When the Chase is over

[El Rock]

Since it's a man's thing , you know , the "Chase " .
How will you feel when it's all over ?
Run like hell  ? 

Do you find yourself  being difficult , settling on one lady , out of fear  the chase  could end  and you'll be committed  ?
You know , there could be a better one around the corner !!
What is more fun ,,,, the "Chase "  or settling  down  with the "Catch" ??
Or "Prize "  , define how you wish ???

Is it too much fun , the trips to FSU   and the  experiences   gained from it ??

Is the  "Chase"  is the most effort  you have put into anything
you've ever done ?

Just some thoughts .

No need to respond  .

Rock

[Kuna]

OK I won't respond...

[Kuna]

BUT...

I don't have fear of committment so won't regret getting to the point of settling down...

I wouldn't settle down if I thought there was someone better around the corner...

... and I'd hope that the trips to FSU would just be starting after I'd settled with one girl and she's settled here. 

I know what you're saying though but the chase isn't anywhere near as fulfilling as a committed relationship when you're ready for one.

I'm ready now.   

Kuna

[Turboguy]

Rock, I will respond.   When my chase was over I loved not having to write a bunch of women, not having to plan meetings and I have not missed "the chase" for one second.   It was just wonderful to put that all behind me.

[Bruno]

Since it's a man's thing , you know , the "Chase " .
How will you feel when it's all over ?
... out of fear  the chase  could end  and you'll be committed  ?

Only a fool think that the "Chase" is ending when you are committed and married...

Common mistake of several married men... they think that the "Chase" is over, that they don't need seduce own wife day after day... no more gift, no more flower, no more romentic trip or dinner, etc ...

The only positive thing when you are married or committed, is that you "Chase" only one, you wife... stop the "Chase" and she will maybe find a other on the side... maybe fill a divorce because you become no so much interesting and forget about her... women are wild beast, same in cage, they are dangerous... once captured, a woman ask a daily work, a never ending work, for keep her with you...

IT IS NEVER OVER !!!!

[Rvrwind]

IT IS NEVER OVER !!!!
Amen to that Brother Bruno!!!!

[vwrw]

 Did you ever think why the chase is so much exciting and attractive for many men? Any ideas why it is so?

[Mir]

Cause they are anticipating the pleasure

[joty]

The chase for men is the most exciting part.  But once the catch is made and reality sets in, the day in and day out grind of trying to make the relationships work it wont be too long till the men start chasing once again, only this time they have to hide from their wife.  This is to say for the man that has chased most of their life they cant give that up totally, oh they may do so for a while but that old person creeps back in it may be months or years but it will happen.

[vwrw]

Cause they are anticipating the pleasure

Mir, please explain what sort of pleasure you meant?

Joty, not all men cheat their women…at least in reality….who knows what they do in their dreams. 

[joty]

VWRW says not all men cheat
Sorry to disagree they all do, just not all get caught. LOL

[Mir]

Pleasure that comes from catching the prey or getting the prize.

[Turboguy]

I used to joke that there were two kinds of men.   Those that cheat and those who don't have an opportunity to cheat. 

I think in reality there are two types of people who cheat.   You have people who can't keep their pants zipped and will hop in the sack with anything that breathes on a seconds notice.   Then you have those who either married the wrong person or let their marriage fall apart and they find themselves in a loveless marriage with a stranger.   I think the first group is often the very young and the second group tends to have something more akin to a mistress.  In otherwords one partner with whom they try to find what is missing in their marriage.

I have a feeling and I have never seen this discussed, but I would bet that men with a RW tend to be more faithful than men with an AW.   Basically I think RW tend to know more about what a man really looks for in a marriage and do a better job of keeping him happy.   I am not sure that the same applies in reverse because of the GCG element and other factors.  Perhaps it is just because I can't picture a man with a RW having a reason or need to cheat.   

[catzenmouse]

I get growled at for my "other girlfriend" all the time. Of course she is 8 pounds, furry, and only says "Meow"...

[Kuna]

Cheating has nothing to do with the inadequacies of the other partner though men that cheat will blame it on this.

If a partner isn't fulfilling your needs in a relationship, fix the problem or move on.  There's no excuse for cheating. Hard to get out of the marriage??? TOUGH!  You've been a part of it becoming what it is!

Men that cheat are weak, and not nearly the stud they would like to think they are.

Marriage IS hard work and being married to a FSUW comes with as many responsibilities as it has when married to a Western Woman.

The initial feeling of elation will fade, and when it does both partners do have to work hard to keep the fire burning.  If it goes out and a man uses cheating to replace that feeling of excitement then he isn't replacing what's needed, he is brutally damaging his relationship with his partner AND his children.

I know of many men who cheat and they're almost proud of it.  I love watching them after the marriage fails because they're almost always desperate to settle down again.  It looks very much like somethng is missing inside rather than something missing in their relationships.

To say all men cheat is rubbish, but those that do are rubbish!

JMHO

Kuna

[Turboguy]

Nice post Kuna,

I think my only point of disagreement might be that marriage to a RW to me carries MORE responsibility but also MORE reward. 

