Credibility Factors

[KenC]

I/O,
You gotta remember that Photodude is the guy that rewrote his entire trip report.  He went from confused and bewildered in the first version to meeting the love of his life in the second version.  Talk about lack of credibility, he is the KING!
KenC

[I/O]

I/O,
You gotta remember that Photodude is the guy that rewrote his entire trip report.  He went from confused and bewildered in the first version to meeting the love of his life in the second version.  Talk about lack of credibility, he is the KING!
KenC

Nahhhhhhhhh I'm too confused trying to tone down my style and make it more palatable (For some) to remember facts like that.

I/O

[Bruno]

Funny topic... Credibility on the internet 

Because of the particular nature of internet, a good liar can be perfectly credible... people seek the truth but all they find are good story/post who seem credible... Is it true or not is something other... and it is why some members here use other method that the internet... they meet, they phone each other... these other method are good for raise the credibility...

From the Stanford University :

Prominence-Interpretation Theory : Explaining how people assess credibility online

Prominence x Interpretation = Credibility Impact

Prominence : ( likehood that a element will be noticed or perceived )
- Involvement ( motivation )
- Topic
- Task ( seeking information, seeking amusement, business transaction, ... )
- Experience ( novices vs. expert )
- Individual differences ( literacy level, need for cognition, style,... )

Interpretation : ( person's judgment about a element )
- Assumptions ( cultue, past experience, heuristic, etc... )
- Skill/Knowledge ( user level of competence in the subject matter )
- Context ( user's environment, user expectations, situational norms, etc... )

[BC]

Because of the particular nature of internet, a good liar can be perfectly credible... people seek the truth but all they find are good story/post who seem credible...

Bruno,

A lie is very difficult to uphold in the long run, even on the net. If someone feels compelled to lie in a more or less anonymous forum there are probably other character defects that will ensue that can be easily detected which will unravel the real story.

We've seen it many times and in many forms here.

[jb]

P/G;

Your post caused me to spit coffee all over my keyboard.   

[BC]

A poster might be a sage mentor, until you eventually realize
his values are completely different from your own. Credibility
can't thrive in an atmosphere of defensiveness and
bravado.

The different values are exactly those that one should look for comprehend. Change the 'and' in your second sentence to 'or' and I might agree with you.

[Bruno]

A lie is very difficult to uphold in the long run...

Yep... and i think that it is why newbies have very difficult to win credibility here... only with time, they will be able to build some credibility...

But in a forum like these, credibility is a minor factor... credibility can be used for formal information like hotel, plane, etc... but all who is related to meaning, relationship, etc... are more personal experience who is only perfect for the original poster...

A man married to a Moscow woman will always say that the Moscow women are the best... the one married to a Siberian will say the same for siberian girls... both will be credible, both will say the truth... but all will be based on personal feeling...

A newbies don't need seek post from the more credible member... he need browse ALL the post and collect elements who seem perfect for him and his own situation... members give the basic elements, it is the work of the newbies to build his "house"... following blindly advice from the more credible members can only lead to a possible catastrophe... people need to learn use own brain and not be so much passif !

[Daveman]

Here's something which may be a little interesting. At least it is to me.

When I found this place, I had two trips, 3.5 months under my belt in Ukraine, and two 'failures' (though I don't really see them as failures, more of just life experiences).  I *thought* I had a little experience to bring to the table here to help someone else.  When I first began reading posts here, much of what was being posted about "Russian" women, I had simply never seen in real life.  I had been with two Ukrainian girls who showed few of the traits or habits, etc, spoke very good, and fluent English.  In hindsight, they were in most ways more 'western', for lack of a better term.  They could cook amazing Ukrainian and Russian dishes, but the girls, themselves, understood many things about the west and were almost like American girls, especially the second one. There were differences, of course, but overall, it was like being with a western girl who had a few strange opinions, who could speak Russian (If that makes any sense at all).

I thought the many of the guys who I now see as "credible", were simply blowing smoke because I had been there, done that, and I KNEW 'this is false' or 'this is exaggerated' ... I even doubted some guys were truly married, but these same guys were also giving good advice, e.g., whopping someone with the clue bat for rushing into this process, and especially marriage.

But as I am rapidly learning,  my first two experiences with FSU ladies really have little I can draw from to guide me with my current situation.  I am literally back at 'square one' so to speak.  I don't completely discount my past experience, but it's like having two amaretto sours, and then trying to drink straight Golden Grain. 

