Back in the USA

[ScottinCrimea]

I debated whether to post this in the trips section but decided it fits better here.  As most of you know I have been living in Crimea for the past two years.  About a week ago I returned to the US and I'm still undergoing culture shock.  I have a whole new perspective of life in the US. I see a lot of fat people eating a ton of diet food and getting fatter, I see kitchens and garages full of gadgets that are never used, I see families that only see each other in the evenings passing in the halls on their way to the computer or TV and extended families that only see each other on the obligatory holidays, I see exercise and sports equipment that only serve as a place to hang clothes, I see a consumerist, disposable society that boggles my mind, I see huge houses that are always empty, I see no one on the streets because everyone drives everywhere, even to the corner store, I see kids with too much freedom and too little respect, and the list goes on and on.  You who have never lived anywhere else can't comprehend how life can be different.  As much as I love my country, it has confirmed in my mind that, for me at least, Ukraine is a better fit for how I want my life to be.
     For those of you who don't know my story, I am in the process of getting my wife legal residency in the US, but for an entirely different purpose than any of you.  I feel it's important for her to spend time in the US beyond what she could have with a tourist visa.  I want her to experience life here and get to know my family.  I also feel that she will learn more about me if she has the chance to see me in my "own" environment. The plan is to get her residency then spend the next few years living part time in the US and part time in Ukraine before we settle down for life in Crimea.  I made the decision to return early to get everything set up for her.  Right now it's looking like we're still a couple of months away from her arriving here, which is longer than we had hoped, and I don't like the time apart, but on the other hand it's less than the time most of you are apart while you wait for the K1's.  I've read with interest the stories of those of you who have gone through the adjustment of having her move to the US and gotten some good pointers.  One advantage we will have is that we have lived together for over two years so we don't have to adjust to each other.  It's bound to be an interesting and unique experience.

[DKMM]

Sounds like you come from a crappy part of the country, no offense.

[ScottinCrimea]

I've spent time this trip in Texas and Utah and lived before in California and Arizona.  Which one specifically do you consider crappy?

[TexasBoar]

I can certainly speak in Scott's defense about fat people in Texas, lol.  Fattest city in the US? Houston.  State with the most cities on the "Top 20 Fattest Cities" list? Texas, with 5.  I'm pretty sure where JB and I live would've topped Houston, btw, if it were large enough to be considered a city.  People are HUGE here. 

As far as families only passing each other in the hall and all that other stuff, I'm not sure how he KNOWS that . . . x-ray vision, Scott? 

~Boar

[DKMM]

Well Texas since you asked.

That doesn't describe life in my city at all.  Not a single one of your lables applies.

[START2]

Well, the first part of his story hit the nail on the head. As you were walking to baggage claim, that wasn't a 3.5 earthquake you felt under your feet. It was that woman behind you eating a triple cheese burger and a supersize fry and drinking a diet coke.

[ScottinCrimea]

I'm curious DKMM.  You live in a city where there are no fat people, no garages, no one has a big house, all families share every evening together and you have never seen a gun carried by anyone but police or military. Where is this magical place?

[El Rock]

My lady  arrived form Kiev last month , she was amazed at the size of people and  food servings  in restaurants .

My sister lives in Brownsville  , Tx ,I  was  there in Sept  , last year , I was amazed  at the amount of fat people .            My sister weighs  around  300 pounds , maybe 275 , she wont tell .
Texas is a whole nother  place  , unlike any other  state .   

[El Rock]

Well Texas since you asked.

That doesn't describe life in my city at all.  Not a single one of your lables applies.

If you were to look for it , you'd find it .
What city are you in , or , what's the population ??

[Kuna]

DKMM,

You must be living in Utopia...  No waste of resources...  NO fat people...  people happy all the time... skipping through the unpolluted fields and generally enjoying their increased relaxation time.

I bet everyone gets a world class education, no one suffers from not having healthcare, there's no drug problems and no wife ever gets beaten...

If you read what Scott says you might learn something about your country.  He's obviously not Anti-US but he might just have a different perspective to share after living in Ukraine.

I'm Australian and damn proud of it but I'm intelligent enough to acknowledge the weaknesses of my country.

