The Reality of Risk

[I/O]

As I walked across the tarmac of the Novosibirsk airport in South Western Siberia at 1:25 am on a relatively warm -2oc November morning, I hesitated slightly to absorb what was something of a less than real moment.  The aging Siberian Airlines airbus A310 almost glistened under the sharp floodlights which illuminated the area for several hundred meters in all directions.

Light rain and the smallest type of Russian snow brushed gently on my face, however I was almost unaware of the sharpness as I was absorbed in such a mixture of emotions.  I chose to use the front stairs of the airbus as almost nobody was using them and my seat was in the forward half of the plane.  Concentration was near impossible as I pondered the text message I had received a few minutes before simply saying “I love you too”. 

At the top of the stairs, I forced myself to stop and spend a moment surveying the surreal scene of the near freezing air over the vast city lights of Novosibirsk.  I was acutely aware of the fact that somewhere on the other side of the city in the main rail station was sitting a woman, waiting for her train home, some 500 kilometers away.  It was this very same woman who had sent me the text message a few minutes ago. 

As I turned to meet the smiling stewardess, I really wondered if I would ever set foot on Russian soil again.  A melancholy feeling began to flood my thinking as I finally faced the beginning of the long journey home to Australia.  Amongst the kaleidoscope of emotions, one thing was clear and unavoidable.  For the first time in many years and only the second time in my life, I was in love.

When God smiles on us, he does so in a very real and personal way.  For all the possible seats I could have been allocated on the relatively short 4 ½ hour flight to Pei King in China, somehow God knew very well this was a time when I needed my solitude.  I found my seat and to my disappointment it was a window seat, however as God would dictate, there was nobody allocated to the seat next to me.  Therefore I had all the private space and time I so desperately needed.

As the old, noisy Airbus tore it’s way into the freezing Siberian night sky, the young and pretty, if slightly overweight Siberian stewardess showed a maturity far beyond her years when she caught my eye for a few brief seconds as she quietly served my juice.  The simple word in English, “enjoy”, together with that “ever so gentle” hint of a smile, which I have come to understand is almost unique to Russian women,  suggested to me she had seen the almost tears in my eyes and perhaps, although I could never know for sure, she had understood all.

Needing to be at the height of mental alertness in Pei King, as the international transit system is less than simple, I knew, somehow I must sleep.  Slipping a sleeping pill in my mouth during my meal was probably the best move I could have made, as sleep was near instant, which also allowed me to block a little of the sadness of wondering when I would again see the beautiful person whom I had been so fortunate to come to know over the last year, and even more so, spend the last 2 weeks together with.

The month we spent together earlier in the year was indeed a special time, however now we had become closer than ever and were developing that compliant understanding which is unique to each and every couple.  How was it that me, a naturally conservative person from one of the most conservative countries on earth had embarked on such an unconventional course of action?

Surprisingly enough, the rest of the long trip home to Australia, including the 16 hour delay in Kuala Lumpa became something of a blur as I continued to consider the last five years and the events which had led me to again visiting the far reaches of Siberia.  I wrestled desperately trying to put everything in some sort of logical order.  I almost seemed to be looking into the glass bowl of someone else’s life as I thought through a long and complex sequence of events.

Remembering as if yesterday, the day in early 1993 when my bride walked arm in arm with her father to join together with me and promise to spend all her life with me.  Almost ten years later, I also remembered being devastated to arrive to our home one Saturday afternoon and find that letter on the kitchen table falsely accusing me of the most vile acts and advising the marriage was over.

I thought through the bitter year which followed.  The sickness it included and the loss of 20 kg’s in weight.  I wondered, and in fact still wonder from where I drew the strength to survive that year.  When the property settlement and legal divorce finally came it heralded the greatest change my life had known. 

As I reflected on this and the following two years I took comfort in the knowledge all had been finally put to rest and I was indeed free to bestow my love on and enjoy receiving the love of another person. I knew without any doubt, I had no attachment to the past at all.  It was now clear that as I had hoped for some time my life now lay in front of me and not behind me. 

Driving from the Brisbane international airport some 46 hours later, beginning the 2 hour trip to my home, I thumbed a quick text message to advise mine that I had arrived safely back on Australian soil.  Probably waiting in Russia for my message, she sent an almost instant reply which put so many things into perspective.  “Please in machine careful and not fast” came across the screen of my phone and it said so many things together with the fact she was genuinely worried for my safety.  I smiled warmly and settled back into my seat, turned the radio on and set cruise control.  Two hours would be a long time tonight.

