What is fair treatment in bad matchups

[Albert]

There have been several threads that touch upon a common topic.  What happens when the western man and FSU woman are inappropriately matched?  Most frequently, the scenario is that an 'old, fat, balding man' is with a 'slender, young gal.'

RVR tells us that he does not allow such meetings.  But clearly such meetings do happen somewhere since people talk all the time about seeing such couples on the streets, etc.

The general comments are that the man is making a fool of himself.  But since there are two parties involved, why aren't we just as quick to state that the woman is making a fool of herself.

Yes, some women can state that they were misled through pics, etc., and it wasn't until the man arrived that they realized such.  But still, they do choose to walk down the street with them.

Other women meet such men at agencies, tours, etc., and agree to walk down the street with them.  So why do we always condemn the men?

Dan and others have commented on the ethics of business persons in the FSU.  Don't these same general ethics attitudes also exist in the minds of the FSU women re western men?

Here is an example of the mind set of FSU women that I am referring to.

"Can't you see he is just pathetic looser who was really trying to get laid in Russia and obviously couldn't. And remember what they say about that - if you can't get laid in Russia, you can't get laid anywhere. I was one of those "Russian brides" many many years ago, and went on a lot of dates with guys like that. A LOT!!! Trust me, they were all absolutely sure that all Russian girls will come running to them with their legs spread out as soon as they spot a foreign passport or a hint of an accent. Poor, clueless creatures... Still makes me cringe even thinking about their opportunist, "I'm-entitled-to-it-all-worship-me" attitude, their horny, dirty advances, their disgusting fat little fingers trying to sneak under your skirt. Yaaakkkkkk! Would make you puke, for sure!

But we had our way of dealing with those losers -- take them for a ride for a couple of days, let them take us out, buy us a few dinners and shopping and then ditch them in the dirt all hot and bothered. Hehehe, I know, rude as hell!!!!!! Of course I'm thinking we were awful then, but they all got what they asked for."

The attitude of this FSU woman matches very closely with the attitude of some of the western men who post on these boards.  i.e. that it is OK to take advantage of men who have overreached in their search.

My question remains:  Why do many condemn the men when an inappropriate match occurs, when it takes two to tango?  Why do the men 'get what they asked for' but the women are seen as 'being taken advantage of.'

[Rvrwind]

My question remains:  Why do many condemn the men when an inappropriate match occurs, when it takes two to tango?  Why do the men 'get what they asked for' but the women are seen as 'being taken advantage of.'

Your not serious are you????
Clearly the answer is obvious.
The men are the ones with the high ground advantage in this game. The women don't spend thousands of $'s & months of time running halfway around the world to find a man half or a quarter of their age, the men do.
The women are, at 90% of the agencies out there, nothing more than a commodity. They don't pay for the services they receive, they don't pay for the dinners & the flowers, they are merely there to be ogled & probed to get some old fossils rocks off. That is 90% of the agencies in this business & sad to say also 90% of the men in this endeavour!. They parade the womens photo's around like a piece of meat for your beckoned call, the more revealing & sexy the woman & her photos, the more $'s that come in. Just ask my competition.
As I was told by someone who worked with one of  my previous employers, 'one step above prostitution.'
The men are condemned because most of the time, not all the time, they are the ones with the high ground advantage & until that changes, neither will the attitudes of those involved.
Just for one second look at it from the woman's point of view - Let me relate one woman's story:
We'll say her name is Oxana, just for names sake. Oxana has been registered with agency 'A' for 4 years. She just had her 26th. birthday, she has never been married, has no kids, the biggest brown eyes & dark hair & a body to die for.
In the four years Oxana has been with agency 'A' she has received over a thousand letters from different men, we won't even count the repeaters. Of those 1000 men, perhaps 10 have actually come to meet our lovely Oxana, & she perhaps gets to meet about 20 more that have never written her specifically but came to meet others & for one reason or another it didn't work out so they decided to ask her out, because she was in the 'catalogue', "does Sears & Roebuck ring a bell here?" I forgot to mention 500 out of that 1000 confessed their undying love for our beautiful Oxana, without ever meeting her!!!
Oxana goes out with them but she starts to notice a trend. They are all over 40, & some a lot over 40, not all that attractive & most with dick-do's. (for those who don't know what a dick-do is, thats when your stomach hangs out farther than your dick do!!!) I know cause I have one, LOL.
Now our lovely Oxana when she decided to go on this quest was seriously looking for a life partner, a man maybe 10 years older at best, not hard to look at & minus the dick-do & still has most of his real hair. Now Oxana is aging fast, every year she is a year older & so far no one that she would even consider marrying if he lived next door to her & spoke the same language.
She talks with her friends who tell her get as much out of those you do meet as you can, she talks with the agency & they tell her to 'broaden her horizons', 'be more receptive to say a guy 20-25 years older & you may get lucky.'
Soon Oxana realizes that she has a choice she can waste the rest of her life dating overaged fat bald losers or she can take the best fat bald loser she can find & try her best to make the family she so desires.
Now I ask you, what do you think Oxana will do? Does jaded strike your fancy?? Picture yourself in her shoes, if you can.
From this little story you see what one woman has to go through, what you have to endure is nothing. Then to top it off she has the agency who no matter what happens sides with the man, because he paid, she didn't. Talk about giving someone an inferiority complex!!
Oxana's story is but a drop in the bucket to some that I have heard, but I can't type that fast & it would take days to relate them all.
So if you want me to feel sorry for the men, that ain't gonna happen. You come here with the right attitude, fish in the right pond & I'll bust my hump to find you the best woman I can. But you come over here with that o so typical attitude I have seen all too often 'that I am better than you & here to rescue you from your life of poverty' & your a fat balding 60 year old jerk & fishing in the wrong pond, I'm gonna be the first wall you run smack into bubba & you can bet your sweet butt I'm gonna tell you like it is!!!
Gee, I hate having to pull my punches, LOL.

