The Art of "Attraction"

[Kuna]

I would like to draw some criticism away from Ada and Turbo and give them a bit of a break after several days of sustained analysis... (You two owe me for this OK!!!) 

OK,  I'm not asking for criticism but it might be coming so BRING IT ON!

I'd like to get the opinion of the guys that wrote to girls before arriving in FSU...

Did you intentionally or unintentionally do anything to develop attraction with the girls before you met them?

While the reality of a budding relationship can't be confirmed until after meeting, do you think it's possible to do things that lay a foundation for genuine attraction when you meet?

Let's be honest... some men are more successful with girls at home than others, and some have absolutely no idea how to meet and attract the fairer sex.  I suspect that some of those that fail miserably in their FSU quest are among those that have less refined social skills at home. Maybe the "kindness and friendliness" of the girls they meet delude them into thinking that they're suddenly an attractive partner prospect???

I recently did something in letters (sent in the post to my two favourite girls) and received an unexpected result from both.

All the way through this process I've really admired the fact that both girls were intelligent (good careers), fun (lots of laughs on the phone) and level headed (not a single reference to love or romance while still stating a desire to find a man to build a family with).

I considered enclosing a small gift but thought I would continue my normal mode of behaviour, innovate just a little and have some fun.

I wrote a short letter, drew a line around my hand to create a handprint, scented a page with my aftershave and had some fun with the wording about the scent and handprint.

There was an immediate strong reaction from both and the letters seem to have unintentionally had a big effect on the girls imaginations and reactions.  Thankfully there's still no talk of love etc (which would concern me because I've looking for someone who's primarily logical, not emotional) but both girls have commented on the letter every day for the past 4 days and the "style" of communication has changed. 

One was literally squealing with laughter when we were talking about the letter on the phone...

So, my questions were...

Did you intentionally or unintentionally do anything to develop attraction with the girls before you met them?\

What did you do and what were the effects?

Do you think it's possible to do things that lay a foundation for genuine attraction when you meet?

Are there others out there that arranged "meetings" not "dates" and do you think this is more advisable than allowing attraction to develop?

My feelings? 

I don't want to set unreasonable expectations because I think there would be nothing worse than arriving and either person being disappointed.

In my correspondence I'm acting in a similar way to how I act when I meet girls at home. I'm happy in the knowledge that some girls "don't get it" and maybe that's a good way to "qualify" who I meet. (I'd rather "just be me" and see which girls react in positive ways). When these two girls respond in a such positive ways I can't help but think that social skills at home might translate, at least to an extent, when in FSU. 

Do all of the rules of attraction go out the window when you hit the ground in FSU or do the social norms at home transfer when meeting a RW?

Anyway...  it's something new to discuss after several days of repetitive posts about age and research, and I'd be interested in hearing your opinions.

Kuna

[Gator]

Gosh, no one is posting on this subject.

Do you think it's possible to do things that lay a foundation for genuine attraction when you meet?

Yes, be yourself, be open, be sincere and talk, talk, talk on the phone.   If you are able to have such conversations and make them laugh, you are lowering their guard. Consequently, in your case your two are already becoming attracted to you as you are to them (admit it).

Handprint – Cool idea!  RW/UW women love such simple gestures.  You are romancing them via their ears with interesting conversation, and now you have made a simple and physical gesture, something they can touch.  There is no telling what they are doing with your handprint.  You are probably driving them crazy with anticipation.

Did you intentionally or unintentionally do anything to develop attraction with the girls before you met them?

Nothing other than good conversation about life and what made them happy, plus snail mailing some hard copy photos.  Three women told me repeatedly when we met that they adored the fact that I made them laugh and feel at ease.  Some others were impossible to make laugh, and they were not much fun on a date.  One did comment about my “big hands” in a golf photo – maybe they have a “hand” thing.

I don't want to set unreasonable expectations because I think there would be nothing worse than arriving and either person being disappointed. 

