Is this a scammer?

[Trenchcoat]

I mean I know a lot of this may sound a bit weird to you RWO but when you change culture's it what you can get, you get used to it and the more you get exposed to it the more you get it. It's just a case of playing the game their way rather than the way we play it in the west. So be sure not to take your western values with you when you go fly over I've learnt that doing so just tends to mess things up, as many have explained the women just don't understand it.

I think one thing with this girl as Pat points out she is reasonably attractive, probably around the 8 out of 10 looks range. That while as Pat says not too uncommon for Ukraine tends to come with associated problems. A girl below average in looks say a 3 or 4 out of 10 probably won't be as much of a problem, you'll likely still need to act somewhat like most FSU men would as in being the man but they'll have fewer options and be more grateful that you chose them. Again I wouldn't dissuade you from seeing this woman for the experience but I wouldn't get too wrapped up in her.

[iloveukrayinkas]

In my experience early on, women with children will wait until their child is in bed or out of the house so she’s not interrupted during your chat..... Also she won’t want her child seeing her chat with multiple men in their presence, well the respectful, caring mothers at least. 

You might think “Well she could send me a picture in the taxi..... why can’t she video chat?”, like preparing for a video chat she probably took 10 pictures before taking the one she sent and she’s definitely not going to have a private video chat in public this early on and not in the back of a taxi.

She’s not mentioning your name in her short videos, because she’s probably chatting with 10 - 20 other men and sending them the same videos.... When she trusts you and she sees you as a potential partner, they will get more personal.

She can spend years talking to hundreds of keyboard Romeos and never have one visit her,  so of course she’ll try to lock you down to meet in two months time..... She’s working out if you’re just going to waste her valuable time and cull you if you aren’t serious.

You’ve made a fundamental mistake saying you want to be friends first..... It’s a lesson I learnt on my first day on the site when I was told “I’m here to find my 2 half, not to make friends” then I was ghosted.

You can address her 2 month requirement by stating you’re a serious man with serious intentions and once you’ve got to know each other better, you can decide together when the time is right to meet...... Don’t leave it too long though..... On this point, this isn’t a cheap exercise. The best I can make out from listening to others is you’ll need between 20-50k US by the time she is happily settled in your home, not counting weddings etc.... I know some men who have spent over 100k!!.....If you don’t have a good disposable income or savings you’re  willing to dip into, then I wouldn’t waste your time or hers.

Incredible analysis mr. Davo! I don't know if you are playing the devil's advocate here as we don't know many
details about this woman, but your take on this case is quite different from krimster's!

I am of the thinking that you can give the benefit of doubt to a woman sometimes, but obviously not when there
are red flags present. I think that video calls are not a requirement always. As you point out, she has already video
called with him so he has already verified there is a real woman behind the comm and not a catfish, which I believe
nowadays are the least of FSU scams.

If there is a "collaborator" or pimp as the OP points out then it would definitely have to be a sophisticated scam.
At this point, no money has been asked for so no worries yet. I like the power of phone calls, a little bit old fashioned
yes, but still powerful. Like it was back in my early dating days, you only had phone, no texting, no video calling.
We are living in the future and yes, all these technologies have become mainstream but like Davo points out perhaps
she doesn't feel Video call ready and prefers to post pone or use other means of comm like chatting.

Her setting a timeframe for you to actually go meet her is NOT necessarily a BAD thing like you may be thinking and
I agree with il Davo as well. Perhaps in this case you might want to discuss or "negotiate", so to speak, the timeframes
in which you will be available to actually go meet her. If 2 months is too soon for you, tell her: Hey listen, I agree with you
that it I don't want to communicate for months or years on end and not meet, but to be honest 2 months for me is too
fast and I have this _________ and that ______________ (specify your personal reasons or commitments) and so what
I can offer is 3-4 months time. " or "My max would be 6 months, so if you don't agree then I will accept this and move on,
but I do have important projects I'm carrying out at the moment and I just can't pause them now, bla bla bla"
The idea is to tell her you are really serious about this, and yes, you fucked up by telling her you wanted
"friendship"! Cut the bullshit, you are not fucking dating locally to have all that time available. Tell her, yes I'm
looking for my other half(my future wife or whatever) too so I will do my best to go and meet you in person as soon
as I can. "

