So IT IS the youth (and the beauty)

[catzenmouse]

As far as the comparison she made of Olga and jb's wife.  I won't argue the fact that is is not in good taste to call someone who reads and participates here worth far less then another person.   I think she realizes that now too and would take it back if she could but her principal and her reasoning were sound.

So, if the reasoning was sound why the attitude? A simple "I'm sorry, what I meant to say was this..."

This, in my opinion, was the hand grenade (thanks Legal for the visiual!  ) that could have easily been smothered by a response that showed a touch of remorse for the way the post was taken and a lack of ensuing attitude for the response to a post that was taken by many, if not most, to be a singular slam at Olga?

Ken

[jb]

I wonder how many of us could participate to the tune of a few hundred posts on a Russian Language forum without sticking our foot in our mouth occasionally.

I wouldn't go there,,, while my spoken Russian is semi-OK, my written Russian sucks,,, but I'm not thinking of relocating to Russia at the moment.  I think you are asking the wrong question here.  vwrw made some irresponsible comments regards risk vs. rewards, and young wife vs. age appropriate wife.  Frankly, I don't think vwrw has the necessary experience to make such a call.  I'm guessing she just shot her mouth off, as young people often do, without thinking of the consequence of her words.

This is just a small bit of advice,,, you don't have to take it, but I offer it,,,perhaps you and vwrw should take a small vacation from RWD and let tempers cool a bit.  Come back in two weeks with the right attitude and no one will remember this dust up.

Just a thought.

[joty]

 By American standards most will not look at a successful business woman married to a much older man as lucky. The U.S. is unlike Russia. In fact, you may be subjected to people who have your exact attitude. They will think you either a poor girl who did not have a father, therefore married a father figure, possibly living in very poor situation back in Russia .Or a young woman no young man with high earning potential  wanted because she may have personality issues or depression issues, so she had no choice but to marry such an old man who is  years beyond his  high earning potential.  This is not what I think, but what you will be PREjudged  to be. As I've said, you will not like it when people prejudge you. TG, I do not mean to put you down. I am just using examples to show you  if you really think it would be right for people to view your relationship that way. You know in the U.S. some will view this relationship with huge suspect.
IS THAT RIGHT??? Why can't it be people choose their partner because they are high value to them. Noone else should be able to make that judgement due to age,looks or income.

  VWRW, Get ready to defend yourself a lot when you have American men and women will ask you why you are with such an older man, when there are clearly young,successful,intelligent VERy rich men all over the U.S. Or some will simply laugh behind your back.

 What will be your answer when they ask why you married a low risk man?. Please do not tell me marrying a much older man is high risk because he may get tired of your lack of worldliness. That just does not happen. Much older men usually are not the ones to leave unless they find their young wives in bed with much younger men.


i agree with you 100 percent vwrw has alot to learn about the united states this is what happend with my brother and his wife they were always being critizied.  tg/vwrw you are going to get alot of stares and questions, and laughter, behind you backs when you walk with you young wife and your old husband.   i think that people will say wow the old guy got a huge reward!!!  Her reward must be his money.

[Turboguy]

Ken C

Excellent post.
You know sometimes I think there is some contradictions to what you write.
I mean marriage to a younger FSU woman just does not happen.

Try looking at the age poll in the other thread and you will see lots of examples of "just does not happen"

Surely you decided to marry Lena and planned and perused this ambition till it was realized. But then I feel that perhaps in your case it was truly the circumstances which brought two soul mates together and who have worked hard to keep the relationship going.You have my great respect for this.

Believe me I did my share of planning and persuing to find VWRW and the circumstances for us were more unusual than you know now.  Actually I was going to talk about that in the TR part but got sidetracked here.

Somehow TGs case is different.From what I have read of his posts he was always chasing much younger girls then him (and also of a certain physical type ie light skin and dark hair).
Still that does not mean he cannot find his soulmate in what he has found. Only time will tell..........