Some days later as I again reflected on those events of the previous 5 years, I remembered fondly the coffee I shared with my parents at the Brisbane airport in May of 2004 at the commencement of my 5 months of travel.  Somehow, the beauty of Canada, the mystery of Mexico and the sophistication of Europe simply paled into the background as my thoughts again drifted to Siberia.

For the international traveler, Russia is a complex mixture of fierce security, unintelligible language, unsmiling faces and spectacular beauty and warmth.  One who has not seen Russia could never fully understand the extremes in standards which exist.  Without language or guide or clear plan, the challenge which faced me was a wonderful relief from and helped to vanquish the bitter memories of recent times, probably almost forever. 

After surviving the intensity of Moscow, the driving rain on arrival at Irkutsk in Central Eastern Siberia presented comparably little challenge.  Something told me this place was near to home, although geographically nothing could be further from the truth.  I quickly found conversation of sorts with the mini bus driver and was to form a solid friendship over the next days with him and his family.  Some 4 months later again enjoying coffee with my parents, this time in their home, I was asked of the highlight of my travel.  The answer could be but one, Siberia. 

A not un-weighty remark, that, before life had passed, I would again love to visit Siberia was to return to me time and again.  It should have been no surprise to me that a letter received from a lady on an internet introduction site some 14 months later, which caught my attention, after being totally disgusted with internet introductions, would of course be written by a Siberian woman.  I couldn’t know her geography, other than she was Russian when I read the strange and question filled letter. 

Why I read the letter several times remains a mystery.  Eventually I concluded this person was seeking advice and as such deserved a decent reply.  An exchange of intelligent and philosophical letters ensued which gradually developed in to text message exchanges and live online webcam conversations over the next weeks and months.  It occurred to me at some point, this person was immovable in her loyalty and very much the type of person I highly respected. 

Risk is something which had never frightened me.  Facing the challenges of high level sporting competitions, international travel and legal battles over assets had always been taken in stride.  Was I now facing the greatest risk of my life, or had the risks I had taken by traveling into unknown parts begun to pay high dividends? 

The old quotation, “There is none so blind as those who refuse to see” stared me in the face as I realized the doubts and fears of recent days were simply a result of the tiring trip home from Russia.  When I focused on the effort another person was making, which included a 44 hour train ride to an embassy interview and a 44 hour train ride home again, in order to gain the right to spend her life with me as she had promised, I could no longer allow fear to play any part in my thinking.

I now understood more fully that the ability to completely trust another person was slowly, if very slowly beginning to come back to me after all these years.  It would take time, but we had time and I could only hope that she was strong enough and wise enough to understand me a little and have the patience to allow that available time to take it’s natural course.  I had to learn to believe that she would never do anything to betray the trust I was beginning to bestow in her.  I had no reason to disbelieve her loyalty.  I was simply overwhelmed by the privilege.

Taking calculated risks had always been part of my nature and had paid me well over the years, so now was no time to depart from my true self.  Again, risks were demonstrating themselves as being daunting and delightful at the same time.  What joy to understand completely that another person, particularly one whom I highly respected was taking all the same, and perhaps even more risks for me.

Now we would wait for the bureaucratic process to take it’s course………………………………

[Michelangelo]

Thanks for sharing your story and for taking the writing beyond first draft to make your story one of beauty. 

We look forward to more! :-)

[I/O]

M/A.  Thanks and I am glad you enjoyed my utterances.  I will admit that it is extracted from the initial draft of my only partly completed O/B, which is being very slowly compiled to serve another purpose.

From time to time it is pleasurable to recall some of our interesting experiences and perhaps share them with others.  Mine and I are quite enthusiastic in respect of helping others who are, have, or may be considering walking the same path as us.  I feel strongly that it is necessary to empathise with others who may be experiencing similar thoughts or emotions.

I am sure our story is not unique in the bigger picture, but it is our unique story, to which over time I will add a few anecdotes for the benefit or amusement of others.

Best wishes to you and yours for 2007.  I/O.

[LEGAL]

I/O I enjoyed reading your story and can relate in many ways. Olechka and I wish you both S NOVIM GODOM.....

