They Lord...

[groovlstk]

I've been writing to 6 or so women from Dnepr in anticipation of my arrival in mid-April. I've been pretty realistic, I'm 41 so I really would like to meet a women over 30.

So then today I find an email from this temptress in my inbox, evidently this is her first time lookin' for love, and she wrote that she's not happy with the local boys, who care only about her beauty (gulp) and don't treat women very well.

Good lord, I'm only human, how do NOT write back?

In reality, I'm being very cautious and I'm going to let this one lie, but man oh maneshevitz it ain't easy...

 

[dat5150]

groov...I have to say if that avatar is a recent picture of you, then you look to be about 18...meant as a compliment of course.

[deden]

lol, no it isn't!  good luck on your trip

[Todd]

Groov,

I wouldn't sweat the age difference.  I'm 37 and about 6 months ago became engaged to a 24 year old.  Her age range was 35-40 when she was looking, and she said that she wouldn't even consider anyone significantly younger than 32.  In fact, both of her serious boyfriends were over 30, and she thought that they were both little boys looking for a mother.

Since you are going to visit multiple women, why not include her?  If anything, you should have that significantly younger data point.  Also, 24 there is NOT the same as 24 here.  I wouldn't consider going out with anyone that age here; they are just too immature.  In fact, the age converter that I use for women is the following:

RW 25...AW...30  Biological clock is ticking...I need to get serious about marriage

RW 27....AW...35 

For men, I assure you that you do NOT look like a Russian man of 41.  I may look a year or two younger than I actually am, but in Russia, people typically guessed my age as late 20's.  When I met men my age in Russia, I was surprised at how old they looked, which probably has to do with all the excessive smoking and drinking since a very young age.

Hope this helps,

Todd

[TheArrow]

 For men, I assure you that you do NOT look like a Russian man of 41.  I may look a year or two younger than I actually am, but in Russia, people typically guessed my age as late 20's.  When I met men my age in Russia, I was surprised at how old they looked, which probably has to do with all the excessive smoking and drinking since a very young age.

Not all Russian men look older that they are. This is a matter of inheritance (to look younger or to look older), by the way. And not coz of drinking and smoking habits.

Where you were in Russia? You were in Ukraine, sorry. Do you think that only Americans go to the Gym or exercise regularly? Are there no Americans (men and women) who look older than they are?

[Todd]

Actually, I've only been to Belarus and Moscow, and I do think that as a group men look a bit older over there.  Smoking really ages skin.  In my age group, roughly 20% of men smoke.   I'm not sure what the percentage is in Russia, but it sure SEEMED much higher.  I also think that a greater percentage of people in the US go to gyms or participate in sporting clubs, but I could be entirely wrong about that.  What are other people's impression?  Are the somking rates higher?  Do people start smoking earlier in Russia?  Do they smoke the same amount?

Also, groov....I did a quick search on the person who wrote you, and she actually was the #1 beautiful women in her age range.   Are you sure her letter is sincere and not just sent by the agency?

Todd

[groovlstk]

Thanks guys. I may try to fit her into my schedule now, mostly out of curiousity, and I'll be sure to report back. One thing that rang my bell was that she's dressed very provocatively, although I know my impression is tainted by the fact that it's not common to see US women dressed like that.

Todd, I can only assume that her letter is genuine, as the agency manager knows I'm coming to their office on Apr. 16, but we'll see. It was pretty much a form letter, although this part was interesting:

Ukrainian men treat me like a doll. They are spoiled by women's attention and now they care our appearance only. I want to believe it will be the man who will be interested in my personality.

If she's sincere she's unfortunately got some hard truths to accept.

[TheArrow]

Ukrainian men treat me like a doll. They are spoiled by women's attention and now they care our appearance only. I want to believe it will be the man who will be interested in my personality.

If she's sincere she's unfortunately got some hard truths to accept.[/quote]Well....... Good luck. I  hope, you will  have a good trip. But do not forget about Greg's experience. Time will say.

[Fiorella]

Thanks guys. I may try to fit her into my schedule now, mostly out of curiousity, and I'll be sure to report back. One thing that rang my bell was that she's dressed very provocatively, although I know my impression is tainted by the fact that it's not common to see US women dressed like that.

When we discussed that girl who "is looking for a man of her dream" - she was dressed much more provocative, and no one had doubts.

P.S. I never trusted to agencies.