That could be looked at as bad or good.  I can't argue with it.  Even most of the gals I dated in America were 25 - 30 years younger than me.   If I wanted to suggest the good side, a younger woman is nothing new for me.  It is not a case where I am in an unfamiliar environment of adapting to a younger woman for the first time.  As far as the dark hair and light complexion part it is not that big a deal to me.  My former fiancee was a blond with a good tan.  My former wife was a natural blond.  Heck, VWRW is a woman.   In the first photo I saw of her she was a redhead.  In her passport photo she is a blond.  That is the nice thing about a RW.   You never have to worry about getting tired of a hair color.

jb, excellent advise as usual.   Ken, Thanks for the thoughts.   If VWRW asks me I will give her my opinion.  RW can be very strong willed and I can only act on my behalf and try to examine and understand what she said.  What ever actions she wants to take are up to her.  Whatever she chooses to do I am behind her 100%

Joty, I will answer you later.  I have some things I need to do right now.

[LEGAL]

You can shoot me but I can not understand how a soul and love of person can be converted to money.

Please, somebody, find the posts where VWRW has read about my poor abilities.

I'm in America just 6 month. I have received my SSN on October 31 2006.

I don't know how long  VWRW has been in America if she makes her conclusions about abilities. I would like to know how Russian woman "simply worker" builds her career as an American business woman" and where she has got the  credit with a good % to start her business. May be she would like to share her business experience with other Russian wives in America how to be a big reward for her husband or investor.

Olga.

[mspanky]

TG lives in Beaver Falls, Penn? I did'nt think that's where all the movers and shakers in the Biz world were located. But I may be wrong.

[BC]

Lets face it... for most of us old codgers fantasies of a younger wife are up there with having two or more bi women at the same time.

Sometimes life throws little 'quirks' at us and we can live out a fantasy or two.. but don't go looking for it as you will certainly be disappointed in the end.  Sure opportunities sometimes land in your lap but don't expect these opportunities to live up to your fantasies.

Anyone that has been married to a younger woman for a while will not notice the age difference long.  All will be quite 'normalna' in a very short time.

It's another one of those 'grass greener on other side' things..  beware.

[Turboguy]

Joty, I do not mean this in a negative way but do you have any experience with it to back up what you say?  I am saying that because what you are saying is a bunch of crap and not realistic at all.   Even if it did happen why would I care at all and why should VWRW care?

I have dated or been involved with a number of much younger women.  In what totals years of experience I can think of three episodes that ever occurred.  Two were with my 21 year old girlfriend (who looked 16) who I lived with from the time I was 45 to 49.   The two episodes we had were when the bank told her to give her dad something and the hairdresser that said her mother (meaning my ex) also went there.   We laughed about both.   The third episode was with Luda who was two years older than VWRW but looked 18.  One of my former employees told someone he saw me at a disco and that I was there with a young girl.  That comment did not create a problem at all.  Not exactly the kind of thing that will make life together challenging.

If it was going to be a big problem for us, would we have not seen some kind of sign of it already?  In our times together everyone assumed we were husband and wife.  No one gave it a second thought.  No one said would you and your daughter like a camel ride?   It was would you and your wife like a camel ride?  Sorry, but I don't look for that aspect of things to be even a tiny problem.   I appreciate the advice but it is bad advice and even if it does happen we are very capable of dealing with it.

Spanky, you are 100% right.

BC.  I agree with you but for me a younger wife is not a fantasy nor is two or more bi women.   That is just my personal opinion.   The other part I agree with totally.   Neither of us notices the age difference or gives it a minutes thought except when I need to talk about it here.

[BC]

If it was going to be a big problem for us, would we have not seen some kind of sign of it already? 

Turbo,

Check back in a couple of years.. not 'knocking' you, but you have spent only a few weeks with each other or?

OTOH the track record you describe seems to indicate you indeed strive for younger women.. they just don't 'fall into lap' that often imhe.  Quite honestly and hope you can accept this as constructive critique, I kinda worry about your 'rapid fire' 'Young K' relationships, especially in light of other contenders that were obviously quite interested but not worth your follow-up. 

Putting myself in your shoes I would probably find myself quite 'jaded'.   

[mspanky]

Um,


 TG, in Egypt they would'nt bat an eyelash as they are used to Western women marrying Egyptian guys 30 years younger. So an older guy with a young gal is pretty refreshing.

 But in the U.S. You have to admit it's much more difficult for older men to date much young women because of stigma most young women do not want attached to them and few younger women find much older men sexually attractive. Just as few younger men find much older women sexually attractive.

 If it were so easy for AM to date much younger women, many guys would not be in Russia right now. There are colleges and grad schools filled with marriage aged ambitious beautiful women in the U.S. So why not look here??


