Buyer Beware: Very few are Pure at Heart

[Darth Vader]

My wife went home three weeks ago to visit family.  It was her first trip without me, so I coached her through airport transfers and flew her Business Class to make the trip easier.

But one thing I did not think about was the biggest danger of all-- FSU women on the plane!  You ain't going to believe this!  Or, perhaps the experienced guys might.

While waiting on her return flight Saturday, she started talking to a woman from New York, an FSU doctor who had lived there 7 years and was on her second marriage, this time to her former divorce attorney!

Anyway, this "lady" started talking to my wife and asked things like how much money did I make and what kind of car I had given her and if she had furs...get the picture?

The lady then blatantly advised my wife to dump me and come to New York.  She could hook my wife up with a much richer man!  She also told her strategies to prepare for divorce, like saying I beat her!

My wife was appalled!  But my wife is pure and innocent.  Apparently many women who come to America from the FSU are not.

She kept it up, badgering my wife even as they boarded, telling her I was likely cheating on her and she could get a detective to follow me and take pictures! And even if I weren't cheating, they could do pictures that would raise suspicion.

And after the plane took off, she tried to come into Business Class from coach to tell her more.  But thank goodness, they would not let the lady into business class!  That 3 grand for the tickets was well worth it!

Yes, this is only one case.  But for all you guys thinking about marrying an FSU girl, be sure you pick the right one.

Or you may find yourself in trouble in a couple of years.

~Darth

[Gator]

Darth,

Interesting.

I wish your wife would have said to the woman, “If you are so clever, why are you riding in coach class?  And why did you waste two years of your life with a man you did not love?”

Sounds like your wife is a sweetheart and has no time for Brighton Beach gold diggers.

The Moral:  “Know your women.  It takes time for which there is no substitute.”

[Darth Vader]

You got that right, Gator.

Your moral of the tale is all so true-- you gotta have time invested in the relationship or you're just plain lucky if you succeed.  And maybe  you are anyway...

[BillyB]

Darth,


Sounds like your wife won't stoop to the level of trailor trash talk. Sounds like you got a keeper. Watch those ladies. Is the twinlke in her eye brighter when she's looking at a fur coat more than the twinkle in her eye when she's looking at you?

[Darth Vader]

Thanks, BillyB.  Yes, I think she is a great girl.  I'm one of the lucky ones.

But it brings to mind what a friend of mine shared with me last about his wife's flight to the US.

She told him that 4 other K-1 girls were on the same flight to JFK.  Two girls shared they did not "love" their husbands to be and were coming just for the change of address.  One said she did not know, but would take a wait and see attitude.  Only one said she was committed to the man and was in love.

Seeing those stats, I'd advise any guy bringing a girl in on a K-1 to proceed with caution...

[rose]

I have several Russian friends whom I met here over the years I lived here.
It's a weird situation, but what I've noticed, and it is not only my observation, somehow some women after coming here change, and not for the better. They start compare their husbands' incomes, cars, etc. Then, if one, for example has a BMW, the other starts say something negative about the car, or girl overall. In other words, girls start to compete against each other or openly envy.
As to me, I'd better will have 1 friend, but it'll be a true thing.
I met some other women who think the same way. From what I've understood, usually, girls come to such conclusion after about 4 years being here. Has anyone observed similar situations? Did someone's wife have the same experience? Just curious...

[ConnerVT]

Whenever this discussion comes up, I can't help but to think of Jet's Bucket of Crabs analogy...

[Darth Vader]

I have several Russian friends whom I met here over the years I lived here.
It's a weird situation, but what I've noticed, and it is not only my observation, somehow some women after coming here change, and not for the better. They start compare their husbands' incomes, cars, etc. Then, if one, for example has a BMW, the other starts say something negative about the car, or girl overall. In other words, girls start to compete against each other or openly envy.
As to me, I'd better will have 1 friend, but it'll be a true thing.
I met some other women who think the same way. From what I've understood, usually, girls come to such conclusion after about 4 years being here. Has anyone observed similar situations? Did someone's wife have the same experience? Just curious...