[TheArrow]

OMG! Agencies cheat, Angencies are not honest, Agencies this, Agencies that...

Guys, please, tell me - why are you all join these agencies with the perseverance of idiots (Russian figure of speech) instead of joining any website and looking for English-speaking, well-educated and pretty Russian, Ukrainian, Belorussian lady? If you are afraid of something - don't be shy and ask her. If you are afraid of visiting Russia, Ukraine, Belorussia without a help of an agency - this is nonsense. All problems can be discussed, the hotel will be booked, the taxi will wait you in the airport, the registration will be done and etc.... But you will save a good sum of money. Many of my friends here have invited their men without any help from any Agencies. And all those men are still alive  and all have already come back home.

[TheArrow]

Thanks guys. I may try to fit her into my schedule now, mostly out of curiousity, and I'll be sure to report back. One thing that rang my bell was that she's dressed very provocatively, although I know my impression is tainted by the fact that it's not common to see US women dressed like that.

American women are not dressed like Russian women coz they are ALWAYS waiting and looking for any HARASSEMENT around them. LOL

If she knows she looks young and sexy - why must not she be dressed sexy and stylish then?

[groovlstk]

OMG! Agencies cheat, Angencies are not honest, Agencies this, Agencies that...

Guys, please, tell me - why are you all join these agencies with the perseverance of idiots (Russian figure of speech) instead of joining any website and looking for English-speaking, well-educated and pretty Russian, Ukrainian, Belorussian lady? If you are afraid of something - don't be shy and ask her. If you are afraid of visiting Russia, Ukraine, Belorussia without a help of an agency - this is nonsense. All problems can be discussed, the hotel will be booked, the taxi will wait you in the airport, the registration will be done and etc.... But you will save a good sum of money. Many of my friends here have invited their men without any help from any Agencies. And all those men are still alive  and all have already come back home.

My conundrum is that I made travel plans back in January to a specific city (Dnepropetrovsk) because I was visiting a woman I considered my girlfriend at the time. We're now splitsville, but I couldn't change my travel plans. So it's not like I can browse through hundreds of free profiles of women throughout the FSU and pick and choose--I'm limited to a specific region.

Still, I've tried using some of the free sites but the response rate from the few women in Dnepr who posted ads has been spotty--I think they're overwhelmed by the number of men who responded to their ads.

[TheArrow]

Still, I've tried using some of the free sites but the response rate from the few women in Dnepr who posted ads has been spotty--I think they're overwhelmed by the number of men who responded to their ads.

Are you sure?

[groovlstk]

If you are afraid of visiting Russia, Ukraine, Belorussia without a help of an agency - this is nonsense.

I'm willing to bet that there aren't many places in the Ukraine that can equal the cold-sweat, adrenaline-inducing rush of riding the 4 or 5 train through the Bronx at 3 AM. Especially during the 90s.  Who needs the help of an agency to travel to as relatively safe a place as Eastern Europe?

[Todd]

I had to laugh at your Bronx train comment...I was thinking about a history channel program that commented how MUCH safer and cleaner the subway system became in the 1990's.  In general, I've been visited since the late 1980's, and I've definitely noticed a contiuous improvement to safety/cleanliness.

Also, to think out of the box...just because you are flying into Dnepr, why limit your search to just that city?  Why don't you write women throughout that region and see if you get any nibbles.  If something seems promising, ask the woman to take a train to Dnepr to visti YOU.  In fact, having that small hurdle may help to sort out who is and isn't serious.  (Someone who is not serious or is a scammer would be unlikely to come.)  Offer to reimburse for the train of course...  Also, try to schedule these dates early in your trip so that you can potentially visit these women for the day in their home town.  Bottom line:  extend your search within a 4 hour train radius of Dnepr and see what you get.

Hope this helps

[groovlstk]

I had to laugh at your Bronx train comment...I was thinking about a history channel program that commented how MUCH safer and cleaner the subway system became in the 1990's.  In general, I've been visited since the late 1980's, and I've definitely noticed a contiuous improvement to safety/cleanliness.

I've been using the NYC subway system for more than 20 years, and it's definitely improved since the bad old days when pretty much anything could happen. Outside of the crime and nuts, there are some genuine characters I'll never forget.

One homeless guy is legendary, I've only seen him once. He walks into a subway car and blows a saxaphone, the loudest, most hideous cacaphony you could imagine! After a minute he'll stop and tell everyone in the car that if they give him $$ he'll move on to the next car. Even normally unflappable NYers toss him some change!