I read you want to go there as a "vacation" for 1 week. Big mistake! If your plans are to meet women for dating or marriage
you should at least be there for 3 weeks, ideal would be 1 month. Like other guys say, don't just communicate with this
one lady, try to get another 2 or 3, remember you may still get flaked on or something may happen that will be a deal
breaker, either for you or for her. This is why you need more leads. This woman looks beautiful like you say, but it's bc
of this that she is corresponding or chatting with other men. Even if she says the contrary, don't fall for it, but don't tell
her and don't question it. Just demonstrate your best qualities and be happy that she is giving you a shot.
Don't fuck up!
Interesting thread that developed from your story though, I see Pat got on a roll with his analysis of the situation as well! haha

[RussianWomenOnly]

I chat with her almost everyday on Viber.  Sometimes just for 30 minutes, sometimes 2 hours.  It really depends.  This again shows me she's not a scammer because she's not devoting so much time telling me she wants to marry me and what not.  She chats when she's available and I'm okay with that since I am very busy working everyday as well.  Of course, yes I know in my heart she is chatting with other men but that's okay.  I message other women as well but at least right now, she's #1 on my list. 

I understand trying to meet more than 1 woman on an actual visit.  I will take that advice and work on it. 

[2tallbill]

This again shows me she's not a scammer because she's not devoting so much time telling me she wants to marry me and what not.  She chats when she's available and I'm okay with that since I am very busy working everyday as well.  Of course, yes I know in my heart she is chatting with other men but that's okay.  I message other women as well but at least right now, she's #1 on my list. 

I seriously doubt that she is a scammer.

I understand trying to meet more than 1 woman on an actual visit.  I will take that advice and work on it.

A strategy is the action plan that takes you where you want to go,
the tactics are the individual steps and actions that will get you there.

You are using meet ONE tactics with a meet many strategy. Chatting
every day with the same girl is a meet ONE tactic. She is going to expect
you to meet ONLY her. She will be hugely disappointed to learn you are
meeting others.

MY Advice is to continue with your meet one strategy BUT to have a back
up plan. If you meet this girl and you don't have chemistry, then you go
out and meet other girls using your backup plan.

Udachi!

Bill

[ML]

avoid telling to FSU women that you "I talked about how when I was in the military, I was away from my wife (Now ex-wife.  Separated for 4 years now) for over 6 months.  I said, I kneeled and prayed and cried every night during basic training." 
Women don't like wishy-lavy and weak men, they flee them. Especially FSU women.   
It's not romantical, it's pathetical, and that's an embarrassment for a woman.
 
If you continue to bring to them your western shit payload all real women will avoid you (this is why she told you "I am not a shrink")

Not quite the same concept, but . . .

When I was a 17-18 year old boy in US Navy, I associated with a lot of bar gals in Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, etc.  Big Surprise !!

Anyway, during my first visit in Japan the gals asked me what my 'line of shit' was.

I assumed they meant a 'story of my father being president of some large company, etc.'

Anyway, I told them that I didn't have a 'line of shit.'

Then, they started referring to me as 'the guy without a line of shit.'

[ML]

Get good masturbation before, to let down the stamina   . . .

My man Pat with the practical advice!!

On two occasions with two different FSU gals, I jerked off in the afternoon before our evening date because I was sure nothing was going to happen and I didn't want blue balls.

Both times, the gals wanted sex.

Luckily, I was able to perform.  But that was like 15 or more years ago.

[Patagonie]

Not quite the same concept, but . . .

When I was a 17-18 year old boy in US Navy, I associated with a lot of bar gals in Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, etc.  Big Surprise !!

