the girl or the website?

[rickjames]

 So I am about to quit Anastasiaweb, and give myself a few extra months to learn the language, tweak the "gentlemanly demeanor" a little, and make some other personal adjustments before taking a trip. I got paranoid with online communication and began raising my own red flags to my correspondents. Needless to say, I scared one away, but before I was going to quit this endeavor, there was one more girl...
 She's new to the website, and seems to be overly positive. she says she's a manager in a sporting goods store, and finishes work at 22:00 her time, that's when she says I should call her. she sends me letters at either 5 am (mountain time), or a few minutes after 1:00 (mountain). She even gave me her "home" address. because our correspondence is still in the early stages, I was going to back out. But she seemed nice, and I didn't want to break her heart, so I still talked to her. She said that she was going skiing with her friends on the 20th of February, for four days. She sent me a letter on the 22nd. Yeah, possibly she went from the 18 to the 22nd, (I haven't asked her) but it was enough for me to get paranoid again. She also says that she wants to talk to me and only me, after the fifth letter. So, it was google time. I found her on another website, a cheap-looking www.russian-women.net. Funny stuff. Eyes went from blue to gray, weight went up a little, seems like she wanted much older men, blah, blah, blah. Sure her birthday and name was the same, as well as some snippets of her profile. But here's my favorite...
 She was also a lawyer now. Is it possible for a 21 year-old girl to be a lawyer? This is a legit question, because I am unaware of the education system in Ukraine. So here's the deal: I'd really love to toss this at her and see what she says. But she might not even know about it, because the other website is probably one of those mail-generator bulls--t things. I don't want to start pointing the finger just yet, I'd like an opinion, or an opinion from someone experienced. Is it more likely the girl or the website?
Like I said, I want back out of this international correspondence thing for a while and wise up first before doing it again. But is it safe to assume she's a scammer? Should I just walk away, or actually be responsible to report it?
 I've seen other girls between the sites, with mix n' match profiles and different cities listed. All google results, of course.

 or...are you all as curious as I, and want to know what she says about it????? this endeavor will cost me fifteen dollars. I'll even post the correspondence.

[catzenmouse]

The russian-women.net website is part of the Angelika Network. I've never used them but they have a decent reputation from what I remember.

Perhaps you could ask her if she is listed on any other web sites first. Then later tell her about this one that you found by "accident" to see her reaction.

A 21 year old lawyer... maybe a paralegal, or even just works at a law office. Does have some fishy smell to it but stranger things have happened than having a profile fudged up a bit to sound better.

Your call but personally I wouldn't pursue it any further.

Ken

[funkola]

I'm no expert but it has been my experience that a lot of details can get screwed up in the translations, including the profile info.

But then again there are plenty of girls in that age group so you can afford to be particular about who you write.

[Kuna]

I think you should consider the approach your taking and find a way to make it easier for you to "let go" when doubts arise.

What I mean is... if you're going to take a trip start a concerted writing campaign maybe 2 months before and write introduction letters to at least 40 girls.  Be very specific with what you're looking for, write it down and keep qualifying your correspondence according to your wants. 

Once you get through all of the girls that are clearly incompatible some standout girls will appear.  It'll be obvious based not only on what they write but how they respond (quickly, enthusiasm, showing genuine interest, etc).  Phone calls will help you understand them too.

Focus on the best girls you find and a few weeks before your trip choose one to visit. When I did my trip I met two I'd been writing to... intended meeting three.  In hindsight I wish I'd trusted my gut instinct and just visited my favourite!

With this girl... if you have doubts... and you're not travelling VERY soon, I'd disengage.  You have little to gain right now unless you're ready to pack your bags and hit the ground.

Just my opinion...

Kuna

[rickjames]

 Thanks for the input guys. Even though the other site looks shady from its appearance, it could very well be reputable. I don't know. All I know is that mistrust can really f- up a correspondence, whether electronic, or face-to-face. It's hard to bring up a topic like this, and present it to someone without sounding like a interrogation. I just didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings if she was for real. She loves to pump sunshine though, and it's early enough that I can split. She's very pretty, and wants to correspond only with me?
 I highly doubt it. I don't get the two jobs bit either.
I'll take a poke at her, just to satisfy a curiosity, and I'll let y'all know what she says in case you're in the same situation down the road.
 Anything else I can say probably belongs in another thread, or has already been said.

 I just learned, that the golden mean is to be cautious, and still show trust.

 I guess I'm not as smooth as I used to be...

[2tallbill]

I think you should consider the approach your taking and find a way to make it easier for you to "let go" when doubts arise.

What I mean is... if you're going to take a trip start a concerted writing campaign maybe 2 months before and write introduction letters to at least 40 girls.  Be very specific with what you're looking for, write it down and keep qualifying your correspondence according to your wants. 

Once you get through all of the girls that are clearly incompatible some standout girls will appear.  It'll be obvious based not only on what they write but how they respond (quickly, enthusiasm, showing genuine interest, etc).  Phone calls will help you understand them too.

Focus on the best girls you find and a few weeks before your trip choose one to visit. When I did my trip I met two I'd been writing to... intended meeting three.  In hindsight I wish I'd trusted my gut instinct and just visited my favourite!

With this girl... if you have doubts... and you're not travelling VERY soon, I'd disengage.  You have little to gain right now unless you're ready to pack your bags and hit the ground.