Another infamous homeless guy walks around with an antenna attached to his head, tells everyone he's from another planet and his spaceship is damaged and he needs money to repair it.

[Bruce]

The Angelica network always had alot of women on their site from Dnepopretrosk.  They were reasonable and I got alot of responses when I wrote women on that site.  I do not know if they are on scam lists etc., but it is worth checking out if you are the type who likes to write prior to going over.

[anono]

hey groove, no disrespect intended but i hope if you come over here you learn which way to wear your ballcap. it might fly in the USA but it will not here in russia or ukraine. you will stand out for the american you are.

also, i am very familar with cindy agency. on the whole, i think they are a good agency but i have caught them red-handed sending me a letter from a woman who i know did NOT initiate the letter. i had already met her when i was in krivoy-rog. the letter was sent as if she did not know me and trust me, she knew me. when i asked them about this (anna and adrew) they just ignored it and i am sure they know i caught them red handed. on one hand, i see it as trying to drum up some business and interest. i am sure had i responded to her letter, they would have re-worded it to make it seem as if i was writing the first letter and not a response.

again, i want to say, overall, i think cindy agency is a good agency and they will take good care of you. but, i have to report the facts, you must use your own judgement and draw your own conclusions. (walter cronkite)

one drawback. i have learned over the past two years to try and limit the ladies i am interested in to ladies that know some english. it is a huge barrier and takes forever "getting to know" a lady when you need an interpreter. i will say, that most of these ladies know more english than they are willing to admit because they want to be better at it. also, one lady i was involved with for several months, she needed an interpreter for or first meetings, we used my laptop in my flat (with promtx, a translation software) for a week and after that. we did not need it. three months later she was an interpreter at on of jack's parties.

given the motivation, most of these ladies are very intelligent and can and will learn english given the opportunity.

[Fiorella]

[user=238]groovlstk[/user][user=238] wrote:

Still, I've tried using some of the free sites but the response rate from the few women in Dnepr who posted ads has been spotty--I think they're overwhelmed by the number of men who responded to their ads.

[/user]If you show me these women whom you contacted I may be can explane why they aren't so animated. Also it depend very much of WHAT you write them. What sites did you use?

 

[groovlstk]

I have to say that although I've heard many different sides to this issue, I'd have to agree with you. There's one woman from the Cindy agency that I'm in contact with, she has strong English and we speak on the phone every day. Because of this advantage I've gotten to know her best out of all the other women I'm writing to, and she's far and away the one I'm most eager to meet. Thank you for your advice, it's much appreciated.

[groovlstk]

 Hi, Fiorella. I've used this site in the past, where I met my last girlfriend: http://www.freepersonals.ru/  She told me that she was getting 50+ emails per day during the first week she ran her profile, although after that period the replies declined steeply. 

[/b]

[jb]

groovlstk,

I hate to tell you this, but you are going about this the wromg way.

Listen to the lady, she's trying to steer you right.

[groovlstk]

groovlstk,

I hate to tell you this, but you are going about this the wromg way.

Listen to the lady, she's trying to steer you right.

I find a lot of conflicting advice out there, even among men who are happily married. But by all means, I have no ego about this, anyone who can offer valid criticism/advice will have my undying gratitude.

[jb]

groovy, baby....

What the lady has been trying to tell you is that you can leave the agencys behind and find other ways to meet people.

You will need to go to some city for awhile and mingle with the natives.  Rent an apartment, get to know your landlady, meet her friends. Just about any woman over the age of 50 is a confirmed match-maker, they can't help themselves, they will introduce you to their single relatives. Hang out in the same cafe everyday for a week, smile a lot, ask girls for a date.

Do not be a slave to an agency.

[groovlstk]

thanks jb,

I plan on doing plenty of field work while I'm there, I'm not married to an agency (bad pun, I know). I have several dozen "I Love NY" refrigerator magnets to help me make local friends. It may be tough--in my part of the world we're taught to treat tourists with the same degree of respect as a used tissue, so I might be due for some karmic payback. 

All in all, I do take comfort in the fact that I have women who have agreed to meet me before I've even arrived, and in the month I've been writing to them I've been able to learn the rudimentary facts of their lives. Right now I have 10 days until I leave and I'm still working the free dating sites, so we'll see what kind of smorgasborg schedule I can put together.