I met a lady from a FSU country, and I have a pretty elaborate idea. Opinions?

[Dolmetscher007]

Approx. ~2 months ago, I (44M, USA) met a lady (37F, Belarus) on an online dating site. After our first video call, it was pretty obvious that we "click".  It is the internet, so I am well aware that anything is possible, and maybe we don't "click" in-person. So... anyway... I'm trying to keep my expectations in check until I go meet her in-person.  She and I are going to meet in-person, the last week in October. She's from Minsk, so... since I cannot just fly into her country, we are going to meet in Tbilisi, Georgia. 

So... I feel good that we have the travel plans locked in, and now we can just continue to get to know each other via video and and audio calls, until we meet in October. HOWEVER... in my experience with how the internet works... I find that "just doing what feels right," can sometimes be a big mistake. What I mean is... I've already been talking with this lady for almost 3 months, and... I can already tell that I really really like her, and she really really likes me. We talk on the phone most days. And we say good morning and good night each day with messages. We are both definitely leaning into this thing with each other. And... I'd be lying if I tried to pretend that it doesn't feel good. I really like this girl.

SO... what am I writing this post for??? Here's the deal...

She is an engineer in Minsk, and on August 1st (just a few days away) she will make the final payment on her flat in Minsk. 10 years ago, she saved money for a down payment... and she's been paying her mortgage all these years, and in just a few days, she will submit her final mortgage payment. I can tell that she is very proud, as this is a big achievement for her. I wanted to do something special for her to acknowledge this milestone. I was thinking that it would be really cool to kind of make a small "scavenger hunt" for her in Minsk. She has one friend that she is very close with, and with whom she discusses everything. I was going to reach out to this friend (Katya) on Instagram and ask Katya if she would like to be in on it.
Then I was going to send her flowers, and have the card that comes with the flowers have  "clue" for where she needs to go find the next clue. I have some connections in Minsk that are happy to assist with everything. It won't be so incredibly elaborate... but the final clue would lead her to meet her friend Katya for dinner and drinks to celebrate her big milestone! And I was going to send Katya some money so that the evening could be on me.

My question is... in your opinion, is my idea WAY over the top? Considering we haven't met in-person, if I reach out to her friend Katya to "conspire" to plan a secret scavenger hunt... blah blah... will my gesture seem cute and clever... or... just plain fucking weird? I must admit, my real-life personality is absolutely "Go Big or Go Home" so... doing something like this for a lady in-person is right inside my comfort zone. But... since it's still just video calls and we haven't met in-person, I'm wondering if her friend Katya will just tell her... "Your Internet man contacted me on Instagram... and I think he's weird."

What do you guys think?

[BC]

What do you guys think?

I'd ask a woman and not the 'guys'  

[krimster2]

You have to understand that there’s a BIG DIFFERENCE between “belorussian” humor and USA humor.

And
Your idea is actually “attention seeking”

ya wanna chill on attention seekin when dealing with “Russians”
cuz a “serious Russian” would find it juvenile
all depends on the individual, some are SUPER serious, some aren’t
but until you find out more about her
it’s best to act...
non-chalant
and not chalant
don’t make a faux-paux

if your true intent was a nice thoughtful present, vrs attention seeking
then you’d get her the following:

1. dyson mini vacuum
2. dyson upright vacuum
3. 220v to 110V transformer if you can’t buy 220V dysons, do’t forget plug adapters

google “Meest” for how to ship from USA
also throw in some flowers and fruit basket

if she has a crappy phone, get her a new iphone and sent it w/ Meest as well

and be “casual” with her, and make plans for where to stay, what to do, etc in Belorus
October will be cool, but not cold
so it’s OK to be outside for a long period
without freezin your butt off like Dec/Jan/Feb

[ML]

I highly recommend AGAINST your plan.

[2tallbill]

She's from Minsk, so... since I cannot just fly into her country, we are
going to meet in Tbilisi, Georgia. 

I've already been talking with this lady for almost 3 months, and... I can
already tell that I really really like her, and she really really
likes me. We talk on the phone most days. And we say good morning and
good night each day with messages. We are both definitely leaning into this
thing with each other. And... I'd be lying if I tried to pretend that it doesn't
feel good. I really like this girl.

SO... what am I writing this post for??? Here's the deal...

What do you guys think?

Buy tickets to visit her in Minsk flying though Turkey. That will impress
the heck out of her. Take her out to celebrate yourself.

Udachi!

