So IT IS the youth (and the beauty)

[Mir]

One of the posters has admitted that the main reason he went looking for a bride in the FSU was because he believed that he could find a woman much younger then himself (and much younger then he could get in his own country).
Perhaps that is the only reason for people to enter this quest?
Any comments?

[BC]

And who was this poster??

[funkola]

People get married for different reasons. I think in most cases they hope to better their life regardless of where they are from. I have never searched for younger women. I prefer they are about 42-47. I am 47. Nonetheless I have become involved with a 36 year old after she contacted me. She has continued to display her maturity and intellect to me. A 18-28 year old would be great fun for a short while. But ultimately I would feel like I was raising a kid and she would feel like she was living with her grand dad.

[LEGAL]

Why does he want to get much younger?
May be he thinks that he will look more intellectual beside her... I do not know... 
Some people really think if they have partner much younger they will grow young again ...   

Olga.

[LEGAL]

Mir,
how is much  "much younger"? Is he 60 and wants to get girl of 20 y.o.? I think it would be better to know his reasons: why and for what...

[wxman]

If the number 1 criteria for a wife in his search, is that she must be much younger, I can't imagine much success in a lasting marriage.   

[jb]

I disagree that we marry for different reasons,  I think we all marry for exactly the same reasons.  None of us want to spend our years in solitude.  To have a mate is normal and usual.  It is what we all aspire to.

I think what you are referring to is *criteria*,,, that's where we differ.

The old duffer who is looking to regain his youth by marrying a young woman is probably barking up the wrong tree,,, who knows?  It's not for me to judge, although I do shake my head in wonderment at times at what I read here.

As far as the poster who is looking solely for youth and beauty, I've seen several who fit that bill.  Rivardco is one who immediately comes to mind, all of his posts are slanted that way.  Rivardco is the very definition of shallow.  Who else did you have in the spotlight?

[LEGAL]

I think we all marry for exactly the same reasons. 

Married guys set their friend-old bachelor on the right path: you should to be married, you should have wife and children...

Why? - asks friend-old bachelor

Because when  your death-hour comes you will not have beside you anybody who can give you a glass of water!

Old bachelor has followed their advice.

His death-hour  has came. Man dying in his bed looks at his wife, 5 children and 10 grandchildren who are standing near his deathbed and then gives a deep sigh - OMG, why I'm not thirsty!

Olga 

[jb]

Olga,

I love the way you think...

[timothe]

I'll admit, I wanted to find someone more beautiful than I believed I could attain here in the good 'ol US of A.  But my own limitations in personality kept me from really persuing a stunningly beautiful woman.  (I've met a few in my journeys.)  And my experiences in letter writing pretty much kept me away from the young girls.  (I was 33 when I started this process.  Young to me was anyone under 24.)

When my search ended, the woman I ended up with has many of my mother's qualities and although her looks are nice, she's not amazingly beautiful.  (She's beautiful to me, of course.)

I don't think my search was abnormal.  Most men, if they are honest with themselves, ended up with a different set of criteria than the criteria they used at the beginning of the search.

I'm not sure that it matters what the man is thinking when he starts the journey.  If he is honest with himself and spends enough time communicating honestly with the women he desires, he'll end up with in the right situation with the right person.  If he's disingenuous, the women will smell it a mile away.  The good ones will fall by the wayside and the man will end up with a woman he may not be able to handle. 

     

[funkola]

I disagree that we marry for different reasons,  I think we all marry for exactly the same reasons. 

Some people marry for love, some for money, some for sex, others because they feel it is expected of them. Some people even get married for green cards. Some just want to escape their current circumstances. And still others want to avoid loneliness. I consider those different reasons. 

[vwrw]

After reading posts on RWD I have conclusions - those men who are older 40 y.o. contemplate:
1.   Wife who is the same age = risk is low but reward is little also.
2.   Wife who is much younger = risk is high but reward is huge.
Some men (I call them “rescuers”) choose low risk.
Some men (I call them “businessmen”) choose huge reward.
BUT there is one exception - JB who took low risk but received huge reward. I call him - Lucky guy! 

[wiz]

After reading posts on RWD I have conclusions - those men who are older 40 y.o. contemplate:
1.   Wife who is the same age = risk is low but reward is little also.
2.   Wife who is much younger = risk is high but reward is huge.
Some men (I call them “rescuers”) choose low risk.
Some men (I call them “businessmen”) choose huge reward.
BUT there is one exception - JB who took low risk but received huge reward. I call him - Lucky guy! 

Who says that if they are the same about age the risk is low and the rewards are also lttle also?

I do not agree as everything is down to the individual personalities!

[Mir]

I think the majority of men looking towards FSU are in their 40s.
So if they are seeking a lady in her early 20s then they are looking for a much younger wife.

vrvw

Please explain why a young girl brings huge rewards for the older man?
Do you think that WM-FSU marriage is about the man either marrying for charity (rescuing the woman) or as an investment (businessman for huge reward)? A rather peculiar choice of words I must say.