[I/O]

Legal.  Pazhalsta......!!!!

I/O who speak pathetic Russian and his partner almost p**s herself laughing when he does. (Although she secretly appreciates it)

[Louie]

Excellent read!! Thank you!   And welcome aboard!

[I/O]

Louie Thanks for the welcome.  All the best to you and yours for the New Year (Which it is already here)

I/O who realises the we Aussies only lead the world in about 1 thing.....time...!!

[viking]

I/O

Lets not forget about sailing!!! And great BBQ's. Do not be so humble.

[I/O]

Viking.BBQ's, yes I will lay claim to that one, in fact I have just finished hosting about a dozen friends for a typically good Aussie barbie in recognition of the new year, which BTW, please accept my good wishes to you and yours for the upcoming year.

Beer drinking seems to be one of our less reputable, world leading habits.   Sailing....hmm that must have really stung for the memory to be still living.   I don't think we can live on that one forever.

I like to think our greatest strengths are our good friends and our ability to have a good laugh at ourselves.   On that note, before I do actually retire to my bed for whats left of this night, I'll relate a "Yarn" (Short anecdote) which is as it happened early in my search for a partner abroad.  Hope you have a laugh at my expense.

I left My hotel in Zurich Switzerland late because I had missed the bus...yes I got a taxi to the Airport and of course it was the Driver's first day....Late to the Airport...not enough local cash to pay the driver...so off we go to an ATM and get far too much cash....so by the time I got it changed at the money exchange, got through immigration etc...the Lady at the departure gate was extremely upset....yelling at me she ordered another bus to transport me to the plane.

Of course I got there, but by this time I had to do "the walk of shame" right down the isle of the plane to the rear...!!! Needless to say we had missed our departure time and whilst we were waiting for another spot in the queue to depart I suffered the indignity of various "Glares" from all the other travellers. 

I was connecting in Vienna to another flight with a 1 hour changeover...well of course I repeated the whole performance....only this time I had boarded a Moldova Air flight and the passengers were very much less happy than the previous flight...!!! My first taste of Moldova and the FSU..!!!

Eventually arriving in Moldova at 16.30 local time, I duly went to the Visa desk to obtain my Visa...I guess I looked very much like a foreign tourist and the immigration official saw his big opportunity for the day and informed me that my "Letter of Invitation" was incorrect..!! Needless to say the author of the letter "A very attractive and intelligent Moldovan Lady" whom I had been "Courting" via the internet for some months was waiting outside the Airport for my arrival.

4 1/2 hours later, after many phone calls and eventually my putting 50USD in the Official's Greedy pocket, I was released from the Airport.

I met with my new friend...I was stunned...she was even more beautiful and intelligent than I had imagined..!! We proceeded to the "Ramp" down to the Taxi area...(About 50 metres long) anyone who has been to Kishinev will know what I am talking about. I stepped onto the ramp with my luggage in one hand and the hand of my new friend in the other hand. I slipped and to cut a long story short, I fell on my back side and slide 40 metres to the bottom of the ramp into the arms of a very excited Taxi Driver. The tangle of human bodies, luggage and Bad swearing must have been quite a site to see. As I raised my eyes to see where my friend was, I discovered she was still at the top of the ramp crying her eyes out.

I was covered in Blood, with my clothes torn from end to end. Small wonder that The Police arrested me in the street when I was trying to get money from an ATM to pay the taxi Driver.

Another hour and another 50 USD later they released me and eventually we proceeded to the beautiful apartment my friend had arranged for me to stay in.

The day did become somewhat more Romantic after that, but to be honest I was in such a condition that I could not really enjoy the situation until several days later.

Fortunately, My friend was a very patient woman.

Cheers, I hope you enjoy reading as much as I do thinking about 5th June 200.......

I/O Who feels like a complete idiot every time he thinks of this day.

[KenC]

Welcome to our humble forum I/O.  Your writing skills are amazing and I will be looking forward to reading more of your story.  I have to admit to actually laughing out loud at your dramatic entrance to the fsu as told above.
KenC

[Vaughn]

Well-written, a great read, I/O. A hearty welcome to you.
Looking forward to more....