It happens.  I recognized it in one woman’s face when she saw me and my wrinkles – she rolled her eyes away.  She was still “nice” and I overstayed my time with her.  In contrast, another woman who had seemed aloof over the phone nearly swooned when she first saw me.  She stared at me speechless yet sensually for at least 1-2 minutes with big doe eyes and nothing moving but her dancing eyelids.  I said something and she ignored me.  It made me uncomfortable, and three hours later she spurted the phrase – “You no marry me” (what a piece of work she was, but fun).  The young one who became my fiancee smiled at our first encounter and immediately turned her head in shyness for a long time.  She remarked the next day that she was expecting an older man and I was better looking than in my photos.  Boy, did that sales pitch ever work on me. 

In my correspondence I'm acting in a similar way to how I act when I meet girls at home. 

Exactly what you should be doing – it is called being yourself.

Do all of the rules of attraction go out the window when you hit the ground in FSU or do the social norms at home transfer when meeting a RW?

IMO it seems to be the same as in the USA (I do not know about Oz).  There are some things that you should do that will help (in your case the two will like you so much that they will forgive you):

-   Stress gentlemanly manners (helping with a coat, door, etc.)
-   Take the lead such as “I am having some wine, would you please join me.  What do you normally drink?”  Always suggest something even if it is “Let’s do what you normally do”.  Yet, do not push.
-   Compliment her and express your interest in direct, non-sexual terms if you are indeed interested.  There will be much to compliment.
-   Look for and read her signals (they usually do not repeat them).
-   Do not throw money around, but do not be cheap.
-   Do not talk about past relationships (while American women seem to want to dwell on their little soapbox dramas, FSU women have had a more difficult life and do not want to talk about it until they really know you and can trust you).
-           If you are sexually attracted, pursue it slowly with a kiss, and do not wait for her to make a move.  In this area, no two are the same.  You will likely know how she feels without words.

Both girls

One dyev bit the dust.  What happened?  Careful, this is almost like meeting just one woman, especially considering the time you have available.

[SANDRO43]

I wrote a short letter, drew a line around my hand to create a handprint, scented a page with my aftershave and had some fun with the wording about the scent and handprint...There was an immediate strong reaction from both and the letters seem to have unintentionally had a big effect on the girls imaginations and reactions.

Is that a Kuna-original, or an ab-original, trick ?

You hit them in the oldest (reptilian) part of our brain through the oldest sense we possess, smell (chemical messages, as used by the simplest and earliest cells). No telling what the reaction may be, since smell is totally irrational (you can mentally recreate a sound or a sight, but not a smell) : it can provoke total acceptance or total revulsion. 

You may have experienced walking somewhere with your mind occupied by some thoughts when suddenly, bingo, a particular scent (say woodsmoke), transported you instantly to another place and time, connected with it.   

The aroma/perfume industry relies heavily on these irrational messages, which may even be imprinted in our species : who the hell nowadays is familiar with "the strong-smelling substance secreted by a gland in the abdomen of the male musk deer" ?

Although, since "the odor is also emitted by the muskrat of India and Europe, by the Musk Duck (Biziura lobata) of southern Australia", you may have an unfair advantage over the rest of us (I would not know how to recognise a muskrat if I ever saw one, unless it were prominently labelled as such ).

[ScottinCrimea]

     I learned a lot listening to my wife coach AM's who had come to meet a woman here on how to attract her and her friends chime in with their opinions  I love seeing the clueless faces on some of the men.

     FSU want to see a certain sense of stability reliability and consistency since their lives are often lacking in this and the RM's typically lack this.  They also expect you to take the lead to show that you are a strong man.  This means you ask her opinion and then make the decision.  None of this, "Whatever you want is fine with me" stuff.  It doesn't mean, however, that you show a desire to control her. 

They love a man who can make them laugh and it really doesn't take much.  Anyone who has spent any time watching TV there, especially the comedy shows, will know that their humor is on a simpler level and more straightforward than what we are used to here.  More like something you would have seen in the US in the 50's and 60's.  Sexual humor, especially explicit, will not be seen favorably.

