Age difference and country where wife is from.

[lindochka]

I didn't vote because I'm not married yet. I'm also a woman so I'm not looking for a wife, and my guy is from Belarus rather than Russia or Ukraine.

But I do happen to be the older half of the couple, by more than a year or two. Is it money? My guy has never asked about my income or resources. A green card? No time soon -- looks like I'm headed there to live.

As for children, I'm a very lucky woman because I'm getting a great guy and two smart and adorable little sons in this deal.

Not the typical poster or situation here, I know. Just thought this particular angle on Western/Eastern European relationships might be interesting to some.

BTW, I liked those "perforated elliptoids" (and snagged the graphic).

[TexasBoar]

"perforated elliptoids" sounds like a new medical condition.

I'm a little bemused that anyone, in this day and age, wouldn't recognize a yin/yang graphic.

~Boar

[Bruce]

28/34 men married to FSU women 11 years or more younger then them on this board.  Even if you throw out a few on either end as phonies (people who should not be voting who do) the numbers tend to speak for themselves.  I urge more married men to vote. 

The stories about fat disgusting American women marrying guys of color are just down right repulsive.  In my world, a woman would be forced to undergo addmittance into a psychological institute prior to those things happening. 
[Edited: personal attacks area against the TOU - mod3]

[jb]

Gotta chuckle over that one Bruce.

A long time ago when we were waiting for the K-3 visa I spent some time on the Visa Journey site.  There were several American women on the site, (don't know if they were fat or not), but they all got scammed or had the crap beat out of them once the RM got settled in.

[KenC]

Bruce,
You wrote:

Who are the three guys married to girls greater than 26 years from Russia and how long have they been married?  These guys must have their sh*t together

Thanks for the compliment and it is going on 8 years.
KenC

[mspanky]

Bruce,

 This is interesting. From a guy's point of view the older gals are not my cup of tea either. But it sounds a bit racist and prejudgemental to claim all of the Egyptian guys are terrorist and the latin or Caribbean men are black so therefore bad and women should have their heads examined for being in a relationship with them.

 Truth in on the age camp a majority of young women would think the same about another young woman marrying a much older man. She is either desperate or needs to have her head examined. Is that right?

   I'm not gonna say all of these marriages to older gals are bad. But a majority of the men and women who marry very young folks do it for shallow reasons.

   There are extremely few older men fit ,relatively attractive and financially secure who can maintain a large age gap as I  aimagine only an extreme few older woman can too. So though these relationships can be suspect there can be true sexual attraction and love.

   Looking at things from a man's point of view with an older gal. it's easy to say "What the hell"? Just as some young gals have come here looking at relationships with older men and ask "What the hell"? But just looking at the older gals as potential sickos and looking at the guys doing the exact same thing as someone who must be special shows a very chauvenistic view. Everyone as they get older wants to maintain a bit of youth, Men abd females are much more physically attracted to younger,firmer bodies than older ones. Is it smart to think you can marry the young bodies and she will live happily ever after? For a minority Yes. For the majority NO! KenC has clearly pointed that out numerous times and I agree.

[lindochka]

[...]Personal attack removed. - mod3)

I do so appreciate your obvious concern for me, Bruce! I assure you that I'm at least as real as you are, and I daresay I've spent a great deal more time -- both with my future husband and in Belarus -- than the typical poster here has spent, either with his future wife or in her native country.

Unlike many posters at these kinds of boards, I've traveled/stayed extensively in Belarus over the last several years because most of my living relatives are there. I'm not making plans with someone I met via an agency, online, or on a romance tour. We met through family members and we were acquainted for several years before becoming a couple.

Nice of you to perpetuate MOB agency stereotypes about Slavic men, although I confess that have a hard time applying them to the ones I know or have known in RL -- like my grandfather, uncles, or cousins. I guess personal knowledge of real people interferes with sweeping generalizations. I'm sure you didn't really mean to be insulting, though.

Now you're probably aware that a US citizen can't obtain a green card for a family member who isn't living in the US. Since I'll be living there (as noted in my prior post) I won't be sponsoring anyone for permanent residency here. (I guess you were just so caught up in your assorted preconceived notions that you missed that.)

