Helpful suggestions for Olga's female friend looking for a man in USA

[olgac]

oh excellent points! I agree! Not sure actually why she rejected that guy! She is for sure still interested in sex! As most post menopausal women I know! Hell even my mom is interested in sex, we discuss it, and she is 75!'

I couldn't find the photo of the man for some reason, these are the photos I took, but he was very good looking man around 60

I think I have only seen the first movie You mentioned but I have assumed to be honest this is just a feel good unrealistic chick flick for older women

ML: by the way on my photo with many women in red the woman in front left has a PhD from Colombia in Plasma physics and she now works as a medical physicist. She is 50. Married a 60 year old man at 27, had kid with him, left, then re-married to a man her age and more financially secure and had 2 more kids with a new husband.

[ML]

She is for sure still interested in sex! As most post menopausal women I know! Hell even my mom is interested in sex, we discuss it, and she is 75!'

Not quite in the same vein, but reminds me of funny story.

A good friend of mine and his wife separated for several years, although they are back together now.

The guy had several affairs during the separation, and one of the gals his age 50s or so was the best sex partner he had ever had.  They had sex in back seat of car in restaurant parking lot, and one time she wanted to have sex in a large office building after closing time.  She bent over the water fountain !!
She had a daughter in late 20s with a steady boyfriend.  The daughter told the mother:  You and John have more sex than I do.
One time John and she had sex in her living room.  Then she left to go upstairs to bathroom.  He heard her come back down to kitchen and he went in naked and without his glasses.
As he walked in, he said:  Do you wanna fock?
The daughter then turned around and said:  Yes, but I better wait for my boyfriend and you better wait for my mother !!

[olgac]

 

[2tallbill]

cool thank You!
Yeah she just said she is tired of putting work into dating, very disappointed and disillusioned.
Now the obese manager from her work is starting to try to get with her again even though
few months ago she told him she isn't interested.

I did tell her he can go on ozempic he IS tall, 35 and makes a lot LOL
She said he is also stingy

Your girlfriend is going to end up alone, especially if She can't take on
a fixer upper project. She is pretty typical of AW, less than 1% of men
fit on her Venn Diagram. There is an app for that. I am not going to
look for it because I don't want Angel Eyes asking me what I am doing. 

Angel Eyes correctly says that I waste too much time here.

[olgac]

like AW? I think most FSU women who end up with green card here either after divorce or after getting a GC on their own are in fact much MORE picky than AW Many AW in their 30s are perfectly fine marrying a man their age with similar salary. In fact all guys she rejected immediately found an AW girlfriend who is as good looking

[2tallbill]

like AW?

I think that it's similar. Your girl wants a 1% type, AW do as well. Who decides 
to settle first? I don't know, 90% of the women won't get a 1% man. 

I think a lot of problems occur when a Western Man wants a quick fix and doesn't really know what he is walking into. If you know the ground you can play the scene like a tactically great dating footballer.

Trench you are always the quick fix guy. Think strategically not tactically. 
Find a good girl, win her heart, follow through. That's the winning strategy.

Forget about playing the scene. Find a good girl. Reject every girl who is not
a good girl. Then go after the good girl when you find her. When you say something
or promise something, follow through, the end, you win the game of life.

[krimster2]

in the future, guys in the 99% class will elevate virtual reality and AI Girl Friends above real girl friends and completely DROP OUT of the dating market
because what they desire has become unobtainable, just like owning their own house, or even leaving their parents house
in 5 more years, this technology will cross the "uncanny valley" and become Turbo-Porn that's more real than real
which means ya ain't gonna have to put up with none of this, "why didnja cleanup after yurself - I ain't yo mama"
NOPE!!!
yur gonna be free from all that
when ya go down that rabbit hole yur gonna be free from ALL of REALITY
can you say "PSYCHOSIS"?
because in truth, "stone walls do not a prison make"

AI Girlfriends?
that's ONLY the beginning of the world to come
there will be chickens taking self-driving cars to Washing Tundy Sea for the music festival stopping to buy bags of corn when they get off on an I-95 Exit
and NOBODY is gonna think it's in the least bit weird, cuz of all the other weird stuff goin on

like they ain't gonna be too surprised
when there's UFOs over New York and Helter Skelter in the summer swelter
and for some "unknown reason" the chickens all came to roost in an old fallout shelter

3
2
1

[olgac]

Meanwhile Lena has finally accepted that she might not meet a guy who can comfortably support her and let her not work, who is also tall, close to her age, etc. So she is now meeting men around her age who make about the same money
as she does, doesn't tell them all her problems and how tired she is from working, etc. And she has quite a few suitors actually.