Vaughn

[I/O]

Ken C & Vaughn Cheers Guys....(As we say down here) Thanks for the welcome and all the very best to you and yours for this New Year (Which I think is still comming for you guys).  It's a bright sunny summer day here, but I must admit that my eyes are still looking through the aftermarth of a few caronas from last night, so might not be seeing all as it actually is right now.

Humble forum?  Hmmm interesting remark.  I think I rather like that approach.  Being a vetran of a couple of other forums which have sadly taken something of a turn for the worse, I searched around a little before noticing this and it rather appealed, so I hope I might be able to contribute something useful and of course from a selfish perspective, learn something also.

As yet there is still much reading for me to do here over the next few weeks and it rather looks as if there is an interesting spread of ideas and opinions.  Already, there appears to be a frank robustness amoung some of the contributers which is quite impressive. 

It's really nice to hear that you enjoyed a few of my mumblings and over time I will try to take you back a little in time and then through to the present day.  I have no doubt that many of my experiences are not entirely unique, however they are my unique experiences so to say and I suspect some others might be able to relate.

My entry to the FSU was rather dramatic.   When I look back, I was incedibly lucky not to finish up in hospital that day.  My one major regret is that nobody had a video camara at the time.  I think you guys have a similar TV show to the one screened here, that is "Funniest Home Videos" or similar which carries a $100 000 prize.  I'm sure it could have been mine in that year.

I/O Who does tend to waffle on a little at times.

[I/O]

Being a typically exuberant teenager at the time, I can now clearly remember riding my bicycle all the faster after the usual 30 km school bus trip on a cold West Coast, South Australian Winter afternoon.  Having just received advice of my eligibility for the State Show jumping championships, arriving home and throwing my school books to one side of my “Always Tidied by Mother” bedroom and thinking of nothing other than the fastest way to change clothes and reach the stables to commence my afternoon training session.

Looking back now, the two horses I was training at the time were remarkably similar in personality to my self.  Both intense, bold at times, nervous at other times and never to be defeated when set on a particular course of action.  One, having extreme talent and a very difficult character, whilst the other was less complex, both were useful and certainly a good match for me at the time.  Having spent 2 years of difficult training morning and night with the more talented one, I was now beginning to feel very much his master and enjoying the ability he showed every time I sat on him. 

Time being of the essence, with the afternoon sun beginning to fade already, I spent a limited time with the lesser of the two horses and all went smoothly as usual.

Having spent a considerable time trying to improve my style and technique, also knowing the feeling of the hard Australian ground as I had picked myself many times from the floor after yet another fall from this other very talented but shy and skittish animal, I stepped aboard with joy and confidence, knowing that finally I had gotten him to the stage of a serious assault on the State Championships.

The shear pleasure of riding an animal of this flexibility and power can only be fully understood by those who have similar experience.  I was almost beside myself during the early part of the session, as this horse could turn up to an obstacle from almost nowhere with a suppleness I had never before imagined, much less experienced.  To canter down softly to a wide square Oxer and be able to gently feed the reign only to feel him back up and then smoothly unleash the unbelievable power, to land like a cat and canter away to the next obstacle as if nothing had occurred was something which can simply be described as special.

So many years of practice and reading widely from articles written by the great European riders of yesteryear was now reaping a reward I would have never dreamed about.   

With the winter sun now fading fast and the steam clouds from the nostrils of my mount more evident by the minute, I was almost on cloud nine as I turned to meet the last line of obstacles for this afternoon session.  A beautifully balanced turn, I saw my spot instantly and softly sat a little deeper as he already had begun to back up in the usual way.  Facing a wide square Oxer and then five soft strides on the bend to a tall vertical, we eased forward to the base of the Oxer, relaxed and confident.

Little could I know that my innocent and excited teenage world of dedication, trust and confidence was about to change forever.  At fourteen years of age, a boy is bullet proof and although I was very much a thinker, next week or even tomorrow is a long time away.

The feeling of enormous power being unleashed between my legs on take off had me almost breathless.  The split second that exists between take off and landing can at times seem like forever, and I was prepared to enjoy in this instance. 

In mid flight, the strangest sensation of the animal between my legs changing from a volcano of muscle to something similar to a limp cloth could only be explained a few seconds later as I raised my self from the ground in extreme pain, with probably a broken shoulder, I looked in disbelief, upon a twisted tangle of tack and horse flesh lying on the ground dead from a mid air heart attack. No amount of teenage despair or tears could change the fact that for the first time in my life Mortality had become a Reality. 

