all my hard work & effort to stay honest & open even with all the preasure & incentive to go the other direction is very tempting sometimes, I still get kicked in the teeth for it. You got what you deserved, live with it & learn from it. Maybe you'll be smarter next time. But then again, maybe not.

[SANDRO43]

(and please, don't call me Tex.  I'm merely a naturalized Texan, and the nick "Tex" really ought to be reserved for the "born and raised")

I see, ersatz-Tex . Just how many hidden racial issues do you have over there ? I lived in Austin for 2 months back in 1997, and nobody told me about that one .

[TexasBoar]

I see, ersatz-Tex . Just how many hidden racial issues do you have over there ? I lived in Austin for 2 months back in 1997, and nobody told me about that one .

ROTFL! That ain't racial, that's just the way things are . . . if your cat had kittens in the oven, it wouldn't make 'em biscuits, now would it? 

The rule is this: only a native Texan is a native Texan.  But one can become a naturalized Texan by a) living here for 10 years, b) getting baptized in the Brazos River, AND c) knowing what the Muster Oak is, how many died in the San Jacinto Massacre, what it said on the Goliad Battle Flag, why Shiner Bock is better than Buttwiper, where to get good 'cue, who Robert Earl Keen is, how to smoke a brisket, not to smoke dope with Willie (again), how to get to Luckenbach, when to celebrate Texas Independence Day, and, of course, ALL about the Alamo.

Pretty serious about boundaries, us Texicans. 

~Boar

[SANDRO43]

But one can become a naturalized Texan by a) living here for 10 years, b) getting baptized in the Brazos River, AND c) knowing what the Muster Oak is, how many died in the San Jacinto Massacre, what it said on the Goliad Battle Flag, why Shiner Bock is better than Buttwiper, where to get good 'cue, who Robert Earl Keen is, how to smoke a brisket, not to smoke dope with Willie (again), how to get to Luckenbach, when to celebrate Texas Independence Day, and, of course, ALL about the Alamo.

So my qualifications (2 months in Austin when GW was Governor and a visit to the Alamo) would allow me to request a .05% naturalisation, perhaps ?  I also visited Chester Nimitz's home town, saw a live rodeo and appreciated the May blue caps, but these items are not in your list .

[TexasBoar]

Caps? Blue caps??? 

Oh, you are SO not from 'round heah, bubba! 

~Boar

It's bluebonnets . . . and the state flower, dagnabbit. 

[SANDRO43]

Caps? Blue caps???  Oh, you are SO not from 'round heah, bubba!  It's bluebonnets . . . and the state flower, dagnabbit. 

Hell, just a little slip of the tongue and now I shall probably not even get a Texas visa, never mind naturalisation .  Must've seen too many shops selling HUB caps, and somehow that stuck. Unforgivable. 

[TexasBoar]

Buy a copy of The Alamo with Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett and watch it while drinking Shiner and all will be forgiven.  But it'll still be a 7 month wait for the visa. 

~Boar

[SANDRO43]

Buy a copy of The Alamo with Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett and watch it while drinking Shiner and all will be forgiven.

Is that the one with John Wayne starring, or a subsequent remake (gasp, blasphemy) ? 

  But it'll still be a 7 month wait for the visa. 

Think I'll opt for a K-1 or Green Card, then, may be quicker .

[ConnerVT]

There are very few real Vermonters in Vermont.  You need to be third generation for that distinction.

I, and most of the rest of us, am a Flatlander.   

[SANDRO43]

I, and most of the rest of us, am a Flatlander.   

Conner, should that be construed as a proud announcement, or an admission of shameful guilt ?

(Still awkwardly feeling my way among these subtle dividers in the US)

[TexasBoar]

Is that the one with John Wayne starring, or a subsequent remake (gasp, blasphemy)

The one with John Wayne has been declared a sacred relic of the Republic and may no longer be watched by non-Texans.

But the newest one with Billy Bob is darn good, and historically pretty accurate.

There are very few real Vermonters in Vermont.  You need to be third generation for that distinction.

A-yup.  (or is that one Maine?)

That's where the kittens in the oven analogy really comes from, but it's just too good not to borrow.  

~Boar

[SANDRO43]

The one with John Wayne has been declared a sacred relic of the Republic and may no longer be watched by non-Texans. ::)But the newest one with Billy Bob is darn good, and historically pretty accurate.

Then y'all have to organise a posse and unleash it on a number of Italian TV networks which are still rerunning it, the new one not having made it over here yet.

Of course, a formal declaration of war is quite optional, and a bit passée these days .

[TexasBoar]

Then y'all . . .

Heh . . . you know where to put the apostrophe in y'all! We may just have to give ya that .5% naturalized Texan visa after all! 

Now . . . trick question . . . what's the plural form of y'all?

~Boar