Every woman I have ever spoken to there says she wants a man who understands her.  Now us older guys know, and I'm sure many of you younger guys are figuring out that this is next to impossible even with an AM, let alone a woman from a different culture.  You have to read between the lines, watch facial expressions and reactions to what you say and essentially do your best to read their minds.  You'll miss a lot, but they really appreciate it when you do get it right and will feel that you are making the effort.  When they feel this, they will open up more to you.  When I was there and not so fluent in Russian, I had to rely a lot on nonverbal clues to pick up the gist of what was being said and this has been a big help in my relationship with my wife.  She feels I am the only person who has ever really understood her (with the exception of her mother, which she reluctantly admits)

They appreciate romantic gestures but you can't go overboard.  They are used to shallow romantic gestures from RM's who just want to get them into bed.  It's the simple little day to day things that will get them interested the most.  Better a rose once a day than a diamond once a year.  They want to see the day to day consistency of feeling loved in all the ups and downs, sex or no sex.

They like compliments, but don't go overboard or they will quesnon the sincerity.  Don't just say, "You're beautiful".  Tell her she looks nice in the dress in her picture or how her eyes light up when she laughs.  Tell her her ass doesn't look so fat in those jeans (just kidding!).  Anyway, keep the compliments specific and without hyperbole.

I know some of these have gone beyond the initial question of what to do to attract them before you meet, but they can still appy with modifications.  They basically want what most women want no matter where they are from.  You just need to adjust how you present this according to the culture.  The best advice is to keep it simple.  The scented handprint is a good example.  I guarantee you that it had a bigger impression than if he had sent them an expensive necklace.

Oh and the most important thing: When you do finally meet for the first time, make sure that your shoes are clean!

Now having read this, I'm wondering how my wife was ever attracted to me, because she suffered through my learning curve as I learned how to apply my well honed American wooing skills to her and her different expectations.

[El Rock]

Do not use "High Karate ", you know   what that  will do .
 
Good advice up there .

The most important thing to do is to "befriend her ".
Connect with her as friends .
At the same time , discuss with her what and why you are both doing this  , to see if there  is a connection , she will understand  .
Tell  her
" Well , it's time to go to Kiev and see if we have a "in person" connection  .
This will   be a fun and interesting   international date ."

Something like that ,  keep it simple , not heavy  .

Hope that helps

[Turboguy]

Humm, cool thought sending an outline of your hand.  Makes me wonder what Albert would send an outline of.

[Kuna]

Sorry this is a long post...

Yes, be yourself, be open, be sincere and talk, talk, talk on the phone.   If you are able to have such conversations and make them laugh, you are lowering their guard. Consequently, in your case your two are already becoming attracted to you as you are to them (admit it).

There are frequent phone calls and regular emails with both favourites.  The phone calls vary from an hour or more in length, to quick 10 minute ones.  One of the girls sends little messages from work saying "I'm having a bad day and hearing your voice makes me feel warm".  When those emails arrive I always give a quick call. After the calls she always sends a short email telling me how much better she feels.   

Attracted to them??? ABSOLUTELY, that's why we're planning to meet.  The thing I'm most attracted to are their personalities.  By coincidence both are lawyers, we always share a laugh and both ask many questions. Neither are blonde "bombshells" and there have been no revealing photos (that was an automatic "disengage" for me)....  (OK, one of them sent a pic with her in a very discrete pose that just let me know that she has more cleavage than the average girl.  Nothing too obtuse though)...

Handprint – Cool idea!  RW/UW women love such simple gestures.  You are romancing them via their ears with interesting conversation, and now you have made a simple and physical gesture, something they can touch.  There is no telling what they are doing with your handprint.  You are probably driving them crazy with anticipation.

The handprint was a burst of inspiration that came out of the blue.  I drew it in the corner of that page I asked them to place their hand in mine to see if it fits and feels good.     If it does feel good "we have passed an important point I don't like holding a girls hand if it's larger than mine".     (As a point of interest I have big hands so it's IMPOSSIBLE for any petite girl to have larger ones!)

One of them wrote to me yesterday and told me that now she is waking up every morning and "touching my hand".  Kinda sweet!!!