As for "babysitting," I guess you and I just have a different understanding of blended families and what's involved in step-parenting. Luckily, the relevant babushka (my future MIL) and I are on the same page about all that. Good thing, because I'll be in grad school!

You've encountered a whopping three AW on chatboards who had bad experiences with FSUM and you're an expert on the subject. Chudo moe! I wouldn't presume to generalize about GCGs, mules, and the like based on what I've read here -- must be a chick thing.

[Captmonk1]

Wow great post lindochka!!  You can give as much as anyone it seems! 

I voted the 11 to 15 even though it's only really 10 1/2.   

Brad

[William3rd]

Since we have moved over to American WOMEN and foreign men now. . . . .

I see the AM in three camps- Living abroad and getting into a relationship the old fashioned way/meeting somebody on vacation/introductions and internet.

I have had about a dozen or so of each over the years.

The living abroad cases were women in the Peace Corps, language instructors, overseas schools or churchs or professors. ALL are still married and having babies, etc, etc. The men were from several countries including Russia, Brazil, Argentina, Japan, and South Africa.

The second bunch were AW vacationers who met men while on vacation- all except ONE man were ME men who working in hotels throughout the Mediterranean. Of those that married, ALL are now divorced and the divorce occurred right after the male got his . . . can you guess?. . . . status. . . .

The final bunch met on the internet or through personal introduction by relatives and friends of the alien. Except for one from India and one from England, the rest were ME men. The Indian and English guy are still married, having babies, etc. The ME men all divorced their wives right after they. . . .got. . . their. . . I am sorry, I just cant go on. . . . too sad.

my 50 kopeks worth

[siberia]

Well to second Lindochka, I didnt vote either because I am an AW married to a RM and there did not seem to be a selection for that. If there was, I am already married for 8 years, to a guy who is younger than me.
William, i must say you hit some nail on the head. All the AW I know who are married to RM or UM met them in a more, shall we say, natural way, thru work, thru friend or relative, etc. and are married for some years, with children etc, some semblance of normalcy, and no thoughts of divorce, even after GC or even after Citizenship,can you imagine???

[Kuna]

WOW... the mirror image of ourselves.  Western Women marrying FSUM...  I want these women to stay around and contribute to RWD even though it might appear not to be thier natural domain.  Different perspectives would be very interesting!

Kuna

[Bruce]

Amazing how a poll of our board clearly showing that the majority of men marry FSU women eleven years or more younger than themselves brings out the dregs of the poster world.  Who the h&ll cares about bit5hes marrying men from the FSU younger than themselves?  The poll is for men and there is no need for the bit&hinskis of the world to butt in.  Outliers, sure they exist.  In fact, I am very happy to hear that women sometimes have to go through the BCINS process with their "spouses."  The same goes for third world men of color marrying American women.  They are all outliers whose parents I feel sorry for. 

Linda - "I did not vote because I am not married yet."  Sorry I missed that in your initial post and welcome to the board.  Yet, you talk as if you are married?  Why even chyme in at all?  I believe all you want to do is obscure the poll.  Why don't you do something positive and help men seeking wives from Belarus.  Let us know some information about Belarus.  Let us know the best restaurants, best hotels, best guides and why they are the best.  Let us know how you fly there, your experience with customs, how you navigate the transit system, how you obtain flats.  We are a board which helps out guys looking for their better half in the FSU.  Its nice that you found a Belarusian man with two children and you are enjoying the relationship.  If you can not bring any more information to the table than you found a guy who is into you that is a few years younger than you from the FSU, what is the purpose of your visit to this board?

Of course there are plenty of good men in the FSU.  My N of three is just that an N of three - better then your N of one, which never made it the USA and is not even married.  Let us know when you are really married, for how long, when you make it Stateside and how you obtained passage for your Belarussian man and his family.  We would be happy to hear the trials and tribulations of your K-3 visa process. 

