Another New guy

[AnastassiaAsh]

Steve, Welcome to this board!

Take a look at this link, and everybody, please.

http://www.yourrussianlady.ck.ua/advice/chapter-19.htm
 
Of course all women are different no matter where they live, but there are lots of things there that I would agree. 

[MaxxumUSA]

Yes, just use this sentence and ask what her feelings are on this topic?

Mir...

Are you suggesting that sex is not an important part of a bond in a relationship?

Are you suggesting that I would be engaged to a woman without having this discussion or knowledge we share this belief?

Just curious specifically what you mean.

Any women on this board that want to chime in please feel free....  am I wrong with the statement that "Sex is important in maintaining a bond in a relationship?"

- David

[AnastassiaAsh]

David, I think Mir tends to take sentences out of the context and kind of question everything. He does that some times to my posts too  but I just know he doesn't really mean it.  Maybe he is trying to be cautious. I don't know.
I totally agree with what you wrote.

[MaxxumUSA]

David, I think Mir tends to take sentences out of the context and kind of question everything. He does that some times to my posts too  but I just know he doesn't really mean it.  Maybe he is trying to be cautious. I don't know.
I totally agree with what you wrote.

It's been a month or two but he (mir) has taken me out of context before on this (sex) topic.  I don't get it.

Usually most men will agree with anything that gets them more sex or states that sex is a good thing.

Dunno.  Don't get it.

You ok mir?

[catzenmouse]

C'mon now Dave tell us the truth. You're just contextually challenged aren't ya? 

It's very common on any type of discussion board for the written word to be difficult to understand with the meaning that it is intended. Especially so with an international board. Perhaps Mir could try a little more internal review of the posts before asking or try rewording the post as it might make more sense to him.

FWIW,
 Ken

[Simoni]

Mir...

Are you suggesting that sex is not an important part of a bond in a relationship?

Hmmm... I read Mir's quote totally differently that did you...

Mir suggested you say to the girl...."sex is part of what I believe is important in maintaining a strong bond with a partner."

And, you know what?  That is something you should say to your gf....cuz it IS important.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Yes, just use this sentence and ask what her feelings are on this topic?

Of course it IS important, and it is important to talk to HER about it.

I just reacted to Mir's post like that because he some times does that to my words, so i automatically see some mocking and exaggerated pretext in what he writes but I might be wrong.

This is how I understood his post: Yes, go ahead, you moron, and use this sentence just the way you wrote it and see volcano erupting...because we all know how Russian women are paranoid that their American men would treat them just as sex objects. And if you ask her just that one question she will take that negatively....

And I agree with that.

So my point is - talk to her about it and convey this idea in 10-20 sentences not just one. Make her understand once and for all that sex will never be the only reason for you to marry her. After she gets this idea first she will be able to discuss the details of you concerns in that area with a positive attitude so to speak.

Mirchik, crawl out of your littel corner there, please, and explain what you meant and clarify our assumptions.

[ScottinCrimea]

Anastassia,
     You're not the only one who sometimes has problems trying to understand the point that Mir is trying to make.  Even us native speakers sometimes wonder what the heck he is thinking.

[Daveman]

So my point is - talk to her about it and convey this idea in 10-20 sentences not just one. Make her understand once and for all that sex will never be the only reason for you to marry her. After she gets this idea first she will be able to discuss the details of you concerns in that area with a positive attitude so to speak.

Yahtzee!  Yep, that's it.  Build a bit of rapport, then just ask her whatever you want. They are not prudes or freaks.  As I have mentioned elsewhere, I have a couple of little kinks which are important for me in relations... I simply discussed it with those I was corresponding with with respect and directness and every single one of them were completely open to the discussion and each one told me she appreciated my honesty and directness very much (at least they said that before they ran off and laughed at me with their friends..  )

Don't hem haw around, don't be shy, and just ask her whatever question you want. If she's interested in you, she'll answer any question you have including those about sex. It's just not a big deal. Sex is part of the relationship, you know it and she knows it.  You like it, she likes it.

