a good woman, just not a 10

[Son of Clyde]

My wife has a widowed friend age 46 who is a school teacher. A very fine woman. Truth is, she is not a 10 in the looks department, maybe a 6 or 7.

We have told several guys about her and they were all gracious  but I could tell they were not interested. It is after all their choice and their life.

How does one handle this situation wanting their friend to meet a decent AM but she is not a perfect looking woman? We really want her to experience the US and meet a decent guy.

As far as I know this woman has never tried a marriage agency. Maybe this is the way to go.

Thank you.

[TwoBitBandit]

My wife has a widowed friend age 46 who is a school teacher. A very fine woman. Truth is, she is not a 10 in the looks department, maybe a 6 or 7.

We have told several guys about her and they were all gracious  but I could tell they were not interested. It is after all their choice and their life.

How does one handle this situation wanting their friend to meet a decent AM but she is not a perfect looking woman? We really want her to experience the US and meet a decent guy.

As far as I know this woman has never tried a marriage agency. Maybe this is the way to go.

Thank you.

I've seen a fair amount of what goes on at these marriage agencies.  I think that a woman over 40 who is not a 9 or a 10 (for her age) has almost zero chance.

I'm sure your friend is a fine lady with good character, I'm just pessimistic based on what I've seen.

[ScottinCrimea]

I know several women here in Simferopol who are in this category.  In fact, one of them is the lady who married my wife and I and is now a great friend.  They are great ladies, just not 20 years old and not 10's.  I have to agree that unfortunately their chances are not good.  I think that's why some younger FSU women will settle for a loser, either RM or AM, because they are terrified they will end up the same way if they wait too long.

[Vaughn]

    Clyde, if I were searching today, she'd be in my age range. Call me a part of
a splinter group if you will, but a younger hottie was never in my plans nor hopes.

    I'll be the first to admit that my own beloved wife isn't a 10 - and I'm no
George Clooney. While I have a definite appreciation for external beauty, in
my book it ranks low on the list of attributes I consider valuable in realizing
a compatible life partner. Looks spoil like vegetables over time. I'll admit that
I noticed my Elvira had a way cute shape even at 37 after one child - and
figured she's more likely to retain that than another younger lady who still
hadn't experienced pregnancy or the effects of time.

    This lady just might be beautiful in another's eyes, as my Elvira is to me.
She might try an agency profile, or remain forever anonymous...

Vaughn
 

[BC]

My wife had a few friends 'ask'..

We decided to sort of ignore the issue and not try to hang noodles.  Chances of success are so slim anyway we would likely get egg on our face by trying to help out in any way, fashion or form.

10 or not.. here it's 'hands off'.

[Jazzyclassy]

Very funny to watch this situation when old guys are talking about women probably in their 40-50 as a old stuff material and of their bad chances to meet someone good,

am sorry if not you and your friends, there will be some  guys who will evaluate them , there are some category of wise men who look deep inside the women , of course appearance is important but I believe the women you talk about are lovely one maybe they are not super beautiful but still pretty

One should not have such negative and sad feeling about them that they have low chances to meet anybody who could appreciate them

ahhhhhh what can I say ..... stamps and labels and prejudice are existing in your mind and you point at the others.....

[Elen]

You are amazingly "optimistic" today, boys.
 I counted to find here usual cheerleaders' posts with proclamation some ideas like ages didn't matter, personality mattered more than a look and etc And here  you are with "hands off"

So what's "her" main problem - ages,( there are enough males in this business who are 10 years older than she)  not model look ( truth tell there are little Apolons among you, boys too ) or a lack of "decent" guys in principle matter among those who are looking for wives in FSU abroad?

[Rvrwind]

Yes, Unfortunatly SoC chances are very slim about a million to one actually.
I have several registered that I don't think are bad looking ladies myself. Personality wise they are great. The problem is, they're over 40! AM's don't even begin to shop in that group, even when they are 60+ plus & butt ugly themselves. They been sucking up that agency hype for so long they actually believe it.
However, if she wasn't dead set on the US I find that European men have more common sense & actually once they hit 50 they prefer a woman in her 40-50's. Maybe it a cultural thing but I doubt it greatly. I have a few guys from Europe & they are all writing to the 40+ women. Seems the Dutch, Germans & Portugese men know how to think with their big heads.
The other caveat would be wieght. They don't mind the older ladies but they don't like them exessivly overwieght. The slim ones are getting 95% of the action!