My point here is this... There can be vast differences in actual experiences as well as the ladies themselves, meaning, there are no absolutes in 'Credibility'. Sometimes we need to evaluate and then reevaluate our OWN real knowledge in a given area, prior to giving advice, and secondly, we must be open to a change in our own thought processes if we hope to find real success.

Credibility in one area doesn't lend credibility in another.  I am sure some of my stories about my prior experience would seem completely incredible to the guys dating or married to "real Russian" ladies, and conversely, yours did seem incredible to me -- until I met a lady who is more like that.  Glean from that what you can.

There should be a 'credible' handbook on this process.   

Two things I have learned: First, the older I get, the smarter my father has become, and second, I really don't know sh!t about anything Russian.

FWIW,
Dave

[Bruno]

P/G;
Your post caused me to spit coffee all over my keyboard.   

JB, can you explain me what is the interest of a reply like you...

If you don't agree with some point of the P/G post, why don't you explain them from you point of view... give counter arguments... If you are not able to make it, simply don't post...

From the 3 reply to P/G, only I/O have make a partial reply with "P/G From what I can glean from your post, you think nobody here is truly credible and you don't think facts are very important, you simply feel that it should be delivered politely."...

If a new member begin read these topic, he will think that the T/G is good writted and see that the limited reply from other was only hidden attack... for a newbie, he will seem to have more credibility that you...

Never forget that some newbies never become members... they type own question in Google, and receive links... here, you have a lot of traffic from non members... some are certainly for short stay, seeking the reply to a specific question... they don't know the historic of old members and judge the validity of post on the recent event... or simply on what is wrote in the topic...

You have a great credibility by the old membership but by acting like so, you will have a low credibility for newbies... maybe you don't care and you are happy with old members who reconize your value... But remember that the old membership don't need our advice, they are already married or enough far on the way to hapiness... these who need our help are the newbies, these who don't know you, these who don't know that between the sh!t that you post, they will find the real diamond...

[William3rd]

Thank you for the definition, Bruce.

[jb]

Bruno,

If you don't agree with some point of the P/G post, why don't you explain them from you point of view... give counter arguments...

P/G has demonstrated time and time again that he does not take advice, or as you call it, "counter argument" well.  His mind is already made up,,, and there is nothing you, I, or anybody else, can say that will sway him one iota.  He does not want a critique of his thoughts, plans, and actions, he is merely here for affirmation.  And even that must be delivered in the most polite terms or he gets his panties in a knot.

PhotoGuy is probably the least credible of the lot.

The rest of your post was pretty much unintelligible,,, something about newbies and snoopers that get the wrong impression if they read my posts???   Bruno, put that crack pipe down...

[Sculler]

Bruno,

Your quote from Stanford University reminds me of the scene from "Dead Poet's Society" where, after having a student read a formula for rating good and bad poetry, Professor Keating (Robin Williams) told the students to rip that page out of their book. Credibility, like poetry, cannot be distilled into a formula. So stand on your desk and rip that page out of your book!

As a newbie on this site, and in the RW dating scene, I place credibility with those that have "walked the walk", of which there are many here.

1x

[Bruno]

Bruno,

P/G has demonstrated time and time again that he does not take advice, or as you call it, "counter argument" well.  His mind is already made up,,, and there is nothing you, I, or anybody else, can say that will sway him one iota.  He does not want a critique of his thoughts, plans, and actions, he is merely here for affirmation.  And even that must be delivered in the most polite terms or he gets his panties in a knot.

That P/G will not listen is a minor problem... a reply to a post of P/G is not only see by T/G but by several hundred of people... a constructive reply will not be for P/G but for the numerous other...

The rest of your post was pretty much unintelligible,,, something about newbies and snoopers that get the wrong impression if they read my posts???

 

Yep, sorry for my english... it is only my 3th language...

My point was that by your reply to T/G in these topic, any newbies will give more credibility to T/G that to you... laughting at the post of someone is not the way to show that he was wrong !

Myself, i have need almost one year to understand that you was a man with credibility... the same result have can be reach in a few weeks if you have not packaged your "diamond" with "sh!t"...

[Bruno]

I place credibility with those that have "walked the walk"

Whooowwwwwwww...

I have certainly a lot of credibility... i am at my secound round 

First round : Agency owner, date Russian girls, marry one, live with her and her child, divorce her...
Second round : Again agency owner, date Ukrainian girls, fiancé to one... the rest is for the future...

