What Would You Choose for a Wife?

[Daknack]

Ok, Ill give my answers, and explain why I gave the answers I did.

First my designation between charactor and personality.  Charactor - ethics and morals.  Personality is just who they are.

First I chose Hot Body.  Sorry Im a man, I have a Pee-pee and Im being honest.  If a woman cant get me excited, then honestly she doesnt bring much to the table for me.  I have alot of best friends I can tell anything too, but I have no interest in sex with them.

Then I chose beautiful face for the same reason above, plus there is an aestetic (I know I spelled it wrong) reason for just enjoying a womans face.

Then I chose youth, because I am young enough to consider it an important thing to a realtionship with me.

Then I chose personality.  I want to enjoy being around them. Sense of humor included in this.

OK.... I did NOT choose charactor, because honestly I have a pretty low opinion of womens ethics.  overall they tend to be far more flexible and illogical in terms of ethics which should not be flexable but fairly ridgid.  Some things are right... somethings are wrong.  Women tend to bolt at the first sign of trouble.  I also know Im gonna catch hell for posting this.  But I see what I see, and Ive seen alot in the last few months.

I gotta admit I was very very tempted to exchange youth for high intelligence.  I waffle between the two.

[BillyB]

DaKnack,

I always thought you were attracted to women who knew how to cook good food?

[Bruce]

Great face, hot body, character make the first three easy then its between intelligence or youth.  I chose youth.  Fifth would be intelligence.  I guess I am an animal but fire away.

[Albert]

I chose hot body, but what I really want is a slender woman, but no emaciated model types.   She doesn't have to have big boobs, in fact I don't like much over a B plus in size.  The bigger ones look nice in the sweater, but are quite gross when they fall to the waist when in the raw.  A nice small, tight a$$ and long slender (particularly in the upper thighs) legs really send me.

I chose intelligence and personality as 2 and 3.

My 4th choice for 'other' would be a good sense of humor.

I try to avoid beautiful faces because I have never met such who was not really hung up on herself.  And particularly with FSU women, more so than AW, they tend to think they are more beautiful than they actually are anyway.  I think this is because of the agency hype that they have bought into totally from their side, as well as from the slobbering from the guys on these boards.

[Daknack]

DaKnack,

I always thought you were attracted to women who knew how to cook good food?

Of course but Im also an excellent cook so I can live without it

[av8or1]

OK.... I did NOT choose charactor, because honestly I have a pretty low opinion of womens ethics.  overall they tend to be far more flexible and illogical in terms of ethics which should not be flexable but fairly ridgid.  Some things are right... somethings are wrong.  Women tend to bolt at the first sign of trouble.  I also know Im gonna catch hell for posting this.  But I see what I see, and Ive seen alot in the last few months.

Daknack,

Well I actually agree with you on the general lack of ethics in women these days.  'Part of the reason I've headed across the pond as much as I have.

But to return your honesty, I posted only because curiosity is getting the better of me: what have you seen in the last few months??

Best,

Jerry

[Kuna]

Hmmm...  interesting question but it could lead to a novel if I wanted to explain my exact reasons...

Ultimately I chose Hot Body, Beautiful Face, Character and Personality...

It gets complicated though if we were to all start debating what a beautiful face is (for me it's "Mischievous and playful expressions"), or indeed what a hot body is (beautiful curves without being grossly overweight)...

Character and personality are easy after reading Gators descriptions but I struggled not to include intelligence.  I usually need someone to challenge me mentally but a girl with great character (Good conversation, sense of humour, etc) would ultimately be better for me than "book smart".

Youth?  No thanks...  I tired of dating girls of a so called "appropriate" age for me (because of the dysfunctions), so started dating "youth" and quickly discovered they weren't as emotionally scared, but they lacked the life experience that makes sharing time together interesting.

I've started corresponding with a few girls from UKR and some appear to be very interesting.  Who really knows what someone will be like though until you meet them. 

The indefinable attribute that I assume we're all looking for is "essence".  I'll let you know when I've found it.   

