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Author Topic: 97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife...  (Read 3642 times)

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Offline FSUrookie

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97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife...
« on: February 19, 2007, 06:59:54 PM »
I found this from a marriage agency on the web. I can't vouch for the agency whether good or bad, but this list of tips seems very logical with some solid advice, for the mostpart. In any case, some interesting reading...

97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife:

The search for a Russian wife usually begins with the chat to a friend or by seeing a comment in the newspaper. This is followed by some long and interesting searches on the internet. If you follow the right steps and take the time to understand the process you will be as successful as the ads claim – but for very different reasons.

Follow the advice above and we can assure you that your search will not only be pleasant but also successful. This journey you will undertake can lead to happiness we can only try to describe. Russian women can be a wonderful wife and mother. There are thousands of such women looking for their happiness. By using this advice you find such a woman.

1) All your hopes must be real. If you are a 65 years old man and you dream to meet a beautiful young blond with long legs, it can happen. However you must be a special man who makes her comfortable and gives her the emotional security she needs.

2) If you want a wonderful woman to fall in love with you, then you must in turn be a wonderful person. It does not matter if you are wealthy or what you may look like, if you are wonderful inside, the women you want will see it.

3) Always look for games that a woman may play with you. If she talks about very big love after a few letters or after your first call, you must wonder if this is normal. Such behavior is not common for a Russian woman but common for a scammer.

4) A woman who falls in love with you immediately can fall out of love with you immediately.

5) A woman cannot love you in 3 weeks or 3 months. She can like you in 3 weeks or 3 months. Only after spending some time with you will she know and you know if it is true love.

6) Is it possible to fall in love over the internet? Yes it is possible. This usually happens when a person creates a picture of an ideal person in their own imagination and falls in love with this “picture”. In reality the person will be different and in most cases the difference between the illusion and reality is enough to break hearts. That is why it is important not to wait too long to arrange a physical meeting. Remember, the love at first sight is a reality!

7) Russian women are not open about their innermost feelings, especially with a person they have never met.

8) Even if she absolutely adores you, she will never talk about it. Though in each rule there are exceptions.

9) Remember that the most beautiful women are not always the most attractive. Being attractive means having inner beauty. Be careful of this. If you get to close, too fast you can end up in a lot of trouble.

10) A woman will never change if her principles are wrong. No matter how nice a person you are, and how close you become to her, if she intends to scam you, she will. Many men make the mistake they can change a woman. Try not to be one of them.

11) On the other hand do not be too extreme in judging her. No one is perfect and she will have some imperfections in her character. Accept them if your heart says it is okay.

12) No matter how wonderful you are and caring you can be, there will always be some women in the world who will abuse this trait.

13) A woman who desires a family and happy marriage will not spend all her time in nightclubs and bars while she prepares for your visit.

14) If your lady truly loves you she will not do the following;
Go out at night when she knows you will worry about her.
Disappear for a few days for no reason except to say she is busy.
She will keep all her promises unless there is a reasonable reason to break them.
A woman who says she forgot you would call and has gone out with friends during this time is a bad sign.

15) Choose a woman who loves you for who you are. This woman will support you in your darkest hour and not just support you when you have money.

16) A wise friend will be able to tell you immediately if your relationship is real.

17) If you meet woman who has never met a foreign man before, she will react very differently from her true personality. Reserve judgment until she has adjusted and her true personality emerges.

18) A normal Russian woman will not make the relationship physical too quickly. She will need to know you are the right person before she opens herself to you.

19) The women you see on the internet really do exist. The difficulty lies in finding an agency which is reputable and in sifting through the scammers and real women. Russian women on the internet are young and beautiful. Their culture deems they get married at a young age.

20) We do not engage in mail order bride services. If you contact a women and win her heart, yes you can marry. You cannot marry her unless you win her heart.

21) Yes some Russian women are desperate to leave Russia. However, most are not. Russian women are highly intelligent and will not marry you unless they are made to feel secure in their choice.

