What's the motive

[seeya]

I've been reading.  Some people say not to believe web site hype.  Some people say just going to russia and flashing my americanness will not win me a nice pretty ladie.

But if that is the case, then how did so many people do it?

Is it all about $$$

[macman]

Flashing to "win". . . huh?  Bro - go for a mate, partner and as the Bible says:  As Iron sharpens Iron. . .  Mutual attraction is absolutely necessary - communication is "more" than necessary -  That's what you're gonna get.  A woman that will sharpen you - eye candy???  You got money?  You get that here?  Are you ready to be sanded?

Tongue in cheek, but true. . . Soooo, can you afford the web site dues?


 

[MaxxumUSA]

I've been reading.  Some people say not to believe web site hype.  Some people say just going to russia and flashing my americanness will not win me a nice pretty ladie.

But if that is the case, then how did so many people do it?

Is it all about $$$

Hmm...  I am american and I can guarantee this is NOT the reason I landed a woman.  She was communicating with men from all over the world when we first started emailing and phone calls.  I won her heart because I flew over there and swept her off her pretty little feet.  That simple.

For the record I can do that here in the USA but I was tired of women who are not interested in family.  There are a lot of single mothers here that don't even care to have custody of their children.  The Russian women appealed to me because of their apparent strong dedication to their man, family, and close romantic connection with their mate.  Obviously there are many attractive women on the sites and for good reason...  most of them are not overweight which is opposite women in the USA.

Is it all about $$$...  well...  in some ways yes, in some ways no.  I know my Elena has told me a few things that are simply fact based.  She feels her children, and herself, will have a better life outside of Russia than she has now.  Currently she works 6 days a week 12 hours a day.  Even with this much work she is very lucky to have a small one room flat, a car, a phone, and an internet connection.  She is even lucky enough to have a little bit extra to help her sister who is a single mother.

Is it all about $$$...  referring to the agencies/websites?  Well... yes.  They are businesses that provide a service and must charge to survive and make profit.  BE CAREFUL because some of these agencies/sites will not give you contact information of the ladies forcing you to pay for long periods of time without getting personal contact information.  HRB (hotrussianbrides.com) is a good example of a crooked operation.  Elenasmodels.com is an example of an honest operation.

Is it all about $$$...  referring to "scammers and GCG's?"  GCG=green card girl  Umm... well...  Yes.  They want your money or a chance to come to the USA and then take your money.  These kinds of woman are usually easy to spot when the flags start waving.  Take your time to read around these forums and you will learn a lot about the different tactics used.

How did so many people do it?  I don't think there is a large percentage of men in the USA seeking women abroad.  I have come to the conclusion this is a very small group.  Some close friends of mine look at me like I'm nuts when I talk about Elena.  In the past they have seen the physical looks of women I land here in the USA.  They ask me...  "Why on god's green earth did you go to Russia for a woman?  You get the pick of the litter here!"  Well...  Partly the answer is "I don't know...  I just felt it was right."  The other answer is that I want a long term PERMANENT relationship with one woman.  Sure I had fun in the past.  But my goal has been and always will be to find that one woman I can share the rest of my life with.

There is a small percentage successful in my opinion because it takes a few things:
1.  Wherewithall
2.  Time to travel
3.  Open mind and heart
4.  Patience
5.  More patience when that runs out
6.  Oh... More patience
7.  Desire for marriage
8.  LUCK - Although someone with all the above will not need luck... but it never hurts. 
9.  Tenacity - seeing it through

Notice that being American is not on the list.  Has very little to do with it IMO.


I'm not sure if you'll ever even be back to read my response to your post...  But that's OK.  We regulars come here to share our opinions and experience with you new men.

For the record since I did not mention it...  I am engaged to the first RW I ever met in Russia.  She's the cat's meow in my book.

feel free to ask publicly or PM someone - including myself - if you would like more information.

[seeya]

I came back and thanks for the response.

[catzenmouse]

Well said Dave!

 Only a couple quick things to add:

   Yes, Elenasmodels has been used with success by a lot of guys but there are still women who are less than sincere in their motives on her site and they can be on any site no matter how honest the agency is. No agency can read inside the woman's head so it is up to the man to take his time and get to know WHO the woman really is. And yes, HRB or Army of Brides or any of those types of sites are prime examples of ones to run away from as fast as you can!

Add #10 to your list: Lots more patience!