Certainly in a remote Australian farm situation, the slaughter or animals is part of normal life and I was well used to this.  But this!!  My prized and loved animal dead!!  It took me but seconds to recognize a dead animal.  This I had seen many times.  Where others of my tender age would perhaps have lay crying on the ground and certainly the tears were flowing freely, I proceeded to un-tack him as best I could with the most empty and hollow feeling.  One, which I shall never, to my dying day forget. 

Even my father, a typically hard Australian Man of German extract was moved to compassion for me as I had never before seen.  He of all people, although quiet, probably was the one person who could fully understand the losing of years of work in a second.  Having fought droughts, fires and floods alike in the remote Australian rural areas, he was a man of wisdom and experience. He quietly said to me later that night, “It seems not” right now, but “There will be another”. 

I was, over the next hours and days to learn lessons which would serve me well through difficult periods later in life.  Although not often admired by others, I learned quickly to withdraw and find solace within and more importantly, through this, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!

Certainly, I continued my training schedule and competed in the State Championships, gaining a creditable fourth place in the final on a horse of less than adequate ability.  It was simply determination which saw me through this time, as I must confess my heart was not really in it to any great extent.

I was to ride and train many other interesting and talented animals over the next twenty years and finally wining a State Championship in 1988 was reward enough. Notwithstanding, I have never quite forgotten the ability of that particular animal and have always felt just slightly cheated that I did not realize his full potential, but memories are something nothing and no person can take from us.

As I now know, people and circumstances can at times seem to take great things from us, but our personal memories are something guarded strongly by that something which exists within.  When a teenager is driven to personal despair, often later they will develop as I did, an inner strength which leaves them somewhat distant in given situations.  Probably this is what the medical experts call character. Our personal memories, which we treasure so much, often form a large part of this character.

I believe quite firmly, children who grow up in the rural environment, are exposed to situations and events that their urban colleagues miss and these events probably mature them at an earlier age.  Perhaps at times this is not to their advantage, as often they miss the innocence of youth to some extent.  Certainly this was true for me…………………..

[Kuna]

Louie Thanks for the welcome.  All the best to you and yours for the New Year (Which it is already here)

I/O who realises the we Aussies only lead the world in about 1 thing.....time...!!

 ???   ???   ???   ???

Time and Cricket

 

[Vaughn]

I/O,

 Had to catch my breath to post this note of appreciation for
your rendering a heartfelt narrative as you did. Not to reduce
your outpouring's significance in any manner, could you at least
reveal the horse's name?

 My early lesson in Mortality was Margaret, who perished in a
fire when I was barely 10. It's a story I refrain from telling as
it was so painful, and her memory haunted me for decades as
I grew to realize just how a single life-changing event persists
in shaping our decisions, perceptions and value system.

 In a few paragraphs, you've told me more about yourself than many here could in a hundred posts.

Vaughn

[I/O]

Vaughn The post was not designed to be a "Tear Jerker" as such, but rather, part of the background to my earlier posts.  I consider myself a very average example of humanity and as part of my ethos of encouraging others to persist in their quest for a successful international relationship, I think it is perhaps helpful if some can find another with whom they can identify. Thus I have told a little of how one's experience can lead us to and sustain us through this process.

Thanks for the compliment BTW and the horse's name was "Navarjo" (Pronounced as spelt rather than the usual)

I/O

[catzenmouse]

I/O,

 I finally got around to reading this thread and want to say that I thoroughly enjoyed your story. Thanks much for sharing!

Ken (who's beautiful lady also took the long train ride from her hometown of Omsk to get her visa)

[I/O]

A chance meeting with a representative from the cosmetics industry due to the rearrangement of seating during a high end dinner hosted by the leading national company in my country, in honor of the suppliers throughout the year, upon later reflection, would result  in one of the most significant turning points in my thinking of other cultures and countries. This would in no small way effect decisions of an intensely personal nature at a later time.

Although my fellow nationals have, at times, I think somewhat ignorantly, been accused of extreme and widespread racism, I have always vehemently apposed such behaviors and attitudes.  My rural upbringing in the early part of my life taught me several things and not least of all is the time will come when you do actually need others to survive.  I have played a lone hand as much as anyone over the years and still have understood that I need the help of others from time to time.

