stepchildren status

[jj]

I have 2 questions that crossed my mind recently.  Maybe you married guys can answer for me.  #1  when you marry your fiancee and she has a child under 21, and the child (teen daughter) becomes your stepdaughter, but do you need to follow up with an adoption process  to be your "legal" stepdaughter?

question #2  Would it be easier to marry in a neighboring state that did not require social security number if your own state requires one for marriage application, so that she can apply for social security number under married name?   Is it more complicated for her to get ss#  before or after marriage?   Thanks- jj

[William3rd]

for god's sake, why would you think about adopting? Unless you like the idea about someday having to pay child support.

The SS# is more dependent on her being in lawful status when you apply. . . .

[Bruno]

for god's sake, why would you think about adopting? Unless you like the idea about someday having to pay child support.

Yes, it is one side... but on the other side, you work hard for grow up a child, the child become like your own child... and when you divorce, you have no more right... no visit, nothing...

I have life a similar story and it was the more difficult part in the divorce and after it...

[Elen]

  #1  when you marry your fiancee and she has a child under 21, and the child (teen daughter) becomes your stepdaughter, but do you need to follow up with an adoption process  to be your "legal" stepdaughter?

 Adoption would make her your legal daughter and you would be her "legal ' father  - with all  consequences for both sides of such a decision ( for mother it could mean not only support of a child in a case after a divorce but a "fight" in a court for custody of her child as well - not that thing which Russian women used to .  )

There is no need in other procedure to be her stepfather except to marry her mother

 To make such important step like an adoption you should be sure in your future ( for a case of diorse as well)  and should have a good will of four people - your own, her mother, a child if she/he is older than N years ( in Russian it's 9 years old if I'm recall right) and a good will of biological father to abandone completely his rights ( if there is such of a kind at a scene)

 I personally would not "allow" an adoption if a child was already in teen ages.


Ps To Bruno There is nothing good in situation when you have your rights ONLY because of law and court verdict without any good will of biological mother about your meetings with a child

[Jet]

SS# is best to get within 4 weeks of fiancee's arrival in US. It saves a bunch of headaches to take care of it early, including being able to file taxes correctly on time rather than amending return later. If you wait til after you marry, you'll actually have to wait until after filing AoS paperwork to be able to prove her status. Elen's adoption explanation is correct. Once you adopt, the girl is no longer stepdaughter, but daughter, with all the rights and responsibilities that go along with that - it is a huge step that you need to be very very sure of, and everyone involved should be consulted and in agreement.

[jj]

Thanks for input everyone.  I will get SS#  while on fiancee visa before marriage.Then go back and change name on card after married.  Also daughter will be 20 years old this year anyway so a little more than one year away from 21 and adult status so will leave adoption situation alone.  I just wanted to find how most of you married with step kids handled this. thanks-jj

[jj]

also her biological dad doesn't care and not responsible. Plus at her age I do not believe any consent is needed in Russia.

[Gator]

American government requires the biological father's consent.  I am not sure if the cutoff is 18 or 21.

[START2]

jj,
  jet is correct. get the ss# soon. I didn't and it wasn't that there was a headache to get one, you just have to wait much longer when you apply later. I thought it would be more of a hassle to change the name so we waited. Well, I was wrong. I think it's agreed to wait 2-4 weeks after she's here, that way it gives proper time for her info to go through channels in the network after she receives her I-94 at POE.
  When you adopt, she is your daughter not step-daughter. Woops, a few beat me to it.

[William3rd]

18? what kind of discussion is this? 

If you want to adopt an adult, you can go do that although why is always a good question.

CA child support obligations for children-including adoptive-goes to 18 or up to 19 if still completing high school. And that is the REAL issue. If the marriage lasts, the child knows who "Dad" is without the paperwork. If it doesnt, then you will be thankful that you didnt adopt. As for that one in a million that doesnt get visitation. . . . insignificant numbers complain about that issue.

Adoptions in most jurisdictions will require that the bio father be heard on the issue- at least notified of the proceedings.

[jj]

thanks again for input.  Good information. 

WilliamIII  - My original statement was "do you need to follow up with an adoption process"  . Not that I think I should or want to.  I just needed to know what is customary out of my ignorance in that one area.  So I am not jumping on a bandwagon to adopt an almost adult.  I don't remember reading any posts on that subject before, but I may have missed one.  but anyway, thanks for info. -jj

[William3rd]

no problemo- I think I was reading more what I was expecting to read than what you meant

Actually, there is some decent information in this thread. . . .

[Muckraker]

jj, you may wish to ask what is the effect of your K-2 step-daughter turning 21 before AOS is granted.

Muck

[Jet]

jj, you may wish to ask what is the effect of your K-2 step-daughter turning 21 before AOS is granted.

Muck

Excellent point! When I answered the question initially, I was mistakenly assuming it was in regard to a younger child. Running up against the 21 yr old "wall" has it's own set of problems to contend with, but I think Muck or William3rd would have more insight into these particular  peculiarities 

[William3rd]

there are several benchmarks in immigration land when it comes to children. Most common are 16, 18 and 21. 16 for adoptions, 18 for step status by marriage and 21 for a K2 derivative to AOS after the K1 marriage.

[jj]

I guess that SS# for daughter should be done at the same time as fiancee? -jj

[Voyageur]

jj,

I am not exactly sure, but I think that - unless the stepchild is of working age and has a valid work authorization or you have paid for the EAD (form I-765) - that getting a child's SSN must wait until the first green card is issued.

[catzenmouse]

Voyager is correct. No SSN for child to begin with. Depending on arrival time related to tax time you can file for an ITIN when you file your taxes.

Ken

[William3rd]

you can get an ead (I765) for a child with the AOS filing and then get the ss# unless the rules changed again in the last couple of months

[catzenmouse]

Tis true. I always found it funny that you could get a work permit for a child who would be legally unable to work. Just a BS way to get a few hundred more bucks out of you.

Ken

[William3rd]

It just made it easy to get the SS# and file the tax returns w/o TIN crap. Its just another filing fee cause I always looked at a proper AOS filing to include the AP and EAD. At least you had the child's A# w/o any fuss. . . .

[catzenmouse]

Yes, I can see that as a logical way to look at it for the next step. I'm just still pissed at them for making us file (and pay) 3 times for Sergei's GC due to their ineptitude. I have a real problem with paying for the same thing multiple times.

Ken