Want fo Divorce my Russian Wife -

[William3rd]

Yes- the interview must take place.

Referring back to an earlier post- the card is not the status, the PERSON is the status. So, with or without the card, she is a resident alien.

[rose]

Yes- the interview must take place.

Referring back to an earlier post- the card is not the status, the PERSON is the status. So, with or without the card, she is a resident alien.

Yes, she is. But it'll take her a lot of time, effort and health to prove it if she doesn't have the card on her hands, and then she'll have to go through the re-issuing process (reside in the US?), thus, she'll probably will have to pay some fees.
So, there are a lot of ways to make her life miserable.

[William3rd]

Not as miserable as her husband is going to be if it all comes out in a court room.

[rose]

Not as miserable as her husband is going to be if it all comes out in a court room.

If I understood correctly, they are married less than 1 year. Right?

[William3rd]

Perhaps- but "unclean" hands are not rewarded. Temporary support is not dependent on the length of the marriage.

That is why he needs to take it on "straight up."

[rose]

Perhaps- but "unclean" hands are not rewarded. Temporary support is not dependent on the length of the marriage.

That is why he needs to take it on "straight up."

Laws are different in every state. That's how it seems to me with respect to California:
He can make an annulment if they are married less than a year. And if she needs his money, she can file for support. But to file in a court she needs to reside 3 months and 1 day somewhere in US. So, she needs at least $3-5K. Then, this case is not a simple one, and she might want to hire a lawyer (another $3-4K). Together $6-9K. To gather such amount might involve extra effort for her.

My point is that besides of annulment and informing INS(or whatever it is called these days) about fraud from her side, he might be ok. And let her to do the job is she wants. Do you think such scenario wouldn't work?

[William3rd]

I would contest the annulment and demand atty fees from him.

Based on the facts, and assuming that he doesnt get cute with her green card, an annulment may fly. ONE PARTY needs 180 days in the state and 90 days in the county in CA, which doesnt preclude a legal separation being filed. But- that presumes that she comes back.

[rose]

Funny, we discuss someones else divorce, and seems that person is not even here.
let's better discuss some other scenario

Easily, those women who take everything during divorce can be here called gold diggers... But the law is the law, and you can't do anything about it. Do you think it's fair when woman comes here, her husband pays for her education during 5 years, she gets her GC, brings her child here, gets a job and divorces him?  How much should such woman get during divorce (let's say in %) and if she should get anything at all? 

Your opinions?

[BillyB]

 Do you think it's fair when woman comes here, her husband pays for her education during 5 years, she gets her GC, brings her child here, gets a job and divorces him?  How much should such woman get during divorce (let's say in %) and if she should get anything at all? 

Your opinions?

Our opinions don't matter unless we got lots of money to lobby Congress. A judge's opinion does. I know of one FSU woman who came here with practically nothing and got nearly $250,000 dollars for a 3 year marriage. After reading enough men's divorce horror stories on these forums and separating truth from BS, I conclude FSU women do make out pretty good when divorcing. Attorneys could play the poor immigrant card and imply a woman speaks poor English and is not very employable. Immigrant women usually do better off during and after divorcing their husbands than their domestic counterparts. If they truly do not speak English and is not employable, they probably need the extra support. No matter how lazy or bad it's proved the woman to be, a judge is probably not going to let the taxpayers support her on some type of welfare program if she is to stay in the U.S. and her ex-husband will most likely pay dearly.

A family court judge will most likely base his ruling as if a divorcing woman is allowed to stay in the U.S., in which she may be entitled to her husbands cash, unless he sees something from immigration that says she must leave the country. A woman could guarantee her stay here if she claims DV from her husband.

[William3rd]

depends on the intent of her actions and the reason for divorce.


Is it fair? If she is in bad faith, then not at all.