One can never know where or when the need of another will surface.  Most often it is within a business or commercial environment.  During the mid part of the second course of dinner, enjoying the quality entertainment being provided by one of the countries finest classical musicians, as organizer of our particular table, I was encumbered with the responsibility of ensuring all continued to engage in pleasant social chatter.  No easy task in a situation where sitting the sit and talking the talk can be worth the value of one’s business during the next year.

It was barely noticeable when I received a tap on the shoulder and a very polite feminine voice enquired if I would “Mind awfully”, her joining our group and in fact sitting with me.  Of course I responded in the affirmative without a second glance and it was some moments after I had risen, drawn a chair for her, ensured that she was comfortable and begun to again occupy my chair, that before formally introducing myself, I noted the fixated stares of all others at ours, and other tables clamped firmly upon our new guest.

The chill feeling that you have gotten it completely wrong and committed some heinous crime is something that engulfs ones emotions instantly.  Experiencing this at the moment, necessity caused me to slowly if very slowly turn my attention to the subject of my so obvious mistake.  It would be a picture which would be long etched into my thinking.  I shall not easily forget as my gaze began to focus, the radiant beauty of the most perfect, extremely long and glistening black hair which was just a small indicator of the person to whom it belonged. 

It was some moments later as introductions were made haltingly, with eyes wide open and women becoming agitated with their partners instantly, I fully grasped what had just occurred.  The lady who had so eloquently joined our table was in fact the “Hair Model” for one of the worlds leading hair care product companies.   Her natural beauty was staggering to say the least.  I have mixed with fashion models from time to time and in fact my former wife modeled part time herself, but it had been a long time since I had mixed with anyone of either this natural beauty and elegance or of this level of commercial success in a cut throat industry such as international modeling.  I would need to be on my metal.

With a very dry throat, introductions were completed and I was wondering how on earth this lady had been left without a formal seat, why she was sitting with me and worse, what in the hell was I going to talk with her about.   I need not have worried, as within seconds she saw the situation and no doubt saw the ridiculous look on my face.  She moved with cat like speed as she delivered a telling verbal blow, which was to leave me completely speechless for some time.



With the gentlest hint of an enchanting Asian accent, she remarked, “You are Mat, yes”?  “You don’t know me, however I know you”.  The best I could sputter was a bald “How so”?  The response was even more telling.  “I have long been a fan of show jumping and I saw you riding some years back, was impressed and your name stayed in my mind”.  Ok, I had some moderate success in this sport, but was by no means a “world beater”, thus I was a little surprised by this revelation, but the next verbal was simply beyond belief. 

“I obtained a copy of the guest list for tonight, (1300 odd guests mind you) I always do this and I noticed your name, thus I requested a vacant seat be left near you as I was hoping to have some discussions regarding your sport”.  Where is that ever hoped for hole in the floor when one needs it most?  Of course this not only stunned me completely, but it also brought me under the microscope of the gaze of all others at the table.  The only up side was that the ladies who had, for the last few seconds being so obviously wishing to kill her, began to relax.

What to say? I desperately wanted to play the situation of my sports history down because, on a purely achievements basis, I was not in the same league with this lady and felt most inadequate.  My only strength has often been in such situations to resort to humor, thus I remarked, “Oh I am merely a has been”.  She bounced back with, “Just as I will be at some future time, probably at a much younger age than you”.  I was in love…!!!  Well in an amusing type of way for the moment.  This lady “Had It” whatever “It” is.  Style, grace, elegance, class and real down to earth no nonsense class.

Conversation ebbed and flowed back and forth and to my relief, within minutes she had engaged all at our table and I was able to pale somewhat in to the background, although from time to time I was called to answer her questions regarding some aspect of my former sport.  Not too difficult at this stage and I had begun to relax, feeling extremely lucky, having planned the evening without a partner as such, it was now obvious that when it came to award presentations, I would be accompanied by probably the most elegant lady in the super hall. Not at all damaging to a typical male ego. Such was the case and all round  congratulations for some acknowledgement of my company were received.  What an evening..!!  It would draw to a close now all too soon.  It was time for parting greetings and the group to disperse.