Ukraine / Russia - the majority of western guys are marrying women eleven years or greater younger.  That is the poll of the board.  Gals, sorry strong American men have the smarts, guts and gusto to go out and find the best wife for them.  The world is a big place and successful men meet, marry and have happy marriages with younger women from the FSU.  Sorry to break all your bubbles gals.  Now, go do something about yourself then crying us a river and manipulating the system to make things difficult for men.

[Jumper]

Bruce stated-

Ukraine / Russia - the majority of western guys are marrying women eleven years or greater younger that is the poll of the board.  Gals, sorry strong American men have the smarts, guts and gusto to go out and find the best wife for them.  The world is a big place and successful men meet, marry and have happy marriages with younger women from the FSU.  Sorry to break all your bubbles gals.  Now, go do something about yourself then crying us a river and manipulating the system to make things difficult for men.

Bruce,

boy i guess you really TOLD them huh?

feel big and manly now? lmfao!

i have no idea what your problem is with AW ,married or dating a foreigner, chiming in on this board ,on ANY post or thread about thier experience .
both women replied  well and respectfully.
and were not disruptive, or effecting the poll in any way.

you should show them the same respect, that you expect.

if you personally find thier replies of little use , fine! ,
dont read them ,or hit igniore..
other posters here would like thier input..

Childish name calling and being belligerent ,for no real reason,
seems to indicate you have some position you feel the need to overly justify or defend,or overcomponsate for.

An AW can easily have the same interests and reasons for
marrying abroad as yourself or the *majority* here

'siberia' is a perfect example ,
and certainly isnt any more of an *outliner* ,
than the MEN involved in MOB in general..

it's extreemly ironic you would bring that topic up
since both womens situation is far closer to
what the world vierw of  normal relationship and dating is, than the MAJORITY of men here.
who would almost define the term *outliners* in the contect of normal dating and marriage.

For throwing out stereotypes ,to situations you have absolutely no idea of,,
getting slapped  with some facts of thier situations,
then backpedeling that these women have no right to speak "here" anyway..???

You come off as the perfect bad stereptype of a MOB male.

You may be completely different,
but you sure don't show anything honourable or respectable in this thread.

Since you care little about the AW posters,
and are soley interested in FSU women input ?

How do you think any RW reading this would think ??
 
i'm positive they are thinking.. *my! what a catch*


and you feel *cough* sorry for certain peoples families?

amazing.

[Bruce]

AJ - What is their point if only to emphasize an outlier?  Why do the feminazis seem to come out of the woodwork when a spade is as close to being proved a spade as one can get? 

AJ - What is your reason for defending trolls?

[Jumper]

Bruce,
neither appear in anyway, to any average reader or poster,
 to be feminazis or trolls.

lets see? one is  long term married with children
and simply stated her circumstance.   

the other dating , and simple related the circumstances of her situation.

neither pointed any fingers at men going thru this process..

Married women with children, and women intending to marry with children...
both whom met thier significant others thru family and friends..
and seem to have quite normal relationships and family values..

yeap feminazis! ??? every last one!! LOL

hey ,you may be clarvoiyant , and they may eventually
turn out to be feminazis and trolls??
but nothing they posted in this thread points to this at all..

and much of what you posted screams insecurity or some issue that  i can't imagine.

not too many people could  take anything these women posted
here,
and turn it into any excuse to use the terms
"these bitches" "feminazis" "trolls" blah blah blah.

at least let someone post something trollish ,
before blasting them ,and thier families ,with personal insults.


i'm telling you , your replies in this thread look bizarre,
don't believe me? ask any of the RW you admire and respect.


i'm not defending trolls,
i am INTERESTED in hearing what appears to be two well spoken posters take on thier own situations.

one thing  i am NOT interested in ,
is reading insulting rude BS ,that had no basis in reality or facts..
just because you have some preconcieved notion of those posters.

if they were RW posting the exact same circumstances,
in the exact same words..
 you wouldnt have been rude or insulting, nor even opened your trap.

you absolutely  would not have jumped in feet first, guns blazing, and insinuated that a RW was moving here to be a babysitter for her AM's children ,while he went around nailing everything..etc..

thats a fact,
so define a  troll?