IMO it seems to be the same as in the USA (I do not know about Oz).  There are some things that you should do that will help (in your case the two will like you so much that they will forgive you):

-   Stress gentlemanly manners (helping with a coat, door, etc.)
-   Take the lead such as “I am having some wine, would you please join me.  What do you normally drink?”  Always suggest something even if it is “Let’s do what you normally do”.  Yet, do not push.
-   Compliment her and express your interest in direct, non-sexual terms if you are indeed interested.  There will be much to compliment.
-   Look for and read her signals (they usually do not repeat them).
-   Do not throw money around, but do not be cheap.
-   Do not talk about past relationships (while American women seem to want to dwell on their little soapbox dramas, FSU women have had a more difficult life and do not want to talk about it until they really know you and can trust you).
-           If you are sexually attracted, pursue it slowly with a kiss, and do not wait for her to make a move.  In this area, no two are the same.  You will likely know how she feels without words.

GREAT advice here...  Gator, I really appreciate your participation in my journey!  Thank you...

It's exactly what I do at home naturally... It's not forced.  I won't forget because it's the way I was raised.

As for expressing my interest in non-sexual terms I've already covered that.  It might be hard to believe but I am actually a guy who can control his sexual urges.  I do at home (now) and I can there. 

I will spend a few days with both girls in Kiev and then a few days in their hometowns.  As you know I intend returning to the "favourites" hometown for a week at the end of my trip.

Anyway, when we talk about our plans I tell them which things I will make decisions on (date of arrival, term of stay, etc etc) BUT they must make some decisions too...  (getting worried yet? asking them to make decisions???  WHAT'S HE DOING???) 

I said they must make the decisions on accommodation options like I've described below:

1. "When we're in Kiev we can stay in separate apartments but they may not be in the same building or even the same street.  This is OK with me but it might mean we spend some less time together.) 

2. "We can stay in the same apartment if you are comfortable. I will get a 2 bedroom apartment but we must have strict rules about knocking on doors and ringing a bell when meals are ready" (I'm cooking... I love cooking).  "You can choose this option, it's OK... I like having my own bed." 

3. "If they promise not to breach my trust,  we can stay in a 1 bedroom apartment.  I can control myself and if it doesn't work out we can decide who sleeps on the sofa bed."

"You can make this decision because it is most important that you are comfortable and happy.  I don't have a preference so you can feel free to choose the best option"

Both chose the 1 bedroom option... and one of them made a big point about it being good because she will then be able to tell if I am a man of my word.  The other one said we had developed trust, and it would be a waste of money to stay in separate apartments.

So... I know we've developed trust... I've just got to force myself to sleep on my stomach! 

One dyev bit the dust.  What happened?  Careful, this is almost like meeting just one woman, especially considering the time you have available.

Gator... nope.. I'm still meeting 3 but the newsreader isn't keeping up with the others in the depth of understanding and comfort that's being developed.  I sense the newsreader is less motivated to find a fulfilling marriage,  but I am meeting her on the day of my arrival and we're spending the next day together (Her birthday). She wants me to come to her apartment (with her mother) on the night of her birthday.

The other two have revealed more interesting characters and been more open, but the newsreader still has some strengths... I think it's still a good idea to meet her and see what happens, but the others are emerging as "more favourite".

This has turned into a mini-update on my progress so I'll make a couple of quick notes on other things. 

Both "favourite" girls are taking holidays for the time I have available with them.  I included short notes for their mothers with my letter in the post.  Separate envelopes, written in English but asked the girls to read and translate for their mothers.  The note simply said:

"My name was "Kuna" [Ukrainian Surname] and I'm from Australia.  I'm an honourable man and during the time I have been writing and calling their daughter I have learned many lovely things about them [mentioned the specific thing].  I'm coming to Ukr and will enjoy learning more.  Over time we will both know if our friendship will grow into a relationship that will make us both happy."

I know it was risky but I'd rather crash and burn before arriving than after (I still have time to set up other dates if needed). I guessed both girls could decide if they read the notes to their mothers.

The responses???