What came next paled everything during the evening into total insignificance.  “Mat”..!! “I live high end in Bangkok”..  “So what”..!! I thought for a second.  “Perhaps you would like to visit in the near future”? She remarked, looking more than a little intently at me for a response.  Again, I thought momentarily of that hole which might open in the floor and bring blessed escape.  As we ambled towards the lobby bar and sojourned briefly for a parting drink, discussions of my business and other commitments, basically excuses, were muttered and responded politely too.

Then, as I thought I had escaped by blurring all into polite conversation, again in that enchantingly direct way, she brought all back into sharp focus.  “Mat, you remarked that you are in the closing stages of selling part of your business, why don’t you, after that is done, take a vacation, I would love to have you in my country as my guest”.  Handing me her private card, she remarked, “Mat, this is a serious invitation, will you please accept and call me when you are free”? I was shot…!!!  Trapped, whatever one likes to term it, I had nowhere to go. What could I say? “Of course, yes it would be a pleasure” I lied.  “Lovely..!! I shall await your call and thank you for a super evening” was the response as she very politely caught both of my hands and kissed me on the cheek, turned on her heel and vanished.   I was sorely tempted to return to the bar for several very strong drinks…!!


As suddenly as this lady had appeared into my conservative and secure world, she was gone.  Fumbling in my pocket for her card, it revealed her in classic style.  Perfectly presented on the highest quality stationary and entirely organized, containing simply her name, address and phone number. Perfectly plain and no decoration.  I assumed a mobile or cell phone number.  I was later to learn otherwise.

The next months brought the hum drum of business dispersal and the usual rounds of meetings, lawyers, accountants and so forth.  From time to time my thoughts drifted to that evening and the events which took place.  I was completely perplexed as to the real nature of the invitation and as such generally tried to dismiss it.  An unexpected call came late one Sunday evening and of course it was none other than the lady from the dinner.  “You have not yet advised your date of arrival” was her opening line after usual pleasantries. This lady had not changed and she was certainly direct!!!
“I will advise in due course” I stumbled.  “Fine I shall wait” Click!  Again she was gone. 

What was it with this woman? My ego allowed me to flirt briefly with the notion she may have been interested in my personal company on a romantic basis.  Ridiculous was the logical conclusion.  Perhaps she had children who were interested in my former sport?  Ahhhhhh  now here was a logical thought I could grasp.  Regardless, I was recently divorced and not interested in a relationship, thus I became more comfortable. She was probably looking for a coach or some advice for her children or friends.

International travel thus far had been confined to a few trips to the United States and one to England, both English speaking countries with broadly similar demographics to my country.  A few basic enquiries with an agent seemed to provide most information I would need regarding Thailand.  As no time frame had been mentioned, I thought it diplomatic not to enquire and thus I arranged a two week return ticket.  I figured I could conduct what ever business was required and perhaps indulge a little tourist activity.

As my acquaintance so obviously knew that I had her contact details, I decided that it was high time I got myself onto the front foot with all of this.  Hitherto, she had been calling the shots and I was not particularly comfortable with this.  The decision was taken that I would advise her no more than 24 hours prior to my arrival.  Having done this, boarded my final flight from Brunei to Bangkok, I began to focus on what might await me.

Dan Juan (Spelling!!) airport in Bangkok is relatively simple to find a way through.  Immigration and customs people were polite and courteous.  I barely noticed the slightly tan skin and different features.  A very different story when I arrived in the meeting hall.  As I walked through that area and out through the gates, I was deaf with the screams from the myriads of local taxi drivers attempting to solicit my patronage.  For a few brief moments, I was repulsed at the crowd of brown faces gazing at me and demanding my attention.  I was new in a non English speaking country and I didn’t like what I saw at all.  In fact I hated it and was angry.

I am usually calm under pressure and although my blood pressure had risen dramatically, I was, fortunately able for a moment, to stop and asses my surroundings.  I hatched a plan to walk past the majority to the café I could see upstairs.  From there I would catch my breath and watch for a while before making a plunge into the sea of taxi drivers and hopefully somehow arrive to my final destination.  Then it hit me like a tornado. I was totally, completely and utterly racist.

It really took more than a few seconds for this to sink in.  Shocked and disgusted with myself, I had never allowed such thoughts to enter my head and would always hammer anyone who spoke this way.  I admit to shaking with my own disbelief.  I was, as I now understood, amongst the worst of the bad.  Completely hypocritical, preaching one thing and practicing another.

