What is it social skills in the West?

[Admin]

Scottin

I do not run any battles with Mirror and I speak in general terms like everybody else.
It is ONLY you who always refer any comments I make on the board to my recent relationship with Sofia. Get your tinted glasses off please. I am getting bored with you.



In the PS: I just gave the explanation that everybody had guessed anyway.

Scott is just like 99+% of the rest of the RWD members - and sick-to-death of seeing these personal charades on display.

The comment is not directed toward you, specifically, wiz - but is a general statement made toward the entire sordid situation.

- Dan

[Kuna]

Dan,

I won't try to defend wiz but I found it interesting that Sofia reappeared airing her personal agenda AGAIN within hours of a new member (Paris) posting her first post with a brutal character assassination of a member here.

I see that thread has been deleted (as has the Paris login) but is it not obvious what's happening?

Sofia isn't adding any value to our community and she has continually initiates arguments and sidetracks us from our shared interests.

Why is she here?

What does she have to do to be muted?

I know wiz thinks she should still be here but that's probably because they both use the posts here to try to manipulate each other in private.

In My Honest Opinion... Enough is enough... Someone's gotta go!

Kuna

[wiz]

Scott is just like 99+% of the rest of the RWD members - and sick-to-death of seeing these personal charades on display.

The comment is not directed toward you, specifically, wiz - but is a general statement made toward the entire sordid situation.

- Dan

Sorry Dan

I do not agree. Scottins comment made a direct link to me and despite that I have cleared my position and tried to avoid any reference to Mirrror he always make the same reference to my recent relationship.

I am fed up to my back teeth that I can not make any posts on RWD without him making the same comments and reference.

If you want me to stop posting on RWD, I will stop, but don't blame me for everything.


KUNA

How can I say to you very clearly to understand that I have moved on and I do not have any relationship with Sofia anymore!

Did you find my previous comments in General Terms or an Answer to Mirror?

I have no opinion or interest about Mirror to stay here or not.

[Admin]

Sorry Dan

I do not agree. Scottins comment made a direct link to me and despite that I have cleared my position and tried to avoid any reference to Mirrror he always make the same reference to my recent relationship.

I am fed up to my back teeth that I can not make any posts on RWD without him making the same comments and reference.

If you want me to stop posting on RWD, I will stop, but don't blame me for everything.


KUNA

How can I say to you very clearly to understand that I have moved on and I do not have any relationship with Sofia anymore!

Did you find my previous comments in General Terms or an Answer to Mirror?

I have no opinion or interest about Mirror to stay here or not.

wiz,

I am not blaming you - in fact, I specifically stated the comment was not directed at you. That you personalized it says something about YOUR interpretation of developments.

At the same time - I also pointed out that we are sick-and-tired of seeing these sorts of personal manipulations played out on the RWD stage. It is, quite candidly, a misuse of the service provided here. Read this carefully - I am NOT singling you out wiz. I am making a specific statement to no-one in particular. I hope that anyone who feels they are misusing the service, will pay heed and make immediate correction.

- Dan

[ScottinCrimea]

Wiz,
     As Admin stated, my comment was directed at everyone, as the game mirror was playing was obvious and I was disappointed that members were falling for.  Show me where I made a "direct link" to you.

Jet
Not only jealouse but made sure and killed any small chances of reconciliation between us!
She achieved her revenge!


PS: As everybody guessed, the second time questions made specific reference to a personal instant of mine, as reported to her by my previous Ex=G/F, after our relationship was over. (pack of lies of course )

Unfortunately, you chose to use the opportunity to play the same game by responding and taking a few defensive jabs at mirror.  As long as she continues to provoke a response from you, she will continue to play her games.  You should be smarter than that.

[mirror]

Everybody sees what he is able  to see. We can look at one thing and to see different sides of this thing. "OOOHH!Look how this tree is high!", "Where?","No....this tree is very small..."

For me to know the opinion  of another people is very important . Someone answered YES, another one-NO. But I'd like to understand how the most Western people thinks.
Of course I generalized  a situation with women- nothing personally.

Now I can find my OWN answer at my OWN exact question.

I am glad to have this posibility to communicate with Western men here in this board and to know more about Western mentality. I said about  this my wish from first place.

Everybody has own temperament and own reaction at situations but I think we are able to live and accept each other even here without battles.

[wiz]

Unfortunately, you chose to use the opportunity to play the same game by responding and taking a few defensive jabs at mirror.  As long as she continues to provoke a response from you, she will continue to play her games.  You should be smarter than that.