#1 said that she'd seen my photos and her daughter talks about me a lot.  She wants me to come to dinner in their home and when her husband returns from Moscow she would like me to meet him.  (There was some more but basically it was "Yeah,  let's move slowly and if you're good enough for my girl I'll be happy if she's happy).  She also commented on my handprint!   

#2 "mum" created a small problem.  She lives in Moscow and she wanted to come to Ukr to meet me.  I explained to my friend that I felt bad allowing her mother to ride 19 hours on a train each way so she should let her mother that if we meet again in June we'll both come to Moscow so she can get to know me.  My friend sounded "stunned" that I would travel to Moscow to meet her Mother and said she'd be very happy if this happened, and then went into a long discussion about her sister, brother-in-law and their three children and how I could also meet them.

Basically,  the level of communication with the girls seems excellent.  I'm taking so many damn photos of things I'm doing (Dinners, family gatherings, Christmas Parties, etc) that there's no doubt they are getting a clear idea of my surroundings and lifestyle.  They've both got lovely bright personalities and even the small negatives (realities) is stuff I can live with.

Phew... that's my quick update!  32 days until departure!

[KenC]

So, my questions were...

Did you intentionally or unintentionally do anything to develop attraction with the girls before you met them?

Just communicate with them as you would any woman that you are trying to get to know.  If you are a flirt, then flirt.  It is no time to hold back on any charm you can muster.

What did you do and what were the effects?

Lena and I talked on the phone almost every day.  We both looked forward to our conversations and we spoke of everything under the sun:  General biographical information, family make up, family values, life in Russia and America, past dating/marriage, likes/dislikes, governments, politics, world events, light romantic discussions.  I thought and still think that getting too overly romantic before meeting is a waste of time and energy because it can be counter productive.  You want to test the waters a bit to make sure she isn't a cold fish, but getting in too deep in this area can set you up for failure due to too much fantasizing.  There will be plenty of time for that and you will never know the truth in this area until you are face to face.

Do you think it's possible to do things that lay a foundation for genuine attraction when you meet?

Of course!  Like I said above, you really cannot know if you two will be hot for each other until you meet face to face, but then it is almost instantaneous.  The second I saw Lena and her reaction to me, I knew I was had.  She has told me the very same thing.  We went directly to a restaurant and in just a few moments we were toasting champagne with our arms intertwined as if we had known each other forever.

Are there others out there that arranged "meetings" not "dates" and do you think this is more advisable than allowing attraction to develop?

Meeting women and then trying to turn the meeting into a date is much more difficult.  The first meeting (with limited or no prior set up) is just a "look see" if the couple is the least bit interested in getting involved deeper.  High stress (for both sides) and not too effective.  You and she have about 30 seconds to make an impression or the otherside is gonna say "pass."  Every woman I met wanted to go to the next level, but I only chose a few for a follow up "date."

I have to admit that I was pretty experienced in meeting American women via the Net before getting involved with RW.  I made my mistakes here locally and learned the "rules of attraction" in regard to a prior Internet relationship before actual meeting.  I knew that a "virtual" relationship can turn into a fantasy very quickly if you let it go that way, setting expectations too high for no reason. Nothingcan replace the first few seconds of a face to face meeting!
KenC

[Bruno]

(I would not know how to recognise a muskrat if I ever saw one, unless it were prominently labelled as such ).

no problem... in some country, you have information panel 



And of course, you can find them on the head of some Russian !

Muskrat, Fur hat with external ear flaps (dark brown)

[KenC]

Kuna,
You are one smooth Aussie dude!  (I just read your update)  Save some "moves" for Ukraine!  You are about to have the time of your life!  I would wish you luck, but with your style and panache you don't need it!
KenC

[Kuna]

Turbo...  I don't think he'd trace the outline of "it" because that'd be hard to brag about huh!   


Sandro/Bruno...  Your obsession with Muskrats is worrying me.       If you ever found one you'd know it!

By the way... the aftershave thing was intentional.  I know women are more in tune with their senses than men.  I would NEVER scent a letter until there was a close rapport with a girl but the time was right. I'd also never do it unless I was sure I was a good judge of fragrances. 