Anyway, during my first visit in Japan the gals asked me what my 'line of shit' was.

I assumed they meant a 'story of my father being president of some large company, etc.'

Anyway, I told them that I didn't have a 'line of shit.'

Then, they started referring to me as 'the guy without a line of shit.'

Interesting. So you performed well and got an award.

[Patagonie]

My man Pat with the practical advice!!

On two occasions with two different FSU gals, I jerked off in the afternoon before our evening date because I was sure nothing was going to happen and I didn't want blue balls.

Both times, the gals wanted sex.

Luckily, I was able to perform.  But that was like 15 or more years ago.

the man who comes without any libido pressure is a rare species for a woman, an experience that she should be investigated. They feel  this type of thing.

[Patagonie]

I seriously doubt that she is a scammer.




A strategy is the action plan that takes you where you want to go,
the tactics are the individual steps and actions that will get you there.

You are using meet ONE tactics with a meet many strategy. Chatting
every day with the same girl is a meet ONE tactic. She is going to expect
you to meet ONLY her. She will be hugely disappointed to learn you are
meeting others.

MY Advice is to continue with your meet one strategy BUT to have a back
up plan. If you meet this girl and you don't have chemistry, then you go
out and meet other girls using your backup plan.

Udachi!

Bill

We had constantly different opinions here on this board about WOVO and WMVM, and I will not talk about this again.
However Bill is right on one thing, this girl now believes that you lead a WOVO. The last, VO, visit one, is the most important even if she could believe that you lead a WMVO (writing many) as she does.
So everything you do with other women should be hidden from this one and you gonna do this in a professional manner to not to be caught.
FSU women are quite good to extract the shit of you in this department, so you need to be good and capable to juggle between different communications, meetings, and so on. If you are not used to managing different women at the same time your chances are quite low to keep all the herd in the dating pool.
But you will be rewarded because it's very exciting and you multiply your chances tenfold by meeting several women.
 
Last thing: you damned need to know from which city and which part of Moldovia she comes from and learn some information about this country, politically, economically... If you are marrying a woman you are not just trimming a pussy... Knowing from which side is she is damned important, not obvious in Moldovia. 
The actual "political compatibility" in the war context is of prime importance nowadays. 

[rwd123]

I would recommend you consider bailing on this woman for three reasons -

1. Single mother. You may find that she's unable to leave the country because of her ex. You're signing up for more trouble than it's worth.

2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?

3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".

Not saying to put a big fat red line through her name (like for Ukraine) but familiarization with some cold hard truths are likely to be beneficial.

Krimster was put out to pasture during the days of Kuchma. Pat and Davo are actively dating. Pat's advice was stellar. Go back and read his posts, gold nuggets.

[Patagonie]

I would recommend you consider bailing on this woman for three reasons -

1. Single mother. You may find that she's unable to leave the country because of her ex. You're signing up for more trouble than it's worth.

2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?

3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".

Not saying to put a big fat red line through her name (like for Ukraine) but familiarization with some cold hard truths are likely to be beneficial.

Krimster was put out to pasture during the days of Kuchma. Pat and Davo are actively dating. Pat's advice was stellar. Go back and read his posts, gold nuggets.

RWD123 is making a very good point  , and you need to sort it out, the sooner the better. Are her children in a position to leave Moldovia easily, what is the position of the father about this?
 
Let me explain what happens because it's worth explaining.
 
The guy could think that her ex is with a rich guy and he can extract some benefits
the guy is jealous and just wants to screw up her new relationship
The guy has left her city and cannot be found.
The guy has left the city and has left the country, he is maybe in the CE, maybe in Ukraine, maybe in Russia, or in another country,   
good luck finding him and asking him to sign a document. Especially in wartime and in warzones. If he's dead good luck retrieving the death certificate... You can spend years to find him and at the last moment, he can show his finger also. 
Before circling around her pussy for months you should fix this problem asap. 
 