[Bruce]

AJ - thank you for bringing more attention to this thread.  The more eyeballs that see the relatively clear statistics of this board the less likely we are to have the "appropriate age threads" we go through every couple of months.  It sounds like the poll is striking a raw nerve in you?  Is there any particular reason for that?

AJ- the only really odd post is yours. 

AJ - Just to remind you, the name of this discussion board is:  "Russian Women Discussion board."  The title of thread is:  What is the age difference between you and your wife and what country is your wife from?   

AJ - Do you see anything in the title of thread that talks about age difference between you and your husband?  I think not.  For those kinds of polls you are welcome to visit other boards. 

"i'm not defending trolls,
i am INTERESTED in hearing what appears to be two well spoken posters take on thier own situations." 

Then, AJ - please ask them to introduce themselves on their own thread.

Why this thread? 


Your interested, I'm not - so what.....................they are free to post and I am free to respond, as are you.  You choose to attack me personally.  You are welcome to do as you please.  You are welcome to your opinion and I am welcome to mine.  Please do not try to tell me what this thread is all about or attack me for mildly asking the trolls to fish in other waters. 

Define a troll................hm, posters who enter the board, usually infrequently, to  present one issue only, which is contrary to the long standing discussion or theme of the board. 

Said American women just happening to bring out their "situations" which tend to contradict the poll of members of this board (who may themselves be outliers just for going to the FSU and marrying a girl to start with - but that is a discussion which merits its own thread) is indeed trollish behavior. 

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it probably is a duck.  When I hear hoof beats I think horses.

When those particular "female" posters chime in repeatedly on threads which actually give positive information for posters then I'll start to believe they are real.  Until then, they contribute nothing, as does your take on this thread.

Again AJ - what is the raw nerve that I hit in you?  Something must be hitting close to home.

[mspanky]

 Bruce you sound just like those Feminazi's you don't like. They stress  how men searching for MOB's are sick ,abusers and desperate . prompting IMBRA. Obviously they have issues as they lump every AM in the same bowl. You are doing the exat same thing the hateful feminist do. You are lookimng at a group and saying they are all alike and have isues.

   A minority of young women prefer much older men. A minority of young men prefer much older women. It's not that RW like older men. It's because there is little choice. I just finished looking at a video of a FW who divorced her American husband 20 years older. When asked what she looked for in a man,she said cultured,intelligent, nice lips, handsome face 5-10 years older. That's quite a normal answer for one her age,but totally opposite of who she married as she admits as soon as she hit 18,she wanted to come to the U.S. but her VISA was denied many times. She met an older AM who wanted to marry her and so she got what she wanted.

[BC]

Just ran across this thread and am happy I only had to skim 3 pages rather than 20.

Between elliptoids and Egyptian men I guess anything goes.

I voted "Between 16 and 20 Russia"

One thing I have noted over the years is that regardless of sex or race, the search for youth is on.

I'll be the first to admit that the thought of a sexy young bride was quite appealing.

One thing we men tend to forget (or never learn) is that there is no great difference between men and women when it comes to sexual preferences.  Just as many older women lust after young men as older men lust after young women. 

In the end though the only relationship I really care about is my own..  I am not going to loose any sleep over what some AW does with Egyptian men nor what AM do with young RW..  It's their business not mine.

Make my day... just try.. 

[Mir]

'One thing we men tend to forget (or never learn) is that there is no great difference between men and women when it comes to sexual preferences.  Just as many older women lust after young men as older men lust after young women.'

The only difference is that there is a much higher number of young women who are willing to enter into a relationship with a much older man then young men willing to fulfil the desires of older women, I wonder why?