NO, i have no more credibility to other... maybe some more experience that some newbies but by example, my personal experience about Russia begin to date a little... last time was around 4 year ago... in country like in FSU, 4 year is a lot of time and a lot of change appear... so, i am not more really up-to-date for Russia... but more fresh about Ukraine...

Credibility is one thing but never sacrifice your critic spirit... when i say "critic", it is mainly in the meaning of the French word "critique"... not something negatif like in US language ( hostility or disagreement )...

"criticism is a form of communication in which a person tries to correct the behavior of another in a non-authoritarian way"
"κριτής, krités : a person who offers reasoned judgement or analysis, value judgement, interpretation, or observation"

PS : Welcome to RWD... time for make your shopping... a little of "JB" if you have your feet on the ground, a little "Turbo" if you are the romantic type, a little "Dan" if you are the analytic type, a little of "Kuna" if you wish very fresh ingredient, a little of "Elen" for taste the strong Russian, a little of "Tigerpaws" if you are rich, a little of "BC" if you are a moderated person...

So, i don't use credibility for make MY perfect formula... time have allow me to know each members here and see the good side from each of them... no one is perfect or is more credible that a other... each have his quality... on RWD, no one have the magical solution for you... but the RWD, with the whole membership, can allow you to find all the piece needed for find your happiness

[Sculler]

Bruno,

Your story was one of the first I read in this forum. It is a valuable lesson for people heading down the path with RW.

 "...a little of "JB" if you have your feet on the ground, a little "Turbo" if you are the romantic type, a little "Dan" if you are the analytic type, a little of "Kuna" if you wish very fresh ingredient, a little of "Elen" for taste the strong Russian, a little of "Tigerpaws" if you are rich, a little of "BC" if you are a moderated person..."

Sounds like one heck of a recipe, hopefully one for success!

1x

[Bruno]

Your story was one of the first I read in this forum. It is a valuable lesson for people heading down the path with RW.

It can happen to everybody but don't become parano...

Sounds like one heck of a recipe, hopefully one for success!

You have all ingredient needed on RWD for make a success recipe... but the main factor is the cook... Same with the best ingredient, a bad cook cannot make a go meal... and surprise, you are the cook !!! Success will be a result of your work helped by post/advice of other... but the main factor will always be you...

Several of the old members, the credible one, will repeat you a lot of time : "make your home work"... in French, we say : "Aide toi et le ciel t'aidera"

[acrzybear]

To quote Sir Walter Scott

 From Marmion, Canto VI. Stanza 17 :

Yet Clare's sharp questions must I shun,
Must separate Constance from the nun
Oh! what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive! A Palmer too!
No wonder why
I felt rebuked beneath his eye;

I just wonder about the true intentions of a person that spends 10 years "searching" for a significant other with no success, either they are extremly unlucky or have another agenda.

  If a guy wants to just sample the fruits of another country, then that's his business, but to tell everyone you are looking for a life partner when you are not is a lie.

You have to be honest with yourself first and foremost!!

but I',m just a simple civil servent, so what do I know :selfharm:

[Mamma D]

P/G From what I can glean from your post, you think nobody here is truly credible and you don't think facts are very important, you simply feel that it should be delivered politely.
I/O

 Maybe, just maybe, a message delivered  politely is more likely to be considered....and not as likely to be dumped in the trash bin or deleted!

Take what you can use and dis-regard the rest....Trust your instincts, trust how you feel.....Remember it is YOU... no one else that will live with the results of your decision.

[I/O]

Maybe, just maybe, a message delivered  politely is more likely to be considered....and not as likely to be dumped in the trash bin or deleted!

Mamma D:  Yes, in many, perhaps most cases you are entirely correct, but unfortunately not all cases.  My fathers "Clue Bat" was his leather belt, which he used very sparingly, but could use with the speed and ferocity to rival any gun fighter.  I thank him for it now.  The older I become, the wiser HE is.