The comments you refer where not defencive jabs at mirror.

I was just stating the facts for the benefit of the other members.

[ScottinCrimea]

why in heck's name are you even still reading her posts?  What's the fascination? Just put her on ignore like I have done.

 

[Chelchov]

Since I don't read any mirror's posts since she is on my ignore list, I have read posts in the thread in response to her questions.  All I can say is.......  Who cares??? 

She's just making social skills much more complicated than necessary.   

Just like men, I can have female friends for coffee to talk.  I can have a lady to teach me some useful skills like learning the language.  I can find ladies who can help me to make my life easier.  In my work in the audiology field, I work with a Indian woman, few Chinese women and a Swedish lady.  They all are intelligent, wonderful to talk with and doing some interesting work.  I can have close friendships with them.  It's the same for family.             

Does this mean that I'm being unfaithful to my girlfriend or wife?  No.  Integrity and honesty is very important.  I don't do anything behind her back to insult her.  100% trust of each other is extremely important to have a harmonious and loving relationship.  Trust is a very basic foundation for a good relationship.         

I am just being who I am and I do what works best for me.  If she doesn't like it, too bad that's her problem, and she absolutely has no right to change or control me.  It's none of her business.  She should see and understand what I do naturally and instinctively with or without her and it's the way that I do.  That's the respect for who I am as a person.  That is what she is getting from me.  If she doesn't truly appreciate what I do, she better move on to another guy that she can respect much more.       

Being possessive and jealousy and a dictator in relationship is not healthy and does not do anything good for each other.  This is the sign of insecurity, lack of self-esteem and lack of respect and trust for others.     

Women are just human who just want to have happy and loving life, just like men.  Nothing special.  They just need love, appreciation and respect just like men.           

[ScottinCrimea]

Trust takes time to grow in a relationship, especially if one or the other has had someone betray that trust in the past.  The solution isn't to challenge her trust, it is to cultivate it.  Trust isn't something that is automatically given or comes as a result of love.

Especially in the beginning of a relationship, you take more care to avoid any situation that would call your faithfulness into question.  Over time, you can push things a little, but why would you want to?  Why would you want to do anything if you know that it causes concern for the one you love?  This in your face trust me or get lost attitude just won't work.

What some are saying is that the woman isn't allowed to have feelings about this and if she does, it's all her fault because she is jealous and insecure.  I have news for you  guys, any woman who is opening herself up to a man and making a commitment is going to be a little insecure and jealous.

It seems the strongest comments in this matter are coming from those who aren't attached yet.  Something to think about.

[WmGO]

Good grief!  Let's not be using another thread to get back into the wiz/Sofia battle!

Well I vote for an MTV playdough character Celebrity Boxing episode with Wiz vs. Sophia as the fighters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Wiz.......

Did anyone see that episode where the playdough figures were Hillary Clinton vs. Condi Rice? Too funny......

[mirror]

Since I don't read any mirror's posts since she is on my ignore list, I have read posts in the thread in response to her questions.  All I can say is.......  Who cares??? 

She's just making social skills much more complicated than necessary.   

Just like men, I can have female friends for coffee to talk.  I can have a lady to teach me some useful skills like learning the language.  I can find ladies who can help me to make my life easier.  In my work in the audiology field, I work with a Indian woman, few Chinese women and a Swedish lady.  They all are intelligent, wonderful to talk with and doing some interesting work.  I can have close friendships with them.  It's the same for family.             

Does this mean that I'm being unfaithful to my girlfriend or wife?  No...

It seems to me when you do something you think about your girl (family)  in same time. It is what I understood and it is perfect for your girl (family ) of course.

Similar position of man when he remember about his girl (family) all the time is right position.And if a man behave like a family man (or "busy" man) I think it  is clear to every woman and for a female friends too. And nothing to make jealous your girl.I hope I am right.

[mirror]

Trust takes time to grow in a relationship, especially if one or the other has had someone betray that trust in the past.  The solution isn't to challenge her trust, it is to cultivate it.  Trust isn't something that is automatically given or comes as a result of love.

Especially in the beginning of a relationship, you take more care to avoid any situation that would call your faithfulness into question.  Over time, you can push things a little, but why would you want to?  Why would you want to do anything if you know that it causes concern for the one you love?  This in your face trust me or get lost attitude just won't work.