Because the chances that she can fly without authorization with her child are NONE 
And the chances that she lets her child in Moldovia are close to ZERO.

[Patagonie]

I would recommend you consider bailing on this woman for three reasons -

1. Single mother. You may find that she's unable to leave the country because of her ex. You're signing up for more trouble than it's worth.

2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?

3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".

Not saying to put a big fat red line through her name (like for Ukraine) but familiarization with some cold hard truths are likely to be beneficial.

Krimster was put out to pasture during the days of Kuchma. Pat and Davo are actively dating. Pat's advice was stellar. Go back and read his posts, gold nuggets.

The point 2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?
should absolutely be checked. RWD123 is absolutely right about this.
 

Let me explain:
One of my teachers of Russian is from Transnistria and was forbidden to reenter her area after a trip to Spain.
I told her that I was ready to welcome her if she was really in trouble because for Moldovian girls their money burn in CE faster than a plane in a crash at Tenerife airport.
Finally, she could come back but the travel was hell for more than 24 hours.
So you better know if you can enter Moldovia or not and where exactly.
 
As usual, many westerners are chasing a chick without any knowledge about the political, economical, or cultural aspects of the FSU.

[RussianWomenOnly]

Thank you for highlighting the points about the ex husband and child.  These are all good points that I was going to find out eventually.  I actually did speak her earlier today and at first she said she was going to talk about this topic but then I asked her direct is the kid's father still around.  She said she has no idea where the father is.  Her son is 8 and she said he left them since he was 2 so at least 6 years no contact.  I remembered she said she was "alone" since 2016 a few days ago so unless she's a really good liar, the timeline is correct.  This is good because if she told me the father is still around and he wants money so he can sign waiver or whatever then that's a huge red flag. 

Please keep the advice and wisdom coming. 

[krimster2]

Knowledge and experience are “as good as gold”
and you are “flat broke” rwd123

and without even a SINGLE NOTCH on your gun belt
but sure, go ahead and “talk” like you’re a big fearsome gun slinger
and wave your little toy derringer around

Postscript
I’ve seen this phenomena before with Asian men
they hit a certain age, and if they aren’t “getting any pooty-tang”
then they come up with the idea of “gettin married” as a method to obtain said pooty-tang…

when I was a little boy, my mother raised “budgies” in her aviary, which was in an old greenhouse

I learned that if a bird was kept alone, it developed “behavioral problems”
so the birds HAD to be paired

this is what RWO is facing, something like this
then throw in some of that anima and animus as described in Carl Jung's school of analytical psychology
and you can see how this all originated…

yes, I’m “OLD SKOOL”
but so freakin what?

At least I’ve LEARNED something from livin my life…
unlike my detractors…

RWO, why do want to settle for a woman with a child?
Just because of your experience HERE in the USA with how the women HERE rate you?

How do you know what your market value is OVER THERE? (HINT: It WILL BE MUCH HIGHER THAN HERE!)
Unless you go and find out

Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan

custom tailored Armani suit (don’t wear ANYTHING off the rack, everything must be fitted)
gold rimmed aviator glasses
a $300+ tip haircut
you're a CRAZY RICH ASIAN!

areas around universities will have the highest ratio of English speakers

spend two weeks there learning how to hustle the wimmin

when I was younger, I started with a 50% success rate on Khreshchatyk Ulitsa, and it went up from that once I was experienced and learned how to "read" the wimmin
this BEATS THE HELL out of modem dating, like a Mike Tyson vrs Steven Hawkings kinda beatdown!!!

are you a man EAGER to go and explore the world, or just a Couch Potatoe jiggling his modem?

[2tallbill]

I chat with her almost everyday on Viber. 

Your viber chats are video chats?

She is not from Transnistria?

