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Poll

what should i do?

i am 27, he is 57.
2 (20%)
first meeting
8 (80%)

Total Members Voted: 10

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Author Topic: hello  (Read 11695 times)

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Offline vwrw

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hello
« on: September 21, 2006, 12:59:36 AM »
Hello! Of course, RW are nice. But I am not one who is married RW and even not one who seeks RW. Only because of I am RW  . For while, as a guest I was watching members’ posts to each other. I found many helpful things to know. Thanks. 6 weeks later I will have meeting with guy I really like. I need your advices. Please, answer what gal should do during first meeting and what she should not do if the gal is 27 years old and her guy is 57? I have nobody to ask. And I cannot see a better way to get good advices than asking the guys who is older 50 on this site. I understand, people differ from each other and one can like something what other guy will not like. However I very hope your advices will help me to make some universal ideas what I should/should not to do. My concern is about I have no experience of relationship with guys who are older that 35 years. I am afraid to make a mistake. I understand I should be myself during the meeting. But I want to find the best way of being myself for HIM. And I do not know how. Please, advise me. Thank everyone in advance.

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Offline jb

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Re: hello
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2006, 02:51:05 AM »
vwvr,

Of course you should meet with him if he goes to the trouble and expense to fly to your home town.  However, and this is a very big HOWEVER , you are still very young while he is on the cusp of late middle/old age.  If you have dreams of having children and building a life, you have to understand that with a man of 57 you will probably have children to raise by yourself as he is not, statistically speaking, going to live long enough to see those kids grown and educated.

Also I would remind you that it is not the age of people that makes a happy marriage, it is those things which a couple hold in common.  You will have to spend some time together to learn what, if anything, you have in common with this man.  Do not fool yourself into a marriage if you see a man who is simply kind and generous, any man will behave in this fashion during the first weeks of meeting.  You will need to know much more about him before making such a large decision. 

Good luck to you.
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: hello
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2006, 05:32:59 AM »
Welcome to RWD vwrw.   My suggestion is to just be yourself.  Do what is in your heart.  If the age difference bothers you when you meet, let him know.  There are many younger men who would be interested in you if you are not happy with him.   Many women are not bothered by the age difference.   They feel an older man is more stable and will be more faithful to them.  Others feel they will not be compatable with an older man.  It is what is in your heart and in your mind that is important. 

For the record, I am a little older than the man you are meeting and have met with girls your age and even was engaged to a girl last year who was 27 when I met her.  I really do not feel the age difference created a problem for us even though it did not work out for me.   Personally I think I am going to try to concentrate on less age difference since all I seem to get is my heart broken.  Many men though look for that age difference. It is such an indivdual thing that there is no answer.  I will say there is more risk with a larger age difference.

I am not sure that is really what you were asking.  It sounded more like you wanted to know what you should do with him when he is there.  I would say to just do what you would do with any man.  Don't be nervous, be yourself, tell him about your life and your thoughts and do some things that you find enjoyable.  What ever you end up doing I wish you the best and I hope you let us know what happens with your meeting.
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Offline Shadow

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Re: hello
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2006, 05:50:55 AM »
When you will find him a good man and start a relationship with him, both of you will face an uphill battle. There are a lot of prejudices that you will have to fight, and only when the two of you are strong enough in your love you will be able to survive this. But that should not stop you if you feelings for him are genuine, and his are as well.
What to do when you meet him ? It depends on what is going to happen the first meeting.
If you feel he is a person that you want to know very well, then show him your life. Meet your friends and let them form an opinion of him. If it goes really well show him to your parents.
If you meet him and things are not bright, treat him with some respect. Show him around your city, but also be honest with him.
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Offline prince_alfie

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Re: hello
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2006, 06:22:13 AM »
Best of luck. It's wonderful to see a RW on our board... more perspectives are good!
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Offline catzenmouse

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Re: hello
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2006, 07:45:47 AM »
vwrw,

 Welcome to RWD! As others have mentioned, be yourself, be honest with him if you are interested or not in continuing with a relationship, be aware that there are a lot of changes and challenges ahead if you do go forward with your relationship, and ask any questions that come to your thoughts. There are enough different experiences here that you will find the answer to almost any situation or question that you may have.

Ken
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Offline Louie

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Re: hello
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2006, 01:52:01 PM »
                  vwrw

       I think this relationship is a recipe for disaster, the age gap is just to big, if I wrote for advise on meeting a 19 yo, it would be a flame fest, IMHO a 20 year gap is pushing the envelope, but 30 is just a disaster, it almost 2 generations difference, your friends wont be able to relate with him and his friends wont be able to relate to you, you will probably find yourself lonely, not to mention what JB pointed out, about starting a family, I'm really not trying to hurt your feelings, rather rendering an opinion
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Offline Manny

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Re: hello
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2006, 02:59:39 PM »
Quote from: Louie on September 21, 2006, 01:52:01 PM
                  vwrw

       I think this relationship is a recipe for disaster, the age gap is just to big, if I wrote for advise on meeting a 19 yo, it would be a flame fest, IMHO a 20 year gap is pushing the envelope, but 30 is just a disaster, it almost 2 generations difference, your friends wont be able to relate with him and his friends wont be able to relate to you, you will probably find yourself lonely, not to mention what JB pointed out, about starting a family, I'm really not trying to hurt your feelings, rather rendering an opinion

I am in total agreement with the quoted above poster - find a younger man!
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Offline SANDRO43

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Re: hello
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2006, 05:01:14 PM »
Would not want to sound cruel or offensive, but that Poll is not exactly the epitome of clear thinking ;).
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Offline BillyB

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Re: hello
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2006, 10:34:30 AM »
Quote from: Turboguy on September 21, 2006, 05:32:59 AM

For the record, I am a little older than the man you are meeting


Are you sure about that TG? Because according to your trip report and her postings there in the last few days, you are the man she met. ;D
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Offline SANDRO43

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Re: hello
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2006, 10:40:54 AM »
BillyB, back then he was either having problems keeping all his women straight, or still playing his devious act and not realising she had already caught on to that ("her secret") ;D.
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Offline jb

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Re: hello
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2006, 03:02:25 PM »
Oh the webs we weave....

vwrw, you are 27 ???  I was thinking T/G was older than 57.  Thirty years is a leap.

