What Would You Choose for a Wife?

[Gator]

Be honest.  Results are anonymous.

Sex is not a variable - all choices "like sex whenever  and whereever you want it".

[BillyB]

Character, personality, body, and face are my choices. I like high intellegence but it's not a requirement as long as she's not a total airhead.

[TexasBoar]

I'm one of the "Other" clickers . . . even though some would consider "terrific sense of humor" and/or "artistic soul" part of "great personality" I feel they both deserve separate mention, and are important to me.

~Boar

[TexasBoar]

Character, personality, body, and face are my choices. I like high intellegence but it's not a requirement as long as she's not a total airhead.

I picked personality and body, but not character or face.  With character, as long as she's basically loyal, and not dishonest or spiteful, I'm good.  Definitely not in the market for a saint. And I'm more drawn to 'girl next door' looks, a la Meg Ryan or Alyssa Milano, than classic beauty.

Intelligence is a must for me.  I've had too many a girlfriends who definitely weren't airheads who still couldn't even begin to discuss the kinds of things that interest me.

~Boar

[Michelangelo]

I'm glad to see that character is # 1.  Looks like the majority of men here DO have their heads screwed on straight...

[Gator]

Boar,

SOH is a "must have" to me as well, and I consider that part and parcel of personality.  People without SOH rarely have a warm, efflorescent, and understanding personality.  But some people with SOH lack empathy.

Is "basically loyal, and not dishonest or spiteful" average, as in "normal"?  

In an online survey of 1,427 men and women aged between 25 and 35 by the Hamburg-based GEWIS institute for social research for "Woman" magazine, 53 percent of women said they had been unfaithful to their partner, compared with 59 percent of men.

BTW,  WTF is "artistic soul."  Sounds like "wild and adventurous" - fun for a weekend to me or a companion for a travel holiday.

[TexasBoar]

WTF is "artistic soul."  Sounds like "wild and adventurous"

No, no.  Artistic soul as in "grasp of aesthetic distinctions," or better yet, some sort of talent in art, music, design, or literature. 

My ex, while on a gallery walk with me, actually looked at an abstract painting and said, out loud (and a bit loudly) "my 5 y.o. nephew could've painted THAT." 

By the time we divorced, she at least knew good wine from dreck, and artisanship from kitsch. But some things just have to be there to begin with.

I'm not going to comment on the validity of an "online survey," although I think Kinsey found much the same result more scientifically.   

~Boar

[SANDRO43]

Gator, I'm mistified by the "Great Personality/Great Character" distinction, they seem practically synonimous to me. Care to expand on that ? (I have to sacrifice one of them because of the 4-answer max )

[jb]

Since I'm already married, I'm stuck with what I've got.  And it's a handful on it's best days.

I think rather than asking for some of these qualities, one should first decide if he has the ability to adapt and conform to her needs.  For example, in Boar's dream girl she has to be interested in his interests, that's gonna be tough because his interests are likely to be so totally foreign to the average RW as to not even be on the table.  Unless he's talking about classical literature, classical music, ballet, and other common arts found in the FSU.

In my wife I have found a combination of a sweet nature, high intelligence, an innate sense of humor, generosity, competence in most things not mechanical, loyalty, honesty and a high degree of stubbornness.  She also has a willingness to try new things, within reason, without negative comments, i.e., I wouldn't ask her to go sky diving on a whim, but when I wanted to buy a new fishing boat she was all for it.  But most of all, she is accepting of all my own flaws and is very forgiving when I screw something up. 

I think after some men actually get to know a Russian woman beyond the fantasy, they are going to find getting along with her is going to be a two way street.  With a lot of the traffic running her way, not his.

[Michelangelo]

I got the same qualities in my wife, too, JB.  But with the inclusion of things mechanical. 

But alas, did get the stubborn streak, which seems to be innate in FSU women 

She does sky dive.  But hates fishing.

I'll add one deficiency....she has a total lack of sense of direction.  Last week she was bringing a friend to out flat and got lost for an hour!  She did finally make it 

[Gator]

Sandro,

Describing physical traits is easy.  There are not many variables.  Describing a person's non-physical traits is difficult, especailly for a woman because the variables and possibilities are limitless and changing. That is why we do not understand women - they are very complicated.  

I will attempt a simple definition:

A woman with a great personality gives you interesting conversation and laughter throughout every day (provided the man is not an idiot).

A woman with great character gives you support, trust, respect, fidelity and understanding for your life.  

Now where do I put "accomodating" and "comforting"?  probably personality.

[SANDRO43]

I'll add one deficiency....she has a total lack of sense of direction. 

Interesting, I often noted this in Italian women, too, and I wonder if it may be a generally feminine trait.

For instance, when asking a new friend where she lives, I get her address AND a complicated set of point-to-point directions ("Take this street, then turn left where you see a Dry Cleaner on the corner, next you'll see a gas station, turn right after the supermarket. etc. etc.), while I just need the address and can work out the course on a city map, if necessary.