[2tallbill]

We had constantly different opinions here on this board about WOVO and WMVM, and I will not talk about this again.
However Bill is right on one thing, this girl now believes that you lead a WOVO. The last, VO, visit one, is the most important even if she could believe that you lead a WMVO (writing many) as she does.
So everything you do with other women should be hidden from this one and you gonna do this in a professional manner to not to be caught.
FSU women are quite good to extract the shit of you in this department, so you need to be good and capable to juggle between different communications, meetings, and so on. If you are not used to managing different women at the same time your chances are quite low to keep all the herd in the dating pool.
But you will be rewarded because it's very exciting and you multiply your chances tenfold by meeting several women.
 

Moby is gone. You and I are more than capable of having an intelligent
conversation about visit many vs visit one. If somebody goes WOVO then I
highly recommend having a backup plan.

A clever FSUW will smell it out if you are visiting many. They can perform   
intense interrogations making the Gestapo seem shy and reticent by
comparison.   

Besides, if a beautiful a woman is sitting naked in your lap whispering sweet
words in your ear. Who will dump her on the floor just so they can meet
a different but fully clothed girl at a café for lunch and a conversation? 

If there is no mutual chemistry when they meet then in my experience, no
FSUW that I've come across is going to worry about you dating others.

Since he has already steamed down this path for so long, I would recommend
going WOVO for a day or two to see if this girl is the one, but if she's not then
he goes on to meet others. 

[2tallbill]

Thank you for highlighting the points about the ex husband and child.  These are all good points that I was going to find out eventually.  I actually did speak her earlier today and at first she said she was going to talk about this topic but then I asked her direct is the kid's father still around.   

I have advice about this AFTER you meet in person. This can definitely bite you in
the butt later. If you meet in person and have mutual chemistry remember to ask
me and the forum about this. Until you get the first meeting out of the way, there
is no reason for me to spend the time and cyber ink to tell you how to proceed.

[RussianWomenOnly]

Tallbill:  they are text message chat.  I only video chatted with her once. However, I just video chatted with her just now for an hour!  No red flags at all.  Just normal conversation.  She was smiling/laughing the whole time.  She introduced me to her son.  I really feel good about this girl.  But I feel I can go forward from this to get more detailed information about her and her family.  I definitely will ask about her ex-husband even though she said no contact whatsoever for the last 6 years.  However, I feel there is progress and I will ask again among other things. 

[ML]

As others have told you; the fact she has had no contact with ex will mean zilch when she tries to take child out of country.

He will be required to give permission.

I don't know the procedure; but claiming his location is not known will involve many many documents and documented attempts to find him before any waiver could be obtained.  Several years could pass during this process.

[2tallbill]

As others have told you; the fact she has had no contact with ex will mean zilch when she tries to take child out of country.

He will be required to give permission.

I don't know the procedure; but claiming his location is not known will involve many many documents and documented attempts to find him before any waiver could be obtained.  Several years could pass during this process.

I didn't want to get into it unless he meets her and they hit it off.

She needs to start a legal case against her ex claiming ZERO child support.
The long lost father case disappears once he arrives and says "Here I am
to save the day!"

[2tallbill]

Tallbill:  they are text message chat.  I only video chatted with her once. However, I just video chatted with her just now for an hour!  No red flags at all.  Just normal conversation.  She was smiling/laughing the whole time.  She introduced me to her son.  I really feel good about this girl.  But I feel I can go forward from this to get more detailed information about her and her family.  I definitely will ask about her ex-husband even though she said no contact whatsoever for the last 6 years.  However, I feel there is progress and I will ask again among other things.

Don't worry about her ex until you meet her in person and hit it off.
Start planning your trip to see her, that's the next step. You should
be always firmly guiding the relationship to the next step OR you
dump them. It should always be next step or next girl



Every newbie should write this on a 3x5 card and put it on their fridge
1. It should always be next step or next girl

[ML]

She needs to start a legal case against her ex claiming ZERO child support.

And I suspect that is not a short (in terms of time) process.

Might even require quite a costly process to show substantial effort toward attempts to find him.

Probably more than just running an ad in local newspaper of his last known address.

