So, you bought a new family car............

[Gon]

Some may remember me from RWG 3+ years ago.

      Subject of poll:
Background
Due to unforeseen financial stress family car is gone (loan in Ex's name, she files BR, I see a chance to get out from under hopelessly upside-down value vs. payoff situation and let bank take it. Ex is happy since its one less debt hanging in her name. Win - Win).
I see monthly expenditures eclipsing income and decide to grab a cheap car at an auction to get us by for while with no car payment.
1 1/2 years pass. Lower stress on budget has made things more bearable for all.
But alas, older car starts to have ongoing repair issues and is becoming unreliable. Still runs well but not good on gas (which just went up +$1 a gallon!) and has had some ongoing suspension issues etc.

Recent months
Wife has complained more and more frequently that car is a piece of sh*&%t and dreams we replace it.
She's right of course.
I respond like most any man, I try to resolve the situation the best I can and make my wife happy. Eventually we'd have got another car anyway. She just pressed me sooner. No complaints.
So, we go car shopping together. Wife is thrilled. Enjoys looking at newer cars and test-driving them. Is very excited we are doing this.
We choose a pretty nice car we both like. I could settle for less but she likes this model best for our price-range anyway (BMW would be her choice - not on my income). I'm excited. She seems happy and I like what we chose.
Transaction goes rough and I rob Peter to pay Paul in order to get a payment we can live with knowing new more expensive insurance will be in addition to the car payment.
We get the car home. All are happy for about 48 hours (it was a weekend).

Last few days
I mention that I plan to drive the old car for short trips to work etc. or where it makes sense but will drive the new car when I have more driving for the day to recoup that better gas mileage it has. This way we don’t ”use up” the new one as fast but still benefit form the purchase.
Suddenly all excitement over the event has ended. Apparently I was remiss that I didn’t mention WE WOULD ACTUALLY DRIVE THE NEW CAR when we bought it and it is supposed to sit in the garage as much as possible other than long-long trips or other special situations.
So after discussions and an insuing cold war in the house we are at an impasse.
Complaining about the old car non-stop leads to husband resolving problem with new car. But new car should not be driven. We should drive the old car that was the source of non-stop complaints instead. 

I am apparently odd and unusual in my thinking that we would buy a new car and expect to drive it. Even given that on some days the old one will be used in the spirit of “preserving” the new one longer.

Please vote accordingly
Bare in mind I am not wealthy. We are not in the position to make payments on a car + insurance and garage it as some can do.
So, given we live in the USA and in a city with about zilch for public transportation, am I unreasonable or unusual or untypical as an adult to expect we would drive the new family car we bought?

Please be so kind as to enlighten me by poll.
Much appreciated.

Gon.
 

[KenC]

Sorry Gon, but I am confused.

Who wants to use the old car as much as possible to save the new car?  You or your wife?

KenC

[Gon]

"am I unreasonable or unusual or untypical as an adult to expect we would drive the new family car we bought?"

I assumed we'd drive it while using the old one for simple short trips. The gas mileage factor and appropriateness for the situation.
It never even occured to me she expected we'd garage the new one only to use it for 3 hour trips or special events.

[catzenmouse]

I threw in "other".

Does the cost of insurance on the old car + higher gas usage + maintenance issues make it worth trying to keep the old car?

If I understand this correctly, "she" is the one who wants to garage the new car? Odd attitude IMO.

If you always drive the new car when she is with you would that be okay? Is the problem with you "using up" the new car for daily driving?

Just some thoughts.

Ken

[KenC]

Gon,
First of all I have always bought slightly used cars for the last 20 years or so.  I allow the first owner to take the major hit on depreciation instead of me.  That being said, and the fact that you already bought the new new car, use it.  If you have use for two cars (both driving one of them) then keep the old car.  The amount of money you will save from keeping the milage down on the new car is sure to be less than the extra gas used in the old one, the eventual repair bills and insurance costs.  With the old car gone, there also will be no debate.
KenC

[Gon]

I threw in "other".

Does the cost of insurance on the old car + higher gas usage + maintenance issues make it worth trying to keep the old car?

I was mulling in my mind whether to just sell the old one actually. That is until I learned it was supposed to still be the primary vehicle  
So selling it would be even worse to her than the current situation.

If I understand this correctly, "she" is the one who wants to garage the new car? Odd attitude IMO.

Yes.
No comment.

If you always drive the new car when she is with you would that be okay? Is the problem with you "using up" the new car for daily driving?

Apparently who's in the car isn't a factor.
Yes. But if the old one sucked so bad why is it ok to drive mostly now?  