My wife is worried about this.  She sees some of her Russian friends here changing, becoming more materalistic, and she is afraid it will happen to her.  I told her not to worry because it's not her personality.  But I also told her "it's your choice."   Time will tell...

[Darth Vader]

Whenever this discussion comes up, I can't help but to think of Jet's Bucket of Crabs analogy...

Hey Conner.

I know Jet is a poster here.  But what is his analogy?  Do you have a link to it?  thanks!

Maybe it's like one bad apple spoils the lot?
darth

[ConnerVT]

Jim tells it much better than me.  I hope he won't mind me quoting him from another (public) source:

The Bucket O Crabs" analogy: Unlike Americans, people from the FSU find it incredibly difficult to be happy for another persons' good fortune. They instinctively try to drag another back down if it is perceived that the other person is doing better than those around them. This is an idea that many FSU ex-pats carry with them even after they've left their homeland. Where Americans are frequently guilty of "keeping up with the Jones's", Russians would frequently prefer to "put the Jones's back in their rightful place".

This fits your wife's experience on the airplane.  The woman she met, even though proclaiming she has a better plan, is envious of your wife and her happiness.  The best way to 'even' the playing field is to make your wife less sure of what she has.

Now I'm not saying ALL are like this (or do I believe Jet is either).  But it is a phenomenon that several people, as well as myself, have witnessed.

[Leslie]

There is also a more literal explanation of this saying:

There are pile of crabs in a bucket.  If one climbs to the rim and is about to escape then others pull it back in...

Success is not viewed in the same way as it is in the west.  Someone builds a successful business, they are derided as a gangster - of course they "stole" this money.  I think you get the picture 

[rose]

Darth,
Don't worry, if your wife is honest and genuine person, it will not happen to her. But still, she needs to be aware, because other people change. I always have problem with it, because I trust people, I expect that they are good. And then, reality shows that it is not a case. So, being naturally open I learned that with Russians in the US I need to keep my eyes open.
I have several stories about that. Here is one of them.
I met Larisa about 5 years ago, she came from Karaganda(Kazahstan). There she graduated medical school and wanted to become a doctor here. She couldn't speak English well. She married a Filipino guy who lived with his mom and sister. At that time she was 22. She found me when she needed to do some translation of her documents. Larisa was very unhappy here, she was lost. I saw this girl, who was a rack, and was sorry for her. I wanted to help her out. I helped her to apply to the college to study English, I gave her key from my house, because her house was very far and she didn't have a car. In a while we became friends, but there was a couple of things in which we differed in opinions. She used to dress very flashy. Very heavy makeup. She saw in men source of money. But overall, she was a good girl.
As I've mentioned before, she wanted to become a doctor here. And as you all know it's very difficult to do here. It took her 4 years to get ready for her 1st test. There were times when she'd loose all her strength, and would call all in tears, insecure for her future and abilities. One day she called me with a great idea: she'll become a hooker, earn money, and then will take her test. It took me several hours to convince her that it was the wrong way.
Anyways, the bottomline is when she passed her test, she started think that I'm not good enough to her. That's exactly how she said. Sometimes I think that she got rid of me because I was always strongly opposed her tendency to milk men, and deep in her heart she felt that it was wrong, but didn't want to think about it.
Anyway, I don't know where she is, if she passed her medical tests...
But it taught me to keep my eyes open when dealing with Russians here. In their attempt to get the better life some of them are ready to use others, go over others' heads, and where they can't rise above you, they'll try to put you down.
That's sad... sad situation, but better to be aware of it. 
Darth, I hope your wife will be lucky I will not meet such people.

[Bruno]

Anyway, I don't know where she is, if she passed her medical tests...

