Whats the cost for English lessons??

[Yulz]

For someone obsessed like a woman at imagining "personal attacks" when only *issues* are being discussed you sure take the cake Scot.

Errr... obsessed like a woman, you say, WmGO?.. that's a very interesting statement for someone who claims he's being objective in discussions...
oh, wait, I must refrain from admitting that I took this one personally!!... or else I'll be living it up to the stereotype... 
I guess now we know why else you're still single.... 

[Wayne B]

Hi all, this is my first post, but Im a bit ahead of the newby game as I just returned a week ago following an excellent trip to Kherson. Excellent in terms, that I met the lady I had been corresponding with for two months and we got on like a house on fire!
Her English is OK but she is keen to improve it, she has just sent me a sms saying that the English teacher wants $250.00 a month for this!! (I had offered to help her with this!!) But in my mind I thought these lessons would be about US$10.00 an hour!
Has anyone any thoughts on this??

    carraig, $10.00 p/hr is what Anna spent in Kharkov just three months ago.....$250.00 a month is not high if this includes books and papers for studying....the $10.00 p/hr was for lesson only!

[carraig]

Thanks for the last few more rational responses people!
Jeez, this was my first post and Im almost sorry I asked now lol.

[Kuna]

Carraig,

You might have a wide assortment of opinions but that's one of the great things about RWD.  While the cost of the English lessons might be reasonable (or might not be from other people perspective) there's still good discussion above that you might want to consider.

Personally I think a holiday will only show you what a lady is like during a holiday and if you're pursuing marriage you might want to spend more time with her in a more natural environment.

I just spent a little over 3 weeks with My Girl in her home in Dnepr and left her knowing I'm doing exactly the right thing in marrying her.  Why? Every day wasn't perfect but after seeing her day in and day out in her normal routine (including normal and natural mood paterns) I am certain we'll sustain a strong andf loving relationship.

Taking a holiday migth be exciting... but if you're seeking marriage you might want to consider delaying the holidays for just a little while.

Kuna

[groovlstk]

Thanks for the last few more rational responses people!
Jeez, this was my first post and Im almost sorry I asked now lol.

For some unfathomable reason no question seems to provoke the sheer number of responses here than "is she scamming me or not?" I'm perplexed as to why this is, but everyone seems to have their own internal barometer in measuring a girl's intentions and aren't shy about sharing.

[I/O]

Jeez, this was my first post and Im almost sorry I asked now lol.

Dont be..!!!  One usually gets more than they bargain for here.   How a simple question can go haywire in one easy lesson.

FWIW The tuition charges have been argued back and forth enough and I think you've found a general guide here as to what might be realistic. Much of this thread has been about what she said to you, what you understood her to say to you, what you thought you understood and then how you wrote that down for the rest of us to understand.  No criticism, simply making the point that a number here a making far too many assumptions based on their own particular wealth of experience and none of us have ever spoken to the lady directly to form a really informed opinion.

Again FWIW, if I were to tender some advice it would go something like this.  Save your gold for now and put it towards air tickets.  If the subject comes up again, I would say to her that you wish to speak with the various available teachers yourself in order to establish their real skill level by world standards.  Any arguement from her on that, would, for me, invoke some serious doubts. Other than that I would run with the tide for the moment. 

I see no benifit in you sending money for an unknown in the short term as you clearly have some doubts and I can't see your paying for English lessons for her removing those doubts right now.  In fact I suggest it might do just the opposite.

To your planned trip.  Yes, as some others have mentioned, splashing around trips and so forth can create a platform of expectation, but as you indicate, you have not gone emotionally over the deep end at this point and if you keep it that way amid having someone nice to travel with, then so be it.  That is entirely your call so to say. BTW, it wont cost her $100 for that train ride to Odessa. Less than 2 years back I did that ride for about $25 IIRC and allowing for increases, the ol' round number is a tad on the high side.

Final note of caution, I learned a while back that if you have the money and inclination to travel, there is always, always a pretty lady who is willing join in.  It doesn't matter which country you think of, there is always someone willing to travel also.  Just because she is from the FSU doesn't make her anyways out of the norm' in that respect.

I/O

[Gator]

Carraig,

You like this woman.  Sending her money for English lessons has four benefits: it acknowledges her interest in you, it keeps her focused on you, it is a test of her sincerity, and it shows that you are not stingy and cheap (“greedy” in her language).