[Turboguy]

It seems like a fair number of guys have gone with a beautiful face and a hot body as their top choices.  I think those are the things that often draw us to someone in our selection process but to me they have little to do with marital happiness.  To me, if someone has those it is just a nice bonus.

I have two things that to me are not negotiable.  One is that I don't want someone who drinks a lot and I doubt if I would ever be interested in gal who was overweight.  If I married someone and she became fat I will hang in there and accept it but for the initial choice no.

I picked character as my selection.  It is really not quite what would be my top choice though.  At least not character in it's traditional sense although it is one of the most important.   I think connection would be a word that I would use to describe what my most important thing would be.   I would want someone I felt connected to, someone I enjoyed being with, someone I enjoyed doing things with.  Someone who I could share my life with and someone who felt the same about me.

I think we are all influenced a lot by the things we have experienced.   I think if someone had a wife who cheated on them then the thing that is most important to them in the next would be fidelity.  If they had someone who was not into sex, then their top priority might be someone who really enjoyed sex.   Perhaps that is why a beautiful face and a hot body are important to so many.  It is hard to find in an American woman.

In my case I spent 18 years married to a gal who really couldn't care if I was alive or dead until she lost me.   Our sex was great, I had no problem with fidelity.  I just would not want another marriage where I was the person who mowed the grass and brought home the paycheck. 

I like intelligence and even when I used to date AW I seemed to attract very intelligent women.  Yes, I dated a few that were dumber than a brick but they were the exception.  I think intelligence makes for much better conversation.

I think another essential thing is common goals and common lifestyle.   I think you have to want the same things in life and when I say common lifestyle, life is different in the FSU and in the USA we all know that.  I think a gal who is a concert pianist is not going to be happy with a guy who is into Harley's and all night poker games.   I can remember meeting a gal a long time ago in Russia who told me the only thing she liked to do was to sit on the couch watching TV, smoke cigarettes and drink beer.  She and I would never have worked out.   That is my two cents worth.

[Michelangelo]

Many guys who start the quest for a foreign bride from the FSU are influenced by the beauty of the girls they see on agency web pages.

FSU girls are pretty; however, in reality, you can see the same things in states like Florida, Texas and California in the US.  True, the agency pictures are slick and show girls at their touched-up best 

However, ordinary girls on the streets are beautiful.  Perhaps cuz of Jeans (and genes) and short skirts and the fact the girls are in shape and walk so much.  Hard for a fat girl to look so hot.

Having said that, the purpose of my post is this:

Girls in the FSU do have strong character when it comes to family.  They truly care about their parents and will take care of them.  This is a good trait.

So while guys may be attracted to beauty, the real beauty of the girls is their love of family.

[Stirlitz]

Sex is not a variable - all choices "like sex whenever  and whereever you want it".

I disagree. It is easy to find a woman who has one of the quaities in the poll, or even several, but it is very hard to find a truly SEXY woman. At least, in my experience most women are not really interested in sex (at least when they are younger than 30). They would find many more reasons against having sex than for it.

Sexuality is very important to me. I have only found three (or four at best) women who are really sexy. One of them is now my wife: sexy, beautiful face and great body, smart, sweet, nothing is left out; does not hesitate to suggest sex and even teases me when I fail to do so. Another was very good but she was a terrible beach, dealing with her is like being at war, except when you are in bed — but that would compensate a lot; and I nearly married her; she also had a pretty face and great body. The third was my mistress years ago and she really had nothing special except being very sexy. But I still remember her. That is all!! Only THREE WOMEN that I think of as WOMEN. I hardly remember the rest.

What is special about those women they would NEVER think of excuses why we should not have sex. They would always vote ‘for it’ whenever suggested, and never hesitate to suggest themselves. Which stands in sharp contrast to the majority of ordinary women who are much quicker to think of a reason why sex is bad and should be avoided unless… (here goes a long list).

So, I think the poll misses something very important which is also hard to find. Not every woman possesses this quality. And not very many.

[Gator]

Hi Stirlitz,

If your words "truly sexy" were on the list, every man would choose it.  Rather than discover the obvious, I attempted to eliminate sex as a consideration.  It would have been better if I wrote "even though we know it is not true, assume for purposes of this poll that all choices like sex whenever and wherever you want it."

