The real price of marrying a RW?

[wxman]

TigerPaws hits the nail right on the head when it comes to most AW. I say, most because there are exceptions, but the mindset of AW has been changing for the last 30 years. Whether good or bad, it's the way it is. Most AW if not married by 30 have very little motivation to get married unless if it is to improve their quality of life, (money). It's the baby boomer mentality of living for the moment. I have no problem with AW wanting to live well, pursuing a career, living the good life, but they are choosing more and more to live it alone, which again I can respect if that is what they wish. But for the AM who wish to be married, it is getting harder and harder to find an AW who wishes the same. It comes down to the law of supply and demand, and for AM older than 35, the supply is very low.   

[Muzh]

I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with all these misogynists POVs.  There are MANY available, good, thin, non-golddigger, over 35 AW in this country looking for a good man to partner with.  The problem here is that AM has allowed themselves to be pussywhipped to death by a minority.  Many AW ended up with one of these specimens because that is what TV shows tells them is the idea of a perfect marriage (No one said we are very bright).  Suddenly, they realize that they didn't marry a man but a wimp and the end result is what you see in divorce court, a man taken to the cleaners.  All those pre-nups are signs of just that, pussy-whippedness.

If I hear one more time that AM are "looking for a traditional wife" in the FSU, I'm gonna barf.

Be honest with yourselves and stop blaming AW.  You are going overseas because:

1) the RW find you exotic.

2) An old fart with some money can buy a young hot babe.

3) You can start from scratch (i.e., the RWs are not fully aware of our "customs" and the AM can start a relationship being a MAN, or at least pretend for the first couple of years)

4) They look, behave, and are exotic.

5) Sex is unadulterated.  With an AW you have to spend some time retraining them.

6) A RW will wear tight clothes and high heels because it is "normal" and she will not be thinking about what others might say.

7) They are arm candy.

Finally, the lamest excuse of all time: "I want a young RW (read young, lucious, hot-bod babe) to start a family."  What a load of crap.  Most of these women have been exposed to toxic chemicals and radiation most of their lives and would make a middle-aged AW the perfect "incubator" when compared to their younger Russian sisters.

Gentlemen, please be honest with yourselves.  No one is buying this crap except you.

P.S.  Why did I marry my Russian wife?  Because she is hot and exotic.

P.P.S.  If you still believe that AW are these ogres, what is the best selling genre of books among AW?  I think you know the answer. (Hint: It has a picture of Fabio in the cover)

[MandM]

Can I just ask something unrelated to this topic? I was hooked on the American program called 'Average Joe' (I know I am sad watching bad TV!) It has been shown here in the UK a few months ago. The end of the program left me confused and disappointed. This beautiful girl chooses some guy who was dying to be with her and then she tells him that she used to date Fabio and the guy was so appalled by that he dumped her!

Now can anyone please tell me who the f*** is Fabio? And why is he so disgusting?

[Turboguy]

Fabio is sort of a male model.  I don't know that much about him but I think he got is start appering on paper back book covers as the hero of romance novels.   He has long flowing blond hair and is ruggedly handsome and muscular.  

[Leslie]

Elle,

Try here

http://www.fabioifc.com/

 

[MandM]

Thanks for the link! I've just ordered some fab Fabio T-shirts and can't wait when they ship them to me from America  (not really)

[OhioGuyRob]

You hit the nail squarely on the head!   As a man who fits the discription you gave I can tell you first hand its a real nightmare in the US as it pertains to the dating environment.  I am in excellent physical condition and am blessed with youthful genetics that make me look like I am about 15 years younger than I actually am. 

I also happen to be blessed with a fantastic career that provides me with a top tier income.  Finding women to date is all but impossible.  Finding women I want to see on a second date is even more problematic.  I live in Columbus which has the dubious reputation as the nations 4th fatest city... hey thats an improvement, the year before Columbus was ranked as the #1 fattest city.

 

Not only do the women let themselves go physically but they have the audacity to chid men for having any desire to be concerned or focused on this issue. 

 

In profile after profile one of the #1 things a RW cites that she is looking for in a man is that he is a "real man"  I can GARUNTEE you that you will not see an AW citing such things on any profile on match.com or any of the other dating sites in the US. 