[ScottinCrimea]

Dave:   

[jb]

MaxxumUSA,

Well said.  Spreaking as one of the OMBs, I surely agree with everything you said.

My wife was attracted to me because she found me to be an interesting man.  We share similar educations, similar interests in the arts, and similar values regarding family life.    The fact that I was not a Russian had zero bearing on how we clicked as a couple.  And if money had been a factor she'd have blown me off in a flat 32 microseconds, I'm not a gazillionaire like the other guys here.

[Mir]

I'm not a gazillionaire like the other guys here.

I wonder who are these guys?

[SANDRO43]

I wonder who are these guys?

Cannot say for sure, an April poll (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=4280.0) had $100K/year as upper choice. How many zeroes in a gazillion ?

[Mir]

Well the majority, almost 40% had >$100,000.
Maybe we should have another poll with

100,001 - 200,000
200,001-500,000
500,001-1,000,000
>1,000,000
and A Gazillion brackets

[Zhena]

I've been reading.  Some people say not to believe web site hype.  Some people say just going to russia and flashing my americanness will not win me a nice pretty ladie.

But if that is the case, then how did so many people do it?

Is it all about $$$

Well maybe you can get a nice pretty lady in this way-for 3 years until she ll get her GC and will try to get half of yur money. Thats what you can get by flashing your americanness and money.

[jb]

I'm not a gazillionaire like the other guys here.

I wonder who are these guys?

Gator is a gazillionaire and he's still single and looking,,, so I guess it isn't money that the good women are really after.

[MaxxumUSA]

Well the majority, almost 40% had >$100,000.
Maybe we should have another poll with

100,001 - 200,000
200,001-500,000
500,001-1,000,000
>1,000,000
and A Gazillion brackets

Mir,

Unfortunately...  200K above a year does not necessarily mean all of the things you might think it means.  Especially in the USA.  IRS takes half off the top.  Then they tax your home.  Then you have other taxes on phone, power, and everything you buy.  Top of that is state taxes and local taxes.  Did I mention school tax, the tax on registering vehicles, and of course who can leave out tax on food that is cooked for you.

Basically...  Life for me was much the same when I was making much less money.  The only difference is now I need to pay an accountant to legally avoid paying tax.  Not sure what is less money...  paying the tax man or the accountant.

Oh...  And don't forget more insurance and lawyer fees because you need to protect yourself from financial loss.

Sure...  there is a bit more to play with...  but it is tiring trying to keep what you earn.  Actually more than just tiring.  It is a pain in the ass.

[jb]

Maxx

I much prefer paying the accountant to paying the taxman.  He's cheaper in the long run.

[Daveman]

Excellent posts David, for some reason I had you down as Dave.. now where did I get that... 

and more patience I guess... btw.. congrats on finally getting the petition approved...

[Mir]

Maxx

If you really want to experience getting screwed by taxes you should try ripoff Britain.
I think you will leave thinking USA is a tax-heaven!

[Gator]

Gator is a gazillionaire and he's still single and looking,,, so I guess it isn't money that the good women are really after.

That is rather insulting,; however, I assume you did not intend such.

Actually, I am only a half-gazillionaire because of D-I-V-O-R-C-E.  The ex-wifey is a good woman and she will have plenty left over which will go to my two sons (who will need it - one generation makes it, the second spends it, and the third suffers).

JB, believe it or not when dating I try to hide the fact that I live a comfortable life.  I do not travel as a student with a backpack, yet I do not stay at the best hotels, etc.  In fact with regard to the Cossack, it seems I got "outgifted" by a RM.

[jb]

That is rather insulting,; however, I assume you did not intend such.

I certainly did not intend to insult, what I was trying to address was the concept that an American with a lot of money can "buy" a nice bride in Russia or Ukraine.  In seeya's opening post he supposed it was all about money, while I think most of the successfully married men probably make a comfortable living, I don't think a single one of them would attribute his marriage to the size of his bank account.

[Simoni]

JB, believe it or not when dating I try to hide the fact that I live a comfortable life.  I do not travel as a student with a backpack, yet I do not stay at the best hotels, etc.  

That's the "gold" standard....errr... I mean that's the way to do it, Gator.  I did the same....I wanted a woman who wanted me for who I am, and not for my pocketbook!  So I was not flashy at all in my spending in the FSU....nor even at home.

My Marina never asked how much money I had, and now, almost two years into our relationship, she watches pennies by shopping carefully, etc.