Anyone that thinks any country is Utopia is a God Damn Idiot. Hopefully there's enough good people in our countries working towards making them more like Utopia!

I have a lot of respect for you but I've seen some posts in the past few days that makes me wonder what's going on.  It's not the DKMM I've come to respect.

Sorry for sidetracking your thread Scott... I'll be eagerly awaiting your observations on your wife's transition.

Kuna

[wxman]

Just curious. How is Crimea compared to the rest of Ukraine? Pretty similar or different? Isn't it like an independent state within a country in some aspects?

[DKMM]

Portland Oregon.  We have fat people, but less than anywhere else in the USA.  We have mass transit comparable or better than most European cities.  People are happy here and mostly friendly.  The "ghetto" doesn't really exist here.  The main employer in town is Intel where they invented the processor that you all are using right now (about 3 miles from where I live, from the 486 to the current generation).  14,000 work there and the average wage is $90k+.  We have clean air, clean water and our schools are rated the highest in the nation.  Gun violence outside of a certain immigrant area is rare.  We have constantly been rated amongst the best cities for this and that (to have babies, most educated, sustainabilty etc.)  Our urban renewal system has been studied all over the world.

The European Institute for Urban Affairs considers Portland to be one of the world's most successful cities. In fact, we're the only American city to make the list.

Our city is open and inviting so come move here.  yes i've done my research as I still need to woo a woman to come live with me here. 

Sorry Kuna, but this whole experience has made me realize that I should be happy to live where I do.  If anything was off in my posts lately, you can blame the fact that I'm a tax accountant and this time of year is when we all go crazy.  God bless you all.

[Bruce]

I like all the States mentioned.  Find the rich areas and see the thinner people with the better values. 

[Gator]

Scott,

Interersting topic!

For sure America has problems, cretins, etc.  However, that does not mean you must embrace them.  America gives you diverse choices and the freedom to fairly well live the life you want, without the high taxation of Europe and with future security few places can offer.

How do you think your wife will feel after her visit here?  She has a vote too.  And she may very well see things that you and I overlook because we were born and raised here. 

My ex–fiancée loves travel and with me she saw America (NY, TX, CA, WI, PA, MD), Europe, Latin America, Asia, both large cities and remote locales.  Without me she has been to central Africa and Australia.  And when traveling, she is a participant and observer as well as a tourist.

In a very serious discussion, I asked her where she would like to live when we marry (I am retired and can live anywhere and like you Scott I am not married to the USA).  She said, without hesitation, my city in Florida.  She has children and part of her decision is for their benefit.  But most of it is based on how comfortable and invigorated she felt, the available opportunities, and the diversity (plus the weather).  She mentioned aspects that I take for granted.

Kuna, sorry guy, but she thought Sydney was a “big village”.  Perhaps you feel the same.

[Kuna]

Kuna, sorry guy, but she thought Sydney was a “big village”.  Perhaps you feel the same.

No need to apologise Gator... I wouldn't live in Sydney either... 

[ScottinCrimea]

DKMM, I've heard great things about Portland and what a nice city it is, and been there a few times.  They are doing a lot of things right, but all is not Utopia there.  I know the NE section of downtown can be downright dangerous to wander around in.  According to statistics, 59% or Oregonians are classified as overweight or obese, it has the highest rate of methamphetamine use in the nation and one of the highest rates of suicide.  I imagine if I had to put up with so many cloudy days I would probably be suicidal too. To be honest, I haven't really lived anywhere that I didn't like.  I think the point I want to make is that Americans don't really understand just how much of a culture of consumerism they live in.  There were many many things that I thought I couldn't live without until I moved to Ukraine.  Not only didn't I miss them, I was actually better off without them.  In the US people have to have the newest gadget, even if their old one works just fine.  If something breaks or gets a scratch on it, they don't reair it, they just buy a new one.  I see peole with four wheel drive vehicles that never take them out of the city.  Here in Utah a lot of peole have boats in their garages that they take out maybe 3-4 times a year.  Heck, I counted 7 boat motors in my dad's garage.  In Ukraine, I see people repairing things over and over and using tools that don't look so nice but work just fine.  Just look at the bankruptcy rate in the US and you get some idea of the problem.  It will definitely be interesting to see how my wife views things here.