I/O

[ScottinCrimea]

    The problem with many newbies, and in fact with many who have been here awhile, is that they are inclined to see as credible those who say what they want to hear or express opinions that they agree with.  I think it's human nature to go where we feel the most comfortable and then stay there until some external element forces us to move.  It's like a dog who, if he finds a comfortable spot, will stay there until he is either kicked in the ass or until the smell of a bitch in heat wafts in his direction.
     Sometimes it's hard to keep an open mind when people keep dumping sh!t into it.  There has to be a filter somewhere and it takes time and the williingness to learn to know who and what needs to be filtered out.  I also feel, as has been stated before, that each of us here needs to know our areas of expertise and the limits of our personal experience.  For example, I have only dated one Ukrainian woman, my wife, so I can't say much about the dating scene.  I have been with her for 4 years, though, so I can talk about marriage to one, and I've been involved in many conversations with her and her female friends in addition to my many English language students so I do have some idea about how a variety of Russian/Ukrainian women think.  I've seen enough AM come through here looking for a wife/good time that I can make some comments on what I see did and didn't work for them.  I've lived in Ukraine for over two years so I can say something about life here and what it feels like adjusting to a new culture from the other side.  My experience with travel to Russia is limited to the inside of the airport, so not much I can offer on that.  As far as dating and being married/divorced to AW, I have the sad fortune of having earned my stripes as an expert there.  :crackthewhip: :crackthewhip: :crackthewhip:  In just about everything else I'm still a newbie and learning lots from many contributors here.  As the saying goes, When you stop learning, you start dying".

[Gator]

IMO credibility comes down to one parameter:  content.  

When I read something I guess I subconsciously evaluate the person’s understanding of the situation, the crispness of their analysis, quoted sources if any, and the logic of their conclusions.  

Added credit is probably given if there is no apparent bias, recognition that few things are black or white, acknowledgment of others’ positions, acceptance that a man knows more about his own situation than anyone else and he has the liberty to pursue this endeavor as he chooses, etc.  

I do attach credence to experience with the topic, yet I have seen some idiots here with enough experience to know better.  

And if someone does give another some bad advice, there are many others who will step up and correct him, thus collectively vetting most of what is written here.

[HiTech]

From a Newbie to this forum but with 17 years bbs experience including running a very busy one for 10 years.

Credibility comes from posting information in a manner that is informative/teaching/helping vs trying to prove you are correct. This implies that one also is always trying to learn new things and hence open to other peoples ideas and the ability to admit when you are incorrect.

It also encompasses a lot of ideas already posted in this thread such as only posting on topics & subjects you have knowledge in. Along with never attacking a person but rather only discussing the ideas and views.

HiTech

[WmGO]

This is a very broad subject. There have been some good thoughts and points on this question. Here are a few of mine...

Life experience credibility.

FSU experience credibility.

WW experience credibility.

FSUW experience credibility.

Integrity credibility.

Morality credibility.

Tactfulness/respect credibility.

Not trying to lord over everyone else credibility.

Pecuniary interest credibility (caveat: mainly aimed at FSU owned agencies - they are virtually all crooked).

Gender credibility (sometimes this does apply).

Self justification/lack of seeking it credibility.

Age appropriate behavior credibility.

Been there done that credibility.

This list could go on for much longer because the question is somewhat subjective by it's very nature.......AND as someone pointed out the nature of internet forums is not conducive to complete real life tests of "credibility".....AND people posting on internet forums are often not anything like what they are in real life.....readers are left with just reading type written words and it is human nature to make assumptions about them which can easily be far from reality.....and of course everyone has their own kind of posting style.....in addition I am sure there will always be some element of self justification involved in even responding to a thread of this nature....after all, All is vanity....

....but this reminds me of a fellow who was a regular poster on the old PL who posted on everything about the FSU and FSUW....then one day someone asked him how many times he had been there and how many FSUW he had dated.....and the answer was "none" on both accounts! Kind of funny, but I guess it is the nature of the internet...anyone can say anything they want to....that is why it is best to take whatever is said with a grain of salt.... except this:

HAPPY EASTER!!!








 

[Photo Guy]

The different values are exactly those that one should look for comprehend. Change the 'and' in your second sentence to 'or' and I might agree with you.

Actually, in a forum like this with many members, both are true and
both are commonplace at the same time, seven members might display
bravado and a posture of condescending wisdom, while others may
display defensiveness or even timidity. ...so I used 'and' in reference to
the forum in general.
When I see a particular individual espousing the virtues of
academia while degrading the value of kindness, I conclude
that the poster is too different from me to take very seriously,
even though he might have a high degree of 'credibility'.
So, for me, 'useful advise' is a separate issue from credibility
and also more important.

[Photo Guy]

jb, you are what you are. Some can see you more clearly than others...