 All I am saying is you seem to want to deny a much older man with younger girl is not judged by others. But  for vwrw to say an age appropriate couple is low risk,low reward is correct????

[Turboguy]

There is a difference between striving and fantasy BC.   Until Luda, I was looking mostly for younger women.  After Luda, I decided to make age a low priority.  My becoming attached to VWRW had nothing to do with her age.  It was just something that happened.  

Yes, I guess we are around 3 weeks together give or take a few days.  Right now our K-1 seems to be going slowly so I may almost move there in a few months if NVC continues at it's current pace with us.  Almost by the way is going there about 3 weeks and coming back for two then returning.

[Zhena]

Get ready to defend yourself a lot when you have American men and women will ask you why you are with such an older man,

Really,they will? Personally I dont have such an experience here. But,if that would happen...I know,the intelligent people wont ask that,so...my answer would be-because I love him. If that wouldnt satisfy them-its their problem,I dont care. Or I could answer harsher in some case-its not your business-and I would be right after all.

[What will be your answer when they ask why you married a low risk man?.

I cant get-whats wrong with that? Should I marry just a high-risk man? ??? Strange...

[catzenmouse]

We've never had any problems like that either. We have 17 years difference but we seem to fit pretty well together.

Ken

[jb]

After Luda, I decided to make age a low priority.

Not true, age was always a priority in your search.

You say that now, but your track record says otherwise.  Personally, I'd say you have always been on track to find a younger woman.  Your dating history here on the RWD supports this thesis.  You have always been an older guy seeking a younger woman, much, much, younger, please do not skew the data by saying you just "happened" to meet vwrw by accident, " It was just something that happened..  You deliberately sought her out because she was young,,, we all know that bit of history.

Next thing you will be selling is that you bumped into her on the street and it was "love at first sight",,, don't try to change the story at this late date.

[LEGAL]

The age difference,  beauty, youth... it is not such a big problem.

What you have inside you - in your mind in your soul.

A pretty young woman sits at home and calculates who is a big reward and who is a  small and whose income greater... who is Charitable fund for wife and who is Investor with big %. And after it she brings her business invitations for general discussion.

Olga

[mspanky]

Someone with a close to 40 year age diiference is much different than 17 years. I have friends in teh U.S. married to a 22 year old. He is early 40's. The issue is not big and noone really looks at them . But I am sure if she was 22 and he was 60, people would make judgements.

 What I am trying to say in this is vwrw,would not like it if people made judgements about her relationship. She of all people should understand you do not judge. These are not my thoughts. I am asking how she will react when people make assumptions of her.

I cant get-whats wrong with that? Should I marry just a high-risk man? Strange..


Zhena,
if you read the past post vwrw said

low risk=low rward partner which makes you a rescuer.
high risk=high rewards partner which makes you a good businessman

[Turboguy]

Now jb is a mind reader.   jb, If I am willing to admit that prior to Luda I was looking hardest for younger women why would I not be willing to admit the same now.  The only reason is because age was not an issue for me consiously or unconsiously.

Olga,  LOL,  I am sure it happens.

MSpanky,   We all have different qualities that we respect and admire.  VWRW admires someone who will take risks and who is successful in business.   It is best to fall in love with someone you respect and admire just as I have done with VWRW.

[mspanky]

Tg,

 Now you've got me curious. I understand rwvw respect people who are successful in businees. What do you do? I'm a boring accountant.

[KenC]

Starting at the core issue, what VWRW said that so many seemed to find offensive, what she said was that there was more risk and more reward with a younger woman.   What she said first was:

1.   Wife who is the same age = risk is low but reward is little also.
2.   Wife who is much younger = risk is high but reward is huge.
Some men (I call them “rescuers”) choose low risk.
Some men (I call them “businessmen”) choose huge reward.
BUT there is one exception - JB who took low risk but received huge reward. I call him - Lucky guy!  

What she said next was.

Little reward wife – Legal’s Olga. Huge reward wife – JB’s wife. Both women are clever, beautiful and so on. Both women love their husbands. BUT, if you compared possibilities of these women, what they can do for their husbands you would see why one of them is little reward and other is huge reward.

Now guys, I want to ask you something.   Where do you think VWRW learned about RW-AM relationships?   Talking with her agency that she used to use?   Perhaps from her friends?   No, sorry, wrong on both counts.  She learned about it reading RWD for 4 hours a day.   What she fed to you in that post was basically what she picked up from you in your posts.