[jj]

I can't vote. Not married ,but am  engaged to wonderful Russian gal.  Hope K1 approved by June. Darn California center-slow, slow.   I am almost 20 years older. I just turned 60 and she 40.  Both in our prime .  We both know what we want and the relationship is great.  I think when you find the right one, and they know you really love them, they will stick by you and try to make the marriage work even more. Sometimes I have to pinch myself.  I will come vote after we are hitched    Turboguy , you are lucky to have vermont center!  jj

[Jumper]

LOL Bruce!
 spin things however you want.
you posted this poll.
and it was quite specific.
but oh my goodness ! yes!
 there will be times in most threads that they do not stay entirely on topic..
but it can be considered relevant?

dont like it?
there is no need to resuilt to personal attacks,
rude remarks ,and insults.

lindochka stated:

As for children, I'm a very lucky woman because I'm getting a great guy and two smart and adorable little sons in this deal.

Not the typical poster or situation here, I know. Just thought this particular angle on Western/Eastern European relationships might be interesting to some.

WOW batman! she posted something WAY out there huh?

you replied with all kinds of rude BS about her future husband off f**king everything in sight, and called the women posting biatches etc.
I dont think i need to go back and quote you ..??

considering the bolded part of this terribly offending off topic post in your thread,
i could EASILY see how you would overreact , cuss ,swear, insult etc...

as far as personally attacking you.
I dont feel i attacked or insulted  you,
i just pointed out the strangness in your overreactions to what appear fairly normal posts.
and asked what you could be thinking,,

i did not call you a biatch, or a duckhead..despite your quacking.

as far as the specific NAME the poll/thread ..
sorry if folks might post about thier husbands age..
heaven forbid it moght be relevent..especially if they are from the FSU.

as far as the boards main topic of discussion..
i think Dan would agree that AW posting about thier experiences of marriage or dating RM would not be so far off topic..
quite relevant, and likely interestingf to many posters here.

yes the AW could start another thread and i hope they do!!
but thier input certainly did not disrupt your preciuos thread nearly as much as your own flaming of the AW posting.

if you want to be all pissy with everyone including me..
for pointing out the obvious..
then i'll use your own rheteric-

if it acts and posts like a duck ,
i'll call it out as one.


as far as your poll hitting close to home?
or striking a nerve with me?

you are really streching for something..or you surely jest!  

i answered the poll,found it interesting,
 and randomly happened to fit in with the most common result.

i'm not the kind of person that would give three flips either way..
never having once in my life asked for anyones input on who i choose to be married to, or romantically involved with..

but since i fit the most common answer,, how in the heck would that bother me?

I wasnt bothered, nor was i the one to get all cranky over a couple of quite mundane replies to the thread.

For the record, i got puzzled over you over reacting to them,
being insulting, and couldnt imagine why.
your overreaction and insults did strike a nerve to me,,
and yes called you out on it a bit.
not sure why..

so what the heck, go ahead,   make sure and insult and attack anyone not staying EXACTLY on topic and within the parameters of both the board and the thread..
i'm sure you'll feel all better....
*shrugs*

[Bruce]

Mir, thanks for the impetus getting this poll started.  Very interesting numbers.  39 responses so far.  No Ukraine or Russia bias, but the numbers do show 11 years or more younger or greater in age difference between the man and his wife.   

Perhaps one can make the argument that since we are a unique group over all meeting and marrying girls from the FSU, as a group we would have different numbers than the supposed norm of the girl being 10 years younger maximum than the man.  Or, one can say it would be expected that an "odd" group of men would marry an "odd" group of women.   

AJ - we apparently can not communicate on this thread.  I have no idea where you are comming from  .  I appreciate you trying to correct my mistakes  .  In this case I can not admit them.  Disruptive trolls on threads will always be called by me.  Sorry, complain all you like.  I've done it once and I'll do it again. 

[Jumper]

LOL Bruce, ok ok..
you did it thrice and ye shall do it yet again if needs be!
got it! !

so we should dub the ,
the Great Trollinator!

i'll Fed Ex you a nice new cape with a big *T* on it.

[Bruce]

40 responses so far.  There has to be more then 40 married guys on this board who could participate with this poll.  The more information the greater the inference!

[BC]

40 responses so far.  There has to be more then 40 married guys on this board who could participate with this poll.  The more information the greater the inference!

40 married guys??  I think less than half that maybe... roll call?