Cultural Differences in Sexuality

[catzenmouse]

What comments , a letter??

The Great "DUH!" Machine Strikes Again~

 

... this is worse than trying to get our 6 year old to stop running in the house...

[Bruno]

A period of relaxation is necessary before I start again.

Before start again, you need first to stop !!!

For when the next trip to Sofia ? Don't say that you will not make a next trip, since it was you have reply before you last one !!!

Since the topic is about sexuality, i think that intimate relation was great with your ex-always_busy-girlfriend...

About jealousy, i begn think that it is partially founded... Your Sofia have complain that you stay in contact with the previous girl... it seem that now you stay in contact with Sofia... Very bad for the next relationship...

[Kuna]

Before start again, you need first to stop !!!

For when the next trip to Sofia ? Don't say that you will not make a next trip, since it was you have reply before you last one !!!

Since the topic is about sexuality, i think that intimate relation was great with your ex-always_busy-girlfriend...

About jealousy, i begn think that it is partially founded... Your Sofia have complain that you stay in contact with the previous girl... it seem that now you stay in contact with Sofia... Very bad for the next relationship...

Very true Bruno... very true...

wiz,

Of course you're an adult and you'll make your own decisions but over and over again people have advised you to make a clean break.  You haven't listened and you're still playing your games with Sofia.

You're not taking a break or having a rest and you're not even close to moving on until you can do that.

I'm confident you'll go back because you think you know what you're doing but I can promise you that no matter how you rationalise your actions, they are not rational.

I've been there and done that AND wasted four years.  You're going to do the same.

As you can't make a break from Sofia you should just give up and let her have it whatever way she wants it.  You're only unhappy when you're with her because your expectations are too high.

If you cave in and let go of the values that are important to you she can dominate you and then she'll be happy.  You can finally be together and then you should be happy. You may not feel so good about yourself down the track but at least you'll find some way to rationalise that too.

Good luck dude... you need it!

Kuna

[Bruno]

Very true Bruno... very true...

Don't know if it is true but it is what i feel...

Same after my divorce with my ex russian wife, i was weak like Wiz... i have never comeback to her, she have always seek me when she have need me... Like Sofia seem to need Wiz again... being the reserve wheel of the car is like hell... i was with health problem ( heart ), with depresion, etc... One day, i have make the right decision... i have go away to other city... without that i inform here... so she will not be able find me... only so, with all bridge cut, i was able to start again the quest for a new partner...

Maybe the last post was not really my style, i am not the clue bat guy... but i see in Wiz the Bruno from some year ago... in love and suffering from this love... hoping without result... saying to my friend that all was finish but running at the first call...

We cannot help Wiz in the actual situation... the only one who can help him is himself... it will hurt, it will be painfull... but it is the way to a beter future...

In any case, good luck Wiz... but i think that the pain is not yet finish...

[LEGAL]

The history of Russian-Ukraine holiday  "Ivan Kupalo".

This holiday is deeply rooted in the history of pagan Russia and Ukraine.
"Ivan Kupalo" is holiday of Love. The date of this holiday was the day of summer solstice - 22 June (old calendar).
In that day God of Heaven Svarog "reunited" with Goddess of Earth Makosha for love and Life - the Universal Love. One of main rituals was a ritual of love - sex - the Earthly Love according to the Law of Svarog - "As it is on Heaven as it has to be on Earth". The time of  main rituals was a night - the night of Kupalo.  That night was time of reciprocity of God Kupalo (Reality and Life) and Goddess Mara (Darkness and Death). It was the night of virgins' Initiation.
When young marriageable woman gave birth to a baby in Spring it was a good sign for her family and for her potential grooms - a woman was not barren. A father of woman accepted her baby for family as it was his own child and gave that child the name of family.

The Orthodoxy has united this holiday - night of Ivan Kupalo with Orthodox holiday - the birthday of Ioan (Ivan) Predtecha (John the Baptist) and determined the new date - 6-7 July. Of course Orthodoxy let  exist just one ritual - the bathing in a river.

Olga.

 

[Gator]

Olga,

Please tell me if I have this correct. 

On the evening of July 6 or 7, I am suppose to wander around, find a young virgin and impregnate her.  And her family will be happy even though I never marry her?  If correct, where will these virgins be lined up for men willing to sacrifice their manly seed?

[LEGAL]

Gator,

Night of Ivan Kupalo begins from evening of July 6 and has end in morning of 7 July.

I'm not sure that an Orthodox family of young virgin will be happy with her pregnancy  before her marriage 

The pagan holiday Ivan Kupalo has lost many rituals as  other pagan holidays with the coming of Orthodoxy.

Olga.

[wiz]

As you can't make a break from Sofia you should just give up and let her have it whatever way she wants it.  You're only unhappy when you're with her because your expectations are too high.

If you cave in and let go of the values that are important to you she can dominate you and then she'll be happy.  You can finally be together and then you should be happy. You may not feel so good about yourself down the track but at least you'll find some way to rationalise that too.

Good luck dude... you need it!

Kuna

Dear Bruno and Kuna

Thank you for your concern and advice regarding Sofia. It is very helpful to me. I see that it has taken both of you very long time to come out of a bad situation and I have been apart from Sofia for just 17 days only.

In my previous post I said that I do not want to start communicating or having a new relationship, at the moment, I need to let the dust settle first because I do not want to be in the position to make the same mistakes, as I did with Sofia, because of the rebound situation.

You both know very well that feelings do not change overnight as we are not in control of them. Believe it or not I am feeling extremely relaxed and happy at the moment and I can speak with Sofia very easily about everything.

Before starting a new adventure I have plenty of time until my new 1 year visa arrives to analyse and rationalise everything so I can understand the Russian mentality and especially the Tatar Muslim mentality therefore I still talk to Sofia and believe it or not with a clinical process the past few days I have learned a lot and is obvious in my previous message.