Don't expect cybersex ( I guess... hmmm, never actually tried that approach.. but I wouldn't recommend it before meeting anyway)... but expect her to be open to whatever you want to respectfully discuss.. and she will be.  As long as the voices aren't telling you to pick up the ax, you'll be fine.

Questions about intimacy, whatever, are not taboo. Just build rapport through a few emails first. It's interesting how any mention of sex freaks people out here sometimes.

Dave

[Jazzyclassy]

Oh come you guys  Mir  only makes the discussion much more alive and interesting and you are all like a pride of lions approaching with attacks

Topic of sex it is  private thing if anyone wants to speak about it in some belleletter style , people are always welcome but I mean why always discuss sex as it is some kinda secret , it was never a secret , never is and never will be , without sex one can not build a normal healthy relations and obviously family, but at the same time one should not scream about his/her sex victories, deeds  on every corner of  this forum......

[Mir]

Oh looks like I have quite a fan club

Anyway:

David

I am sorry I missed your post and did not answer earlier.
I did not try to quote you out of context, infact I was telling the new person to use your sentence to ask/discuss his concerns with his girlfirend.
And that is the way I have done it myself. So if I am in correspondence with a woman and we are making plans to meet. I usually will bring the topic up with something like:'I feel sex is very important to bond people together, what are your ideas/feelings about this?'
So actually I am agreeing with you.

Thank you Simoni, you got it right.

Anastasia

I only recall one discussion with you and at that time I was not the only one who felt your ideas were a bit strange, Mr Native speaker Scott was agreeing with me.
Yes I have used the same sentence as my opening line and never had a volcano erupting.

Ken

Mir could try a little more internal review of the posts before asking or try rewording the post as it might make more sense to him

Well you will have to reword this or whatever as I don't understand it.

Scott

Are you a Scorpio?

JC

Thank you

[MaxxumUSA]

Oh looks like I have quite a fan club

Anyway:

David

I am sorry I missed your post and did not answer earlier.
I did not try to quote you out of context, infact I was telling the new person to use your sentence to ask/discuss his concerns with his girlfirend.
And that is the way I have done it myself. So if I am in correspondence with a woman and we are making plans to meet. I usually will bring the topic up with something like:'I feel sex is very important to bond people together, what are your ideas/feelings about this?'
So actually I am agreeing with you.

Thank you Simoni, you got it right.

Anastasia

I only recall one discussion with you and at that time I was not the only one who felt your ideas were a bit strange, Mr Native speaker Scott was agreeing with me.
Yes I have used the same sentence as my opening line and never had a volcano erupting.

Ken

Well you will have to reword this or whatever as I don't understand it.

Scott

Are you a Scorpio?

JC

Thank you

Oh...  OK.  I like it when people agree with me more.

I wish customers did it more often and placed the damn orders!  Hehe

[AnastassiaAsh]

Probably it is David and his fiancee who are two little Scorpios who can't get enough of each other.        

Mir, Ok, if that sentence works for you then great, I just advise to be more cautious in this area. That's all.

[Mir]

Probably it is David and his fiancee who are two little Scorpios who can't get enough of each other.         

I will be careful with that. Scorpions belong to the family Arachnida and a bad fetish with this family is that they sometimes indulge in sexual cannibalism! So once they have danced the 'promenade à deux' and satisfied each other, sometimes the female kills and eats(literally) the male.

[MaxxumUSA]

I will be careful with that. Scorpions belong to the family Arachnida and a bad fetish with this family is that they sometimes indulge in sexual cannibalism! So once they have danced the 'promenade à deux' and satisfied each other, sometimes the female kills and eats(literally) the male.

 

[homebody]

   hi, I will be in Zaporozhye in four weeks with my Ukrainian wife,anything I can do for you while I am there ?

[USCFAN]

   hi, I will be in Zaporozhye in four weeks with my Ukrainian wife,anything I can do for you while I am there ?

Thanks for the offer ... I just got the 'mother just got cancer, need money' letter ... can you say 'NEXT' ...

[Jazzyclassy]

Thanks for the offer ... I just got the 'mother just got cancer, need money' letter ... can you say 'NEXT' ...