[ScottinCrimea]

wxman,  Crimea is an Autonomous Republic within Ukraine, which gies it a little more control over its own affairs, but I really don't see any difference between it and the rest of Ukraine.  Some governmental issues are easier to get done because they don't have to go through Kiev, but that's about it.  The big difference is the geography and weather.  It is more diverse and is in my opinion the most beautiful place in Ukraine. The weather in Simferool is typically about 10 degrees F warmer than in Kiev and the Southwest coast is typically 10 degrees warmer than Simferopol.  Palm trees grow in Yalta. And of course we have the Black Sea, which adds to the appeal.

[Daveman]

Scott, after reading your original post, I took a walk through the house here to have a look around... 7 old workout machines (8 total, only use 1), one of them has clothes hung on it.  7 sets of older now unused golf clubs (excluding the new Pings of course), 14 old half disassembled computers, old printers etc (Tandy TRS 80 with cassette drive anyone?), 3 reel to reel decks, 2 8-track stereos (yeesh, did we really think those were state of the art at the time?) and I would guess at least 10 other old stereo components,  2 old lawn mowers and a horde of old lawn care tools no longer needed, at least 2 truckloads of Christmas decorations that haven't seen the light of day in years,  about 25-30 fishing poles and misc. fishing gear accumulated over the years (but, I don't care if I never use it, THAT ain't waste!), 4 entire rooms of the house that I probably have not entered in the last year, and now afraid to because I'm sure it would be an archaeological dig just to see what exactly is in there.... and that's just from walking though the garage/house/basement

so yeah, your observations are dead on for here too... fat (on no, not that nasty three letter word) epidemic as well.  I can't imagine how Texas could possibly be a 'fatter' state than Georgia..  and i see my extended family about twice a year at most...

I think these are some things we tend to overlook but I bet your wife notices them immediately.  I hope the process to bring her here runs the rest of the way without a snag.

Dave

[Kuna]

Scott, after reading your original post, I took a walk through the house here to have a look around... 7 old workout machines (8 total, only use 1), one of them has clothes hung on it.  7 sets of older now unused golf clubs (excluding the new Pings of course), 14 old half disassembled computers, old printers etc (Tandy TRS 80 with cassette drive anyone?), 3 reel to reel decks, 2 8-track stereos (yeesh, did we really think those were state of the art at the time?) and I would guess at least 10 other old stereo components,  2 old lawn mowers and a horde of old lawn care tools no longer needed, at least 2 truckloads of Christmas decorations that haven't seen the light of day in years,  about 25-30 fishing poles and misc. fishing gear accumulated over the years (but, I don't care if I never use it, THAT ain't waste!), 4 entire rooms of the house that I probably have not entered in the last year, and now afraid to because I'm sure it would be an archaeological dig just to see what exactly is in there.... and that's just from walking though the garage/house/basement

so yeah, your observations are dead on for here too... fat (on no, not that nasty three letter word) epidemic as well.  I can't imagine how Texas could possibly be a 'fatter' state than Georgia..  and i see my extended family about twice a year at most...

I think these are some things we tend to overlook but I bet your wife notices them immediately.  I hope the process to bring her here runs the rest of the way without a snag.

Dave

Dave,  You're not married yet???  I can see a HUGE clean-up coming on.   

[Daveman]

Dave,  You're not married yet???  I can see a HUGE clean-up coming on.   

Yeah, I'm having visions of Horns and Hind Ends for some reason... but, remember now,... this is stuff collected over a 25 year span... so she should understand that it will require 25 years to remove it ...can't screw up that parabolic symmetry.. :-) 

[DKMM]

Scott,
now i am agreeing with what you are saying.  That really does represent a lot of problems here, especially the throw away buy a new one on a credit card mentality.  Its american mentality that i despise the most about my country, which is a big reason I'm looking overseas for a bride.
Yes when you consider the statistics for the entire state there are problems, but those rates are lower in the city.  Portland is the only city in America over 500k that does not have a rising obesity rate.  Even then, when I came back from Russia the fat women was what I noticed too.  Disgusting.  You aren't kidding about the weather man, its not good.  Lucky for me its still much better than Russian weather.