I didn't just scent the page.  I explained that they "had read my words and they knew my voice and now they could smell my scent.  When we meet I ask just one thing... I want you to stand close to me and close your eyes because you'll know me from memory."

One of the girls told me she keeps the letter in her handbag so she can take a smell during the day.  Again, a very sweet response. (She commented it was "sweet but manly" and that I was obviously a very strong man)


Scott... thanks for some great advice.  Creating attraction isn't usually a problem for me but it's really valuable to hear from someone as experienced (and successful) as you.


Ken...  Thanks for the kind words.  I've had "some" experience dating at home  and generally have an excellent rapport with the fairer sex.  Again, your comments are always greatly appreciated.  Oh, and don't worry, I have some moves left in the ol' kit bag!


The thing is, I know there are so many ways to embark upon this journey and I've tried to stay true to myself on a several levels.  I'm not "desperate" marry a RW/UW but I suspect with my background I will have a greater appreciation for the right UW than I have for most of the girls at home.

This will be a great adventure and if I am not "successful" I know I'll still be happy because I have broad objectives for my trip.

Kuna

[Gator]

When I wrote, “There is no telling what they are doing with your handprint,” it was an understaement.  One is sleeping with it and the other walking around with it all day.  I was wrong when I added, “You are probably driving them crazy with anticipation.”  These women are already “hot and bothered”.  Hopefully they never meet and compare handprints. 

With several women I have shared a 1BR apartment for the first meeting.  It is fine.  Many FSU people live in cramped conditions such that a 1BR for just two people will seem spacious.   It is a good way to explore a relationship, you can increase trust, and it leaves open options.  These women trust you and want to trust you even more.  Nevertheless, I think you should take a quick course in the art of massage before you depart.

You may find this strange, but you probably should change apartments between the two women.  It will make the second one feel better if she ever asks.  One woman I knew threatened to throw her bed out the window when we were talking about a breakup.

[Kuna]

Nevertheless, I think you should take a quick course in the art of massage before you depart.

You may find this strange, but you probably should change apartments between the two women.  It will make the second one feel better if she ever asks.  One woman I knew threatened to throw her bed out the window when we were talking about a breakup.

Massage... No problem!     It's one of the things I've been told I'm very good at.

Totally understand your comments about changing apartments and it was already in the plan.

I'm actually spending some time in Kyiv with #1 and then going to her hometown and then going to #2's hometown and we'll go to Kyiv after a few days so changing apartments seems natural anyway.

Kuna

[jb]

Kuna,

You can be as reserved about sex as you want to be, but,,, you just don't know Russian women.  If you tease these woman like that and then spend time in a flat together, don't be surprised if one, or both, don't jump your bones in the middle of the night just to prove a point to themselves.  Women like to feel desirable, your plan so far seems to put that part on the back shelf. 

I'd be amazed if things go as you've outlined so far.

[Gator]

I will confess to what JB just desribed.  One time I was being cool, reserved and trustworthy.  We turned off the lights for sleeping and she closed the door to the BR.  Two minutes later she opened the door, looked at me, smiled, and motioned for me to join her in the BR. Hand signals are the same in both cultures.

[DKMM]

Nice one Kuna!

You sound like me last summer, getting more excited about the 2 and kinda forgetting about the other one.  But don't!  That newsreader just might be what you are looking for.  Its strange, but your trip looks so much like mine did beforehand... and I'm still in it (to some extent) with that distant 3rd met on arrival so don't forget her!

Its too bad its a month away I'm already anticipating your trip report.

[Kuna]

Kuna,

You can be as reserved about sex as you want to be, but,,, you just don't know Russian women.  If you tease these woman like that and then spend time in a flat together, don't be surprised if one, or both, don't jump your bones in the middle of the night just to prove a point to themselves.  Women like to feel desirable, your plan so far seems to put that part on the back shelf. 

I'd be amazed if things go as you've outlined so far.

jb...  The Art of Attraction...  hmmm... you might be right...  If I act like this I might end up finding intimacy with a girl in FSU.  My goal isn't sex, I can get that at home, but intimacy is an important part of every budding relationship huh!

A REAL relationship would top off this trip.