22) Ghandi once said, “Be the change in the world you desire.” This is so true. If you want your women to love and respect you, please love her and respect her.

23) If you marry a women for her body, do not be surprised if she married you for your money.

24) Always consider the broader impact this process will have. Marrying a women is no light step. You will need to present yourself to show your true side. When she comes to your country, her life will change forever. She can never go back for stigmatisation and in many respects, such a separation will have the same emotional impact as a divorce.

25) You do not need to be a millionaire to marry a Russian woman, but you also cannot be a pauper.

26) The general age difference is about 10 years. However, the more charming and charismatic you are, the lass important will age be.

27) Countries that Russian women are mostly interested in: Western Europe, USA, Canada, and Australia. Many of them will also consider Japan, New Zealand, Singapore, South Korea, South Africa, Mexico, Argentina, and other Christian countries. Russian women avoid Muslim countries.

28) Follow the scheme: first letter - correspondence - phone conversations - personal meeting - receiving a visa for her (type of visa is dependent on the country) - marriage. Show commitment to the process and an understanding if she is not sure of what to do.
 
29) The most important anti-scam advice: NEVER send money to people you haven't met in person. If she needs money for emails, use email-forwarding services offered by a reliable agency. If you do not send money, you will never be scammed.

30) Do not fall in love too fast: 3-5 letters are definitely not enough to find out if you met the right person.

31) You will always get what you pay for. Free services can bring lots of pain and result in wasted time and emotions. Agencies' fees are negligible comparing to the costs of the whole venture, so find a good registered and well recognised agency to work with.

32) You can make contact with Russian ladies in one of 4 ways: (1) answering women's ads , (2) placing your own ad, (3) going on a romantic tour, or (4) a phone introduction.
 
33) Top Tier agencies sometimes do in-depth profiles of women. They introduce the woman from the perspective of her past and life experiences. The benefit of this is that you will understand much more about her before you write to her and you will understand why she thinks the way she does. The disadvantage is that due to the profiling, she will become very popular and receive many hundreds of letters.

34) Answering women's ads. You have the advantage that you already know some information about the woman, and have seen her photo. When answering women's ads your chance to receive an answer is about 1 to 3; your chance to receive a positive answer to your letter is about 1 to 5 (more if you are young, handsome and athletic, less if you are not good looking or more than 15 years older than her). So to secure 1 positive answer (assuming you meet her requirements).

35) Most reliable places to look for a Russian wife are specialized Russian dating agencies. These agencies are run by professional management teams.

36) Less reliable places to look for a Russian wife are large personals where anyone is invited to place a free ad: they do not screen their members and some ads can be bogus, or were placed by local Russian marriage agencies and you will have to pay a double fee: first to join the personals site, then to the local agency. Personals sites do not give you any contact details of the women; they only forward your email to her.

37) Selecting an agency: always include particulars (website address, owner's name etc). As a rule, a good agency will be able to accept payments by credit card, provide references, and have their business address and phone number listed on the website.

38) Decide what type of woman you are looking for: age, appearance, education, kids, personal traits and interests, etc. Write it down.

39) It is very important, that you could have contact to the manager of agency to which you can always consult. Workers of agency are interested to help you so in result they will have more marriages. And accordingly the big reputation. And certainly, if you will be pleased with service can recommend agency to your friends.

40) When looking through the profiles, check all the points, both positive and negative. Do not give into temptation of writing to somebody who is not what you are looking for: remember, you are going to live with this person for the rest of your life, and beauty is only skin-deep.

41) If you live in a small town, stay away from girls from capitals (Moscow, St. Petersburg, Kiev, Odessa, Minsk): women from those cities will struggle to adapt to a life in a small town.