[Son of Clyde]

She is not a small woman, but it is solid weight so she looks very athletic in build. Not a bad shape at all. I would say her shape is well above average for a mid 40's woman. My wife is dead set on her friend joining us in the US. Not sure she is being realistic. Richard, did you have any European guys in mind? I can discuss things with my wife and maybe email you a picture. I know you may no longer be in the business but maybe you have contacts. Thanks for all the advice.

[TwoBitBandit]

Very funny to watch this situation when old guys are talking about women probably in their 40-50 as a old stuff material and of their bad chances to meet someone good,

[...]

One should not have such negative and sad feeling about them that they have low chances to meet anybody who could appreciate them

So what's "her" main problem - ages,( there are enough males in this business who are 10 years older than she)  not model look ( truth tell there are little Apolons among you, boys too ) or a lack of "decent" guys in principle matter among those who are looking for wives in FSU abroad?

I'm so glad that this board has an eye-rolling icon. 

Women are a little smarter than men.  They look at a guy and ask themselves "Is he good man?  Will my friends and family respect him?  Will he be a good father?  Is he an upstanding member of his community? Does he drink too much? ...and so on."  Women like good-looking guys, but they look at the whole package more.

Men aren't like that so much (although the smart ones look a little deeper).  A man sees a hot girl, and says to himself "wow, she's hot" and runs after her like a dog dripping saliva on the pavement.  You can complain about it all you want, but that's the way men are wired.  Richard is right on, his opinion is exactly what I have seen myself among guys chasing girls in the FSU.

Even if there is a good girl in her forties like Clyde's friend, she's got an amazing amount of competition and not many guys looking.  The guys that Richard is describing--guys who are thinking with their big head and are looking at 40+ year-olds--are still looking for thin attractive feminine ones with long hair.

A good, sincere girl that is a six or seven on the looks scale in her twenties has some chance to find a good foreign man.  The same girl in her forties has almost no chance.  You can complain about how shallow that is all you want, but that's the truth of the situation.

[jb]

Why not try to hook her up with wiz?  Maybe if you emailed him some pictures some sparks might fly.

[Jazzyclassy]

Why not try to hook her up with wiz?  Maybe if you emailed him some pictures some sparks might fly.

Oh I agree , I am positive about that:))

[Jazzyclassy]

    You can complain about it all you want, but that's the way men are wired.         

Absolutely and that is not women problem , that is men problem

  You can complain about how shallow that is all you want, but that's the truth of the situation. 

If that is the situation then wise women should be out of such situation for sure

Gotta pay attention to the other men who are worthy of her attention and who are  worth to be with .......

[Son of Clyde]

Wiz is free to send a pm. I should mention, she speaks no English.

[mspanky]

Yes, Unfortunatly SoC chances are very slim about a million to one actually.
I have several registered that I don't think are bad looking ladies myself. Personality wise they are great. The problem is, they're over 40! AM's don't even begin to shop in that group, even when they are 60+ plus & butt ugly themselves. They been sucking up that agency hype for so long they actually believe it.
However, if she wasn't dead set on the US I find that European men have more common sense & actually once they hit 50 they prefer a woman in her 40-50's. Maybe it a cultural thing but I doubt it greatly. I have a few guys from Europe & they are all writing to the 40+ women. Seems the Dutch, Germans & Portugese men know how to think with their big heads.
The other caveat would be wieght. They don't mind the older ladies but they don't like them exessivly overwieght. The slim ones are getting 95% of the action!

   This is very ironic since the argument here is usually AGE SHOULD NOT MATTER! But it does if she is over 40. Men will never admit it, but many seek foreign women because they want younger so age for them does matter. They are just angry when age begins to matter to beautiful Natasha once she is in the United States and realizes she can get a guy who is young and successful. Who would have thought?

   As for all American men only wanting younger. have your wife's friend go to many dating websites in the U.S. There are tons of American guys there looking for women their age. Hell after all those fat over 40 women on those website. She may find if she is still in shape that she is in the drivers seat when it comes to picking the guys. "ww.plentyoffish.com is free.A friend of mine who is a real great guy of 44 just married a girl who he met on a dating website. She is a 42 year old  woman who lived in Japan and not really cute at all. But he was very much in love with her as he says she is different from any woman he has ever met and has a great personality.. Before her, he was engaged to a 28 year old American blond who was about an 8+ in looks, but had a lousy personality. So the majority of American men not looking overseas are very open to a woman close to their age or some will even not mind if she is older as 30% of American marriages have older woman /younger men combos.