[Marc Dayton]

To all please here what the great white hope has to say. He is the hope of all week RW to save these poor RW is his misshion in life.

The great white hope will do all that he can to find you the right RW all his words are just a sales pitch!

[Jet]

Marc,
You trashed the last thread under the guise of having something important to reveal (never did quite understand what that was  ???)

Now you are just slinging insults for the heII of it...
If you think it's helping your cause, it's not.

[Rvrwind]

 

[jb]

Dragging things further OT.  Ya know what I've noticed?  Rvr (Richard) makes an attempt to pass along useful information about Russia and Russian culture and to participate in the community here.  Since he actually lives there, and has for a while, I tend to believe him when he comments about something Russian.  He also very often pitches in on dabates with some rather clear thinking to help newbies understand their problems from a RW's point of view.  This, I believe, is valuable stuff.

Marc Dayton, however is a different kettle of fish, I did the post search on Marc from his profile and in glancing through about 10 pages, (there are 17 of them), I could not find a single post that was not either an attack on someone, or a direct, blatant, self serving promotion of his business.  I didn't see a single post where he attempted to answer a newbie's question or offer any advice other than to offer the services of LTP as a solution.

I am not defending Rvr, but in the court of public opinion, Marc Dayton is in danger of ordering his own execution.  We just have to ask ourselves a simple question; who would you rather have as a neighbor?  This last attack really reveals Marc's character, or rather, lack of it.

Marc Dayton, have you ever heard about the "law of holes"? 

[tim 360]

Above Rvr,  an agency owner posts a simple post which can give the new guy a little insight and....Marc, another agency owner in the same city has to stoop to sniping him.

This forum is not here for that trash Marc.  All you do is lose credibility posting that junk,  grow up!  Tim360z

[Marc Dayton]

O.K. your all 100% wright.

I am not slick in text can't keep up.

good luck to all.


My last post!!!

[Bruno]

I am not slick in text can't keep up.

Someone can translate the quote in English... i have some difficulty with American language !

[smartcat]

What happens when the western man and FSU woman are inappropriately matched?  Most frequently, the scenario is that an 'old, fat, balding man' is with a 'slender, young gal.'

Albert, first of all, let define WHAT you call "inappropriately matched"? All I see in here is based upon look and age.  If a guy is a bald and fat but of the same age with a woman - do they match? If a guy is twise older but is "slender and hairy" - do they match then?

Other women meet such men at agencies, tours, etc., and agree to walk down the street with them.  So why do we always condemn the men?

If there any criminal or shame in walking down the street with a fat man or an old man? At least if he is not walking with his pants off...

Who is the judge of them being match or not match if all we speak about is based on look and appearance?

If you want to talk about of being used or use, absence of feelings and attraction, about the change money to body, it does not deal to look or age.

[TexasBoar]

What happens when the western man and FSU woman are inappropriately matched?  Most frequently, the scenario is that an 'old, fat, balding man' is with a 'slender, young gal.'

I've said it before and I'll say it again: excessive interest in other men's physical attractiveness is more than slightly gay.  And by gay I do mean homosexual.  At best, it derives from the porn addict's skewed vision, where only pretty people with perfect bodies are allowed to have sex; at worst, it's a subterfuge for whines of "what's he got that I don't got?"

Well, her, for starters. 

And, just possibly, better game.  More money, more charm, better sense of humor, better conversationalist, better in bed . . . who knows? Who cares? What makes it anyone else's business?

~Boar

[Rvrwind]

Really what two people look like is in all fairness, irrelavent.
When I look at two people who are together as a couple I don't judge them on how they look together. This is not a big factor. I have seen good looking guys (And no boar I am certainly not gay) with women I wouldn't take to a dog show if they were defending champion. I have also seen extremely good looking women with short fat bald guys that couldn't get a date back home if they had $100.00 bills hanging from every orifice.
When I look at two people, I look at how they interact with each other, how they relate. When you've got a 60 year old college proffessor einstien lookin' dude with a vocabulary full of words I can't even pronounce & he's with a 23 year old ex high school beauty queen that still giggles like a school girl & has maybe a high school education & works as a waitress, I don't know about you but I don't see that relationship going very far.
People need a certain amount of common exsperience to make a relationship work, as well as common goals. Without it, they have nothing in common & nothing to share, which in my mind is needed in every relationship.
There are a lot of educated & inteligent women here & that is a fact. But most of them are over 30 & some single or divorced with a munchkin. Not exactly the group that most of the guys that come here are looking at, much to the dismay of the ladies.

[Gator]

Texas Boar wrote,

excessive interest in other men's physical attractiveness is more than slightly gay.

I am confused as to why you say this is gay.  No poster has made excessive comments about appearance other than exaggerating the hyped stereotype to make a point.

Most women, particularly pretty women, study other pretty women.  Are they lesbians or just being women?  Well some of them are in that bewildering fad of being bi-curious. 

Couples with stark differences in appearance are not normal in a statistical sense.  They occur and it is none of my business.  However, when the difference is one or two standard deviations from the mean, it will draw interest.  The observers’ reactions will vary: amusement, open hostility, jealousy, bewilderment,...  Whatever, all but the oblivious will notice it.  As you say this not anyone else’s business, and to comment is inappropriate and small-minded, but not homosexual.  And not a porn addict either.