I think normal self assured men just don't have this "saving damsel in distress" weirdness. They want a woman who is happy and positive. Plus many just don't make enough these days.

[krimster2]

as Mark Twain said, "I would NEVER WANT to be a member of any club that would accept ME as a member"
he woulda said the same about dating,
a similar dilemma

so when someone at "yur level" comes on to you
you respond, like a begger returning the quarter, and saying "sorry sir, but the minimum is $5"
we ALL know what the prices are, but are TOTALLY ignorant of what TRUE VALUE really is

great, you found a woman with a playboy centerfold hardbody
but what about her empathy, flexibility, tolerance?
is she caring and nurturing, or bossy and selfish?
you don't even KNOW cuz yur too busy staring at her tits, the way they bounce, etc
and aren't even THINKING AT ALL
cuz yur pal "Willy" is like yur conjoined siamese twin, and he's takin all the blood,
so yur brain, ain't got so much to work with, and frankly, some of ya'll didn't have "all that much" to work with in the first place

the path to freedom
always begins at the road of self-denial and self-control
to converge and not diverge to yur destination
this way, every step you take, in just living
will be a step closer to yur goal

the Zen Master NEVER does just "a job"
the Zen Master ONLY does what he loves, and becomes a master of that (whatever the hell it is) and makes his money this way
to an outsider watching a Zen Master Work, it looks like he's playing
because to a Zen Master there is NO difference between work and play

Trench, you are so far away from a Zen Master, you'd need a telescope to see one

Blimey! you one of them there dirty english peasants from Monty Python, who hasn't "got much shit smeared all over 'im"
and you wonderin why da birds ain't flocking to ya...really?
you don't understand this correlation and how it effects you?
if you did, you wouldn't be blaming society, etc
you'd see the fault lies within you
you are blind to your own faults
and cannot change what you cannot see about yurself

climb out of yur rut trench
and do something with yur life
while ya still got time

you learn in the first third of yur life
and you earn in the second third

so what didja learn in the first third of yur life that is a foundation you can use to EARN NOW?
WHY AREN'T YOU ALREADY DOING THAT whatever the hell it is?

[2tallbill]

Meanwhile Lena has finally accepted that she might not meet a guy who can comfortably support her and let her not work, who is also tall, close to her age, etc. So she is now meeting men around her age who make about the same money
as she does, doesn't tell them all her problems and how tired she is from working, etc. And she has quite a few suitors actually.

I think normal self assured men just don't have this "saving damsel in distress" weirdness. They want a woman who is happy and positive. Plus many just don't make enough these days.

Good for your GF, hopefully this will work for her. 

The problem with damsels in distress is that they are in distress. They don't
behave normally while in distress and when they are no longer in distress,
they return to normal and any actions or words said while in distress aren't
binding. So men need to stay away from damsels in distress.

You can only win a girls heart while she is in normal mode. After finding a
good girl winning her heart becomes the only thing that matters.

[Trenchcoat]

Meanwhile Lena has finally accepted that she might not meet a guy who can comfortably support her and let her not work, who is also tall, close to her age, etc. So she is now meeting men around her age who make about the same money
as she does, doesn't tell them all her problems and how tired she is from working, etc. And she has quite a few suitors actually.

I think normal self assured men just don't have this "saving damsel in distress" weirdness. They want a woman who is happy and positive. Plus many just don't make enough these days.

Definitely! It's a big plus for a woman to be happy and positive. It's what my Sister never used to understand. She always wanted the top men but she didn't understand that her being miserable & moaning was a big negative that would make them run a mile and put them well out of her league. In general while she can be ok she tends to moan more than the usual, there is normally something she is not happy about. In the past when she used to go abroad with her ex-husband she always used to find something to moan incessantly about and make the whole holiday a miserable time of it, the hotel room wasn't quite right and so she sent her husband to reception then reception couldn't change it, blah, blah, blah, etc. She didn't understand that the guy she us with doesn't want that bother unless things are atrociously bad. She also didn't understand that ruining the whole holiday that you are supposed to be enjoying with moaning does not add up to a nice time. There are women out there that don't get that if an effort is being made to go on a nice date somewhere, holiday, etc the last thing a guy wants to hear is all of his efforts being dissed. The work thing I agree on, we can all end up in bad work situations but it doesn't come across well if we moan too much about it.