I think in the real world though that people find themselves in a marriage with children but no love and they are afraid to venture out on their own.  You are one hundred percent right if the marriage is bad, get out of it, don't cheat.  Cheating is never a good option.

[Jumper]

joty-
That's silly at best.

and somewhat insulting, certainly not all men cheat.

I would hope any honourble man
has enough dignity and self repect to honour his wedding vows and
have enough respect for his wife to be faithful.

it isnt that difficult to keep the pants zipped?

if he wants to play the field,nothing wrong with that,
but  he doesnt have to marry and commit to vows.


For myself, i would never entertain the idea even,or even day dream about it..
i respect myself and my wife far too much.


the flip side is that of course i'm still alive,
 i'm married , not dead!
so will notice or appreciate a beautiful woman..
but that doesnt mean i would want to sleep with her. 

my wife jokes with me occassionallt asking if i noticed someone who "liked" me or flirted with me..

i always joke back..
what  the heck would i want more than ONE woman in my life for?

isn't  *one* trouble enough for any man?

 

[Jumper]

i guess i should add ,
thats a traditional view of marriage from a couple who both view it in the same  way.
and both agree thats how it should be, so it works for us.



it's understood other couples can have thier own arrrangements, agreements, and views on the subject ,
and that works for them as well.

[funkola]

I'm with you AJ! I do not cheat, never have. It is easy to be faithful if you respect yourself and the vow you have made. Cheating is sign of weakness and self loathing in my opinion. No true man would ever hurt a woman like that.

[Mir]

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry (Oscar Wilde)

[Muj]

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry (Oscar Wilde)

Mir,

Considering O.W. lost the love of his life to Bram Stoker, sounds of sour grapes .

[joty]

AJ be honest now If a man feels he is not getting the attention he rightly deserves, then he will justify his unfaithfulness because of that. You dont have to be married to cheat on your women.  To me if you are dating, engaged, married ect. you shoud not be still looking around like you are searching.

(this has nothing to do with the topic but)
I dont mean this in a mean way but want to ask you respectfully of course, why do you have a picture of you and your dog and not you and your wife.

[groovlstk]

joty-
That's silly at best.

and somewhat insulting, certainly not all men cheat.

AJ,

I've noticed that if a guy engages in a particular behavior that is considered immoral, deviant, etc.,  he'll often justify it by applying it to a larger group, as in "all guys do it." Guys who are married and cheating on their wives will adopt a moral relativist's stance and try to convince you that you are equally guilty for looking twice at a beautiful woman passing on the sidewalk as he is for playing hide-the-salami with his secretary. It's hogwash but it allows him to rationalize his behavior.

[Jumper]

Groov-
i've seen that syndrome  in guys i work with ..
*shrugs*

joty said:
 

AJ be honest now

anyone who knows me, knows i am painfully honest on these forums,, too much so at times actually.

If a man feels he is not getting the attention he rightly deserves, then he will justify his unfaithfulness because of that.

to be fair, and quite honest,
Ive never been in that kind of experience , so can not relate!
Every single long term (commited)   relationship ive ever had was great, physically and emotionally.
they never became long term,or mutually exclusive ,  if they wernt!
and if they had changed (as people ,and relationships sometimes do) i would have ended it quickly and without drawn out theatricvs or affairs.


there are too many fish in the sea to not find someone that is a good match for you.

as far as justifying an affair because of neglact at home..

i personally wouldnt do it.
Lots of reasons why!
self respect is one. respect for another person i cared about is another,, but there are many other reasons.

you should actually ask my wife how i am about such things.
she knows i would simply end any relationship that wasnt healthy.
i'm not  a patient person, if its not *right*..
and two people cant work it out after some decent effort on both partiers parts to do so..

shake hands end it and move right along!!
and i would move along very quickly.
no need to dally in someone elses life, or mess around, in the
in-between time.

in my mind , if in a mutually excliusive relationship,

to have an affair is a cop out to NOT fixing your own relationship, or not having the courage to simply end it.
and also a way to  hedge your bets and have something to fall back on, for people who need to have a safety net .

i dont need ,nor want, either situation.

its my own feelings, and i try not to  judge those who feel differently.thats thier own situation and worries!
*shrugs*

You dont have to be married to cheat on your women.  To me if you are dating, engaged, married ect. you shoud not be still looking around like you are searching.

i agree? and personall never looked around ,or fooled around,
 if i was seing someone seriuosly!
wether you want to call it girlfriend, significant other, fiancee or wife

(this has nothing to do with the topic but)
I dont mean this in a mean way but want to ask you respectfully of course, why do you have a picture of you and your dog and not you and your wife.

you can ask me anything.?
i seldom take anything on any forum seriuosly or in a wrong way.
life is to short .

as far as the photo./avatar

it was for amusment ,, and is in reference to a long running joke, of my friend jb's 

*men acting like they are going to the FSU to simply  pick out a puppy*


i dint feel the need to have us both in my avatar as there are already more photos of me and my wife here on this site, than there should be! 
plenty in the galleries and many more in variuos threads.
I figured folks were quite sick of seeing us, to be honest.

[joty]

aj lol about the puppy joke.  ok i am new here on forum band have  never seen you and you wifes picture,