Just my opinion...

Kuna

Kuna is giving you great advice. I agree

Good luck

Bill

[Kuna]

Thanks for the input guys. Even though the other site looks shady from its appearance, it could very well be reputable. I don't know. All I know is that mistrust can really f- up a correspondence, whether electronic, or face-to-face. It's hard to bring up a topic like this, and present it to someone without sounding like a interrogation. I just didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings if she was for real. She loves to pump sunshine though, and it's early enough that I can split. She's very pretty, and wants to correspond only with me?
 I highly doubt it. I don't get the two jobs bit either.
I'll take a poke at her, just to satisfy a curiosity, and I'll let y'all know what she says in case you're in the same situation down the road.
 Anything else I can say probably belongs in another thread, or has already been said.

 I just learned, that the golden mean is to be cautious, and still show trust.

 I guess I'm not as smooth as I used to be...

\

Rick,

If you're going to write back to you why not try phrasing it somehting like this:

Igor, (or whatever her name is...)

[Nice soft introduction to your email]

Igor, you know my intentions are serious and I am a sensible man. I am looking for a lifelong relationship that is fulfilling for me and my partner.  I've told you I am looking for X, Y, Z.

Since I started to look towards Ukraine/Russia for my partner I have done a lot of research through reading and listening to others who have successfully married.  It's in my nature to want to understand before I give my heart.

When I was doing some research I found something that surprised me, and I think the best thing I can do is confide in you.  Do you mind if I ask you some serious questions?  I think it's essential that we ask each other serious questions if we're going to meet one day.

Igor,  in my research I found X profiles that described you, but in different ways.  Of course my curiousity grew.  I like you for X,Y, Z reasons and therefore I feel comfortable to ask you these questions.

Did you know there were other profiles out there?  Did you know they said different things?  I'd be very interested to hear more from you. [ask your questions here]

On a less serious note I'm happy to be able to tell you that I have decided to start planning my trip to Ukraine/Russia.  I've told you my search is serious so I've decided that I should come to Ukraine/Russia and learn more from the people I meet and the things I see.  Of course I have a goal... and I hope that you and I can continue to learn more about each other and maybe one day soon we can meet.

Tell me more about X,Y,Z.  In your last letter I found this very interesting.  Of course I'd love to see more photos of you. I believe photos help me understand more about you.  Here's a picture of me standing on my head while on the observation deck of the Empire State Building.  Sorry my skirt has exposed my panties but sometimes I'm known to do spontaneous things while wearing womens clothes... (OK... you can leave the last bit out if you choose!   )



Rick, I think there's a way to ask the question and explain to "Igor", that you're serious and not frivolous.  I'm not sure my wording is "perfect".. but it is possible to ask questions like this and gain more respect at the same time.

These are just my thoughts... but everyone has their own style though...

Best of luck,

Kuna

[catzenmouse]

Here's a picture of me standing on my head while on the observation deck of the Empire State Building.  Sorry my skirt has exposed my panties but sometimes I'm known to do spontaneous things while wearing womens clothes...

Kuna

I saw that picture of you on the internet. Plaid skirts are not your style. Consider something a little less tacky. Oh yeah, shave your legs next time. 

Ken

[Daveman]

Hi guys, first post here, was going to post in intro first, but this thread caught my attention.

It has been my experience, through a bit of investigative work, that many of the "dating sites" are simply mirror images of each other and exchange profiles of the girls regularly.  Some even copy or "steal" profiles.  These are mostly the pay by letter, translation, or pay for address types. 

here are some examples, now, I'm not trying to convict these sites of anything, just posting what I have found through a bit a legwork.

Remember, often times the girl on the site has no clue her profile is on some of these sites, which is another major red flag. I have several contacts who I am sure are legit women, who were genuinely shocked to learn their pictures and profiles were on these sites.  Perhaps 2 or 3 would lie or feign surprise, but I know of 8.  I doubt all 8 are equally good actresses who have attended the "How to Pretend To Be Shocked and Humiliated When Someone Finds Your Other 'Secret' Profile" school of drama.  Okay, so, who's answering the mail you send? :-) You figure it out. :-)

These sites are mirror images of some sort as all of them contain the exact profile numbers for specific ladies with similar yet different fronts:

lovetopping.net
e-russian-brides.net
interbride.ru
po.umu.com
city-of-brides.com

as stated, these sites contain the exact profile numbers for identical ladies on each site.  Verify it for yourself.

Other sites which can be either surprisingly similar, or even have same typos in profiles, and other mistakes. No allegations about them, but simply reading them gave me a gut feeling of "something may not be quite right".

natashaclub.com
russian-brides-club.com
fiance.com 

Again, no allegations of impropriety, but I would simply suggest a closer look and doing some investigative background work before pulling out the credit card.

A stolen or copied profile makes money for them.  Each letter, or address, etc. gives them revenue, so I would say that the advice is good that "any site who will not leave you alone to communicate with the girl without involvement by the agency in any way" is an absolute red flag.

This list is far far far far from comprehensive, and merely represents my personal legwork and conclusions.  YYMV , side effects of using this information may be drowsiness, leaking of the bladder, night sweats, premature male menopause,  and if "something" has lasted for more than 4 hours, why the hell are you still reading this post?

Best wishes,
Dave