[TexasBoar]

For example, in Boar's dream girl she has to be interested in his interests, that's gonna be tough because his interests are likely to be so totally foreign to the average RW as to not even be on the table.  Unless he's talking about classical literature, classical music, ballet, and other common arts found in the FSU.

Well, that's a good start, actually, and one of the things attracting me to the possibility of pursuing this.  You've been married awhile, so I don't know if you realize how utterly rare it is, outside of RW-oriented sites, to find women who actually list museums and galleries as being among their interests and hobbies.

I know I look (and sometimes act) a bit "81," and Gator actually called me unsophisticated here once, or at least implied that I was, but I come from a very artistically and musically talented family, am a modestly published writer myself, and have had a lifelong interest in art, art history, architecture, and design.  

The right woman for me doesn't have to come "pre-equipped" with any of that, but she should be able to understand and appreciate those sorts of things, at least. Few things are more disappointing to me that being invited into a woman's home only to discover she has hopelessly bad taste, and no clue.
~Boar

[TexasBoar]

Slightly OT digression . . .

For instance, when asking a new friend where she lives, I get her address AND a complicated set of point-to-point directions ("Take this street, then turn left where you see a Dry Cleaner on the corner, next you'll see a gas station, turn right after the supermarket. etc. etc.), while I just need the address and can work out the course on a city map, if necessary.

There have been studies on this, and it's true.  Men navigate by direction and street names, women by landmarks.  As an educator, I work with a lot of women, and they actually get annoyed when I don't want to stand there and hear about every donut shop, taco stand, and shrubbery I'll be encountering on my way to where they're telling me to go! 

We now return your thread to you unharmed. 

~Boar

[SANDRO43]

Rats, I had to sacrifice Hot Body . Another valuable general asset would be Culture, as T/B pointed out (musical appreciation being most important in my case).

[SANDRO43]

There have been studies on this, and it's true. 

Female rats in mazes ?

[Gator]

Gator actually called me unsophisticated here once, or at least implied that I was

If I did, I was wrong.  Please accept my apology.  A fairly common trait among posters is  to make judgments without much information.

Thanks for explaining "artistic soul".  Right-brain people.  They are interesting and fun, and their spirit carries throughout life, not just art.  Their creativity makes them half of my “wild and adventurous” definition.  My current girlfriend is left handed, an ex-model with breasts, and a dabbler in art.  She is more intuitive/emotional than me, and I like that in combination with my mostly analytical left-brain style (provided we can continue to communicate).

[Gator]

On the OT comment about women and directions (and related to men not wanting to stop for directions).

When we lived in tribes and men and women were being hard-wired as part of evolution, men were "hunters" and women were "gatherers".

Think about it.  Women went to the same bushes every day to collect fruit or roots, and men chased mobile prey not knowing where the prey would lead them.

[SANDRO43]

Thanks for explaining "artistic soul".  Right-brain people. They are interesting and fun, and their spirit carries throughout life, not just art.

Quite so. I once did a little statistical study on 169 widely-known composers of classical music, born from the 1600s to the 1900s : their average age turned out to be an astonishing 66.5, invariant through the 4 centuries except for a slight dip of 2 years in the 1800s. Creativity for longevity !

BTW, good point about women favouring bushes and shrubs .

[TexasBoar]

Quote
Gator actually called me unsophisticated here once, or at least implied that I was

If I did, I was wrong.  Please accept my apology.  A fairly common trait among posters is  to make judgments without much information.

Not a problem, and of course.  I believe what you actually said was that I didn't strike you as a "big city type" and in that respect, you were completely accurate; I'm not.

But I'm no bumpkin, either.  

~Boar

[jb]

The only woman I ever knew with a sense of direction was my ex.  She could give explicit directions so I could go straight to hell.

[KenC]

Gator,
Interesting poll.  (And no I didn't pick "youth" )

Surprisingly, Lena is better at finding her way than I am.  I guess I would have to gather the fruit and berries in a different lifetime!

Your description:

My current girlfriend is left handed, an ex-model with breasts

is a total hoot!  I think a mix of left/right brain couples keep it interesting!

One other observation I would like to add is in regard to "hot" body.  I think most of us would consider a "hot" body as one close to perfection, but it is my experience that this is not necessarily correct in a practical sense.  I have been with women with less than perfect bodies that just knew how to use their assets well and others much closer to perfection that didn't have a clue.  In my mind a "hot" body is less about the physical dimensions and more about what they did with what they had.
KenC

[TexasBoar]

In my mind a "hot" body is less about the physical dimensions and more about what they did with what they had.

Yep.  My favorite physical descriptor for female hotness is "lissome."

It refers to a dancer's flexibility, nimbleness and grace. 

~Boar

[Bruno]

The more important option for me to choose a wife is not in the poll...

I wish a potential good mother for our future children...

[SANDRO43]

It refers to a dancer's flexibility, nimbleness and grace

"Classical" dancers are very graceful but can be quite cold (too much on their minds ?). They do have a very well-developed pubo-coccigeal muscle, though .