42) Writing your first letter: it is acceptable to send the same letter to all women, but you will have much better results if the letter is custom-made to fit a particular woman's profile. You need to write 1-2 pages about yourself, you life, what you like and dislike, the place you live, your work, your education, have you been married previously and, if not, why (tip: because you were first busy with your studies/career, and when you have established yourself, you could not find the right woman - most were already married). Do NOT tell in length about your divorce or its reasons, and do not complain about western women and what you dislike about them. Do tell her why you decided to look for a wife in Russia and why you selected her ad. If there are some important things on your checklists that are not reflected in her profile, ask her about them.

43) Try not to make sexual innuendos in your first few letters. It is not appropriate for Russian women to be discussing sex in their first few letters with you. After you believe you know her well enough, you may bring up the topic.

44) Necessarily together with the letter send many your photos. Otherwise you risk to waste time and money as at personal acquaintance the woman can be disappointed in your appearance.

45) If you are going to visit the lady's country soon, or if you are ready to visit her country as soon as you find the woman you are looking for, tell her about it.

46) Before closing, tell her that you are waiting for her response and want her to answer in any case, even if she is not interested, just to let you know. Tell her that you will accept her decision, whatever it will be, and will not bother her again if she does not find you interesting, but you need to know that she received your letter and read it. (You won't believe how much more responses this short phrase will produce - it shows that you are really interested in her).

47) You MUST include your photo with the first letter: a letter without a photo has four times less chance at receiving an answer. The photo should be professionally done, in suit and tie - Russian people believe in formal photos for introductions. If you do not own a suit, make it in long-sleeved shirt and tie. If you do not have a tie, buy or borrow one. A good photographer will be able to make you look attractive even if you are not exactly the most handsome guy on the block.

48) If you have a great body, include also a photo in a muscle hugging T-shirt and blue jeans. NEVER send photos in shorts or without a shirt: it means disrespect.

49) Smile! If you look happy and relaxed on the photo, she will be much more attracted to you.

50) If you sent an email and have not received a response within 1 week, send another one - copy of the first one and include a few words on the top that you are really interested in hearing from her, and want to know if she received your letter.

51) If you did everything right, you will get some responses and will have a few correspondents.

52) Do not forget to congratulate your lady with her birthday, New Year, St. Valentine and Russian women's Day (8 March). You can send her flowers and/or candies through an international gift delivery service, or send a gift in the mail. Make sure that the gift is not taxable in Russia, or use the service that will pay the import tax and bill you (for example, UPS). The best gifts are flowers and candies (use gift delivery service); you can also send her a dress, something of gold or silver, or a toy for her kid (use courier delivery).

53) If you realize that some women are not what you are looking for, you should tell them about it and that you are going to stop the correspondence. Do NOT disappear without notice! It is very heartbreaking for a woman, and she will wonder for a long time what happened to you and if you are OK, worrying about you, isn't fair. If you started correspondence, have the guts to end it decently. Think how you would feel if the person you fancy the most just stopped writing to you.

54) Although there are many, many seriously looking for marriage on the internet, there are those who are young and looking for a friend. It will be a good idea to state your intentions up front. If she is just looking for a friend, it may be a good idea to find out about Russian from her or just move on.

55) If you decide on one woman and want to stop corresponding with others, tell your lady-friend about it to assure her you are serious. Most women have multiple correspondents because they are not sure if any of them will ever visit her. According to statistics, only 5% of men who write to women ever make it to Russia. Show her you are ready to visit her, and she will be yours.

56) Placing your own ad: the advantage of this way is that all women that write to you have already seen your profile and photo, and found you interesting. In this way you will receive in average 1 response to 2 letters sent (some women might decide you are not their type after learning more about you). The disadvantage is that you will also receive lots of junk and letters from women that you do not find attractive (which is exactly the same for women when they place their ads).

57) When placing your own ad, you will need a professional photo and self-description.

58) How to write a good self-description: look through the profiles of women that you liked - what kind of man they are looking for? Do you possess some of the qualities they want to see in their future husband? Those are the qualities you should include in your self-description.

59) All women want to meet men that are: intelligent, educated, kind, reliable, decent, honest, good looking, physically fit, interested in sport, love children and animals, even tempered, financially secured, generous and have a good sense of humor. They also favor men that are well read and well traveled.