My explanation.  If she is already at a 6 of 10 English level, the two of you can communicate except that serious conversations take a long time.  My opinion is that a few lessons will not help measurably.  Yet, I must admire a woman who wants to study English because this is her man’s language.  Studying English is not a load of fun; it is work.  Taking the lessons keeps her focused on you.   If there is no improvement, it means she is spending the money on something else – a bad sign yet it is good to discover this now. 

So send her the money

[jb]

Studying English is not a load of fun; it is work

.

Studying Russian is less fun and more work, let's not forget this is a two way street.

[macman]

let's not forget this is a two way street.

Amen JB,

It's miserable!  While living in Texas we learned Spanish "muy necissita", dating an Eesti naine (Estonian woman) it was Eesti Keelt and now I'm doing the PokA, pishi, do svydonia and the ruby begonia (southern joke).  I get it all mixed up and NOW I just got a new hair stylest from Estonia. . .  Hoooolllyyy mollly.  I didn't like English much either.

LOLouder.

mm

[macman]

Gator

My explanation.  If she is already at a 6 of 10 English level, the two of you can communicate except that serious conversations take a long time.  My opinion is that a few lessons will not help measurably.  Yet, I must admire a woman who wants to study English because this is her man’s language.  Studying English is not a load of fun; it is work.

You know the prospective mate with me.  I am smack dab in the middle of this same issue now.  I've had some external encouragement from Anastassia how some of the women from smaller communities have not been introduced to English; then there are the ones that know English well enough to be a "chance" in a different way - you understand I'm sure. 

Question:  What is the ROI having a translator all the time vs. sending the money for lessons? OR, are they both necessary and the caveat is the woman you've chosen to begin this endeavor?

BTW - she's been most gracious thus far.

MacMan

[Gator]

For a woman you never met, do not consider enrolling her in English lessons. 

A terp is necessary for any serious conversation.  A full-time terp is not necessary and no fun either.  If she is at basic English level, invest in an electronic translator (it has all the sex words for private discussions that you would never have with a terp).

[philb]

Gator
You know the prospective mate with me.  I am smack dab in the middle of this same issue now.  I've had some external encouragement from Anastassia how some of the women from smaller communities have not been introduced to English; then there are the ones that know English well enough to be a "chance" in a different way - you understand I'm sure. 

Question:  What is the ROI having a translator all the time vs. sending the money for lessons? OR, are they both necessary and the caveat is the woman you've chosen to begin this endeavor?

BTW - she's been most gracious thus far.

MacMan

Unless I am missing something,  you have never met this woman correct?  If so, you shouldn't even be thinking about sending money.  Read those 10 commandments again.

Personally, I would be very careful sending money regularly even after one meeting. 

I know this whole language thing has been debated in the past, but unless you are reasonably fluent in Russian I would give some long thought as to becomming involved with a woman who does not speak English at a level 5 (on a 1-10) scale or better.

[macman]

philb
Thanks man. . . therefore the angst and issue with monies spent on translation and/or English lessons.  It's the caveat we are all presented with.  I've been told that the country/small town girls will require this.  They may have more substance "I'd hope" vs. the city girl that knows English, contemplates her "own" course using our sustenance to achieve her personal desire!

Quite the issue of most I'm sure!

Mm

[philb]

One other thought,  I don't know how small of a town you are talking about.  But unless it is extrememely small I bet there are some free to low cost options available to her.  Often various churches will offer some type of free English lessons, there is typically an English language club or two in most towns, and there is always various computer programs.  I realize all of thes things are less than ideal, but I think if these women are serious in looking for a foreign husband they need to show a little initiative in this area before WM start throwing money at them.

[macman]

Hey Bro,

You hit "the" nail on the head.  I am thinking the same thing and while doing inventory of my investment, not in a "greedy" perspective (which is discussed in other posts) but, more in an investment position.

My bad. Investing in a woman I've not met.
My bad. Investing in a woman that has not desired to learn English enough to make this transition.  OR. . . My bad for not leading her to learn and show progress in an incremenal fashion BEFRORE I move on!

Why throw the diamond away without some polish - or, do I wish to have my microwave dinner Bride?

Thoughts?

mm

[Gator]

My bad. Investing in a woman I've not met.  Yes, but you now know not to do that before you meet her.

My bad. Investing in a woman that has not desired to learn English enough to make this transition.   Maybe, read on.   Most women outside the major cities have no need to know English and do not hear it.  So if you decide to enter a relationship with this woman, you will need to spend a significant amount of money on English lessons.  If she works meanwhile and takes care of her little son, she will not have much time to learn.  Plus, she is 40, and it is not easy to learn English at that age.  This will go slowly, and you will need to decide if you can wait 2 years to learn to communicate seriously, or marry her without the ability to communicate.  If you marry, she will need a much attention and guidance and support when she arrives in America because she does not know the language.  Do you have this time?  After a year of this attempting to learn, she may decide that it is not worth the trouble and risk.  That is what my Cossack girlfriend decided.