What some are saying is that the woman isn't allowed to have feelings about this and if she does, it's all her fault because she is jealous and insecure.  I have news for you  guys, any woman who is opening herself up to a man and making a commitment is going to be a little insecure and jealous.

It seems the strongest comments in this matter are coming from those who aren't attached yet.  Something to think about.

I really wanted to separate  social skills from a lie. Because I see a serious people is able to see a difference between slippery game and normal social behavior.

I sure you know despite of any woman is going to be insecure and jealous she has enough brain to analyse and to think.

[Kuna]

I really wanted to separate  social skills from a lie. Because I see a serious people is able to see a difference between slippery game and normal social behavior.

I sure you know despite of any woman is going to be insecure and jealous she has enough brain to analyse and to think.

:burnedup: :seething: :hairraising: :selfharm: :yech:

Dan,

Can we have some more negative emoticons please?

Sheeeesh!

[Mocking Bird]

I've got question too: can married woman have coffee with another man and how offten it could happen?

[mirror]

I've got question too: can married woman have coffee with another man and how offten it could happen?

I think MaxxumUSA answered and his answer is about women too how to behave.
Sometimes I think a man can be more jealous than a woman. But it is of course only my opinion.

Kuna,

Don't be angry, pls. Nothing wrong  if sometimes we use words  "jealous" and "lie".It is a literary words.

[Kuna]

I've got question too: can married woman have coffee with another man and how offten it could happen?

I think that might have been answered before Mocking Brid but I'll try again...

I think it all depends on the trust in a relaitonship and the form of the friendships.

If my wife had a work colleague or someone she had coffee with I wouldn't put a limit on it AS LONG AS THE FORM ON THE RELATIONSHIP WAS A PLATONIC ONE.

I said earlier that I would WANT my wife to be involved with my existing and new friendships... and I would expect I would be a part of her new and existing friendships.  If either partner wanted exclusive friendships with someone of the opposite sex then there is probably something wrong with the relationships.

You seem to b e new here so you might not be aware.

There is a very long and ugly feud between two ex-lovers here and they continue to display their dirty laundry in public.

In this case Sofia (mirror) has chosen to decieve the RWD community by posting something she tried to disguise as a simple question but in fact it is re-hashing an old arguement she has with her former lover.

Over the past month or so there has been a number of very ugly arguments that revolve around these two and I'm sure we all wish they would either stop acting like children or just go away.

To be fair... in this latest round of rubbish the male participant doesn't seem to have done anything (at least publicly) to initiate this discussion but mirror is again abusing her participation in this board by continuing to post private and personal disputes.


By the way... welcome to RWD.  We appreciate the participation of Russian and Ukrainian women who can help us understand your countries and cultures better.  Unfortauntely we've had a few lately who have abused their access to the site but we still greatly value the participation of women who have the right intentions.

I see you're only a new member.  It would be great if you posted an introduction in the Introductions and Ice Breaker section when you have a chance.

Again... Welcome to RWD.

Kuna

[wiz]

I've got question too: can married woman have coffee with another man and how offten it could happen?

Mocking Bird

Just had a look at your profile and I see there is no information at all about you to give us an indication if we are talking to a man, a woman or a Moscovite duck!

We don't also know where you are living. That is not much to disclose about yourself!

It is also customary that any new member make an introductory post, saying hello to everybody but I can not find anything from you in the introduction section.

Could you please be a little more helpful so we know who we are answering to?

Thank you.

[Kuna]

Kuna,

Don't be angry, pls. Nothing wrong  if sometimes we use words  "jealous" and "lie".It is a literary words.

Sofia,

I'm not angry... I'm exasperated that you're still continuing to use RWD in inappropriate ways.  I know you tried to disguise your post as an innocent question and I know you well enough now to realise you'll play the innocent victim BUT we all know you're just rehashing the same old arguments you have with your ex-lover.

If you ever get your head straight and stop playing games I'm sure you'll be welcomed by one and all but all I seem to see from you is deception and contrived stories.

Please don't get angry Sofia... It's just what I see.

Kuna

[mirror]

Sofia,

I'm not angry... I'm exasperated that you're still continuing to use RWD in inappropriate ways.  I know you tried to disguise your post as an innocent question and I know you well enough now to realise you'll play the innocent victim BUT we all know you're just rehashing the same old arguments you have with your ex-lover.

If you ever get your head straight and stop playing games I'm sure you'll be welcomed by one and all but all I seem to see from you is deception and contrived stories.