You said "only three".  That is not bad if your total number were 6, or not good if your total number is 200.   

[Stirlitz]

My total number is somehow between 6 and 200

However I noticed that not many men are really interested in sex over other things. You can check: re-run your poll with ‘sexiness’ included.

[Kuna]

You said "only three".  That is not bad if your total number were 6, or not good if your total number is 200.   

Hey Gator,

Those three winks in a row look like a twitch!  

[jb]

They truly care about their parents and will take care of them.  This is a good trait.
So while guys may be attracted to beauty, the real beauty of the girls is their love of family.

This is certainly true.  My wife's mom, (my MIL), has been diagnosed with cancer this past week.  My wife has been inconsolable with grief, worry, and stress until we got her a ticket to fly home.  She will likely remain in Russia until it is over. 

This is an issue I knew about, but had not really understood fully.  For men considering a FSU wife, they should be cognizant of the fact that family emergencies can occur without warning and will present huge stresses on your marriages.  This says nothing of the financial strain on the family budget.  Buying air fares with little advance notice is very expensive.  It's a good job I had tucked away an extra $5,000 for just such an event.

The closeness of the Russian family cannot be over emphasised.

P.S.  I would think a woman's "sexiness" should be a subject best explored during the courtship.  Of course, the OWW will not know if he's marrying a hot sexy woman or an ice cube until it's too late.

[Admin]

This is certainly true.  My wife's mom, (my MIL), has been diagnosed with cancer this past week.  My wife has been inconsolable with grief, worry, and stress until we got her a ticket to fly home.  She will likely remain in Russia until it is over. 

This is an issue I knew about, but had not really understood fully.  For men considering a FSU wife, they should be cognizant of the fact that family emergencies can occur without warning and will present huge stresses on your marriages.  This says nothing of the financial strain on the family budget.  Buying air fares with little advance notice is very expensive.  It's a good job I had tucked away an extra $5,000 for just such an event.

The closeness of the Russian family cannot be over emphasised.

P.S.  I would think a woman's "sexiness" should be a subject best explored during the courtship.  Of course, the OWW will not know if he's marrying a hot sexy woman or an ice cube until it's too late.

jb,

Please pass along my, and Olya's, best wishes to Etna for her mom's speedy and full recovery.

I do not know too much about the cancer diagnosis and treatment options in RU, but I do know that Germany has world-class medical care. Perhaps that it something worth looking into.

In any case, we hope things will turn out OK for your family.

Best Wishes,

- Dan

[viking]

JB

Off thread here but very sorry to hear about your MIL. This is one of those life experiences where sex, a hot body, etc,,mean very little. It is now about caring, love, being able to put family ahead of everything else. A strong bond between husband and wife. You do not mention, perhaps its too personal, on what type of cancer or how serious, but I hope you and your wife are not separated too long. Should things turn in the wrong direction will you go to be with her?

[jb]

Thank you both, Dan and Viking for your kind wishes.

We do not yet know the full extent of the disease, only that x-rays reveal the presence of a tumor and blood tests reveal a 99% probability of cancer.  Exploratory surgery is scheduled for a day in the coming week, we hope the tumor will be excised completely.  Etna will arrive there Wedensday.

Dan, thanks for the tip on Germany, but I've tried to get Babushka to come here, she says she will only do so by train.  The lady is terrified of the thought of flying.  Believe it or not, there are competent surgeons in Moscow, they just don't work within the Russian National Health system, you have to actually pay hard money to get the good ones.  Palms have already been crossed, and she will get the best care money can buy.

Thanks again.

[Gator]

JB,

These are difficult times: for Etna's mama, for Etna, and for you.  I hope for a speedy recovery.  Yes, Russia has excellent private doctors, although not inexpensive.

[William3rd]

jb,

As an aside- this is a good reason why people doing AOS should always apply for a travel document while waiting for the interview. Emergencies do not respect USCIS timelines.

A prayer for a resolution of this grave situation.