I think the only issue your friend might face now Olga is not deciding on a man quick enough and settling down with him. If she wastes years going between different men then she could still lose out as the clock is now against her and ever year spent is another step closer to the age when men start to become not so interested in those older women, late thirties/early forties onwards I guess.

[olgac]

Oh yes I know the type! And btw Lena did tell me a story when she was younger, she had a foreign suitor who invited her for vacation on the ocean, and only now she realized how badly she behaved complaining all the time. For example she complained that they only had partial ocean view blocked by some rocks. I explained to her that the room with full unobstructed ocean view is sometimes twice as expensive. i hope she understands now that when a man does something for You, You don't start complaining that this isn't enough. As they say in Russian "You don't examine the teeth of a gifted horse".

If someone feels he is taken for granted, the desire to be generous completely evaporates. Not only in men, in everyone

As for being picky and selecting for too long, we will see. So far none of these man has offered to even be exclusive! It's all very new, there was a click 3 months ago when she finally lowered her requirements and stopped complaining to everyone she meets about her life. She became more positive.

[Trenchcoat]

Oh yes I know the type! And btw Lena did tell me a story when she was younger, she had a foreign suitor who invited her for vacation on the ocean, and only now she realized how badly she behaved complaining all the time. For example she complained that they only had partial ocean view blocked by some rocks. I explained to her that the room with full unobstructed ocean view is sometimes twice as expensive. i hope she understands now that when a man does something for You, You don't start complaining that this isn't enough. As they say in Russian "You don't examine the teeth of a gifted horse".

If someone feels he is taken for granted, the desire to be generous completely evaporates. Not only in men, in everyone

As for being picky and selecting for too long, we will see. So far none of these man has offered to even be exclusive! It's all very new, there was a click 3 months ago when she finally lowered her requirements and stopped complaining to everyone she meets about her life. She became more positive.

Yes she likely messed up a good relationship their if she wanted to be with him. There's nothing worse than making an effort and paying out for stuff only for the girl to whinge about stuff, it kind of feels a real kick in the teeth. It becomes more strange when the girl is from a poor background and doesn't appreciate something that she otherwise wouldn't be able to do.

I think that is the potential clanger here, I hear in the US there is a dating culture of seeing more than one person at the same time (not literally but not being exclusive) unless stating you're exclusive. It might not be the whole of the US but I've heard Nevada, California, etc it's a thing. In the UK it's not a thing at all and is seen as cheating. So it looks like Lena will have to be careful but also move fast and be direct when finding one she wants. The risk is that these guys may be having too much fun enjoying dating many girls and aren't interested in being exclusive at all. After all relatively speaking guys can have a bit more shelf life than women. I think your friend Lena needs to be careful in not dating the top guys in other ways, pretty boys, socially extrovert, gym bod guys, etc and make sure she is looking for guys she can actually settle down with who are really serious about doing so and not just playing her along wasting her time.

[olgac]

I actually noticed with FSU women it's the women from poor backgrounds that are most entitled and high maintenance.
Girls who had a stable, comfortable upbringing or who themselves have money do not focus so damn much on what
a guy can buy for them. It seems that if You live in poverty You develop almost an obsession with never being poor again.
Kind of like "I will never go hungry again" from Gone with the Wind, You remember?

Yes I have explained to her about the dating culture in US and told her to do the same thing: not to focus on one man until he explicitly tells You you are exclusive. I don't mean have sex with everyone, but don't stop going on dates/meeting people. In general there isn't much reason for a guy her age to get married if he doesn't want kids soon. He will only do it if it improves his life: either she makes a really good housewife (and my friend does not!) or she has a good job and together they can buy a house. Most likely scenario #2 because only a small %% of her age group can even afford a housewife. This was a hard concept for her to understand that most men don't need additional problems, they want someone who makes their life better, same as she does