60) All women dislike men that are: dishonest, uneducated, mean, unreliable, have bad tempers, are unfaithful, hypocritical, obese, lazy, broke, untidy, greedy, and stingy. Many women also dislike men with facial hair and long hair. If you have long hair, put it in a pony-tale when taking photos.

61) Free listings by large personals: those are the sites where anyone is invited to place a free ad. Since answering ads requires paid membership, and most Russian women do not have credit cards to pay the membership fee via Internet, you will not receive any letters from honest, sincere Russian women. Large personals are also actively used by scam artists since the ads are not screened.

62) Paid listings of specialized Russian dating agencies: in this way you pay once, and have your ad running for a definite period of time, or published in gentlemen catalogs or newspapers. Answering a paid ad will be free for a woman and receiving her response will be free for you. Agencies actively promote their gentlemen's catalogs; as for them they are the means of attracting new female clients. If you are thinking about placing your own ad, this is the most sensible option.

63) Remember that when you place an ad with your direct email address (online or offline) anybody can get this address and write to you. Some local Russian agencies sell addresses of eligible men to their female members. So it is wise to register a separate email account for your self-advertising campaign, and then close it down when you are done. After exchanging a few letters you can redirect selected candidates to your main email account.

64) You must answer every woman who took the trouble to answer your ad - remember how frustrating it is to send a letter and receive no answer, wondering if it ever reached its addressee? Create a signature that you will use for unsuccessful applicants, so you will save time. Some like: "Thank you for your nice letter but I have a clear image of my future partner and unfortunately it does not sound like you; you are an interesting woman and will find your true destiny" will do just fine.

65) After you have corresponded for some time, and asked her all the questions that are important to you, and received satisfactory answers, you should decide on the personal meeting. How long should you correspond before you meet? You need to exchange at least 10-20 letters before you consider a personal meeting, which usually happens in 2-3 months. If you communicate for too long, you might create an image in your mind, which will not correspond with reality. If you communicate too short, you can meet the wrong person. Make sure your correspondence is good (i.e. she does understand you and you do understand her) and all the important questions have been discussed.

66) If you visit her, you will be able to meet her family and friends and see the environment she grew up in. It will also make her feel secure, and ensure her you are serious. When visiting her country, you can also meet more than 1 lady during your visit.

67) You will need a visa to visit Russia and Belarus.

68) When visiting a woman at her home, always bring presents for her and her family: perfume or something of gold for ladies, spirits for men, soft or electronic toys for kids. According to Russian traditions, a guest is expected to bring presents, and it is rude not to bring anything. Those presents should be brought from abroad (Duty Free shops will do).

69) When visiting people while in Russia (ladies' family, friends etc) you are expected to bring a present. The best present will be flowers for the hostess and a bottle of good wine. If there are kids, buy them sweets. These presents can be purchased in the nearest street shop (kiosk). If you don't bring presents, they will decide you are rude and stingy.

70) At the festive table you are expected to try every dish (or most dishes) and drink when a toast is proposed.

71) Do not drink alcohol or beer if your lady does not drink. Never get drunk.

72) Do not comment that something is expensive: Russian meaning of the word "expensive" is rather absolute (I do not have money to buy it) than relative (this item is overpriced). If you do not want to buy something, just say so "No, we are not buying it" but do not say you are not buying it because it is expensive.

73) Counting money during the courtship is considered very bad manners in Russia. It does not mean you should buy her everything she asks for: a decent woman will not ask to buy her expensive things, and the one who asks is a gold digger - dump her immediately. But a woman will expect you to buy her drinks and meals when you are together. Do not let your lady go hungry!

74) Never Ever tell her you will be going to visit other women on the trip. Yes of course many men go on romance tours. But that is different. If you are not going on a romance tour, but rather on your own, it is best to just tell her you have come to see her only.

75) You must discuss the future of your relationship before you leave. If you do not discuss it, she will feel insecure and offended.