[vwrw]

Wiz, I am sorry, I do not mention you. An annex to my post above:
Also there is Wiz who wants to be lucky guy, like JB.

But if he does not meet his luck he would have to choose:
1.   He refuses idea to marry RW.
2.   He becomes either “rescuers” or “businessmen”)

[vwrw]

Do you think that WM-FSU marriage is about the man either marrying for charity (rescuing the woman) or as an investment (businessman for huge reward)? A rather peculiar choice of words I must say.

Yeah.
Examples:
Little reward wife – Legal’s Olga. Huge reward wife – JB’s wife. Both women are clever, beautiful and so on. Both women love their husbands. BUT, if you compared possibilities of these women, what they can do for their husbands you would see why one of them is little reward and other is huge reward.

[Mir]

I still don't get it.
What can JBs wife do for him that Legal's wife can't do for him?

[Bruce]

I'll speak for one population of men and there are a number of them.  These are guys who are high achievers.  They spent many years in school and then many years reaching a level they felt satisfied with their career or business accomplishments.  These are career oriented, goal motivated men who always thought the girl would take care of itself.  They worked so hard that when it was time for them to start a family, they looked around say starting from age 35 and saw a population of American women who wanted guys about their own age.  These are American women who think like men.  So, the high achieving guy has to settle for a girl with a kid or a couple of kids divorced from another guy or a girl who still single at age 35 in the USA probably has a lot of emotional baggage at best or is down right not marriage material at worst.  Remember, this is a high achieving guy we are talking about who thinks outside the box.  He now wants to start a family.  He wants a wife who can bear healthy children.  He is smart, probably in excellent physical shape who is well travelled and successful.  He wants the girl he feels he deserves.  Everything else in his life is above average.  He wants a girl who is pretty, intelligent, with at least decent values that can handle the life style he is accustomed to.  He is worldly and open to marrying a girl from another culture who is compatible with him.  So, where can this guy find a girl who is physically attractive to him, who can have children with him, who is just as intelligent as an American woman, but without the age difference negativities and other baggage he finds incompatible with an American woman?  Why, he goes to Europe.  In this case he goes to far Europe ie. FSU because the numbers are more in his favor.  Along with pretty to him usually comes younger and the rest is history.........................

[CaptB]

vwrw,

My wife is 14 years younger than I am (same age difference between jb and Etna). I really was looking for someone closer to my age (now 55). Vika.....by the way.....just had her 41st
birthday on Sunday. I was not interested in an age difference of more than 10 years at most. But I have an open mind......and just could not pass her up.....because of a few extra years (in age difference).

I do not know how anyone could come to the conclusion that "a younger woman" will be more "rewarding". It never fails to amaze me that younger people......seem to be experts....on "older people". Experience in being 40, 50, 60.........is something a person your age has no "firsthand" knowledge of. You are in your late 20's.......your man is 65 (?).
You have some experience "being with" someone older.......but "no experience"...........in being there. On the RWG there was always some young guy telling us older guys......what we were all about..........but they will never have a real idea.......until they get there.

I've dated younger women in this country........I saw no more "value" in them.......than in the older women I dated. "Value"........is an individual thing......which I have rarely found "age related". "Youth" may be of more value to some men.....usually those less experienced in dating.......and wanting something to "show off" to make-up for the lack of past successes in this venue. Most women of any age can be "high risk"......when they are the "wrong" woman. When the "real....right woman" comes along.......the risks are minimal..........unless the man blows it.


Capt B

[Mir]

Bruce

You do have some valid points but why do people need a wife?
Is a wife like a plaything, so a successful man can enjoy her youth and show her off as a proof of his success?
Are people only interested in the physical side or there is some importance of what is in there? Does intellect and knowledge that comes from life experiences have any attraction?
A much younger woman is likely to be from a different generation. Here you are getting a life partner no only from an alien culture but someone who has not even lived the era where your personality was being formed.
Maybe high achievers only need the wife to have sex 2-3 times per week (the average) and take her out to impress others? Perhaps they are otherwise too busy pursuing further achievements that they don’t need their wife as a friend?
But I doubt all high achievers are narcissist!
 

[Turboguy]

Please explain why a young girl brings huge rewards for the older man?
Do you think that WM-FSU marriage is about the man either marrying for charity (rescuing the woman) or as an investment (businessman for huge reward)? A rather peculiar choice of words I must say.

Isn't happiness a huge reward?

[LEGAL]

Yeah.
Examples:
Little reward wife – Legal’s Olga. Huge reward wife – JB’s wife. Both women are clever, beautiful and so on. Both women love their husbands. BUT, if you compared possibilities of these women, what they can do for their husbands you would see why one of them is little reward and other is huge reward.