[Turkey]

I can't say anything for RW but in general I think it's appropriate for women to have an interest in whether or not the man can financially support the family, just as I think it's important that men find women (and vice versa!) that they are attracted to.  I really think it's pretty natural and useless to try to fight millions of years of evolution.  It's just the way it is.

With that said, I don't think that any relationship will last if it's based on those two factors.  Those two factors, while important are just the beginning.  Money doesn't buy you happiness, it just gives you material options.  Looks fade and aren't always the same.  A lady with makeup is going to look differently than without; and if you don't love her when she isn't 'painted up' then I think you're in trouble. 

If you don't share common values and some interests (although I tend to think this is less important), your relationship will either not last or will be miserable.  Just my 2 cents

[Gator]

Turkey wrote,

Money doesn't buy you happiness

Many women think that a person who says that does not know where to shop. 

Nevertheless, the statement is true.  Psychiatrists will confirm it as they are very busy mostly helping a clientele with money.

[Zhena]

Gator you still sound regreting about some RM who took your dear Cossak Do you think you would be really happy with that woman? Or this is a matter of competition?

[seeya]

Everyone thinks that money is not the key for success.

That is good news to me.

so what's the explanation of women enlargening their dating pool and "marriage agencies"?  I have read TRs where those in attendance noted how quickly girls wanted to get married.   

At the very, very, very least there is inflated interest.  Some one who is out of game in the US, seems to find a couple of extra innings in the FSU.

Would anyone oppose this?

[Lily]

seeya,

if you 'd address your question to women, you may want to ask in "Ask a Russian Woman" board.

[MaxxumUSA]

Everyone thinks that money is not the key for success.

That is good news to me.

so what's the explanation of women enlargening their dating pool and "marriage agencies"?  I have read TRs where those in attendance noted how quickly girls wanted to get married.   

At the very, very, very least there is inflated interest.  Some one who is out of game in the US, seems to find a couple of extra innings in the FSU.

Would anyone oppose this?

Seeya,

Money is not the "Key" to success.  But it is important to have enough for a long distance international relationship.  In about one week I will make my third trip to Russia.  I will make my fourth trip about two months after that when my Elena has her Visa interview and then we will fly back to the USA together.  Travel alone this year I believe I will spend about $12K just in travel expenses.  I mean...  this is above and beyond my normal living expenses.

Besides the travel expense when she gets here to the USA we will need to purchase a few things.  (new bedroom set, some clothes for her, minor changes in the home, etc.)  Plus she will need some "walking money" as she will not be allowed to work until she gets her papers.  So total first year in a successful relationship you can spend $20k fairly easily.  (Not including wedding costs)

Not everyone needs to visit this often but I think it is a necessity as we are in love and need to see each other.  You might be able to go the the first year process (with engagement) for 1/2 that amount but that is still a lot of money.

Dating pool:  Yes - out of the millions of RW living in Russia there is a small percentage that desire to meet and marry a good foreign man.  Just like I said for myself "It just felt right" I believe for many of these women that is their feeling as well.  I don't think they will marry the first bonehead to cross their path.  But I do believe they have had their share of experiences in relationships and are willing to forgive a few defects to accept a man and marry him.  And I mean...  sincerely accept and love that man.  They are willing to get married quickly because they know what they want.  Besides it is fairly common in Russian Women that once they are with a man, their is not an extremely long courtship before an engagement.  The women I know are wanting to get married quickly - AFTER they find the right man.

For my Elena I asked her about these things.  I asked her after our first visit and before I proposed on my second visit "Are you SURE about me?"  Her answer was "Yes, my dear.  I'm sure.  I know what it is that I want."  This brings to mind one of MY motivations to seek a woman abroad.  I figured with such a very large pool of beautiful women it would increase my chances of finding one - just one - that truly was waiting for a man just like me.  "There's a wrench for every nut."  comes to mind. 

As for the extra innings...  I am unsure of your age.  I recently turned 39.  Elena will be 31 in a month or two.  Personally I was never "out of the game" and certainly did not NEED to go to russia to "play ball."  But - yes - I do believe men that are either out of the game here or don't have game here will have better success over there in Russia.  Again reason being is because I think in general the women are more accepting of our flaws - IF there is a connection.

I am making some generalizations here based on my experience with Elena.  I think these would hold true with most RW IF there is a connection with a foreign man.  Without a connection most of these generalizations probably get thrown right out the window.