76) Going on a romantic tour. Most men enjoy the tours immensely, and describe them as "The most exciting adventure of my life".

77) The advantages of the tours are that you can meet a real person face to face, and see for yourself what she really is and looks like. The disadvantage is that only women from the same city will usually attend the party, and also if you are shy by nature, you might not be very successful.

78) Usually there will be 3 days of socials (different women attending the event every day), and you will have 7-10 days more to develop the relationship started at a social or that you established through correspondence prior to your visit.

79) It is a good idea to develop some friendships before going on a tour through placing your own ad or answering women's ads.

80) Preparing for the tour is not complicated: take your best clothes (a suit and a tie is a must), and buy some presents for the women you will date (perfumes are the safest bet). Everything else - air tickets, hotels, excursions, transfers etc - will be organized by the tour company.

81) If you think you've met the right woman, and want to marry her, the right way depends on the country. Most countries have special visas: fiancee or spouse visas. Those visas are specially designed to allow foreign nationals to marry a citizen.

82) For USA it will be fiancee (K-1) visa that you should apply for: it is a special non-immigrant visa given to people that intend to marry. To receive a fiancee visa you must prove that you have met in person before (4-10 "romantic" photos together, air tickets, hotel bills, tickets to concerts and other activities you attended together, etc), and that you have an established relationship (include copies of emails, envelopes/letters, postcards, phone bills, etc). You both should be legally free to marry (not married at the moment), and your fiancee should not have a criminal record or dangerous disease (HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, syphilis etc). You need to have a yearly income of more than 125% of the current poverty level (more than $13,500). Only USA citizens can apply for a fiancee visa; permanent residents are not eligible for this visa and should marry outside the country.

83) Unmarried children of fiancee visa holders under 21 years old receive visas K-2 (no separate application is required, visas are issued automatically).

84) Since 2001 spouses of American citizens (if you married at her country) are eligible for a non-immigrant visa K-3 (their children for visas K-4), which take a shorter time to process than immigrant spouse visas.

85) For Australia it will be prospective marriage temporary visa (subclass 300). You will need to demonstrate that you and your fiancee met in person, that your relationship is genuine and you intend to marry and live together as spouses. You will need to provide the range of documentation to prove that your relationship is established and genuine (letters, air tickets, tickets to concert and other activities you attended together, phone bills, photos together and photos of the engagement, etc - the more documents you present, the better). You will also need to provide assurance of financial support for your wife to be, so the migrant will not rely on any Government form of support. You must be engaged to be married and wish to marry in Australia within 9 months from the date of issuance of the visa. Both Australian citizens and permanent residents can apply for a prospective marriage temporary visa.

86) Children of prospective marriage temporary visa applicants under 18 years old should be included in the application and will receive visas to Australia together with their mothers.

87) If you are legally married to an Australian citizen (marriage in your country or any other foreign country), you are eligible for a spouse migrant visa. Dependent children of spouse migrant visas applicants should be included in the application and will also receive visas, if the mother's application is approved.

88) For South Africans you could send a personal letter of invitation to your lady to receive a visa. If you are honest and provide the embassy with the correct details, then they could approve your application within a few days. It is best to apply for a 3 month visa. When your lady comes down you can spend some time to get to know each other better. You can then file for temporary residence and later for permanent residence. All that is required is proof of income from the sponsor and proof of cohabitation.

89) Generally, the better your financial situation, the easier you will get the visa for your fiancee. It will also help if she is a high class professional and holds a degree.

90) You can also decide to marry in Russia, and then apply for a spouse visa for your wife. In the case of Russian marriage, you will need to produce a legal document that you are free to marry, certified document of your legal address, birth certificate, divorce certificate (or death certificate) if you were married before, and your passport. All documents, except for the passport, should be legalized, notarized, and have a copy translated to Russian by a certified translator.