Bill

[Trenchcoat]

Approx. ~2 months ago, I (44M, USA) met a lady (37F, Belarus) on an online dating site. After our first video call, it was pretty obvious that we "click".  It is the internet, so I am well aware that anything is possible, and maybe we don't "click" in-person. So... anyway... I'm trying to keep my expectations in check until I go meet her in-person.  She and I are going to meet in-person, the last week in October. She's from Minsk, so... since I cannot just fly into her country, we are going to meet in Tbilisi, Georgia. 

So... I feel good that we have the travel plans locked in, and now we can just continue to get to know each other via video and and audio calls, until we meet in October. HOWEVER... in my experience with how the internet works... I find that "just doing what feels right," can sometimes be a big mistake. What I mean is... I've already been talking with this lady for almost 3 months, and... I can already tell that I really really like her, and she really really likes me. We talk on the phone most days. And we say good morning and good night each day with messages. We are both definitely leaning into this thing with each other. And... I'd be lying if I tried to pretend that it doesn't feel good. I really like this girl.

SO... what am I writing this post for??? Here's the deal...

She is an engineer in Minsk, and on August 1st (just a few days away) she will make the final payment on her flat in Minsk. 10 years ago, she saved money for a down payment... and she's been paying her mortgage all these years, and in just a few days, she will submit her final mortgage payment. I can tell that she is very proud, as this is a big achievement for her. I wanted to do something special for her to acknowledge this milestone. I was thinking that it would be really cool to kind of make a small "scavenger hunt" for her in Minsk. She has one friend that she is very close with, and with whom she discusses everything. I was going to reach out to this friend (Katya) on Instagram and ask Katya if she would like to be in on it.
Then I was going to send her flowers, and have the card that comes with the flowers have  "clue" for where she needs to go find the next clue. I have some connections in Minsk that are happy to assist with everything. It won't be so incredibly elaborate... but the final clue would lead her to meet her friend Katya for dinner and drinks to celebrate her big milestone! And I was going to send Katya some money so that the evening could be on me.

My question is... in your opinion, is my idea WAY over the top? Considering we haven't met in-person, if I reach out to her friend Katya to "conspire" to plan a secret scavenger hunt... blah blah... will my gesture seem cute and clever... or... just plain fucking weird? I must admit, my real-life personality is absolutely "Go Big or Go Home" so... doing something like this for a lady in-person is right inside my comfort zone. But... since it's still just video calls and we haven't met in-person, I'm wondering if her friend Katya will just tell her... "Your Internet man contacted me on Instagram... and I think he's weird."

What do you guys think?

Don't send money you risk screwing it up with her by doing that, even though she didn't ask she may start thinking, 'that was easy I wonder how much more he is good for'. What is it with yanks wanting to send money? You can send some to me if you like seeing as US guys are so eager to send their money onwards. It's kind of like you are trying to buy your way in and see it as the easy answer. Hold back and just go meet her, no silly games that may backfire and make you look foolish. Just go meet her and see if there is anything there and then. I've got on great with girls on video chat but on arrival at first sight on meeting, nothing there! Talk about a downer but it happens. Really though just keep it straight forward, arrange a meet up in whatever country or place you're in and go see her, no need for online carry on either she'll be into you or she won't, hooning around won't change that in my opinion.

[Boethius]

I wouldn't do anything that elaborate until you know her better, and know what her reaction to such an action would be.  Some women would love it.  Others will just be annoyed.


I suggest you just pay for the dinner, and tell her you want her to have a nice dinner with her friend to celebrate.

[Trenchcoat]

I recommend local reputable Florist that can send flowers & chocolates, pick out a nice bunch of flowers & chocolates from their online selection and voila! Job done!

Never tried these guys so don't know how good they are but their website is in English so may be worth a look:

http://instaflora.net/en-gb/minsk/?gclid=CjwKCAjwrZOXBhACEiwA0EoRD99QXdPfqLD6qCoe58HR6EukhQ-znvRnSkkMH3MtuMlbWfsR2KeDJRoCHpkQAvD_BwE

Seem to have plenty of selection and some great floral displays, also do chocolates as well.

Trenchie I say to myself I am a genius 

[Dolmetscher007]

You have to understand that there’s a BIG DIFFERENCE between “belorussian” humor and USA humor.

And

Your idea is actually “attention seeking”

Man... you are 100% dead on here!!! I did not think about it from this angle at all. I love to "make plans." I'm the kind of guy who loves to plan... "The Perfect Birthday Party" for someone. It doesn't even have to be a lady I'm romantically dating. I love to plan a good surprise party, even for one of my guy friends! BUT... either way... you are absolutely right about it being, "attention seeking."  I think I really love to showcase my exceptionalism. aka... a bunch of bullshit. Ha ha ha...

Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted people to think of me as "amazing." I did not just want to be "a good drummer;" I wanted to be an AMAZING drummer. I wanted my GF to be so amazed by me that she tells her girlfriends about this "amazing boyfriend" she has. And this whole idea I have been cooking up to surprise this girl in Belarus... is just one more instance of me trying to show yet another lady, how drop-dead amazing I am.

It's super difficult for me to see it that way, and to be honest, @krimster2, when I first read your response, I thought you were just being a D, and I ignored your remarks. But as I slept on it... when I woke up this morning, I literally must have been dreaming about it, because my first thought when I opened my eyes was... "That asshole... is 100% RIGHT!!!"  (Sorry about the *asshole comment. Obviously, I think you're a good dude!... now! :-) )

So... needless to say, I'm scrapping the whole idea. But your comments also make me feel think a lot. I really appreciate it man!

google “Meest” for how to ship from USA
also throw in some flowers and fruit basket

if she has a crappy phone, get her a new iphone and sent it w/ Meest as well

I looked up "Meest" and it looks great! However... they do not appear to deliver to Belarus. I think that Belarus is in the same category as the Russian Federation is as far as mailing things. I know that even before this "Special Military Operation"... War... started, when A. Lukashenko had that plane diverted to Minsk Airport so they could yank that young journalist off the plane and arrest him... the US made a ban on all US planes flying to Belarus, and Lukashenko immediately said, "Fine... well no US citizens will be given Visa Free entry into Belarus."
Biden: "Well... Fine!"
Lukashenko: "FINE!"

I cannot tell by looking at the USPS website, but it seems like I can send something to Belarus, just using the standard Flat-Rate International Shipping boxes.

BREAKING NEWS: I just checked the USPS website, and Nope! As of July 25, 2022 (few of days ago), Belarus and Russia both appear as International Service Disruptions due to COVID-19!!! Ha ha ha... Yeah, right. It's because of COVID. :-)

and be “casual” with her, and make plans for where to stay, what to do, etc in Belorus
October will be cool, but not cold

We are meeting in Georgia (the country, not the US State where I grew up.) But... I get what you're saying.

[Dolmetscher007]

I recommend local reputable Florist that can send flowers & chocolates, pick out a nice bunch of flowers & chocolates from their online selection and voila! Job done!

Never tried these guys so don't know how good they are but their website is in English so may be worth a look:

http://instaflora.net/en-gb/minsk/?gclid=CjwKCAjwrZOXBhACEiwA0EoRD99QXdPfqLD6qCoe58HR6EukhQ-znvRnSkkMH3MtuMlbWfsR2KeDJRoCHpkQAvD_BwE

Seem to have plenty of selection and some great floral displays, also do chocolates as well.

Trenchie I say to myself I am a genius 

How can you tell if they are "Local" to Minsk? I sent her flowers a couple months after I met her, and I used these guys.   Their service is amazing! But I think they may be pretty expensive. I feel like all the flower websites upcharge you if you order from the "English version" of their website. For example... the site I just linked to... the URL's domain name is clearly a '.ru' web address, but you can click on the Russian flag and change it to a British Union Jack, and the site changes to English. If you look at the prices, they change into USD, but... if you use an online currency calculator... it would all be much cheaper if you could pay using Rubles.  BUT... I know precisely nothing about international commerce. I will say that the war is not the cause of this, as I've used this website before the war ever started.

[Trenchcoat]

How can you tell if they are "Local" to Minsk? I sent her flowers a couple months after I met her, and I used these guys.   Their service is amazing! But I think they may be pretty expensive. I feel like all the flower websites upcharge you if you order from the "English version" of their website. For example... the site I just linked to... the URL's domain name is clearly a '.ru' web address, but you can click on the Russian flag and change it to a British Union Jack, and the site changes to English. If you look at the prices, they change into USD, but... if you use an online currency calculator... it would all be much cheaper if you could pay using Rubles.  BUT... I know precisely nothing about international commerce. I will say that the war is not the cause of this, as I've used this website before the war ever started.

Varies, they may be a middle man but as long as they get the job done or anyone else then that's the main thing. I've got no problem with saving a bit of money like you suggest but some guys on here quiver at the thought of doing what you do and using a Russian version website and pressing on the flag button or just copying text, translating it and then ordering off the back of that. There are some guys new to FSU dating that don't wish to push the boat out at all but want an easy path. Fortunate for them they are attempting this venture now and not a decade or so ago when it was all a lot more expeditionary.