[Son of Clyde]

The way I was looking at it, I am not Robert Redford, so if a woman was interested in meeting me, and looked like a good woman, I continued corresponding until she broke it off.

There were several I just saw as being scammers (from the second letter) so I would end the dialog quickly.

My wife lost track of me for two weeks, when I was too busy to write to her, and had a member of her family phone me in the US to see if I was ok. This was a huge green flag.

[jb]

   This is very ironic since the argument here is usually AGE SHOULD NOT MATTER! But it does if she is over 40. Men will never admit it, but many seek foreign women because they want younger so age for them does matter.

That's not necessarily true.   I, for one, married a woman over 40 and I'm as happy as a clam with her.   Even at 50 she still looks better than most 25 y.o.'s out there.  Some of you older guys need to get your head out of that orifice which is giving you that sh!tty outlook on life after 50.

[Daveman]

The first woman with whom I corresponded in this venture was my age (42) at the time.  She was a fantastic woman as far as I could tell.  Probably about a 6-7 to most guys, but I thought she was great. Good enough to where "having a child" actually fell to the back burner though she also said she wanted to try.  The reason it didn't work?  Some other guy went to meet her first, and I guess they got serious/married/whatever.  So, there were at least two men interested in her.

I also met the people at my girl's agency. While I was there, I met/saw four or five women who were well into their 40's writing responses to letters.  So unless their correspondents were game players, these ladies had real interest from men abroad as well.  They were both rather shapely too, which goes right along with what Rvrwind mentions from his hands on experience.

I do agree though, that it's probably not a good idea to try your hand at matchmaking in this area.  No good deed goes unpunished, especially in matchmaking - local or abroad.

Dave

[BC]

That's not necessarily true.   I, for one, married a woman over 40 and I'm as happy as a clam with her.   Even at 50 she still looks better than most 25 y.o.'s out there.  Some of you older guys need to get your head out of that orifice which is giving you that sh!tty outlook on life after 50.

jb,

There is a huge difference between getting what you want and being given what you got.  The latter are indeed the happier of the lot.

IMHO

Elen,

my 'hands off' remark was regardless of age..

[Elen]

My remark "hands off" was about males' attitude in general to women of such ages/looks

[Daveman]

Also, I would add here that if she does decide to post a profile at an agency, that she get some competent assistance in creating/writing it. I think the better quality of guys actually do read them. Not just what she wants in someone, but like a first mini-letter of introduction, geared specifically towards that exact kind of man she wants in her life, like writing a letter directly to him.  Regardless of the quantity of action she may or may not receive, she needs only that one good, quality, compatible response to completely change her life.  Even if it takes 6 months or a year or two to get it, wouldn't it be worth giving it a shot???  I think so.

Dave

[BC]

My remark "hands off" was about males' attitude in general to women of such ages/looks

ogo..

[Jet]

My wife had a few friends 'ask'..

We decided to sort of ignore the issue and not try to hang noodles.  Chances of success are so slim anyway we would likely get egg on our face by trying to help out in any way, fashion or form.

10 or not.. here it's 'hands off'.

Our philosophy as well!
Clyde, we've heard a lot about what your wife wants, but nothing about what her friend wants. If the friend isn't willing to absolutely "bust @ss" doing what needs to be done with less that a one-in-a-million chance of it paying off, then it's not even worth discussing possibilities because there are none to discuss.

[BC]

Regardless of the quantity of action she may or may not receive, she needs only that one good, quality, compatible response to completely change her life.

Dave,

For the better or worse...

Then the follow up question is how desperate would she be to grasp the few that do reply..

Sorry to be so pessimistic, but grasping at straws is grasping at straws.... there is little way around that.

Elen is right.. this realm in reality is quite simply 'hot or not'..

I'm more convinced every day that passes..

Fool me not.

[philb]

That's not necessarily true.   I, for one, married a woman over 40 and I'm as happy as a clam with her.   Even at 50 she still looks better than most 25 y.o.'s out there.  Some of you older guys need to get your head out of that orifice which is giving you that sh!tty outlook on life after 50.

I can think of more than a few people who need to commit this post to memory.