 

Try floating the idea of the man being the head in the relationship to the average AW and see what kind of response you get!  If you are a successful, attractive, youthful looking man in his 40's the options available to you are very, very dismal.  And yes, the attractive woman in her 30's-40's does act like she should be worshiped.  Why? Because she is more rare than gold.  She knows she can have whatever she wants and has 10 guys waiting in the wings just to have the chance to take her out to dinner.... BLECH!

[BC]

Try floating the idea of the man being the head in the relationship to the average AW and see what kind of response you get!  

Think this is any different with a RW?

If you tell me you'r married to a RW I'll gladly retract.. but my experience is a good bit different.. Expect a RW to ultimeately play an BIG role in your relationship and household. Of course this will come about slowly but surely as she gets her feet on solid ground..

BTW nothing wrong with it.

[Turboguy]

Well BC, I have to agree with you and I have to disagree with you.   I have not figured out the mystery yet myself.  

Russian women definately seem to want a strong man who wants to make the decisions and be in control.   Then once they have him they seem to want to make the decisions and be in control.  

Believe me you start writing FSU women and tell them you think marriage is a partnership and decisions should be discussed mutually you wil get little response and will be looked at as a spineless guy of no interest.

If all this makes sense to you explain it too me but I tend to be an easy going person and it can get you in trouble. 

 

[OhioGuyRob]

Well BC, I have to agree with you and I have to disagree with you.   I have not figured out the mystery yet myself.  

Russian women definately seem to want a strong man who wants to make the decisions and be in control.   Then once they have him they seem to want to make the decisions and be in control.  

Believe me you start writing FSU women and tell them you think marriage is a partnership and decisions should be discussed mutually you wil get little response and will be looked at as a spineless guy of no interest.

If all this makes sense to you explain it too me but I tend to be an easy going person and it can get you in trouble. 

 

I fear you miss the point.  Are you confusing the difference of  a woman testing you and what the RW say they want in profile after profile after profile?

You certainly will not find on profiles of AW where they list as a major priority the concept of seeking a "real man"


Surely, you know what the RW is alluding to when she says that.  It is the polar opposite of what AW want in a relationship with a man.  I hope you are not going to try and define leadership with subservient.  There is a demonstrative difference between being a leader in your family and wanting a submissive, subservient wife.

Certainly you know that the russians say that the husband is the head but the wife is the neck.....


 

 

[OhioGuyRob]

Russian women definately seem to want a strong man who wants to make the decisions and be in control.   Then once they have him they seem to want to make the decisions and be in control.  

Believe me you start writing FSU women and tell them you think marriage is a partnership and decisions should be discussed mutually you wil get little response and will be looked at as a spineless guy of no interest.



 

Its called "testing"  Women consistently test there men to see if they are really acting as a leader or if they are just all talk.

 

[jb]

Yep, BC is very right.  I was told last week we are going to buy a new house....  I was not asked, I was told~!

She then proceeded to start shopping Realtors and properties in neighborhoods where she wanted to live.  ON HER OWN~! These gals are tigers when they want to be.

[Vaughn]

I thought it was just us! We've spent the better part of 2 years remodeling our 33 year old home, inside and out. As we near completion, my wife announces the whole point was to ready it for sale! Now THAT reminded me of another wife I once had, so there are definitely similarities.

They might test your leadership skills, Turbo, but it's just to be certain you can keep up with them...

 

[BC]

These gals are tigers when they want to be.

And Turbo, don't think that a large age difference will change this.. It's genetic as far as I'm concerned. That meek young woman in a short time will find your handlebars clutch and throttle.. -and if you're lucky you'll be able to tap the brakes once in a while. (don't get ruffled.. 17 years diff here)

Taking a good look at how Luda's mother acts around HER house will tell you a lot. Might not be absolute, but if you ask her who's the boss she will likely say "Ma".

Anyway, forget about the dating and letter writing era.. (we never wrote more than a couple hundred short SMS's) it all begins 'face to face' in your new life together.

Fasten your seatbelt.

[Turboguy]

Yes, I have only written a few letters to Luda.  You have had a few hundred sms messages.   I think we are over the 2000 mark on sms messages.