[rose]

And how about such scenario: RW came here with hope to built the family, she had a child, AM knew about a child but after having a child with them for a year he tricked RW into sending the child back to Russia and refused to bring him back. She couldn't go back because because of several serious reasons. During all these years her husband brainwashed her telling that she was not capable to study or work and the only thing she could do was to stay at home and clean it after her messy hubby. He never had time for her, barely spoke to her, for him was always more important to read a newspaper or to watch TV. She felt very lonely and unappreciated for what she was doing. Oh, yes, he constantly was weining(spell?) about everything, and overall was very depressive. When she tried to talk to him he put her on medication to shut her up. And whenever he needed something from her he would give her an order, and if she didn't want to do it, (ex. like driving about 150 miles in a middle of her finals to turn in to his job his paperwork while he on a sick leave was taking vacations and she barely slept 2 hours a day) he would blackmail her that if she would refuse, he wouldn't bring her child here. Now, when she made through it, reached something, he accused her that she used him because of his money and if she is a decent person she would during divorce pay him money he spent on her.
Does this sound to be fair?

Anyway, these 2 scenarios really are the one. Just different perspectives. The truth is probably somewhere in between. They both made a lot of mistakes.
So, if you were a judge what would you think she'd deserve? Or he?

After doing some thinking I suggested: since according to the law all is divided 50/50, but he really spent on her money (although last 4 years she worked and supported herself), he also gave her the chance to get education, after a lot of bagging he brought her child here, and helped her out with some other things... I suggested to divide her part into 2 and take only that part (25% from total) and try to divorce peacefully if it's possible without court hearing. I thought it'll be fair. What do you think?

[William3rd]

There is the law of the state of residence that determines what the entitlements are. If they choose to reach agreement for less, then they can do so.

Talking about specific case patterns is probably not the best direction to go with.

I would suggest a family law attorney in the state of residence for detailed information. Probably in your general vicinity with knowledge of the local courts.

[BillyB]

Rose,

Sounds like you know of a real marriage in trouble and need answers. It would be nice if all marriages could end on friendly terms instead of fighting to the bitter end. The woman you mentioned may be married to a loser but it isn't a crime to be a loser. I'm assuming she tried all avenues to save her marriage and/or mold her husband into something she could tolerate but to save her sanity and see her child again, she probably needs to end her marriage.

[300spartans]

Where is Maxx when his advice is needed? I think BillyB is very accurate with his tips.

One thing not mentioned about the character of this wife is that she actually has a job and prefers to earn her own income.

My own wife preferred to scrounge off me and avoid paid work. This is common for younger Ukrainian women. And she busied herself with trade up plans. I discovered these plans and provided watertight proof to the government, including her attempts to ensnare her own doctor in a sexual relationship. I got in the first strike by surprise but I did not win the war of attrition. The Immigration people have not contacted me nor her surgeon and they probably never will. Instead they will believe her elaborate lies. Just about all marriages are abusive if one reads that link or anywhere else about abuse. My marriage was abusive, and I was on the receiving end of it every day. Funny how all pamphlets on abuse always call the abuser “he” and the victim “she”. Rose would love that.

Result, my lying conniving wife has not been booted from my western country and probably never will be, As she is a good liar and full time Narcissist, she is sure to have created some elaborate lies about abuse. I am sad that an honest women (or man) would obey the rules and laws and go back to their home country. Liars, deceivers and thieves will always be allowed to stay in the West. Deevidman is wise by swearing off the FSU and foreign women generally. However it can work and usually only if the man moves to the FSU permanently. Taking a young hottie west will result in disaster in almost all cases. In my case for example my wife deliberately destroyed our marriage, even though I am the one that ended it.

I once said to her “If I spoke to you like you speak to me, how long would our relationship have lasted”. Her silence spoke volumes.

No wonder that Western birth rates are in decline with the law tilted so heavily against men. Sex is great but is it worth the ridiculous expense? Finally, if you marry a Ukrainian woman younger than you, accept that she will have sex with other men at any suitable opportunity, especially if they have money. Then you may have a happy marriage. Under no circumstances do any snooping because if you do you will be horrified by what you find. Especially if you find out what she really thinks of you, Mr. Mule.