Yeah well that is never a surprise in that particular areas, always got this mother is ill or father is ill , or give me money for my education , or give me money for internet, these are typical scammers
always be very careful with them

[jj]

Welcome Steve,
You will find much helpful info here.  You can learn from both good and bad experiences.  My bad experience besides AW was  a paysite that gives you no contact info on ladies but keep teasing you with nice pictures.  I was blessed to find my fiancee and called her as soon as I got her number. This was much more personal.  Like Maxxum and ScottinCrimea(they gave you good advice), i wanted to be sure that affection was part of the equation.  I went on first visit with attitude of enjoying visit to another country and if it worked out fine, if not, no regrets.

I was not looking for women who play games, and she was not looking for a man who plays games.  But we still needed to connect, and we talked about responsibilty, and what we needed in a relationship.  We were comfortable with each other , and after 4 trips to Russia  to stay with her , we feel we have known each other for years. I was not afraid of commitment to the right person, but I needed love , affection, and passion in return , just as I enjoyed giving her the same. 

If you display the confidence she needs to see in you, and there is chemistry, then the intimacy will be no problem as long as she feels loved.  I guess when men here speak of intimacy and affection, it sometimes may be mis understood by the RW, because as the popular book says "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" .

I feel blessed to have found that woman in FSU. caring, giving, tender, understanding, yet strong for having raised her daughter without much help.
 
Take your time and make some trips to FSU,  and as someone here on board said, If she truly serious and interested, you will know it. 

[MaxxumUSA]

JJ,

Excellent.

I'm new here so I haven't interacted with you from my recollection...  but I will check our your previous posts/story in the next week or two.

I'm leaving for Russia again in the morning so I don't have time tonight.  BTW - Third visit since Feb of this year.

oh well...  Enjoy all.

- David

[ScottinCrimea]

JJ, They need to write a new book titled "Men are from Mars, FSU women are from Eastern Venus"

[Turboguy]

Zaporozhye is a pretty neat city.  It sort of reminds me of Gary Indiana or Pittsburgh in the 60's and 70's.   You can stand there and watch the massive clouds of smoke going up into the air. 

Oddly enough one of my two biggest memories of Zap is that there is a very long curving bridge at one end of town.  If you are into extreme sports, walking out on that bridge qualifies.   I have felt bridges move a bit in the past.  As you get near the middle it moves so much that just trying to keep your feet under you is a job.  When I was a child in the stone ages one of my toys was a vibrating football game where the plastic players were moved by vibration.  I think the bridge was patterned after that.   Otherwise it is a nice city with good friendly people. 

As far as the sexual side of RW I am not much of an expert on that but I think you will find it is much as was stated earlier it is an individual thing just as it is in America.   Russian Women tend to be a little more conservative about showing affection in public but in private they do not have a reputation of being cold at all. 

[Jack]

You can stand there and watch the massive clouds of smoke going up into the air. 

Hey Turbo, would the site you are descibing look anything like this?

[Turboguy]

Yep, sure is,  The first photo really captures the spirit of Zap.   Still it was a nice city but I would not want to live there.

[Simoni]

My memories of Zap are not so much of the poloution, but of the ease of walking around the city.  There is a large market downtown that I enjoyed walking through.  Every merchant sold their own meats and foods, and all wanted me to stop and buy.  I saw some pretty strange looking "food!"

I also remember the bar at 9 a.m. on Saturday.  I was looking for breakfast, but walked into a hellhole for drunks! It was then, looking at RM, that I began to see what RM found so attractive in older, AM.

The river was beautiful, and the dam was amazing to behold.

On another postive note, the food was good in the city, and I  liked the family of the girl I was seeing a lot.  The girl was nice, too 

Thanks for the offer ... I just got the 'mother just got cancer, need money' letter ... can you say 'NEXT' ...

USCFAN, I think your bad news kinda got lost in this thread!  Sorry for your dissapointment.   Get on a plane and get to a city like Zap or Dnepr or Kharkov, and meet tons of girls. From that larger sample, you might find success.