We know the total costs (I mean the real total, total, total including perhaps long term support of family left behind) of bringing even a young single gal to our home is substantial.

The above would be an add-on.

Might be worthwhile to think about going the gay route and finding a mate in your local city.

But I hear the Queens can be a real handful also, so not a given.

Maybe best would be castration to get over this silliness totally.

[Trenchcoat]

Tallbill:  they are text message chat.  I only video chatted with her once. However, I just video chatted with her just now for an hour!  No red flags at all.  Just normal conversation.  She was smiling/laughing the whole time.  She introduced me to her son.  I really feel good about this girl.  But I feel I can go forward from this to get more detailed information about her and her family.  I definitely will ask about her ex-husband even though she said no contact whatsoever for the last 6 years.  However, I feel there is progress and I will ask again among other things.

I would say you may well feel good about this girl, she is hot and giving you air time, being pleasant to you, but hot women can turn on the charm. End of the day she might only be doing it for her long term benefit. In my opinion it really takes time of actually being with each other in person before many a person may become invested in each other. I wouldn't read too deeply into any online connection.

As far as the son is concerned odds are she will most likely be committed to him and her concerns revolving around him. A life in the US brings much opportunity with it, a good education, careers, good income, etc. It really is a life away from the poverty ridden hole she is now in now suffering in the wake of the virus, economic downturn and bordering a country at war. YOU RWO are basically potentially a big find for her - she can get over to the US and get all of that. As soon as the two years are up she can drop you like hot coal, many guys before you have had similar happen. Sure some guys here have taken on a woman with a child and made it work but you are going for an 8 on the looks scale here. What about other guys hitting on her or her hitting on them? What if she wants to get back with her husband or him with her? What if she just ups and leaves after the two years?

Basically you will have paid a lot of outlay and this woman could easily take advantage of you. She has loyalty to her son in all of this more than you. I don't wish to depress you on this RWO but while I wouldn't know for sure what her real intent is she has way more to gain in all of this than you.

When I was starting out on this search I was talking to a hot single mum in Tashkent. She was going to great lengths of sending me long emails all about where she lived, it's history, her son, life, etc. After a bit she wanted to know if I had my own house - rented or owned, etc. Her concern obviously if her son would be well catered for. Her son you could tell was obviously the sun that lit up her day and basically her life. I decided to end it at that point, I could see that she was devoted to her son and I would be taking all the risk and burden without her probably having little interest beyond what she wanted for her son - once she had that she could wave me bye, bye leaving me in used in an economic mess.

So it dawned on me pretty quickly that I had better bail quickly and move on. It was hard, she was hot but the equation was all one sided and I had no wish to be used as a stepping stone and left in an economic mess or paying to support her child and her having no real ties to me and leaving at the drop of a hat. I know I said it's ok to check it out and gain the experience but I worry that you may be suckered in by her beauty and charm and get blinkered to the danger, think it over.

[Jumper1]

 This is very simple:

Do ,or do not.
There is no try.

Yoda was brilliant.

Find out if its even possible to meet her
If not,move on.
If so, and you are genuinely interested, , go meet her as soon as you can.
Period ,end of all mental gymnastics.


On who to visit, you spent time communicating and  wanted to meet her right?
So meet HER.

Leave the others for when this doesnt pan out,you crossed the bridge too far already with this one to do.wmvm.

If you make other plans,whatever.However be aware if she has any indication of such at this point, it will likely change the entire dynamic of your meeting,which is everything


As far as talking about other women,past or present, its simply a very bad idea in any early stage .

You arnt even in a relationship,but you do hope to be.
Do not bring up old emptional  crapola over another woman,ever
.
Repeat that 100 times.

It is not somethimg she cares about or wants to hear about.

It is exactly why she told you she isn't a shrink.
That is just normal directness.

[RussianWomenOnly]

Can someone tell me more as to what I need to do or find out about the ex-husband.  If I wanted to bring them both over, do I need his consent?