Kuna,
I've heard amazing things about Brisbane and Melborne.  Surely you can toot the horn a bit?

[Kuna]

Kuna,
I've heard amazing things about Brisbane and Melborne.  Surely you can toot the horn a bit?

Toot the horn???  Hmmm.. I hope that's a langugae gap problem there DKMM.   

Brisbane is a fabulous city...  but some people don't like the "Big Country Town" feel. I personally like that you can talk to a stranger without seeing fear in their eyes like you see in Bigger cities like Sydney.

[jj]

I agree about our general increase in obesity in USA.  Some people eat to cope with stress.  Stress over the debt in credit cards they used to buy material things and gadgets.  Then they get diabetes or heart disease and get stressed out with that.  The McDonalds Restaurant I saw in Moscow and Kiev were one of the busiest restaurants in town, but the lifestyle of walking to go places, and rushing thru the metro burns off off the calories apparently!   Unfortunately the alcohol problem with many men in Russian and Ukraine shorten their lives there.  It is also alarming at the number of  AW who are taking up smoking now.    I have my times of having to watch my weight or charging up a credit card, but thank God I have 2 legs I can exercise with and tap home equity loan in emergency.   Although I  saw numerous Ukraine girls smoking, most of them were younger.  My girl is part Ukraine and part Russian, and she and her friends seem to be pretty health conscience and into healthy cooking.  (I didn't know you could make some things i did not like taste good!).     -jj

[Phil dAmore]

I understand exactly what you mean, Scott.

When I was in the US last September and October it took me about 2 weeks to adjust. 

What really got me was the massive amount of waste (not the massive waists!) that occurs on a daily basis.  People throwing away perfectly good items like lamps, tables, chairs and appliances simply because they are moving.  During the two months I was in Arizona I saw people throw out enough items to furnish my apartment and Nina's apartment twice over... And this is at just one apartment complex!

A visit to a typical supermarket made my jaw drop just from the sheer selection of items.  But look out back and see the huge amounts of food simply tossed away because it didn't sell that day.

Restaurants were no better.  On a trip to Las Vegas I saw the feeding troughs buffets stocked with huge amounts of... everything, most of it going uneaten.  What happens to all of that shrimp, lobster, steak, salad and all the rest once it's swept off the table?  As I understand it the casinos can't give it to food banks or shelters for fear of liability.  An absolute tragic waste.

While in the US I bought a lot of clothes... at my local thrift store.  There I picked up many items in nearly-new condition, some still had the original tags on them!  Why would someone pay the (often obscene) retail prices for clothing and then just toss them away without a second thought? When I was growing up, I wore my clothes until they either didn't fit any more or just fell apart.

If I had to choose one word to describe my view of the US after living in Russia for 5 years it would be: "Artificial"  Everything I saw seemed contrived, plastic and designed for the sole purpose of getting a person to spend money on stuff they didn't need, but thought they did.   

To me the message is quite clear... Consume or die.  And if you don't have the means to keep up, then you just don't deserve to exist.

Once I heard the word "Generica" used to describe the US today. I think it's appropriate.  Every place looked the same... same stores, restaurants, gas stations, malls, cars and houses.

That's not to say there weren't some things I enjoyed.  I liked being able to go into the DMV and an hour later walk out with a driver's license.  It was fun to take that brand-new license down to a local gun store and buy a Czech-made AK-47.  And it was wonderful to be in a place that, for all the stories about 'road rage', most people had sufficient knowledge required to properly operate and park a motor vehicle!  At no time did I see anyone park on the sidewalk or a crosswalk, make a left turn from the extreme right lane, or back up along a busy road because they missed an exit.

But mostly I saw a country that is so wrapped up in the culture of consumerism, so fat, dumb and happy with their own bought-on-credit lives that they pay no attention to much larger, more serious issues... But that's a subject for another post.

[LEGAL]

Holy crap Phil does that mean I shouldn't bring you oreos in the freshly sealed plastic pouch that keeps them until the year 2020     I remember how happy you were when I brought them last time Olga and I visited you.


LEGAL