[jb]

Turbo,

Just don't be too surprised when those differences OhioGuy talks about don't seem to be applicable to your marriage.

You might be the head of the family, but the neck will direct your attention.  If the neck decides you need to focus that attention on a new house with an additional 500 sq. ft. of floor space with a three car garage instead of the two car space you currently have, believe me, it's time to get out the check book and practice making a lot of zeros behind a number.

Failure to come up to standards will result in an unhappy wife, and when mama ain't happy, nobody's happy.  Mama always knows best.

[Leslie]

Well I am laughing my ass off and trying not to spit tea all over the screen having read the recent single guy posts!!!

Till you have a real relationship (married over a year) you don't know Jack. 

Marriage agencies write profiles (Duh Stupid Brain!). 

If the aliens land in the back garden tonight and ask "Take me to your leader"  They can wake grumpy up.  They will need that  flying saucer....

 

[jb]

They will NEED[/i] that  flying saucer....

They will indeed......

[Turboguy]

Darn JB.  You mean this frugal gal of mine who complined because the first apartment I had in N. N. that someone else arranged was wastful, was a "Rich persons apartment" is going to make a 180 degree change and want a palace now.   A three car garage no less, and right now I park out in the street and don't  have a garage.

I am not worried about being head of my family.  I have been married once before.  I know better.   I don't plan to be the head or neck, just the wallet pocket and the hand to sign the check.

[jb]

I don't plan to be the head or neck, just the wallet pocket and the hand to sign the check.

That's all that is required.  If you sign on as a crew member of this ship you will have an exciting 'round the world cruise, just don't be dissappointed if you have to wash some dishes and mop some floors along the way.

[Turboguy]

I wash my dishes, mop and vac my floors, wash and iron my clothes and cook my meals now.    There is nothing that makes me worse off with the change.

[jb]

TGuy,

You missed the parallel, what I meant was; you have to work at it.  I don't care how many dishes you've washed in the past, you WILL wash many more.  Getting married to an RW will not turn your life into a paradise on earth, you will have to work harder at this marriage than you've ever worked before.

If you failed to work at keeping your prior marriage together, if you didn't go that extra mile, you will fail miserably at this one.  It's only worth what you are willing to put into it. RWs are special in many ways, but if you are impatient, or lose your temper easily, this may not be for you.

Your RW wife will want to improve her life, always.... If that means a new house after a couple of years, be prepared for the changes.   She can't help herself. Look at Donna Pedro's history here since she's been in the USA.  It's pretty typical.

[BC]

TGuy,

You missed the parallel, what I meant was; you have to work at it.  I don't care how many dishes you've washed in the past, you WILL wash many more.  Getting married to an RW will not turn your life into a paradise on earth, you will have to work harder at this marriage than you've ever worked before.

If you failed to work at keeping your prior marriage together, if you didn't go that extra mile, you will fail miserably at this one.  It's only worth what you are willing to put into it. RWs are special in many ways, but if you are impatient, or lose your temper easily, this may not be for you.

In this world of generalities and exceptions to every rule there are few absolutes. jb has again pointed out another absolute.

Don't get me wrong, I disagree often with jb's politics.. heck I probably wouldn't buy his used car but I'll listen and heed his 'tough love' anyday.

[jb]

OMG~! BC, give me a break....

Now you have people thinking we aren't on the same team.  In actual fact, we are very much on the same team, I don't think anyone is a stronger proponet of cross cultural marriage than you and I, we've been there for a few years and know it's value.

Don't get me wrong, I disagree often with jb's politics.. heck I probably wouldn't buy his used car but I'll listen and heed his 'tough love' anyday.

I never discuss politics here, I have a blog site for that discorse. Personally, between the two of us, and I wouldn't try to sell you a used car, ever... My old cars, trucks, and tractors are not worth selling, we simply put them up for auction.

If you'd like to read the political discussion, PM me and I'll send you the links to the real political cat fights going on here in the Bay Area.

[BC]

ROFL jb!

If I rmember correctly you used to use a Texas flag as an avatar 'elsewhere'..  what more can I say about politics.. -except that I'd be willing to bet I didn't voto for the same guy that you did!

Ok folks - for the record.. we're on your side!