In my life no woman has ever dominated me and Sofia has no chance of doing so. Probably this maybe is one of my faults been inflexible and not compromising in someway. That was the rationale behind my son’s advice for the last time I went back to Russia.

I think having a better understanding of what went on between me and Sofia will help me in the future to avoid, if possible, doing the same mistakes. I can assure you that I have the ability to compartmentalise the various parts of my life and in this case to put my relationship with Sofia in one pigging hole and have a new relationship in another and the same applies for my Ex Girlfriend.

Do I think Sofia and I can bridge the gulf between us?

Somehow No I do not think, so I do not hold any candle and hope that will light well one day.

OLGA

Sorry but I can not understand the message you try to convey to me.

Your convoluted Russian example gives me completely different meanings of what I am talking to the other's here, Kuna and Bruno.

[Kuna]

wiz,

You've had lots of advce in the past few months and I'm sure we wish you all the best.

Kuna

[LEGAL]

OLGA

Sorry but I can not understand the message you try to convey to me.

Your convoluted Russian example gives me completely different meanings of what I am talking to the other's here, Kuna and Bruno.

Wiz,

my previous post was out of your conversation with Kuna, Bruno and other's here. It was just historical information for this topic - Cultural Differences in Sexuality 

Olga.

[IAmZon]

There are many cultural differences in sexuality. Few have them have been adequately discussed so far.

I will write an answer to this question in several weeks...

[Gator]

Rivardco,

A statistically significant sample size is 25.  So you better have a lot of game or a lot of time.

[IAmZon]

I have time a-n-d game - AND PATIENTS:)

[SANDRO43]

I have time a-n-d game - AND PATIENTS

Are you a doctor ?

[LEGAL]

Are you a doctor ?

Olga.

[Daveman]

I will post here because maybe my individual circumstance may help give some insight to others.  This thread is about "sexuality" so, that's what I'll talk about.  Here I will talk about "fetishes", which is a part of the sexuality of some... myself included.  If you want to judge me for what I post here, then here's a preemptive 'blow it out your ass'. I couldn't possibly care less as to your opinion of my sexual preferences.  The topic is "sexuality" so perhaps my honesty here about my limited experience can shed a modicum of light on this rarely delved into subject. 

Perhaps I am a little different because I have a couple of "fetishes".  They are not clinical fetishes because I do not require them to achieve orgasm or erection, but, I simply am extremely aroused by them. I use 'fetish' in the more culturally accepted usage rather than by the clinical definition.

Why do I tell you this?  because, there have been many who have stated "if you have a fetish, forget FSU women" or some other bull as if having something "different" that turns you on is complete taboo to them -- Absolute rubbish.  Women in the FSU are as individual as anywhere else and I have found nothing but openness and acceptance of my 'differences'.

I have a "fetish" for a womans hands and feet.  I won't go into great detail here, because I think the ramifications of this statement should  be obvious as to what I like to do with her hands and feet, and what I like for HER to do with her hands and feet.  Get it?

Also, I love tickling. Yep, the laughter producing touch of sensitive areas of the body (especially the kissing of said areas).  Just in case you are curious, this is "Shekotka" in Russian. :-))  Of course I love all the normal stuff too, but these are my "differences". 

And just like in America, some ladies are open to it, others are not.  Most all are open to hand/foot play, but the tickling openness is a little less common because of course, most people who are really ticklish find it to be a little unpleasant (except those who LIKE it), but there are absolutely FSU women who are *very* open to it.

I don't have a sample of 25 FSU ladies, I have a total of three - 2 ukrainian, 1 Russian.  All three have been extremely open to both of these differences in my sexuality and have openly and deliberately used it to their advantage. I think you know exactly what that means. 

In my limited experience, I can honestly say that FSU women are very, very, very, very open and willing to experiment in their sexuality.  Perhaps if you are into something like S&M, or serious B&D you could run into some difficulty, I really don't know about that (though, I have seen some really wild stuff on the night time sex channel in Odessa - meaning, they wouldn't broadcast it if someone didn't want to watch it).

As to a difference in culture, well, we in America are from that ridiculous Puritan based origin where anything that brings pleasure must be from the devil, and we are still seeing the social consequences of this origin to this day.  But overall, I would say that there is little difference except that perhaps FSU women are more open to try anything you like (if they are comfortable with it) while American women tend to be little more judgmental from a "good or bad" moral perspective and seem to take more time to open up to try more adventurous things.  Generalities for sure and must be viewed exactly as such.  There are adventurous American women, and I am sure there must be prudish FSU women.

FSU ladies seem to have more of this attitude - "be careful what you wish for because if you like it and it feels good, we'll certainly do it.. but now that I know this about you, I will USE this information to drive you absolutely out of your mind with desire, so be prepared to ravish me..."

You think I'm kidding? Then you're in for a sexual shock when your future lady learns what really gets you going...

Also, FSU women have no problem at all buying condoms, or other sexual products.  At every small grocery shop, there is a variety of condoms and lubricants right there at the register along with the candy and bubble gum (oh my god,  you mean children can see them and maybe learn sexual responsibility as a natural part of life?? SATAN has taken over the FSU! SIN SIN SIN!!! call for an exorcism IMMEDIATELY!!!).  These adult products are not hidden off in a secluded area somewhere, they are thought of as necessary products for daily life and are right there where you can see them and remember "damn, I need those TODAY!".

I think sex itself in the FSU is (rightly so) viewed as a normal and healthy part of everyday life while in America it is seen as the secretive, unspoken aspect of adult night life and often complicated and distorted by a bunch of religious nonsense of sex being somehow inherently "evil".

Dave