91) Most women moving to foreign countries are worried about being completely dependent on their husbands. It is humiliating for a woman to ask money for purchases every time, when she is used to working and having her own income. First months after her arrival she definitely will not be able to work because of the problems with language. The best idea is to open a bank account in her name where she can have a debit card, and every month put some money on this account ($200-300 a month will be sufficient; if your lady had higher income in Russia, you should compensate her former income). Do not ask how she spends the money and do not check her statements. Tell her about this arrangement before she arrives.

92) When your fiancee received her visa, buy her return ticket, so she is not worried sick that she will be stuck with you if you are not compatible. Everything that makes a woman feel secure is beneficial for your relationship. You will be able to receive a partial refund for the non-used part of the ticket, if it was purchased in your country (you pay at home, and she will be able to pick up the ticket in the office of the air company at her country).

93) Adaptation: when she arrives, don't be surprised if she is not very affectionate and does not seem very happy. Please understand she had to leave her country, family and friends behind, and this makes her feel sad. She is unsure if everything will work out for you and her. The process of receiving the visa can also be very stressful and frustrating, and she may simply be tired. Let her rest and relax, and in a couple of weeks she will be a different person. Be kind and patient with her.

94) Things that Russians are not used to: asking "How are you?" when meet (they only say "Hello" in Russia, then go ahead); saying "Thank you" for any help or service, especially at shops; smiling without a reason; buying groceries only once a week; wearing street shoes at home; the wedding protocol; credit cards and checks; paid medical aid; insurance policies; private pension funds. Explain to her everything in detail - she will hesitate to ask.

95) Encourage her to spend as much time as possible with other people. Ask your family to ask her for help in choosing gifts for Christmas, arranging a birthday party, babysitting etc. Ask your church if they don't need help with some projects. People should not offer to help her - she will decline; they must ask her to help them.

96) Sign her up for ESL courses - this way she will meet other people whose English is not perfect, and will not feel too bad about her own poor English. As soon as her English improves (usually within 6-8 months), she will become much more outgoing and sociable.

97) The process does not look easy, but by following our advice above and just following your heart and common sense, it will become a reality.

www.yourrussianlady.ck.ua/advice/advices.html
« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 07:02:53 PM by FSUrookie »

Offline BillyB

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Re: 97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife...
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2007, 07:55:21 PM »
They give more realistic advice than most agencies do. Near the end they give a sales pitch by saying how great tours are. It's business, I don't blame them.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline catzenmouse

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Re: 97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife...
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2007, 05:04:19 AM »
I didn't read every tip but scanning through there are some good nuggets of information here. Another site for those that are interested (which was posted by a member over at Planet Love) is this one:

 http://russianwomen.wordpress.com/

 which is written by a man living in Russia. I've read through a bit of it and he has some good observations along with some quirky thoughts. Entertaining read overall.

Ken
"Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal."
-- Louis K. Anspacher

Offline Erwin

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Re: 97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife...
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2007, 05:41:09 PM »

Offline Vaughn

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Re: 97 tips to finding a REAL Russian wife...
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2007, 07:56:12 PM »
   As far as I'm concerned, E, that March '05 post of yours was
one of wisdom, especially the culture and language suggestion.
Anybody who can learn to speak Russian even half-assedly will
see many of the "barrier" problems for which one resorts to hiring
a helping hand - reading signs, conveying thought,
finding one's way, simple coversation, hell - GOING SHOPPING
without a crutch babysitter....  much of it goes away, not to mention
the doors that open with self-dependence. I remember that wedding
you two had stumbled upon - and within an hour, the wedding party,
all strangers, had you proposing toasts, joining in their joy...  you
cannot beat the path seldom taken. It all begins by learning the
Cyrillic alphabet and grows from there, if one chooses to apply oneself.

Quickie lesson for a guy approaching storefront doors:

ОТ СЕБЯ  (from yourself) = PUSH
К СЕБЕ (to yourself) = PULL

Heck, it's a start. Learn those and you won't look like
the fool who guesses incorrectly.

   I was never a "guide" kind of man. Too restrictive for my blood.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2007, 08:05:26 PM by Vaughn »

 

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