I needed these people much more than they needed me and I was in their country.  I was one of the group whom I had long despised.  A very poor start in this country and I was likely to be under much more pressure within the next couple of hours.  Fortunately I had the foresight to bring a selection of generic gifts, all of which were more representative of my country than personal as such.

Thoughts gathered and focused on the café upstairs, I began a purposeful march.  From nowhere in the crowd on either side, a burly Thai man in some kind of uniform appeared before me.  What now? I thought.  “Sir, I am your driver, please follow me”.  Not a bad line for a taxi driver seeking business was my thought and I gave him credit for initiative.  “Thank you, I am fine” was my response. As he turned again to insist, I could see much more than a look of disappointment in his eyes. 

In a flash, there was that perfect head of glistening black hair in front of me again above a perfectly manicured pair of hands in something like a “Prayer pose” which I was only later to learn is the formal Thai greeting.   This lady was fast!!!  I was on the back foot again and totally out of control.  I reached to engage in handshake, and before I could realize I was being refused, she remarked “Come, Mat! We don’t do that in Thailand”.

In the same gentle, enchanting and direct way, I was to be later, as I sipped green tea in the luxurious surroundings of her twenty second floor penthouse in one of the finest buildings this diverse city has to offer, given a succinct lesson in the various Thai customs I would need to observe.  I was now, desperately in need of some private space and time, not to mention a shower and fresh clothes. 

As I thought to pluck up courage to suggest this, again she was far too fast for me.  “Mat, I have no doubt you would enjoy some time to yourself, everything you will need is in the guest room and should you like to smoke, the balcony is quite safe but maybe a little hot.  I should like for us to go to a casual café’ bar later and I was thinking in terms of 7 pm, is this fine with you”?  “Yes of course” I retorted.  Starving and wishing for that coffee I had missed at the airport, I decided, a shower and a nap would get me by as it was now 3 pm.

As I walked into the guest room which was no less than most hotel penthouses, the smell of fresh coffee brewing was a taste of heaven itself, not to mention some fresh pastries and a basket of fruit.  Just what the doctor ordered for a weary traveler.  The room, or perhaps better described as rooms had everything and all was of the finest order. What was it with this lady?  I was not surprised by her living standards, but she just had everything arranged perfectly, nothing seemed left to chance and she was far in front of me at every turn.  I have never thought myself the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I can usually hold my own in most situations.  Not here.  I was way out of my depth and sinking fast. 

I sensed casual may not quite have had the meaning that some would interpret it too, thus I dressed middling and at 10 minutes before the hour I left the guest room.  My date for the evening, if I may use such a cheap description, was of course politely two or three minutes later.  What else would I have expected?  Protocol seemingly, does not know geography.


“Goodness Mat!! It is nice to see you again and I can barely believe you are here”.  This lady just had a way of making one feel very special.  There was nothing other than sincerity in her voice and warm eyes, which I was finally beginning to notice had just a hint of Asian feature. 

“Mat, I have not arranged a driver for this evening, I thought you might like to decide.  The café is some distance away and perhaps you would like to walk in the street a little first and then find a taxi”.  Something was changing I sensed.  “Yes indeed, I responded”.  “Excellent!! I am tired to be responsible for everything. Would you be so kind as to take me to dinner”?  In a short sentence she told me more about herself and her life than several pages in print could have explained.

Thai nationals rarely walk arm in arm and almost never hand in hand.  This much I had gleaned before arrival.  Why I had sought this information is anyone’s guess.  As we departed the elevator in the ground floor lobby, she slipped her hand through the crook of my elbow and clutched my forearm with her free hand.  I stiffened slightly for a second in surprise.  As we walked onto the street, something I guessed she almost never did, she clutched my arm more tightly and softly remarked, “This feels so good, where shall we go”?

She was serious and I realized she meant everything she said.  I was now entirely responsible for her and my safety and well being in her city because she had now given over to me to direct the evening as I saw best.  Humbling to say the least.  Suddenly I saw no Thai people in the street or in the taxis.  I saw people.  What a difference a few hours can make. 

I/O

[2tallbill]

Now we would wait for the bureaucratic process to take it’s course………………………………

Everyone has their own style of explaining their adventures. This one isn't bad