If you get together with T/G, you may be setting the record for the most outside age gap we know of so far.

OMG~! I cannot think of any advice to give a girl in your shoes.

Think carefully, and look twice before you leap.
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Offline viking

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Re: hello
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2006, 04:56:15 PM »
JB

30+ This will be an unbroken record for quite some time.
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Offline AugustD

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Re: hello
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2006, 06:52:29 PM »
I think you already know the answer and need some validation.  If you are very concerned about the age difference then there is a REASON to be concerned.  Tell him now so he does not waste his trip to you with hopes and dreams that are not going to happen.
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Offline Gator

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Re: hello
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2006, 07:36:30 PM »
 
Quote
30+ This will be an unbroken record for quite some time

Not a record - my 3-year relationship was also 30+.  And at that differential, the exact number does not matter.  So call it a tie.
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: hello
« Reply #15 on: October 29, 2006, 09:13:28 PM »
Yep,  I guess he and I are the same age,  we probably have a lot in common as well.
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: hello
« Reply #16 on: October 29, 2006, 09:37:26 PM »
The record I have heard on the forums is Don on another one with a very happy three year old marrige with 40 years difference in age. I am sure that is far from the real record though.
The first I knew VWRW was who she was is as I said in the other thread, late the last night there. She caught me by surprise with that.
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: hello
« Reply #17 on: October 29, 2006, 10:07:37 PM »
As far as the comment about keeping my women straight I have to admit during my searching stage I often had to look someone up to see who I was writing. I never had that with VWRW. Right from the first letter I always knew who she was.I have shedded my other friends and as soon as I get home my profile is coming off the two sites it is on. She has asked me a few times why I looked for so much age differene and actually I wasn't. I was mostly writing gals in their 30's. Her profile stood out for me so I wrote. It really does not see to bother either of us I know everyone in a high risk situation thinks they are different. I think in this case it will work just fine.
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Offline billsetnor

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Re: hello
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2006, 03:10:19 PM »
VW,

   Privet, y dobro pazhalovats v RWD.

   As a 56-year-old American man, there is no way I would communicate with and visit a 27-year-old Slavic lady, unless it was to meet her mother as a possible wife, and her as a possible step-daughter.

   Good luck meeting the man who is coming to visit you.  But, personally, I would not approve of my 26-year-old daughter being interested in a 57-year-old man for marriage.


Bill Setnor
San Jose, California
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Offline IAmZon

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Re: hello
« Reply #19 on: November 02, 2006, 07:05:01 AM »
Age is one thing.  Appearance another; Health and fitness another; accomplishment and wealth another; personality and character another.  It seems that all too often the simple gauge "age" is taken to give some representation for an overall assessment of the individual.

Would a 27 year old woman rather be with an ugly looser who happens to be 30 years of age; or a handsome, stylish, accomplished, and caring 50 year old?  And times are changing stereotypes ... the rock stars performing at half time at the super bowl is not in their 20s - they are + 60! 

I believe a clear thinking older man can successfully pursue a much younger woman.  But it puts the pressure on the man to take exceptionally good care of himself physically, and to be very mentally flexible ... willing to try new things and accept different (younger) perspectives.

Turbo is fast becoming my hero.
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Offline BC

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Re: hello
« Reply #20 on: November 02, 2006, 07:19:32 AM »
Quote from: rivardco on November 02, 2006, 07:05:01 AM
Turbo is fast becoming my hero.

Yeah.. I always liked Superman myself, - but I sure ain't going to jump out of any skyscraper windows, crash thru walls or stand in front of trains.

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Offline Muj

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Re: hello
« Reply #21 on: November 05, 2006, 02:40:41 PM »
A little sarcasm BC.
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Offline Albert

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Re: hello
« Reply #22 on: November 10, 2006, 09:47:42 PM »
Quote from: Turboguy on October 29, 2006, 09:37:26 PM
The record I have heard on the forums is Don on another one with a very happy three year old marrige with 40 years difference in age. I am sure that is far from the real record though.

- - - -

Over on the Planet Love Asian forum, there is a guy who was 69 married to a 19 year old gal from Philippines.  It was a few years back that I read that.
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Offline catzenmouse

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Re: hello
« Reply #23 on: November 10, 2006, 11:41:07 PM »
vwrw,

 No matter what is said or thought here or out there in the "real world" if you and he are happy then nothing else really matters. People who are the same age get married and divorced. People who are 20 years apart in age get married and divorced. Some of each of these groups last a very long time. It is up to the couple involved. Not to anyone else.

Ken
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Offline acappelli

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Re: hello
« Reply #24 on: November 12, 2006, 09:49:25 PM »
Hi I am new in this forum sorry about this but i was trying to figure this out never been in a forum before I will be asking a lot of questions for one i have been scam already so I gave a lot of thoughts and i will start fresh again My name is Antonio Live and work in Wyoming and trying to find my soulmate I hope i can get some advice
thanks
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