I never looked at Olga as a reward, much less a little reward wife. I don't understand this concept! The greatest thing in this world is when two loving people carpedium and share there souls together throughly enjoying a romantic loving life together .  I never thought of Olga as doing for me, I think of what we do as equal. Olga does manage both my legal practice and the film studio with outstanding results. All the professional and non professional people affiliated with me absolutely love working with Olga and feel Olga has been an advantages asset to me and my practice. I would not have anyone else run my business.  I feel Olga and I compliment each other in all aspects of our life especially with her youth and beauty.


LEGAL

[Bruce]

Mir, good points which I think have no set answer.  Different guys have different psychological makeups, needs and desires.  They bring different sets of "cards" or for the point of this reply, skill sets to the table.  Some look really good and some not as good.  Some truly have jet set dollars and some are making their 100K a year very satisfied with their careers.  Some have had downright poor luck, some poor social skills and some had many choices over the years but did not take settling down as a goal at that point of their life.  Some just had no real time until they hit 35 or so.  Some guys did not "wake up" until they were 40.  

I do not think anyone needs a wife, unless they consciously want to have children and have the ethic to believe that a husband and wife are best for raising a child.  Many guys may purposely choose a younger wife, either consciously or subconsciously, to ensure they have a healthy child / children.  What percentage of professional males fit into the above description I do not know, but I suspect it is a high percentage.  

Some guys are shallow narcissists, but I suspect they will not stay married long.  They probably are getting married for the wrong reasons.  Arm candy without a true connection at some level surely will fail, definitely in the long run and probably in the short run.  Guys just looking for arm candy are best off staying home and dating high class call girls.  Do all of them know this?  Probably not, which can lead to another failed relationship for them.  

Still another population of men, whether professionals or other high achievers feel when they get to a certain point, say 45 or 50 that life is passing them by, especially if they were never married and do not have children.  They look at the local dating pool and see no hope to meet their desires or goals, much less dreams.  Some of these guys think outside the box.  They learn about the FSU and go for it.  Many of these guys have the deep down feeling that their life is like a team on its own 5 yard line, with two minutes left in the game and need a touchdown to win.  Others in this boat passed 50 may feel like they are on their five but with time running out and they have to throw a hail mary to have a chance, and they go to the FSU.  

Always remember, a guy is first looking for physical attraction.  He then is looking for a girl who gets along socially with him. He then is looking for someone who shares long term goals.  He lastly is looking for a girl who really makes him truly feel special.  The girl is looking for the same things.  Intellect and knowledge from life experience may be only a small percentage of what drives a particular man socially or treads on his short and long term goals.  For other men, intellect and knowledge that one gains over time is extremely important.  I submit to you that the majority of men who go to the FSU looking for a wife does not view intellect and knowledge that a girl gains from life experience as extremely important to them.  

I think every guy who marries has to think of his wife as his best friend.  For the marriage to survive they must be each others best friends.  The true narcissist may not ever marry.  

I'll give you one example.  One of my best friends from childhood is 46 years old, never married, not gay etc.  He is extremely wealthy.  He is really into his company.  He is a true jet setter.  He keeps himself in excellent physical shape and is lucky enough to be tall, I suppose handsome etc.  He is a president of a corporation on the nasdaq exchange with an anual income well over 5 million dollars a year.  He always has a girlfriend.  However, he never married and every few years has a new seemingly attractive girlfriend.    He has all the toys in life ie. cars etc.  I believe he is as close to the narcissist you describe.   He has no need to go to the FSU.  Young pretty girls throw themselves at him here.  Yet, he never has married nor probably ever will.  Most guys are not like the guy I know above.  

Mir - one thing you may be forgetting is that daily life is hard.  Daily life with a young child is harder.  Basic humanity and life with a woman from an alien culture trumps finding a woman who has lived in the era where a guys personality was formed.  One can look at life and marriage as a series of tradeoffs and compromises.  Believe me, those that have made the decision to marry a girl from the FSU and are staying married have made a great choice for themselves, their wives and their families.  

[IAmZon]

Antother posts concerning the topic of age and beauty?  And, Rivardco did not write it.  I love Thor's recent posts too.  Similar topic.  Good information for me, and people like me.

Up thread, I received a love tap -  Quote from JB: "As far as the poster who is looking solely for youth and beauty, I've seen several who fit that bill.  Rivardco is one who immediately comes to mind, all of his posts are slanted that way.  Rivardco is the very definition of shallow.  Who else did you have in the spotlight?"[/i]

Rarely have I been so misunderstood, and unable to correct the communication.  This is what you guys must have been warning me of ... this must be like to argue with a RW?

Some people succeed socially dispute themselves.  JB, from the first post I read of yours, I imagined Archie Bunker.  I have not read a single post from you since that has altered my impression ... he was also a "cool asshole".

Me shallow?  How bout you drawing hasty conclusions? You are as pig headed as thick skinned.  Your the kind of guy that can master 1+1=2; the black and white stuff; but I assume advanced math stupefies you.

Unlike you, I realize I may be wrong by these conclusions ... but on the surface, that's the way it is.

[LEGAL]

Isn't happiness a huge reward?

NOT ACCORDING TO YOUR VWRW.......

LEGAL