Wow, now it is all our fault that your woman makes such outlandish statements?  You got to be kidding me!  With the elections here heating up, I am sure you can catch on with a candidate as a spin Dr., Turbo. I read a lot of the posts here, but not all, so I must have missed the ones relating to younger women being high wage earners and therefore of higher value than older RW.  Care to share them with us? If not, quit pulling stuff out of your azz please.

So now you are trying to say that a typical American man who had a choice of a younger, beautiful sexy, intelligent, romantic, caring woman is always going to run for the hills and seek out a more dowdy same aged woman.  

Look at your terminology!  Older women =dowdy?  They cannot be sexy, beautiful, intelligent romantic or caring?  You are phucked up my friend.

Yea guys, I am not saying that there are not guys who prefer a woman close to their age but even the age poll shows some validity to what VWRW said.    Mirror, mirror on the wall, her comments are mirroring what many of you have said on RWD even if you don't want to admit it.

Was there anyone there at 38 years difference like you?

Part 2 of what she said:  She was trying to make the point that an intelligent, ambitious, hard working wife can be more of an asset than one who is only pretty.  In the case of something unfortunate happening to the guy, it could be the most wonderful thing that could happen.   If you think this is wrong you are running short of brain matter.

Sorry Dr. Spin, it is you that must have left your brain in Omaha on the way home because no one here reads it like you do and I think that is only wishful thinking on your part.  No where does VWRW indicate that her earnings were any kind of safety net for you ol boy.

As far as the comparison she made of Olga and jb's wife.  I won't argue the fact that is is not in good taste to call someone who reads and participates here worth far less then another person.   I think she realizes that now too and would take it back if she could but her principal and her reasoning were sound.  There are a lot of wives who come from the FSU and are not able to thrive here.  I have a good friend who has been married a year and the only job she has been able to find is cleaning toilets. (she quit after 5 weeks because it was too much work)  If he would ever encounter health problems I have no doubts his wife would have more value to him if she could and would find a good job.  

But how old is this toilet cleaner?  She must have been your age Turbo, according to your woman's theories.

I think VWRW underestimated how well Olga has adapted to life here and the contribution she is making to Legal.  You could add in the fact that jb's wife has done all of the above and according to jb is also filthy rich so that may add to the value but I don't want to go there.   VWRW and Olga have had a bit of a cat fight at times and the only thing I plan to do is stay out of the way.  

That's what happens when an inexperienced and unknowing woman takes on a woman of substance, Turbo.  Your lady's mouth is writting checks her experience cannot cash.

Do I think VWRW owes Olga an apology.  That is up to her.  I am not going to influence her one way or the other.   I do think a lot of you owe VWRW an apology though

. For what?  Disagreeing with her warped view on things?  Tell me please.

Other than the comment about Olga VWRW's post was a good one and shows her insight and how much she has learned from all of you.

Yeah a real gem!  Of nonsense from a girl yet to hit the shores and doesn't have a clue.
KenC

[LEGAL]

So Turboguy with all the highly educated and savvy business  people here on this board, maybe all of us  should start a corporation maybe it would be bigger than immobilarey. ANY TAKERS  REMEMBER THIS IS THE BUSINESS WE CHOSE....



LEGAL

[jb]

Now jb is a mind reader.

No,,, jb is just a long standing member of the RWD with a pretty good memory.  You have always been a young skirt chaser. Deny that and I'll call you a liar, and 99% of the membership will support me.  Don't start fights you can't win.

[LEGAL]

KenC I have been biting my tongue and most certainly you have taken many thoughts right out of my head . I am trying not to throw grenades.

LEGAL

[mspanky]

OH MY GOD!!! KenC, you are my new hero. You don't beat around the bush, do you???

[Zhena]

Zhena,
if you read the past post vwrw said

low risk=low rward partner which makes you a rescuer.
high risk=high rewards partner which makes you a good businessman

Ok,thanks for clarifying.

[BC]

Someone with a close to 40 year age diiference is much different than 17 years.

Yes.. I've often stated in such threads that our 17 year difference was 'pushing the envelope'. I'm even more convinced every year that passes...  I would consider anything approaching 40 years to be a real nightmare in disguise.

Just IMHO