I'm sorry but I never saw this "logic" coming when we were shopping for cars. And I'm now a horrible unreasonable monster over this.  

[Gon]

Gon,
First of all I have always bought slightly used cars for the last 20 years or so.  I allow the first owner to take the major hit on depreciation instead of me.  That being said, and the fact that you already bought the new new car, use it.  If you have use for two cars (both driving one of them) then keep the old car.  The amount of money you will save from keeping the milage down on the new car is sure to be less than the extra gas used in the old one, the eventual repair bills and insurance costs.  With the old car gone, there also will be no debate.
KenC

Sorry, I used "new" to define the most recent car in the scenario given. In fact I use your same approach and the car is 2 years old but immaculate. Good as new for me.

[Rvrwind]

Me I'm a practical guy, I ain't buying the damn thing if I ain't driving it. Seems like a waste of money to let it sit. Use the damn thing, thats why you bought it!!! Women, I'll live to be a 1000 years old & I'll still never understand thier logic!!!

[KenC]

Gon,
OK, now that I got everythng straight.

There are things that Russians just do not have a handle on.  This is one.  You need to over ride her inexperience here.  Be the man, and this is a man's decision.  Best bet is to sell the old car and remove the confusion in her mind.  She will be pissed for a while, but it will pass too.
KenC

[catzenmouse]

I agree with KenC. Be done with it and take it out of the equation. Since your a horrible person anyway it won't make that much of a difference will it?

Ken

[Vaughn]

Hey Gon, at least you're not storing the BMW she had wanted....

Really, I'm at a loss to understand the logic of warehousing the
newer automobile, but I am painfully aware of the stubborness
than often accompanies that logic.

I've got to agree. Sell the old one, weather the storm
and realize the enjoyment of your investment. The lady
will come around eventually.

[macman]

But let's look at this from her perspective for a moment.  This is possibly her first "NEW" car.  I remember my first "NEW" car.  I wanted to keep the dang thing in the garage too.  So, I can sort of understand. . . 

[Vaughn]

I can't speak for Gon's better half, but this is how mine
perceives it. The vehicle is to be enjoyed and utilized,
not hoarded like potatoes for the coming deep freeze
of winter. Every mile it's not driven increases its cost
of insurance (and loan payment, if any) on a per mile basis.

My Elvira drives a 2007 Toyota, the financing for which she qualified
without me, and has the title in her name. She drives it to work,
shopping, etc. Safe to say she likes being seen in it. It's
her joy after years of walking and bus rides. Maybe Gon's lady
would see things differently after chatting with my wife for 10 minutes....

[HiTech]

Would explaining that you will be changing cars again in another 5 years or what ever your time frame is help?

And now I am scratching my head, did I really want to live with a RW?

Dale

[KenC]

Just for the record, I think buying and selling cars is a man's responsibility.  Especially so when his wife is of a different culture and social/economic background.  I listen to my wife's input as to the type and make of the car she would prefer but I make the final decision.  Having bought and sold more cars than I can even recall. she must have faith in my judgement.  Besides, women tend to get emotionally attached to them any way.  If I had listened to Lena, she would still be driving the Caddy STS that she learned to drive on in America 9 years ago!
KenC

[Gator]

Hi Gon,

I remeber you well when I was psoting as Bucky.  You were one of the good guys.  Sorry about your financial stress; however, it seems that you are working yourself out of it.

Regarding this matter, it makes no sense to me.  Thus, my answer is simple with three possibilities:

1.  If your wife does not drive, sell the old one.

2.  If she drives, keep the old old.  In this case, the decision of who drives what is probably a matter for the UN security council.

3.  If she wants to learn to drive, of course keep the old one and let her rush it to its deathbed.

[Daveman]

This is one topic I just don't get.  Of course I'm not married yet, but I absolutely cannot see myself worrying over which car I'm going to drive or leave parked. I'll simply take the keys off the rack, exit the house, get in the new car and drive it.  What's she gonna do? shoot me with her newly found firearms collection?  The "LOOK" will be laughable in this situation as well.

I resign myself that the house, inside and out (except for my office and game room) will be hers to decorate, landscape, whatever she wants to do.. but vehicles are my area (unless the car is bought specifically for her to drive).  I just cannot see myself putting up with even the slightest bit of nagging or nonsense over a car, new or not.  I'll go get in it and begin driving away, and if she wants to go, she'll get in the car or stay home.  Anything else seems ridiculously absurd.

Another ditto on buying slightly used vehicles... let the first owner take the deprec. hit.