OR. . . My bad for not leading her to learn and show progress in an incremenal fashion BEFRORE I move on!   No, there could be many reasons other than a language barrier why the two of you may not want to start a relationship.

[MaxxumUSA]

One other thought,  I don't know how small of a town you are talking about.  But unless it is extrememely small I bet there are some free to low cost options available to her.  Often various churches will offer some type of free English lessons, there is typically an English language club or two in most towns, and there is always various computer programs.  I realize all of thes things are less than ideal, but I think if these women are serious in looking for a foreign husband they need to show a little initiative in this area before WM start throwing money at them.

There is an option for me to turn off all avatars...  But I enjoy viewing others family, life, hobbies, etc.

your avatar looks like something on a site that has selective image blocking.

My point:  Can you change your avatar?  I am asking.  I don't like it.

[philb]

There is an option for me to turn off all avatars...  But I enjoy viewing others family, life, hobbies, etc.

your avatar looks like something on a site that has selective image blocking.

My point:  Can you change your avatar?  I am asking.  I don't like it.

Yeah, I have been worried that you might not like it.  Get a life.

[Gator]

PhilB,

No kidding man, this dog looks like a pit bull.  They are dangerous even if you tell me your dog is gentle.  Even if it is gentle, it still is a redneck's dog. 

Your avatar seems more menacing than Stirlitz's air pistol.     

Nevertheless, it is your choice to keep it even if others don't like it. 

[philb]

PhilB,

No kidding man, this dog looks like a pit bull.  They are dangerous even if you tell me your dog is gentle.  Even if it is gentle, it still is a redneck's dog. 

Your avatar seems more menacing than Stirlitz's air pistol.     

Nevertheless, it is your choice to keep it even if others don't like it. 

Alright boys,  I have posted about this dog in the past.  She is 100% Ukrainian American Staffordshire Terrier.  My wife brought her over.  Now lets not hijack a thread over a picture of a dog.

[ScottinCrimea]

Before I had ever met my wife, she wrote to me asking for money to repair the furnace in her home ($1,000).  I could tell by what she wrote that this was difficult for her to ask but she said she had nowhere else to turn and worried about her daughter having to deal with a Ukrainian winter with no heat.  I really debated with myself about this for awhile.  I still had not met her and was still not sure that she was sincere in her intentions.  Finally I decided to send the money.  Why?  Because for me this amount of money really wasn't a big deal to me.  I figured that the worst case scenario was that she was scamming me, but that it would make more of a difference in her life than in mine, so in that case it would be an act of charity so to speak.  Later, when I moved to Ukraine and lived in her home, I really appreciated that I had sent the money, because the furnace that I had paid for kept me warm that first winter before we moved to our new apartment.

[Jazzyclassy]

Well Scott but not all guys  are so lucky as you are ,  I personally would never send money to the woman I never met if I were a guy,

Yeah people are different some people send money some do not , it is the matter of personal choice and I think it is better for the guy to think it over from both points  about sending money to the woman he met only once, no matter how great the relations seemed to be , you never know it might all be fake, but from the other point what if she is your destiny as you all love to sing about here:) but then again only you can decide , nobody else can decide for you

[ScottinCrimea]

Jazzy, even if she had turned out to be a scammer, I would not have regretted sending the money.  That was what I had to decide I would feel when I sent it.  At that time $1,000 was really nothing to me, so in addition to serving to assuage my guilt for having so much, it also served as somewhat of a test to verify her sincerity.

[Jazzyclassy]

well Scott what can I say? you are lucky to have such an  outlook on life and things, as for me  1000$ it is extremely a lot even right now, plus I am russian my way of thinking is different and my up brining is different, My mom always told me and my sister since our childhood that we should not take or accept money or expensive gifts from guys when we hardly know them or when we are not sure if we are going to marry them and so on. Understand me correctly once again,I do not consider your sending money to your woman foolish or anything, it is just not how I would have done it:)

[I/O]

My mom always told me and my sister since our childhood that we should not take or accept money or expensive gifts from guys when we hardly know them or when we are not sure if we are going to marry them and so on.

Jazz: This lead me to a question.  Is this something specifically within your family culture or do you think it applies to Russian upbringing (As you know it) in general?

I/O