Please don't get angry Sofia... It's just what I see.

Kuna

Kuna,

no...it is only what you want to see,sorry. I say you last time I try to understand a western mentality ...yes, through exact examples.Because I'd like to know a difference. This example with a coffee was one moment ...I have similar view like Maxxum USA has. But it is not same for another people.Why? I had a explanation, YES, a man can go to drink with another woman because it is normal social skills. Where this frontier between normal social skills and a trick? It was a question what I asked.

[wiz]

SottinCrimea

I have news for you  guys, any woman who is opening herself up to a man and making a commitment is going to be a little insecure and jealous.

I agree with your comment, is understandable, but what I like to ask you is:

If the woman does not open herself up to a man, as you say and does not make or show any commitment is she entitled to show jealousy and insecurity?

Personally I don’t think she has any right to complain or show jealousy if she is not made any commitment to a man. Why should she?

The man is entitled to meet whoever he wants on friendly or other circumstances.

Scott

Please do not make any more reference to my recent nightmare stormy relationship, when you reply to my questions. I am asking you a general objective question and I do not need your constant reminder about my failed relationship. I expect you can do that otherwise I see no point of me participating on this board anymore.

[Jazzyclassy]

this topic is once again a provement how people are scandalicious by their nature

I noticed in normal topics like there are 0 or 1 member reading and here where there are scoldings and accusations all the time 3 members are sitting:P Got the score a?

Come on  you  Kuna Sofia Wiz and others be patient with each other, life is so short contribute more to the board )) not to the scandals and arguments

[wiz]

this topic is once again a provement how people are scandalicious by their nature

I noticed in normal topics like there are 0 or 1 member reading and here where there are scoldings and accusations all the time 3 members are sitting:P Got the score a?

Come on  you  Kuna Sofia Wiz and others be patient with each other, life is so short contribute more to the board )) not to the scandals and arguments

Jazzy

I would appreciate when you make such comments not to include my name in something I am not part of. Unfortunately in this board I will have to share the same threads and subjects with mirror.

I am making my comments and ask my questions in an objective manner without making any reference to my previous girlfriend and of course I do not want to be involved or be part in any of her actions.

In a previous answer I only added some explanations, which of course Kuna, Scottin and all the other knew or suspected already.

[Admin]

Kuna,

no...it is only what you want to see,sorry. I say you last time I try to understand a western mentality ...yes, through exact examples.Because I'd like to know a difference. This example with a coffee was one moment ...I have similar view like Maxxum USA has. But it is not same for another people.Why? I had a explanation, YES, a man can go to drink with another woman because it is normal social skills. Where this frontier between normal social skills and a trick? It was a question what I asked.

Sofia,

You are incorrect. You said; "it is only what you want to see" - but others ALSO see the problem which Kuna referenced. Namely, that you are asking questions WITHOUT the intent to REALLY learn - but instead, to further your agenda with Yannis.

MaxxumUSA gave you *an* answer - and it seemed pretty well-supported by others. You then ask; "But it is not same for another people. Why?" The answer is simple. Not everyone is MaxxumUSA.

People are different. Even people living within a common culture.

Jazzy

I would appreciate when you make such comments not to include my name in something I am not part of. Unfortunately in this board I will have to share the same threads and subjects with mirror.

I am making my comments and ask my questions in an objective manner without making any reference to my previous girlfriend and of course I do not want to be involved or be part in any of her actions.

In a previous answer I only added some explanations, which of course Kuna, Scottin and all the other knew or suspected already.

Yannis,

You will not like this. You have made it clear on numerous occasions that you believe we (me, in particular) are singling you out and "blaming" you (which I disagree with).

Nonetheless, this is an excellent example of a topic in which you participate principally because Sofia has. You claim to be "objective" but to an outside party, you are clearly responding to Sofia, or to those who have responded to Sofia in support of her position.

**************************************

Yannis and Sofia (wiz and mirror):

You can consider this fair, or patently UNfair - I do not care.

You have played out some parts of your relationship on RWD in a manner which has proven hurtful to yourselves (I believe) and disruptive to members of the board.

If either of you posts anything which appears to me, or the Mods, that you are perpetuating the use of RWD as a vehicle to air your individual personal issues, your accounts will be placed into Moderated status for a good long while.

Please do just as Jazzy appealed, when she said; "be patient with each other, life is so short contribute more to the board, not to the scandals and arguments" - that is good advice.

- Dan