With success... a photo of her in her office, waiting the next customer... 200$ by hour



 

[rose]

Bruno, add more makeup, make her 5 feet tall, and it'll be her!!!

[Darth Vader]

Thanks to you Rose, for the heartfelt story and insights.

And to you Bruno, for the entertainment :-)

[Darth Vader]

Conner & Leslie~ 

I think you are correct.  I remember now the stories my wife told me as she was waiting for her visa.  All her girlfriends, and family too, tried to pull her back down with warnings and doom and gloom stories about America!  I had to cheer her up and convince her that our world was she and me and she had nothing to worry about.

My wife always saw through these pleas from GFs, saying they were just jealous.

[DKMM]

That is just a trait of insecure people.  I've met plenty of Americans who fit the same description, guys and girls.  Think about the bad things AW say when they find out about the amazing girls you met in the FSU...

[groovlstk]

I've experienced this first-hand, also. Things are changing, especially in the larger cities as solid middle and upper classes emerge, but beyond that a culture of envy is deeply ingrained. If you're down on your luck, having a problem, or grieving, you will not find a more sympathetic person on this planet than a Russian friend. However, fall onto a windfall of cash, find the love of your life, or in any way radiate joy about your life, and that same friend will treat you with contempt.

[GregfromGa]

Good story Darth. I can just imagine how all this played out. My wife absolutely hates talking to other UW/RW because they want to know too much of her business. I wish my wife had more friends but she really doesnt want them. I was lucky like yourself to marry one of the innocent ones. My wife will abosolutely not talk to a stranger. She thinks I'm crazy most of the time because I do. My wife only talks to her sister and mother in Ukraine or when I dial someone on the phone and hand it to her without her knowing.

[calcowboy1]

Good story Darth, very interesting.

I remember a number of months ago asking my wife is she wanted to join some sort of Russian community association, and her eyes bulged out of her head and said "NO".  I inquired why and she said she wants nothing to do with listening to gossip and negative emotions.  She told me enough about meeting a few Russian ladies in her class's at University here and she said most are very deceitful and give her "negative emotions" (for anyone who is married to a Russian women, know "negative emotions".

She is always a positive person and finds talking with strangers from Russia (not her close friends of course) to be very negative and a waste of time - in her words, "Time, down toilet" 

[Bruce]

Wow, you guys make me think that all FSU women / FSU people are so evil.  There are good and bad everywhere.  Darth, your wife just ran into a real "winner."  Sure the over all mentality in the FSU is pessimistic, but geeze..............

[Darth Vader]

I think you are correct, Bruce.  Most FSU girls are honest and wonderful.  I did misname this thread: I should have said "Some are not pure" instead of "Very Few are Pure..."

Yet, there are a few bad apples out there that take advantage of guys in the middle of a middle age crisis.

And yes, a few such girls will use men to elevate themselves to a higher level or status in life.

I think my story should be a wake-up call to guys in new relationships, to be careful and make sure they have a sincere girl.

[Rvrwind]

Not to burst your bubble Darth but there are a few old perverts out there that bloody well deserve to be taken to the cleaners!!
I deal with them all the time & won't even accept them as clients. When I read a guys profile & he is 78 & wants to date women in my agency under 30, its by by time. I won't even deal with that. I won't subject my ladies to that. To me he's just a sick puppy & concerned about one thing & one thing only, himself. He is givng no thought to the women at all. Guys like that get exactly what they deserve & I don't feel one bit sorry for them.
I'm just as choosey with the men who I accept as clients, as I am with the women & it ain't beyond me to get on my soapbox with guys that are fishing in the wrong pond. I ain't afraid to lose their $'s, my reputation among the women & men means more to me than a few bucks, unlike others in this biz.

[mike15]

Hey Richard

What does age have to do with this post...are you giving advice or is this a sales pitch???

[KenC]

Mike,
Quit being a little beeotch and sniping at Richard.  His post was relavant to the topic.  Your's is not.
KenC