Hello from Oregon!

[lenah]

My name is Elena and this is my story:

I came to the United States on K-1 in 1993. Prior to that, I lived in Moscow and was employed in the MSU. I enjoy helping people and their families develop better relationships. I am from a large city but now I enjoy living out in the beautiful countryside of Western Oregon.

I have two wonderful children - my daughter is in college and my son is in middle school. I brought my parents over here and my mother lived with us for many years.

 I met my husband through a mutual friend. Our first phone call with each other was five hours long and we now blessed with a healthy, fulfilling marriage. His statement in our first phone call that "I am going to marry you" came true. Quite a statement from someone who had not even seen a picture of the girl he was speaking with! Sometimes wonderful things happen when you take chances.I believe that mutual commitment, shared goals, love, respect, and honesty are the foundation of a successful marriage.

My life here in the United States was not easy in the beginning, but it has been worth it and I am enjoying living here while remembering my heritage from Russia. I have a rewarding business helping American men to start relationships with Russian/Ukrainian women. They invite me to their weddings and have given me a lot of great feedback on the interpretation services and relationship advice that I have given them.

www.elenareachingrussia.com

[Gator]

Married for 14 years!  Congratulations. 

I believe that mutual commitment, shared goals, love, respect, and honesty are the foundation of a successful marriage.

Great advice for any marriage.

I have several questions?  But only three tonight.

1.  Do you know of any longer marriages between RW and American men?  When you came, you probably did not know other RW who had married AM.  America had just recently been the big bad wolf.  Coming here was  a great leap of faith, much bigger than now.

2.  You have observed the RW-AM marriage endeavor for 14 years.  What has changed over those years?

3.  What are the typical mistakes men make in communicating with women over the phone?

[START2]

Lenah,
 Good luck with your business. Hope it's real.

  Gator, as for you, that'll be $4.

[macman]

3.  What are the typical mistakes men make in communicating with women over the phone?

14 yrs. . .and this is a record. . . Good grief!  What am I doin'?


:-)
mm

[Jazzyclassy]

Welcome Lena:)

I am sure a lot of guys here would like to use your help and experience

enjoy your stay here:)

Добро пожаловать!:)

missed russian?)))

Do your kids know some russian? and how difficult it was for you to waken love for russian language in your kids, if they speak any of course:)

[catzenmouse]

Welcome Lena!

 I've seen you and your service around for a long time on different boards. Always heard good things about you so congratulations on your successful business and good reputation!

 A bigger congratulations on your 14 year marriage! I certainly hope that my Lena will be able to put up with me for that long!

Ken

[William3rd]

Dont worry Ken, your Lena will keep you around a long time. Look how long Roy Rogers kept Trigger!!!!!!!

[catzenmouse]

LOL William! Thanks, I think...

[SANDRO43]

Do your kids know some russian? and how difficult it was for you to waken love for russian language in your kids, if they speak any of course:)

Elena, welcome, you may find this (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=5087.0) a relevant thread for posting an answer to JC's question and offering your views on the matter .

[Muj]

Welcome neighbor!  Lenah, did you adapt easily to our rainy climate?  What activities do you like most here?

[acrzybear]

Dont worry Ken, your Lena will keep you around a long time. Look how long Roy Rogers kept Trigger!!!!!!!

True, but Trigger was stuffed and mounted when he died. SO Ken you do have something to look forward to

[catzenmouse]

Bear,

 When are you gonna get your furry butt up to WI? I would like to buy you a beer or two or three...

[duplantisjj]

Welcome Lenah.  I hope to be a success story like you one day.  At the moment I'm still learning the process....and it's a looooonnnggg process..

[lenah]

1.  Do you know of any longer marriages between RW and American men?  When you came, you probably did not know other RW who had married AM.  America had just recently been the big bad wolf.  Coming here was  a great leap of faith, much bigger than now.

2.  You have observed the RW-AM marriage endeavor for 14 years.  What has changed over those years?

3.  What are the typical mistakes men make in communicating with women over the phone?

A1. No, I don't know of any personally. In 1993, I believe there were only 500 K-1 given to RW by American Embassy.

A2. After 3 years of marriage, we had some problems but were committed and were able to solve them. Everything got better from there. I think this kind of timeframe is common in many marriages.

A3. Typical mistakes over the phone?

...Calling very early in the morning or too late at night.
...Calling too much or not enough.
...Bringing up memories from past relationships.
...Making comparisons with other women/ex-girlfriends.
...Calling when you are under the influence of alcohol.
...Bargaining and telling girl you can't afford something.
...Bragging
...Repeatedly asking the same questions.
...Making promises not meant to be kept.


Elena

[lenah]

Do your kids know some russian? and how difficult it was for you to waken love for russian language in your kids, if they speak any of course:)

Privet and thank you for your warm welcome. My children do speak Russian... Having
russian TV has been very helpful, especially the old cartoons. A Russian-speaking grandma living in our home has been a major motivator for both of them to keep up the language. My girl still considers it her native tongue, but my son is very American and just keeps it up for the sake of communicating with grandma. However, there was no Russian community in this area when I first moved. For the first 3 years, the only Russian I could speak was to my children...this isolation helped us to keep the language in our home.

[Lily]

 
...Bargaining and telling girl you can't afford something.
 

Elena, with this list of things you give very good advice indeed!

Could you please tell a little more details about the 'bargaining'..what specifically do you mean here? what is 'bargaining'? How, in your opinion, should the man go if he wants to tell the woman that his personal potential of acquiring material things has some restrictions?Thank you!

[Dan C.]

Maybe she meant bragging.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Hello Elena,

I have seen you for as much as i can remember on other discussion boards too.    Welcome to this one!
I didn't know that you are in Oregon. I was in Bellevue all these years, but last summer moved to the East cost.
All the best to you and your family.

[lenah]

Elena, with this list of things you give very good advice indeed!

Could you please tell a little more details about the 'bargaining'..what specifically do you mean here? what is 'bargaining'? How, in your opinion, should the man go if he wants to tell the woman that his personal potential of acquiring material things has some restrictions?Thank you!

Bargaining...Yes, I do mean bargaining and not bragging.

For example, sometimes clients try to find a good deal for renting an apartment, or translator's fees. Finding the cheapest apartment may result in really poor quality...or improper translations leading to miscommunication and potentially serious problems...

There are some personalities of American men that enjoy bargaining as their personal lifestyle. But, I don't recommend for men who just started a relationship over internet to be too pushy with his bargaining attitude.  If this is part of who you really are, it will come out sooner or later, but is not advised for the initial step of courtship. However, I do strongly suggest foreign men to have a detailed conversation with his fiance regarding his financial status and family budget.

For a man who wants to convey that his "personal potential of acquiring material things has some restrictions," he should definitely write about that before the first meeting.
Also, try to avoid getting a cosponsor for a K-1 application.

Elena
www.elenareachingrussia.com

[Wist]

Well hello Elena its a pleasant surprise to see you here. Anyone reading this should give Elena a warm welcome as I know she will be an invaluable asset to the forum.