Amazed?  Not sure if I know what you mean by that.... ?

Kuna

[Jooky]

I know exactly what he means. Ha ha.

My first of ten recent trips to Russia was a journey to meet three women with plans and intentions very similar to yours. I'll be amazed too. 

[Kuna]

I know exactly what he means. Ha ha.

My first of ten recent trips to Russia was a journey to meet three women with plans and intentions very similar to yours. I'll be amazed too. 

hahaha (oh, and that's a nervous laugh)  ???

Now you're freaking me out! 

I guess I'll soon find out...

[jb]

Amazed?  Not sure if I know what you mean by that.... ?
hahaha (oh, and that's a nervous laugh)
Now you're freaking me out!

Don't know why???  Let me try to 'splain it to you.  You'll find Russian women to be very demonstrative with their affections if they are interested in a man.  Further, if you DON'T put the moves on a gal within a few days she will begin to think you don't find her attractive as a woman.  This is bad.  Thus my comment that she will have to prove to herself that she is still a desirable woman.

Like I said, I'd be amazed if during your trip you remained celibate for the entire time.  As the old saying goes, "if rape is inevitable, just relax and enjoy it."

[Kuna]

Sheeesh!  I had to go back and read my earlier post then to make sure I didn't say I was "aiming for celibacy".

I checked...  and see how some might be confused.   

Nope...  I'm not trying to return home with my "virtue" in tact but at the same time my intention isn't to "bed" every girl I meet.

What I DO know is that when a couple become intimate men lose all perspective.  To be blunt... we make crap decisions!

I'm trying to maintain some perspective during my trip... hopefully up until the last week when I would have already made a decision about who I want to spend more time with.

Kuna

[Gator]

I had written the following and then got on the phone:  Perhaps I read it wrong, but I do not think Kuna planned to be celibate.  He just did not want to pull an "Albert" and have immediate intimacy cloud the process of getting to know a woman better.

For the two possessing his hand print, I bet the farm on "within 48 hours" even if Kuna behaves as a reserved gentleman.  A bookie would probably give me less than even odds.
  
For sure the first one he meets will eventually understand that Kuna has more time to spend in Ukraine, and she will not let him get away without putting her brand on his hindquarters.

[IAmZon]

My friend!  I think you are in such a huge and wonderful problem. Don't mean to be oversimplistic ... but I strongly assume that you will want to get to know at least 2 - maybe all 3 - girls better.  And what pain and confusion THAT will cause!

Regarding sex soon, or late.  The issue is RESPECT.

Kuna, I was in a similar situation as you are now where I wanted to STRESS my human qualities over a man's normal desire to get skin - exactly one year ago with a woman from FSU.  I think I was a little more freaked over her than you are with your three candidates (is this not great!?!?)

I sort of put the woosie on a pedestal.  In retrospect, I over emphasized the point to her and myself. It created a very, very slight - but very important - distance between us.  Still the events unfolded just as Gator suggested. 

I was trying not to be me. If I had it all over to do again, I would not have been so reserved.  I would have just been myself ... I'd would have bit the apple when I  SHOULD have - H A R D.  When it was "natural". I would have left a much more lasting impression in the evening rather than the morning (litereally).

PS. In this case, I first saw how quickly and categorically a RW can make up her mind.  From that point on, I was "conservative."

[KenC]

Kuna,
You crack me up!  I know you are a hometown studmuffin, but son, you aint seen nuttin yet!  What the boys are trying to tell ya is WHEN A RW VANTS YOU, SHE VILL HAVE YOU AND SHE VILL ROCK YOUR WORLD. Not all of us were this phucked up before we went through this ritual!  An important thing to remember too, is that a woman usually makes up her mind about having sex with a man in the first 30 seconds of meeting.  So look sharp my man.
KenC

[jb]

Perhaps I read it wrong, but I do not think Kuna planned to be celibate.  He just did not want to pull an "Albert" and have immediate intimacy cloud the process of getting to know a woman better.

No, you didn't read it wrong and neither did I.  <thinking,,,there ought to be a *tongue-in-cheek* emotican around here>