[Jazzyclassy]

       I am sad that an honest women (or man) would obey the rules and laws and go back to their home country. Liars, deceivers and thieves will always be allowed to stay in the West.         

That is what  I was always telling about and was sad about  as well , it is just unjustice

[mervin]

No wonder that Western birth rates are in decline with the law tilted so heavily against men. Sex is great but is it worth the ridiculous expense? Finally, if you marry a Ukrainian woman younger than you, accept that she will have sex with other men at any suitable opportunity, especially if they have money. Then you may have a happy marriage. Under no circumstances do any snooping because if you do you will be horrified by what you find. Especially if you find out what she really thinks of you, Mr. Mule.

Acrimony sandwich anyone?   

 

I think western birth rates are down predominately because of the secular nature of Europe, and because European nations have become nanny states because of their socialistic governments.

[groovlstk]

Taking a young hottie west will result in disaster in almost all cases. In my case for example my wife deliberately destroyed our marriage, even though I am the one that ended it.

300, I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out. You haven't written much about your background, but what was the age difference between you and your wife? How long did you take getting to know each other before you proposed to her?

I can't imagine all these horrible traits manifested only after you were married; did you marry a stranger?

[Gator]

300spartans,

You have my sympathy for broken dreams, but little more.  I do not like the fact that your ex-wife perhaps will encourage other UW to do the same, as if there are not already a great number of these stories.  And stories such as yours jutifiably make the embassy use more scrutiny in interviewing visa petitions.

With regard to you personally, you were the one who made the decision to bring her here.  Accept your mistake and move on.  You will feel better.

You took a risk and you lost.  Part of taking a risk is accepting the downside consequences.  Working to deport her shows a vindictive personality which will eat at your soul.

Look on the bright side - no false DV. 

Now a question whose answer could be very helpful:  If you went to Ukraine again, what would you do differently?

[mervin]

300, I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out. You haven't written much about your background, but what was the age difference between you and your wife? How long did you take getting to know each other before you proposed to her?

I can't imagine all these horrible traits manifested only after you were married; did you marry a stranger?

 
I was thinking exactly the same thing groovlstk. And since deevidman doesn't seem to want to post here anymore maybe we can help out 300 instead.

One thing that always mystifies me is how unaware a lot of us men are when it comes to reading warning signs, or suspect body language. Once we find a girl who is younger and more attractive than any girl we ever thought we'd get we tend brush off all the warning signs because (among other things) our peckers are clouding our judgment!  :selfharm: 

That's why I always think it's best to whack off first (several times if possible), before I make any important decisions involving a girl with whom in relations. 

A man just can't think clearly when his one eyed monster is at Defcon2 all the time.   

[jb]

Another train wreck.....

I wonder if we will learn the stats on this one.

[viking]

Merwin

Kinda like food shopping. If you eat a good meal before going to the store, you tend to buy less, but more of what you need, and are usually more selective.

JB

Stats

Train wrecks - 342,986
Good marriages - 12

(give or take)

[groovlstk]

I have plenty of sympathy for guys who get their hopes dashed in this pursuit, but every few months we see this sort of post here and I can't help but take offense to statements like:

Deevidman is wise by swearing off the FSU and foreign women generally. However it can work and usually only if the man moves to the FSU permanently. Taking a young hottie west will result in disaster in almost all cases.

and

Finally, if you marry a Ukrainian woman younger than you, accept that she will have sex with other men at any suitable opportunity, especially if they have money.

It irritates me to see these jilted guys paint all FSU women with the same brush after they pick out a pretty puppy and then are shocked to see that she might actually have a mind of her own.

[jb]

It irritates me to see these jilted guys paint all FSU women with the same brush after they pick out a pretty puppy and then are shocked to see that she might actually have a mind of her own.

Amen, brother...

[catzenmouse]

Amen, brother...

Ya Tozsha

[jb]

Ken,

Your Russian is improving,,, I may have to "ignore" you.