[Daknack]

Daknack,
Well I actually agree with you on the general lack of ethics in women these days.  'Part of the reason I've headed across the pond as much as I have.
But to return your honesty, I posted only because curiosity is getting the better of me: what have you seen in the last few months??
Best,
Jerry

Id be more than happy to discuss my experiances the last few months however I would like to do so off board.  When I tell you, you will understand why.  Id also ask you to keep anything I tell you to yourself.  Again I dont want it just being general knowledge.  Some of the Antidate people know a very small portion of the story.  Send me a PM with your info for whatever messenger you use (if its google messenger though I will stab you in your eye it sucks)

To Stirlitz:  First cool avatar!  Second I agree 100% With your sexiness thing, though I would call it willingness to engage in sex, because you can be sexually desirable and be a fridgid stick in bed.  I also agree that it would be in every males top four if they have a functional pee pee.  I did actually consider that when I voted but considered it a subset of "personality".  On further consideration Maybe the poll should be redone with the addition of Sense of Humor and Sexuality.

To Jb:  Sorry for your current problems.

[Michelangelo]

"They truly care about their parents and will take care of them.  This is a good trait.
So while guys may be attracted to beauty, the real beauty of the girls is their love of family."

This is certainly true.  My wife's mom, (my MIL), has been diagnosed with cancer this past week.  My wife has been inconsolable with grief, worry, and stress until we got her a ticket to fly home.  She will likely remain in Russia until it is over. 

JB~  Heartfelt good wishes and prayers to Etna and her mother, and to you, during these difficulty times.

[vwrw]

John, I am sorry to hear this about your wife’s mom. I wish for her to recover.
I agree, if a man is going to get married RW he should be prepared his wife will take care of her “left” parents as though they are her own kids. And if her husband were not glad (pleased) of that, she would begin to hate him.

I think, I understood why many man consider hot body to be important thing…perhaps, it is much more difficult for a man to see his woman’s inner beauty through a lot of fat . But in this case why big woman’s bosoms still let man to see if the woman has a kind heart?  I just wonder. ???

 

[jb]

Thanks to everyone who has expressed sympathy here, Etna really appreciates your good wishes.  My point for bringing it up was to illustrate how a "good" woman reacts to family problems and stress.  A western man should be prepared for this if he climbs aboard this runaway freight train.

from vwrw;

I think, I understood why many man consider hot body to be important thing…perhaps, it is much more difficult for a man to see his woman’s inner beauty through a lot of fat . But in this case why big woman’s bosoms still let man to see if the woman has a kind heart?  I just wonder.

vwrw, when the man sees the big bosoms, he is not at all interested in her heart, he is lusting after something else.  I don't think very many women in ordinary and usual circumstances ever understands why men are such visual creatures, why they are attracted to either large breasts or long legs.  Yet a girl on the hunt for a man, will cleverly display these body features to their best advantage, somehow subconsciously knowing that it will attract the male.   In the same way a lot of men usually don't understand when a woman is giving off sexual signals to a man she is interested in.  Some flirting signals a very subtle and not easy to read, the man with poor dating skills probably never learned the visual clues, and therefore missed out on a lot of great girls/women who were initially interested in him.  If she spends 10 minutes in a man's company and gives him the clues, and he doesn't respond correctly she will assume he's not interested and then the clues go away, and she moves on.  For this reason I believe it's true that usually the woman knows within minutes of meeting if she is going to have sex with a man.  After she has made up her mind, either consciously or subconsciously,  it is then only a matter of courting and wooing before she allows him into her bed.  If she discards his as a possible mate in that first 10 minutes, he then stands little chance of the relationship ever coming around.

Anytime a woman tells a man she "just wants to be friends", he should understand that's the kiss of death.  A man, on the other hand, will tell a woman he "just wants to be friends" when he is tired of his current girlfriend and wants to keep the new girl on the hook for later.  Totally different objectives from two opposite perspectives.

Does that make sense to you?

[Son of Clyde]

JB, sorry to hear the sad news and I am hoping your mother in law will recover fully. What about American doctors in Russia? Doesn't immigration use them for visa exams? Not sure if the medical facilities are up to date but having an American doctor might ensure better all around treatment.

[2tallbill]

Bumpity bump bump!