Will her excitement fade for you as a foreigner when she comes to you?

[MaxxumUSA]

plus there are no proper men available here, I wish he could be living in Russia with me .. forever:)

Jazzy,

Hmm...  This gives me a thought and question I think it might be worth its own thread?

Here is my thought and question that came to mind when I read this.  When I first visited Russia and see my Elena I am usually the center of attention.  All her friends, family, and new people we meet are interested in me because I am a foreigner.  I am the first and only foreigner that Elena has met in person other than when she was out of the country on holiday.  On my second visit the excitement of me being a foreigner did not fade.  Many people wanted to be in my presence just to make my aquantence because of this.  My being American adds to the excitement.

My point:  If I was moving to Russia to be with her I am sure some of this excitement would remain for the rest of our lives or at least as long as I carried a thick foreigner accent.

My question:  What will happen to a RW's excitement about her man when she comes to the USA and there are millions of foreign men here.  When she finds out he's not "all that" because he does NOT stand out in a large group on his home turf.

For me personally I don't fear this because even here in good ol USA I tend to bring excitement and humor to almost all social situations.  But what about those men who are not the life of the party here?  Will she get bored with him quickly?

Someone else that can think of a good title for a new thread should start it.  I cannot think of it.

Ok...  I started it.  I will keep my opinions to myself for a few posts.  I'd like to hear others opinions and experience about this...  out of curiosity.

[catzenmouse]

If your partner being a foreigner is anything more than the tip of the icing on the cake to you then I think you could be headed for a big crash and burn.

Yes, I do love that accent. And yes, I do love all that her culture brings into our lives. Sure, there is an excitement of sorts about it and maybe if it is your first time with someone from another culture it could be easy to let it overwhelm you. My last three long term relationships were with a Croatian girl, a Puerto Rican girl, and a Brazilian girl so maybe I was a bit accustomed to it. BUT, in the end (for me) it is her, all of her, that is who I want next to me for all my life. Not her being a foreigner.

FWIW,
 Ken

[Simoni]

Re: Will her excitement fade for you as a foreigner when she comes to you?

Frankly, my being an American was a negative to her.  The USA is taking a bad rap around the world now, in Ukraine included.  She would have been more happy with a good UA man; if foreign-- Italy is her love.

[catzenmouse]

Re: Will her excitement fade for you as a foreigner when she comes to you?

Frankly, my being an American was a negative to her.  The USA is taking a bad rap around the world now, in Ukraine included.  She would have been more happy with a good UA man; if foreign-- Italy is her love.

Shhhhh! Don't tell Sandro as he might just steal her away from you....

[SANDRO43]

Shhhhh! Don't tell Sandro as he might just steal her away from you....

I DON'T steal other men's women . They come of their own free will .

[Simoni]

I DON'T steal other men's women . They come of their own free will .

  LOL 

[WmGO]

One would hope that she is sincerely *committed* such
that the "foreignor factor" is irrelevant - and of course it
cuts both ways.........without commitment relationships
will not pass the test of time.

[Jazzyclassy]

I can answer this as how I understand


It depends on woman first of all

I have enough foreign friends and met many foreign people in my short life cos I studied in americanized school and always students were coming on exchange programmes plus we had foreign teachers, then my sister working at TGIF had couple of American friends and we went hanging around with them I do not know back in 1999 . So for me my boy was not the first foreign person I saw ever in my life  and he took away my heart, won my love the same as I won his:)

for me if I somehow move to his country the feeling of him being so special , amazing prince will never fade away , cos I have chosen him , only him not the others .He is absolutely unique for me:) once again repeating my little dream I wish he could be in Moscow with me always:) though I am ready to go anywhere for him , just he likes Moscow a lot and himself keeps talking about what if he has job at Domodedovo airport that could be lovely:) for both of us

But I want to meet his parents and his lovely family so so much and I do not know if they can come to Moscow one day

[MaxxumUSA]

Ok...

Like I said...  Reading jazzy's little statement there just gave me a thought and a question.  I don't place too high importance on the "Foreigner" factor with me and Elena.  I believe she loves me for me and the fact that I am from a foreign land is just the way it is.

I don't "play" to the foreigner deal with her and her family.  I am very sincere in my life with all people.  But it does play a role.

I just wanted to get some opinions.

Thanks for your reply Jazzy. 

[CaptB]

Having been married almost 4 years to a RW..........I will say the "foreigner" part gradually fades........and you are left with hopefully.......just a solid couple. The adventures stemming from cultural still pop-up.........but basically "Vika the Russian".........is now just Vika. I have always been interested in Russian history, culture, music etc. Having a Russian wife just makes it more interesting to share it with. When the novelty wears off.......hopefully your decissions in choosing a partner were about the person........and not the novelty. My wife is just a great person.......regardless of cultural issues.


Capt B


P.S. Hopefully the novelty of the accent...........never fades away

[Zmejka]

Frankly, my being an American was a negative to her...

She would have been more happy with a good UA man; if foreign-- Italy is her love.

I'm sorry but to my mind if she had such a negative attitude towards americans she would never end up with an american -simple as it is

As for me it's still interesting to talk English (and Dutch) to him, though after one year of being together i got used to it. When in Russia i feel he's a foreigner. But honestly i wouldn't want to move together to Russia, i like to live with him here. I'm glad that there's no nessesity for now to move back.

[Voyageur]

I'll agree with Capt B. Both of our wives are from the same city  , but I don't think that really matters. At first, to compare the differences in cultures, it was sort of fascinating for me, to understand how someone thinks who grew up behind the iron curtain. To learn about their values and ways of life in a completely different culture. I visited the FSU many times, and was exposed to their culture in many ways and in different locations. But I can say also, that you really can't understand the ways of a woman from the FSU until your are married to her, or have lived with her for a while. That is why I really respect the opinion of RWD guys who have been married for awhile.

But, being married almost two years now, she is simply now my wondeful wife. . But she is programmed to be a Russian Woman and will always have this upbringing guiding her. They were raised a different way than we were in the west. Actually, in many ways I think it was a better way, at least in the Soviet days.  Sadly, it seems to me that the bar has been lowered in the western way of our way of being raised, in the middle class IMHO.  And it seems the bar has also been lowered in the FSU after the fall of the iron curtain (at least that is the opinion I have heard, in my travels).

And you can't forget about the Russian soul! Generous to friends, relatives and tender to family.

[CaptB]

Voyager,

Especially agree with your last line.........always thinking of everyone one else. My folks have completely adopted her a "daughter".......not just a "daughter-in-law". If they had to choose between "her"....................or "me"...........I would hand them a coin to flip.........to increase my odds


Capt B

[ScottinCrimea]

I never felt any novelty at being a foreigner with my wife here in Ukraine.  If anything it was more of a nuisance for her because she had to explain why I did or said such crazy things.  To their credit, most here did cut me some slack because I was a foreigner, but if I hadn't shaped up to Russian standards after awhile they would have definitely questioned her choice.  I'm sure it's different when the RW is in America and has to make the adjustments, because then she is the novelty, not you.  At this point, I'm defintely not a novelty.  I'm either a good husband or a bad one, no matter where we live.