Dave

[START2]

Glad to see you are a Dave Ramsey disciple. You didn't buy a new car, that's good. Saved 30-40%  Bad, you should have saved some money in the interim towards newer car purchase. Water under the bridge now.  Like the others say here, take control. Sell old car, put towards this debt and refinance loan. Might save a few bucks a month if the old car can knock off enough. Or, get rid of problem wife. The consolation would be that the new car should be problem free for 5 more years. No stress there. 

[macman]

I'll simply take the keys off the rack, exit the house, get in the new car and drive it.  What's she gonna do? shoot me with her newly found firearms collection?

Daveman,

I was NOT going to respond to any more of this; however, you hit a nerve here.  I have that collection from past generations. . . these things would probably stay in storage somewhere.  BUT, I say - sell the dang junker and there's not a question. . . gheessss.  Should have sold it beforehand.  And yes, Ramsey would ripp this up. . . But still, it's her first "NEW" car!

later folks.
MacMan

[Daveman]

Daveman,

I was NOT going to respond to any more of this; however, you hit a nerve here.  I have that collection from past generations. . . these things would probably stay in storage somewhere.  BUT, I say - sell the dang junker and there's not a question. . . gheessss.  Should have sold it beforehand.  And yes, Ramsey would ripp this up. . . But still, it's her first "NEW" car!

later folks.
MacMan

Howdy Macman, not sure I follow you on the nerve I seemed to hit.  I was joking about the firearm collection... In reality, I have way more guns than most normal people for sure.  Anyway, back to the car... if it's HER car, bought for her, that's one thing. If she wants to park it and look at it, hey, more power to her, it's hers.  If it's the family car... well, there's an absolute limit to a woman's domestic control...  to me, selling the old car is a non-issue... but nippin' that control crap in the bud early on would be a major issue. I couldn't live with it.

[macman]

You and I are certainly on the SAME page. . .   But, sounds like "dude" is being led in this. . . 

Having an RW does not mean emasculation - in fact, they desire true leadership more than the AW - and, who knows what they truly desire!

Ok, sorry. . .  stereotypying here. . .

[Simoni]

Looks like the poll vote is not supporting your view 

What are you saving the new car for?  Let it sit five years and it will be old, too.

Drive the new car, man....and get rid of the old one.

Safety is important, too...Another compelling reason are airbags-- does your old car have them?

Which car is "safest" to drive?  Generally, cars get safer each year.

[Gon]

You and I are certainly on the SAME page. . .   But, sounds like "dude" is being led in this. . . 

Having an RW does not mean emasculation - in fact, they desire true leadership more than the AW - and, who knows what they truly desire!

Ok, sorry. . .  stereotypying here. . .

Slow down kimosavi 

Anyone who recalls my posts on RWG (before this board existed) knows I'm not "emasculated" nor being led around.
I didn't post seriously for advice, although I appreciate what's been typed. I posted to make a point - that being I am not the oddball here. We bought a family car. Of course we will drive it!
My wife reads most of the RW related forums  ........ Are you with me so far?

I am driving the car. The poll was for a specific purpose.
As for selling the old car, I just got the new one a few days ago. Hadn't got that far yet and am still debating its usefulness as a backup-hauler-whatever.

[Gon]

Looks like the poll vote is not supporting your view 

What are you saving the new car for?  Let it sit five years and it will be old, too.

Drive the new car, man....and get rid of the old one.

Safety is important, too...Another compelling reason are airbags-- does your old car have them?

Which car is "safest" to drive?  Generally, cars get safer each year.

If by "Your view" you mean the poster, me, ummm..please read the whole post!
My view IS to drive the new car.
Its blatently obvious and logical since its bought to use it.
Kinda the whole point of the thread. But thanks.

Its kind of amusing to see the unmarried guys exclusive with the hardline "be a man" replies.
I actually agree and never relented the issue but as the married guys, who noticibly took less a hardline in replies  , know there is a balance between keeping harmony and being a hard arse.

Its all philosophy "Dave Ramsey says" before your married and living together - until its you on the button, but you'll find that out and chuckle later. 
 

[Simoni]

If by "Your view" you mean the poster, me, ummm..please read the whole post!
My view IS to drive the new car.
Its blatantly obvious and logical since its bought to use it.

Hmmm....sorry then, but when I read this (see below)

I mention that I plan to drive the old car for short trips to work etc. or where it makes sense but will drive the new car when I have more driving for the day to recoup that better gas mileage it has. This way we don't ”use up” the new one as fast but still benefit form the purchase.

I asked myself "why the heck does he want to drive the old car?   That is why I asked you what you were saving the new car for?

Anyway-- good luck.  And yes, compromise is essential in any marriage, especially one with an FSU woman!    LOL